A Creed's Value
by Dragonslab
Summary: The protagonist of this story finds himself in an unusual predicament. A young man with no memory prior to four months ago, the mindset of a child, and under the tutelage of a mage and her mysterious butler. Let's begin the tale of a man who attempts to find his "self" and discover the truth of magic and why it is so important he learns it. It's the journey of an utter fool.
1. The Journey of 1,000 Miles Begins With

I cannot think, only feel. I walk with someone who is of me, but not myself. Even though my lower appendages are clearly strong, stronger than those of the one before me, I am unable to move with the grace or precision as they, falling and stumbling over myself many times. Still, I walk with them; they who are of me, but not myself.

 _Self._ What a strange concept. _Who is it? Who am I? Where_ \- fear. As mentioned before, this person, myself, cannot think, only feel, and all he, all I, can feel is fear. I lash out and groan and let out other animalistic, inhuman sounds while the one before me jumps back, demonstrating the same thing I am experiencing. I could see it through their eyes when they turned at my rampaging: fear. The being raises one of their upper appendages at me and begins to release sounds of their own, though their sounds were more precise than mine and they carried with them a meaning I could not understand. The sounds calmed me and made me feel weary, and as the being's hand cast a soft glow upon me, I collapsed on the surface I had been walking on moments ago. It was hard and cold, much more so than my being and especially more so than of the one who walked with me. It was just as it was all those times earlier when I fell onto it. The image of the surface I laid upon, and of the being I walked with, faded and I ceased to be able to even feel.

I cannot think, only feel. It is because of this that when she spoke to me, using words, I could only comprehend them as being special sounds. Even so, I knew they were beautiful. I will always remember how beautiful both she and her words were. It is because of how beautiful her words were that I wish they could have been the first to ever fall upon these ears, but that is an impossible wish. I had already been spoken to long before she had even met me. Who said it to me, why they said it to me, I do not know. "You have it within yourself. You will be the greatest swordsman to ever exist. This, I decree."

Heat had warmed the body of my self that had turned as cold as the surface I had collapsed upon earlier. I had been brought back into this world from my earlier state of unconsciousness, but I was not experiencing the fear I had then. Instead I am laying on this surface that is much softer than where I had fallen, reflecting on those words that were spoken to me. It is strange. I cannot think, but I so clearly remember those words spoken to me and I know what they are: words. Stranger still, I know what they mean. I can see it clearly: a man standing brilliantly while firmly readying his blade. He gazes out at the starlit night, with his features so gently caressed and accentuated by the moonlight, staring solemnly at something bright forming in the distance. It is nothing special, simply his future; the path that lies ahead.

My mind whirs at this depiction while I gaze into the inferno across the room that is emitting the heat. I am not capable of conceiving "why" or of understanding the implications behind those words and that image, but I still wonder at them. While staring into the bright source of heat, the being who had taken away my consciousness entered the room. I stared at them as they walked to kneel beside the surface I was laying upon and began speaking to me once more. I noticed another being, one whose stature more closely imitated my own, standing in the entrance they entered through. I turned back to the one beside where I lay and focused on what they were saying. I wanted to know. I wanted to be able to understand what they were saying to me, but I couldn't. Still, a strange feeling came over me, as if I had to give this being something to work with.

"..You are a… swords m-man." I spoke to it with some of the only words I knew, and this made them cease to talk. Not another word was spoken once I spoke that and after the two beings lingered in the room for a while longer, they took their leave.

The first thing I learned was the difference between myself and the being who had begun caring for me. I was a "he" and they were a "she." The other one who also lived with us in these dwellings is also a "he." I knew from the beginning that we had to be different, as I was broader and taller than her, and she was much softer and delicate, in both expression and form. It is true that my body is much more similar to the other one who coexists with us, as I could tell from the times he assisted me in cleansing my body, but there was still a difference in how rough and aged he looked compared to myself. Nevertheless, this information helped to give me a better sense of my "self."

As time persisted with the humans I lived with, I began to understand the words I had being spoken to me as well as the ones I had been speaking to them. We are now having breakfast; the first meal eaten during the day. Standing behind me while I eat is Auguste. He is the other male who lives in this abode and is the one who works for the female seated across the table from me, Luvia Edelfelt. I still do not know why I live with them, but I do feel safe amongst them. I lower my fork to partake of the food, but I quickly drop it onto the table as my hand is swatted by Auguste's hand towel.

"How many times must I exclaim that you are to use this fork when eating the steak tips?" Auguste sternly states this into my ear while dramatically picking up and placing back down one of the many forks arranged next to my plate. That's right. The fork was the pronged one, not the oval shaped one, the spoon.

"Sorry… I'm s-sorry." I had been taught how to apologize and it is one of the main ways I express myself in this setting. Not because I enjoy doing so, but because it seems I always do something to displease one of the two, mainly Auguste.

"Auguste, you needn't be so harsh, he is still learning after all. In fact, you should learn to praise him from time to time for how quickly he's been adapting to this place." Auguste expresses his apology and remains silent for the remainder of our breakfast. Auguste does not eat our meals with us, "as is the way of a butler" he explains and while I'm still not quite sure what a butler is, I can only assume it is the title he uses while working under Luvia.

Once breakfast is over, we immediately move on to my lessons. I now understand that what Luvia used on me back then when she put me into a state of slumber is referred to as "magic." Magic intrigues me, but I am not quite sure how it works. Luvia performs beautiful tricks with magic and can exert it as easily as breathing, yet Auguste is unable to do any sort of magic. Luvia tells me I have great potential for magic and that it is my duty to learn it, but I don't quite understand why learning it is so important. I suppose I do want to learn it all the same, though. The thing is, even though Luvia says I have amazing potential, I don't think I have any affinity for magic and I have gotten to the point where I want to give up. It is not out of frustration, but out of fear. It is because every time I fail in the experiment Luvia has me perform, she gets a very grave expression and in it I can see desperation. I don't question it, partially out of fear, but it is mostly because I feel that asking won't change anything.

I ponder this while Luvia leads me up the stairs from the foyer by my hand. "Luvia, I know you really want me to do magic and all, but.." She gives little mind to my talk, but does respond with a light hum. I stop walking and stubbornly tug on her grip. "I don't think I can do it. We've been trying for all this time and I can't do any of your tricks yet. I want to learn, but I can't." Luvia does not turn to face me and does not let go of my wrist.

"That's foolish talk. You are plenty capable of learning magic and you will learn magic."

"But I can't do any of your tricks no matter how hard I try-" Her grip tightens on my hand. I pull away harder while whimpering slightly.

"…it's not about learning a couple of card tricks!" I heard her spit out under her breath.

"What?" I clearly heard her, but I couldn't understand what she meant.

My wrist hurt. I pulled even harder now and gasped from time to time from the pain of her nails digging into me. Luvia turned to face me when she shouted out "This is not about whether you can do a parlor trick! I'm teaching you magic, not magic _tricks_!" I was scared. I didn't want to keep trying to learn magic because it looked like it was hard for her, like it upset her. Now, however, she looked far more frustrated than I've ever seen her before.

"Stop…" I weakly begged. She apparently did not hear me and turned to continue ascending the last few steps of the stairs, forcefully dragging me by my hand. "Please, stop!" I yanked my arm from her grip and wrapped my other hand around my wrist, from which she managed to draw some red fluid from. I could've yanked it away the whole time, I'm far stronger than her physically, but I did not know what would happen if I opposed her. When she turned back to look at me, I was immensely frightened to see a mixture of rage and shock spread across her face.

"Stop being so" she turned her footing and adjusted the stance of her body while cocking her arm back "childish!" I didn't even raise my arms up to block my head.

Paralyzed by fear, I stood perfectly still while she punched me square in my right cheek. I fell backwards, letting my body go limp. I don't know why I conceded to her, but it must've been out of fear. One, three, six. I count the stairs I fall past as I tumble down the them. A metal post is at the base of the railing. My forehead smashes into it, right on the pronounced edges of the intricate piece. I kick off the first step and onto the marble flooring of the foyer, scooching as far away from the stairs as I can with my knees and left arm, as my right one is in immense pain for some reason. I'm exhaling heavily and can't seem to get control of my breathing. I feel a wetness on my face. A mixture of my own tears, the red fluid gushing from the gash on my forehead, and the red fluid from my busted lip were trailing down my face. The vision in my right eye becomes tinted red as it drips into it and creates a thin film over the eye. My left arm slips in the puddle I created on the floor and my head comes crashing down, slamming my chin onto the floor and making my teeth bite down hard onto the soft flesh of my tongue. Even through the pain, I push across the floor a bit more and turn my head over my shoulder to prepare if she so chose to strike me again.

At the top of the stairs, Luvia was staring down at me wide-eyed with one hand covering her mouth as tears streamed down her face. She looked down at her hand she decked me with in horror and turned over her shoulder while sniffling. "A-Auguste! Help! Please, help him! I-I-" Auguste appeared behind her faster than I figured possible and quickly assessed the situation after seeing me at the bottom of the stairs with my bloody face.

I didn't pay attention to him though, I just stared up at Luvia while my mind raced. _Why did she hurt me? What did I do wrong? What am I covered in?_ I had seen it once before when I was watching Auguste cook steak. It was red and it dripped from the meat, as it drips from my face now. Auguste had reached me at this point and had lifted me in his arms and begun carrying me up the stairs, but I hardly noticed. I just continued staring at Luvia and she stared back at me. When Auguste reached the top and turned to take me down the hallway, I parted my lips to say something to her, and she did the same.

"Sorry", we both let out at the same time.

I regretted apologizing, not because I didn't mean it or anything, but because it hurt to move my mouth. I tentatively moved my aching tongue around in my mouth and grimaced in disgust. "Auguste, what is all this bitter red fluid?" Auguste didn't answer me immediately, as he opened the door to my bedroom and gently laid me down on my bed. This bed is the first memory I have of this place. It was the "soft surface" I woke up on that night.

 _A loud clang. The sounds of metal clashing against metal. I'm thinking about it again. About the beautiful swordsmanship of two men fighting under the night sky, brandishing their magnificent blades against one another. Illuminated only by the light of the moon and of the golden sparks firing off from their blades colliding. Their amazing, dignified technique…_ "It is your blood." I was snapped out of my day dream by Auguste finally deciding to answer me and by the stinging of whatever medicine he was using to wipe away at my forehead with.

"My blood? Huh? Blood? What are you saying is my blood?" He looked at me in slight irritation and wiped at my cut with more gusto. "Ow ow ow!"

"Be quiet, it will keep the wound clean. And, since you have apparently forgotten the question you posed me, you had asked me earlier what the crimson fluid covering you was. It is the blood from within your body. It is very essential to your life, so please refrain from losing too much." I squinted slightly at him due to the bad taste of his last comment. He says it like I tried to get all banged up…

After Auguste had thoroughly treated all my cuts and bruises, he silently left, leaving me alone on the bed in the quiet room. I wanted to reflect on what had just happened, but this room stimulates my brain to think of other things. _I can see it again. They fight each other with intense fervor, not to the degree where they'd disrespect their blades or their technique, but they still fight as to kill the other. Kill? Murder, death, homicide, why do I know what this means? Such a disgusting word, such a disgusting intent, but that's all overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of the two fighting. The two men are featureless, but their swords are magnificent. Those swords move as though they are the host and the two men are the tools, those swords are those two men's entire being. I just can't understand one thing. One of the men wields a sword far inferior to the other, yet he still fights, and on equal footing to boot._

I watched the two men fight for as long as the picture persisted in my mind. I had seen the fight time and time again and I have it almost completely memorized at this point, but I still watch it every time just as enthusiastically as the last. My earliest memory is of those words."You will be the greatest swordsman to ever exist." I still remember it so vividly. Ever since that day though, I have dreamed of swords. Specifically of those two men fighting with swords. My earliest memory is from 4 months ago, it was then I heard those words and it was then that Luvia brought me here to her mansion, my home. What was before that… I don't know. It was probably nothing. I begin to wonder if those words were also from a dream. It's likely, considering I can remember them so clearly, but not who said them or why I was told them. If that's so, it is by far the most vivid dream I've had to date.

I don't know how long I had been lying in the room. There's no windows or clock, only this bed, the fireplace, and the door, so I have no indicator of how long I'd been in here, but it felt like a long time. I finally managed to pull my thoughts away from swords and swordplay. _I wonder what kind of memories Luvia has…_ Almost as if on queue, the door to the room opens and Luvia peaks her head in. I retract away instinctively from the direction of the doorway and warily look at her. She nervously returns the look for a moment before turning her back to the door and pushing it inwards while walking back into the room. I see why she did so, indicated by the tray of tea and pastries she's holding. "I thought you might like to join me for a bit of tea?"

I sipped at my tea and ate my cookies quietly, though I indulged in the latter moreso because I found it hard to take the bitter taste of the tea. Luvia seemed to notice my sparse tea sipping, "we have some cream and sugar if you'd like some in your tea?" I would've agreed, but I felt the urge to prove my maturity to her.

"No thank you, I actually prefer it by itself. My tongue is just a bit sensitive to the heat of the tea is all." A lie. She looked down at her cup sadly and mumbled out "I see." I regretted bringing up my injuries to her, but didn't really know what else to talk about. Luvia filled the silence in my stead.

"I need to apologize once more. I am sorry that I struck you in such a brutish manner. I suppose I was just scared. I didn't want you to give up on the pursuit of magic…" I could feel the sincerity in her voice and finally let myself ease up.

"I'm sorry too Luvia. I swear I won't do it again." I let out a forced chuckle, but she only reacted by biting down on her lower lip. She looked up finally with those pained eyes and stared into mine.

"Do you mean that? Do you even know what you're apologizing for?"

I was left speechless. I did not know I had nothing to apologize for. _Nothing to apologize for? There has to be a reason to apologize? It's not as simple as saying sorry and the situation becomes all better?_ My mind raced trying to process these thoughts, and though I said nothing, Luvia seemed to almost read my mind. I thought for a moment her eyes became teary, but it must've been my imagination as she turned away and turned back to face me with a warm smile. "Nevermind, everything is alright. I accept your apology. I hope you can accept mine." I felt relief and gave her a genuine smile for the first time today.

"Of course I can!" Everything was better now. This made me happy. Luvia placed her tea down on the tray which she had set on the nightstand next to my bed and turned back to me.

"I am happy that is behind us, but we must settle another matter at hand. Your lessons. I understand you don't wish to learn magic, but it is imperative you do." She's using a lot of big words, but I can understand that for whatever reason, it's important I learn how to use magic.

"Why do I have to? I will do it if it is really that important, but I don't get it at all." She lets out an exhausted sigh and turns her gaze back to her lap.

"You just have to…"

After I sat there for a while waiting to hear the rest of her reasoning, I eventually realized she was not going to tell me anything else. "Alright I'll do it, I just hope that someday though you can tell me. I can keep a secret." She sighed with relief and raised her hand up to rub my head and sift her fingers through my hair.

"That's a good boy. You can be childish sometimes, but you're always so obedient." I could feel my face heat up and I lightly pushed her hand away.

"I am not childish! I'm a man, just like Auguste." I was embarrassed and agitated by her calling me childish, but those feelings dissipated when I saw her smile falter and the brightness in her eyes vanish.

"I see. Yes, you are indeed a full-fledged man, aren't you? Yes… you're even two years older than I…" _Am I? I'm two years older than her? Two years is much longer than just four months. Wait_ -

"Luvia, how old are you?" She shook off her glum expression and quietly answered

"I am currently 18 years old" while avoiding my gaze. _What? 20 years… I've been alive for 20 years? Where is the time from before then? From before the four months? I can't possibly have lived for that long!_ Luvia began picking up the various plates and saucers we used and stacked them on the tray. She stood up, still not looking at me and picked up the tray, while making her way to the door. I shakily turned towards her, "w-wait!" She still refused to look at me while she balanced the tray on one hand and reached back to pull the door closed with the other.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you so late. We will begin lessons once more tomorrow." She closed the door without saying another word and I listened as her footsteps faded into the distance.

"Luvia!" I got out of the bed, onto my feet, and staggered to the door. "Luvia! Wait! W-Where am I!?" I wasn't thinking straight and I was aware of that fact, but I was slowly growing more and more scared. I reached the door and attempted to open it, but it wouldn't budge. She had locked it from the outside. "Luvia… Luviaaaaa!" I banged on the door, but I couldn't hope to force it open. Just like the swords in my dreams, it was made of cold steel. I took a step back from the door and, without thinking, drove my right fist into it as hard as I could. I screamed. My wrist had already been sprained and now something within my hand cracked. It hurt, but even more than that it made me even more terrified than I already was. I struck at the doorway time and time again with that fist, mimicking the way Luvia drove her punch, screaming each and every time, but no one came. "WHERE AM I?!" I knew where I was, but at the same time I didn't. "WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!" I knew who they were, but at the same time I didn't. "…I'm scared…" I fell to my knees and let my crushed hand, slick with blood, slide down and off the metal door as I fell. I felt the tears overflowing from my eyes again and my nose was dripping with snot as I sniveled and cried on the floor, staring up at the door. "Who… who am I… ?"

.

.

.

.

.

.

That,

I did not know.

I did not know who I was. In self, or in name…

 _A catalyst reacts. Tempered steel folded a million times shatters finally. Magma leaks from the core and flows throughout the faults. A glass vein shatters. The conduit breaks._

I stand to my feet. My body is breaking, but I will let it be known first. A mark. I have to leave a mark. So that even should I forget, **they won't**. My right arm cannot be used again, so I will use my other. I raise it. I can feel the power through every limb, every organ, every cell. I can see it. Through my incandescent blood leaking through my eyes, my mouth, nose, and the cracks forming in my skin. I pull back my arm and twist my torso to the extent my body will allow. This amount of torque will surely be enough. And so, my body uncoils and I drive the palm of my hand into the door, but even I am not a fool. I know no physical exertion I perform will make this door budge… so I reach deeper into myself and force something out of me that can unhinge this door; something that can pave the way, _my_ way. And so a violent wave ripples throughout my body and escapes from my arm. It expels from the base of my forearm to the tips of my fingers, shredding all the flesh on the way until it hits the door upon which it expands. No longer a force, but something more. The incandescent, crimson blood rages and becomes a raging luminescent, blue cyclone. The door flies away from my palm, seemingly with no resistance, and is shredded into sparkling dust along with everything that stood around and in front of myself. I watch, weakly and in awe, as the devouring cyclone shreds its way from the hallway and straight through the roof of the mansion. I take a step forward, as if to follow it, and continue to do so until I am outside of what used to be my room and onto the ruined floor of the hallway.

All energy leaves my body once I exit the room. Stepping into that hallway was my final act of rebellion. I collapse. I do, however, manage to turn over and look up at the great hole I made in the roof and through it I can see the night sky. _This… is my first time seeing it._ Though I had seen it many times before in my dreams, this moment is the first time I was able to see the stars and the moon hanging so perfectly up there. It was just as perfect as the ones in my dream. I look over at my right arm which had been broken and shattered from mindlessly pounding at the door and then I look to my left which has had all the skin rended from the flesh from the cascade of energy. And then I felt the puddle of blood formed beneath me from all the gouts of it leaving my body. _I guess I forgot, Auguste… to hold onto it._ I look one last time at the beautiful, magnificent night sky. _But at least with this I know… This mark I left proves it. It gives me validity..._

 _I am someone._


	2. Nameless

"I don't know where to even begin! How idiotic can one be?! Why would you even think of doing something like that?!" I'd been listening to Luvia chastise me for a while now, unable to move away from the scolding. Partially because I'd been fixated to my bed, but it was mostly because my arms hurt so badly that I couldn't even nudge a finger. "I mean seriously! I lock your door every night, it's not as if you were trapped in the room or anything. I'd hardly think it warranted destroying the roof! Do you know how long it will take Auguste to patch that up?" I heard Auguste grunt in response from across the room, but was unable to look in his direction.

Although Luvia had been on my case all morning, she was more energetic than I'd ever seen her before. I wouldn't necessarily say she seemed happy, but I could tell she was in a good mood. Odd, considering I'd almost died hours ago. It truly is some kind of miracle that I was able to survive, or at least according to Auguste it was. "If Miss Edelfelt had ran to your side even a few seconds later than she did, you would not still be here with us." Auguste's word echoed through my head while I absent mindedly listened to Luvia lecture me. Apparently magic can even be used to heal a broken body, and according to Auguste, she wasn't even proficient in healing magic. I can only imagine how adept someone who specializes in it would be.

I was going to wait until Luvia finally quit dogging me before asking any questions, but after a while I decided to just interrupt her. "So, Luvia, what exactly happened?" I could see irritation spread across her face.

"Oh, I'll tell you what happened! You used magic!" She started off speaking in a harsh tone, but it quickly devolved into giddiness, as did her expression.

"That… was magic?" I still remember it all so vividly. The pain, the power, the beauty.

"Well it wasn't quite magic, but it's close enough."

"What do you mean?" She looks at me with a confused expression and then gestures to Auguste who soon walks to her side, readying a chair for her to sit on next to the bed. I could tell a "lesson" was about to begin.

"First of all, let's start with what magic is. To be precise, what you did wasn't magic. What I have been showing you during your lessons is not magic either. We mages refer to what we perform as magecraft." She had only just started talking, but I was already having trouble following.

"So, you… _can't_ use magic?" She scratched her head and let out an exasperated sigh. When she went to speak again, her tone had become even more serious.

"I know you don't understand most of what I'm saying and you're having trouble making sense of it, but I need you to listen for now. You don't need to understand it all at this moment. All you need to do is listen and remember the words I'm about to say, understand?" I nod my head, deciding I shouldn't question her any further.

"Now then, the main difference between what magic is and what magecraft is, is the extent of what they can do. Magecraft is powerful and can be extremely useful, but it's final product can be achieved by any normal person given they have the right tools and put in enough time and effort. Magic, however, is different. In theory, it can accomplish things that no human, no matter how hard they try, can ever do without it. There are only a few types of true magic in this world and there are even fewer people in this world who can use those true magics. What I have been showing you all this time is magecraft." I listened carefully and during the brief pause, decided to quickly inquire about something.

"So can magic… is it used to hurt? And to destroy things?" All I could think about while she spoke was what I did last night. While it was awe-inspiring, it was also scary and destructive.

"Indeed. Magecraft has many applications, and destruction is no exception. Though, what you did last night was technically not magecraft. I had a good view of the torrent you shot off from outside the mansion, and I have a pretty good idea of what it was." I expectantly looked at her and waited to hear her tell me just what it was. "Magecraft is much more convoluted than just simply willing something to happen. It takes time. Time spent studying, memorizing, and applying the formula for a spell. This is all put into effect when the mage engages in the spellcasting. This is what gives form to the magecraft and brings it into its intended form in this world. And it is done by using the reserves of magical energy within the mage, which is then channeled through a mage's magic circuits. You, however, completely desecrated these rules." She looked at me expectantly, and so I feigned an ashamed face, even though I still had very little idea of what she was saying to me.

"What you did was not magecraft, and it wasn't magic. It was completely stupid and utterly barbaric. You attempted, and somehow succeeded, to take almost all of your magic energy reserves and force it through your magic circuits and out into the world as pure energy. I will admit at least some technique was involved, as you made your arm a focal point for the energy to be exerted from, instead of just releasing it around yourself, which would've torn your entire body to ribbons." What she just explained to me must've been very important, as she continued to simplify it after seeing I had no clue what she said.

She reached into her glass of iced tea and pulled out the straw so she could hold it between her fingers. "Imagine this straw is a magic circuit. You have many of these within your body, and until last night, they were all dormant. Now imagine this straw, which has never been used before and has never had any fluid run through it, trying to fit a baseball through it. That's not really the best analogy, but it should give you an idea of how severe what you tried to do was."

I understood slightly what she was trying to convey to me now. I did something that was unnatural. The way she explained it also made me think whatever happened to my body will leave behind permanent damage. "So, I ruined my magic circuits? I can't do magic again?" She groaned in frustration.

"First of all, for the last time, it's magecraft, not magic. Secondly, what you did wasn't magecraft in the first place. Luckily for you though, your magic circuits are not only undamaged, but they're running full throttle now. I can't even begin to fathom how they weren't completely demolished, but they're functioning just how I wanted them to. You see, the way I intended was to slowly get you to begin circulating magic through one naturally, on your own, but you exceeded my expectations and forced them all on at full force by yourself." I was getting tired of all these terms and explanations I couldn't understand, but I was aware she just praised me and I felt pretty ecstatic about it. "It's also worth noting that my hunch about you was correct. While you are horrible about applying your magic energy through spellcasting, your reserves of the energy itself are immense. Such a destructive exertion of force would not have been possible otherwise." More praise. I had begun losing interest in the conversation itself and was now just indulging in the compliments I was receiving.

She had explained a few more minor things to me after that and before we knew it, it was time for Auguste to prepare lunch. She rose to her feet from the chair to take her leave with him, but turned to me one last time. Her face held the serious expression she had when she first started explaining all of this to me. "One last thing, if you only remember one thing from what I explained to you, let it be this: what you did was impossible. Even though you managed to focus the explosion of energy you let off, you still should have had at least some of your magic circuits damaged beyond repair. But not only are they fine, none of them are hindered and they're all running like those of an experienced mage who has trained for years. Even your arm itself suffered minimal damage. In fact, the other one that you beat senselessly against the door is in far worse shape than it. I just want you to know that whatever happened to create this outcome was a miracle. In short, don't ever do it again."

She didn't even wait for me to respond. She just twirled on her heel and walked out the doorway, followed shortly behind by Auguste who closed the door behind him. I waited patiently for the familiar click of the door being locked while I stared at the roof, reflecting on the pile of information that was dropped on me. _Alright._ "I promise." I softly declared this to her, even though I knew she was long out of earshot by now. I was satisfied with that conversation. The horrible time that was yesterday seems just like it was a bad dream now… but I still had one thing left I had to know before things could continue being "normal."

Luvia returned to my room not too long after leaving, carrying with her a plate of mouth watering food. It occurs to me not only did I miss out on breakfast today, but I didn't get lunch or dinner yesterday, just some nasty tea and a few cookies. I wondered how I would eat it, given my arms were bandaged up by my sides, but the answer to that question didn't stay hidden long when Luvia started to spoon-feed me. It was embarrassing, but I was way too hungry to object.

After I had my fill, Luvia packed up the dish and utensils and started off on her way without really saying anything. But I wasn't waiting any longer to ask her. "Luvia." She stops and turns back giving me a smile.

"Yes? Is there something else you need?"

"Who am I?" She was clearly shocked by the question as her eyes widened and her hands holding the plate jolted slightly. Her reaction didn't hint at anything good.

"Why… you're my student. Following myself in the pursuit of magecraft. We endeavor to hone our skills and to"-

"But is that all? Is all I am 'a student'? Why is it I know the titles of the two I'm living with, but I don't even know my own?" Now she looked at me with genuine confusion.

"What do you mean by that?" I felt impatient and I roughly adjusted my body so that I could sit up to face her while I talk. I gritted my teeth through the pain and responded

"You. Are. Luvia Edelfelt. He. Is. Auguste. I know each of your names and the roles each of you play in your life, so why is it I don't know my own?" She stammered at my prodding questions, unable to form a coherent response. _Is this what it means to be childish? Are these questions further proof I am nowhere near as matured as Auguste or Luvia?_ _Can Luvia even answer these questions I'm asking? Does she even know the answers?_

She eventually gave up on trying to answer me and just joined me in sitting in silence. "Luvia… I don't know who I am. Maybe this is just how I am and how it's supposed to be, but it's stupid! I just want to know. You seem to know how old I am so don't you know anything else about me? I just want to be called something like you call him Auguste or how Auguste and I call you Luvia." I was rambling at this point, but it was frustrating. I couldn't understand what was going on. It felt like something huge was missing, but I didn't know what. I could feel myself getting emotional again and I probably would've began crying had Luvia not finally spoken up.

"Yes, of course… it's only natural you would want to know who you are. You do not have a proper "name" I'm afraid, but there is one you have the right to, if you so desire…" I did not know what she meant, all I could hear, all I could see, was a chance at being.

And then, I heard it before she even parted her lips to tell me my name. No. It's more like I saw it. Still no, I had seen it before. I had been seeing it for a while now. Then she told me what I already knew. Since I already knew, it came as no shock to me. "Your name… it is Emiya."


	3. Practicality of Talent

Life continued smoothly once all my questions had been satisfied. I wasn't able to return to progressing in my lessons because of my arms, so Luvia instead taught me about the history and branches of magecraft. I'd have preferred to still try applying my magic, but I didn't complain.

My lessons with Luvia started immediately after we had our breakfast and after that, we had lunch. After we ate our lunch, I was immediately handed over to Auguste who took care of my other lessons. Everything I had to know that was not of magic was taught to me by him. Mathematics, Science, Japanese, English, and Psychology were the main subjects he would prattle on to me about throughout our lessons.

My magic lessons with Luvia were boring, but Auguste's lessons were on an entirely different level. Not only was it so much harder to understand, but Auguste is a ruthless teacher. These "lessons" didn't even come about until after I set off that explosion from my room. The day after Luvia explained to me what I did, Auguste held a meeting with Luvia and myself, insisting I learn the other aspects to society other than magic. Luvia was strongly against it. She kept telling him that it would take away time that could've been spent learning magecraft and that there was no point in me learning anything else and, while I didn't quite understand why she was so against it, I very much didn't want to spend more time in the day with boring lessons.

Auguste didn't budge on the matter and Luvia gave up after a few days, but she made it clear to Auguste that what he's doing is "a mistake" and it will "be something they regret." I had been taught basic addition, numbers, and the alphabet by Luvia before, but she said so long as I could count and form a sentence, I didn't need anything else. Auguste, however, was teaching me things I had no clue even existed. I was having severe trouble following what he was teaching, especially in Japanese and Science, but one thing I was intrigued by was Math.

The concept of multiplication fascinated me and after only two lessons, I'd been able to multiply any numbers that I wished. I was so intrigued by it because I didn't understand how so much could be yielded from two smaller amounts. Auguste did well in explaining it to me, stating that the number remains constant and is put into multiple groups that, when added together, created the large outcome.

While I was able to take easily to the mathematics, it seemed I made almost no progress at all in regards to the other subjects, much to Auguste's disappointment. Nevertheless, the lessons continued, despite the knowledge remaining unabsorbed. Luvia and Auguste each teach me their own types of lessons, but whenever I'm alone, I partake in my own brand of lessons.

In the little downtime I have away from Luvia and Auguste, I make my way outside of the mansion and to the edge of the surrounding forest. The mansion is very large; approximately the size of 80 rooms matching the size of the one I'd lived in when I first arrived. There is one corner of the mansion facing the south that has no windows or doors, putting that piece of the property in a blind spot. That is where I engaged in my lessons. I would break a branch off one of the trees, or pick up a sturdy one from the forest floor, and mimic the technique of the men from my dreams. I had been clumsy at first, but it took little time for me to become accustomed to the swordplay. I couldn't gauge how closely I imitated their technique, given I'd been using sticks instead of actual blades, but I felt confident that I executed the same beautiful skill they had themselves.

 _Was I really doing something that would help? Luvia humored my talk of swords and the interest I'd shown in them, but she does so with almost everything I do or say. Maybe she considers swordsmanship "childish." Just like everything else I do…_ For some reason, being called childish, and being associated with it, really upsets me. From what I've gathered, it essentially means the same as "immature." It was confusing having so many words that meant the same thing. What is the point of "childish" if "immature" meant the same thing? Using what I retained from Auguste's lessons, I could understand immature, as its prefix basically means the opposite of what the word really means, but I didn't understand "childish" because its suffix indicates I'm like or of the noun that is the root word. I knew not what a child is. Regardless, If I was indeed older than Luvia, why did she say I was the immature one? _Auguste did mention once how independent and wise she was for her age. But he dotes on her all the time, so I don't know how much truth is in what he says._

I'm soon covered in sweat and breathing heavily from the exercise. I was more proficient in using my right hand for swordplay, but it was still not fully healed so I had to switch to using my left for the time being. Much to my pleasure, I had now become almost as good with my left as I was with my right. This is not to say, however, that my left arm was completely healed either. Every time I swung, the tender appendage beneath the bandages screamed out in pain, but I ignored those screams. I was too immersed in swinging the oak branch to even acknowledge the pain. I looked down at my left arm, covered in bandages that had become loose and begun to unravel. I had the urge to rip the bandages off and see my arm once more.

It was just as it looked the last time Auguste changed the bandages: rough and of a shade darker and fleshier than the rest of my body. Auguste explained the damage would be healed completely, but that I'd always carry the nasty scar with me. Luvia had said the damage was minor compared to my right hand, but it looked far more severe to me; the skin had been completely torn off the arm, after all. I found it unpleasant to look at the malformed skin that had finally covered my arm in a new layer. My fingernails had yet to even begin growing back in. It was unsightly, but I decided I would not wear bandages over it again. It had healed enough and, from what Auguste told me, it would not get any prettier any time soon, so I might as well get accustomed to the look of it. I looked up at the sky to notice it was becoming darker and I realized it'd soon be time for dinner.

I snuck back into my new room through the window after shimmying up the side of the house via the blanket rope ladder I had made, but when I reached the top I was greeted by Auguste who was holding the makeshift cloth ladder by his hand.

"So, young man, finally decided to return to your dwellings?" I stammered for a response while he looked down at me with an unreadable expression.

After a few moments, Auguste released his hold on the rope ladder and I went falling down to the ground from 3 stories up. I was prepared for the fall however, as my body was still limber and ready from the workout I went through just a little while ago. I landed on the palm of my left hand, but broke into a tumble before too much weight was put on it. After I had rolled away, I turned back to the window in a kneeling position to see Auguste jump from the window and follow me down to the ground. Unlike me though, he landed flat on his feet, and was not even phased by it. I could've sworn I felt the ground shake beneath me when he landed.

"So, you've been taking advantage of the generosity of Miss Luvia have you? Sneaking off during your independent study hours to play with sticks?" I had finally let my irritation run loose, as I stood to my feet, seeing red in my vision.

"I'm not playing around. I'm practicing my swordsmanship! How did you even know I was doing it? I was careful in picking out a place where I'd be out of the eyeshot of you and your stupid master!" His stoic expression faltered at my words and I could see he didn't like having his master insulted, but I didn't care. It's enough to have Luvia think I'm immature, but I'm not going to hear it from this butler too.

"We have security cameras set up all around the area, and I review all of the footage every night before I sleep. I have known about your _sword_ practice for a while now, but only chose to question you about it tonight. And don't fret, I have not told the Misses anything about how you've been spending your free time."

 _Cameras? Footage?_ I didn't know what these things were, but it didn't sound like I was in trouble. I loosened up a bit, thinking this was just going to end with him scolding me and telling me to not let it happen again, but.

"It's a waste of time. And regardless of what you think, it is a childish desire to want to wield a sword in battle." What? _What did he say?_

"What did you just say?" He gently adjusted his glasses and reached his hand inside his coat while he answered me.

"In these times, it is foolish to practice swordsmanship. A sword is useless against a mage, and it is even useless against a normal human. In this modern day," Auguste begins to retract his arm from his coat "one will fight with magic," in his hand was a slick, black, metallic object that was held by him as if it was crafted for that sole purpose "or one will use a firearm."

Auguste raised his arm at me, tightly grasping this "firearm" and then time around me seemed to lag a few seconds behind. He pulled his last finger to clasp around the grip of the device, which prompted it to come alive. Its entire body jerked and it spit out a quick gout of fire, from which emerged a small object flying at me quicker than anything I'd seen before. I wanted to reach out to it, but not only was I aware I could never hope to be quick enough to do so, but my body was frozen in place as the brass point came for me. Then I breathed in and time around me was perceived as normal, while the thing whizzed past my head, by only a few inches. Auguste cleared his throat and reached back into his coat to put away the smoking firearm.

"As I just demonstrated, this weapon will make you fall before you are even close enough to swing your blade."

I stood with shaky legs waiting for Auguste to continue.

"If you understand this, then cease your foolish pursuit of swordsmanship. It is not that I think it is a bad hobby, but we are on a tight schedule and I'd rather not have you waste what little self-study time you have."

He turned to go back to the house, but I called out to him: "Au-GUSTE!" My legs were not shaking out of fear, or in awe at his weapon, but of pure, burning anger. Why his words struck me in such a way is beyond me, but all I know is that I was rushing at him, fists ready. Without turning to face me, I heard him let out a barely audible sigh. I swung at him and my fist was greeted by nothing but air. He had dodged it so swiftly and had altered the stance which his body was in quicker than I could process. Then, I felt my breath get knocked completely out of my lungs. I looked down to see Auguste's elbow lodged in my abdomen. I fell to my knees choking and attempting to force air back into my body while he continued walking towards the house.

"I would advise you to refrain from fist fighting. As useless and ineffective as wielding a sword is, using your fists will prove even less effective."

I clenched my fist in anger and bit into my lip hard enough to draw blood, while breathing heavily through my flared nostrils. But I couldn't stand back up. He had humiliated me. As Auguste turned to cut the corner of the house and disappear for good, I heard him call back to me. "Master Emiya, since you are so insistent on fighting like a barbarian, I have made a decision. You will no longer have any time to yourself other than when you return to your chambers at night. That time will now be spent with me. If you want to fight so badly, then I'm at least going to ensure you can do so correctly."

I heard him chuckle gleefully as he walked around the corner, away from where I could see. Though he had walked away, he didn't cease talking and I could hear him say "prepare yourself, Emiya. Starting tomorrow, your first day in hell begins." I had no idea what hell was, but his tone didn't bode well.

It was out again now. The starry sky. I was sad to notice that the moon was not out tonight and wondered where it could have gone.

"How mysterious." I continued lying there and thought about the beating I just took. _How many more times am I going to go down with a single hit here?_ I decided that starting tomorrow, I was going to return the favor to Auguste for teaching me to fight. If he was going to give me "hell", then I'm going to give it right back to him.


	4. Hell's Prelude

The very next morning, I was awoken by a forceful strike to my jaw. I flew out of my bed and into the cobbled fireplace across the room while I yelped in shock and looked around to see what had attacked me. It was still dark, dawn had not even broken yet, but I'd figured out who assaulted me before my eyes had even adjusted to the pitch-black room. Through the smoky smell of the soot I'd been covered in, I picked up the scent of the familiar soap used only by the two men in this household and of the stupid moustache wax and aftershave used by only _one_ man in this household. He had kicked me across the face, indicated by his leg he still held in the air, as if admiring the fine distance that he sent me flying. "Good morning, master Emiya."

I followed Auguste down the hallway, guided only by his scent and the dim light being cast off by the candle he lit. "Why did you wake me up this early? It isn't even daytime yet…" Auguste slowed down while we passed Luvia's room, making sure we wouldn't disturb her sleep.

"We are beginning lessons, of course."

"Lessons!?" Lessons always started after breakfast which we ate around 8:00 am, but it wasn't even 6:00 yet.

"I see you are just as enthusiastic as I. I had not intended to start instructing you this early, but Miss Luvia informed me last night that your lessons with her today were cancelled, and so she handed you over to me, stating I should instruct you throughout the day in any way I see fit." I was disappointed to know I'd be spending the whole day in Auguste's hell camp, but I was even more disappointed to hear Luvia cancelled our lesson.

Auguste guided me down the stairs and led me through a corridor past the kitchen to the other wing of the ground floor. "Auguste do you uh, know why Luvia cancelled our lesson today?" I was perplexed as to why I was so bothered by her cancelling the lesson, especially because of how boring I consider them to be, but I couldn't get it off my mind.

"Of course. She told me that she would be entertaining a guest today and that she did not wish to be disturbed."

"Who's the guest?" I had asked the question before I'd even realized it.

"That, I do not know. If I had to assume, it is probably an affiliate from the Clock Tower." I didn't know what the Clock Tower was, and I didn't really care. I was just upset Luvia was spending time with some random person I didn't even know. _Why is this bothering me so much?_ I continued following Auguste while thinking about this person, what they were like, and who they were to Luvia.

I finally began paying attention to my surroundings and I noticed we were in a part of the mansion I'd never been in before. We were at the end of the hallway facing two double doors in a style different from all the others in this house. "What is this, Auguste?" Auguste answered me while he slid the two thin doors open.

"This is the dojo. It is where we will be undergoing your combat lessons from here on out."

"The 'dojo'?" Auguste walked to the other side of the room, across the padded mat, and flipped a switch that prompted the lights to illuminate the ornate room.

"I forgot you are not affiliated with the term. Remember this Japanese word, it is an important one. A dojo is where someone learns to fight or to simply exercise their body, and it is usually done under the guidance of a sensei." I stared at him in confusion. "…a teacher or a coach."

Auguste began removing his coat and while he did so, I took in my new surroundings. The room was very pretty and had strange illustrations all across the walls of things such as pink flowers, birds, and women wearing too much makeup with long, flowing dresses. The thing that caught my attention the most, however, was the arrangement of odd wooden swords on the rack of one of the walls. "Auguste, what are those?" He glanced in the direction I pointed while rolling up the sleeves of his white button-up shirt.

"They are shinai. They are essentially bamboo practice swords that are used to develop swordsmanship in a safer manner. There is even a whole sport revolved around them in Japan, complete with tournaments to assess the skills of competitors." I looked at the wooden tools in awe, imagining swordsmen competing with them to see whose skill is superior.

"I would advise you to stop ogling the practice swords, master Emiya." I turned to Auguste who was removing his gloves while staring me down across the room. "Or else you won't be ready." I saw his body shift as soon as he removed his other glove and by the time it had hit the floor, he'd begun dashing right for me. I anticipated the punch he was going to throw with his left hand and blocked accordingly, but as soon as I raised my arms the punch stopped dead still in the air and his right fist came in from below. I could hardly brace myself for the uppercut he delivered to my chest and was lifted off my feet, but my breath hadn't been knocked away this time. He pulled his punch. As my knees hit the ground and I clutched the fabric of the sooty clothes covering my chest, I heard Auguste talk down to me. "We will continue fighting until one of us completes our objective. If you manage to finish your task before breakfast, then I suppose you get to eat breakfast. If not, then we will continue straight on to your next lesson." I was confused by his words as I rose back up to my feet.

"W-what are our objectives?" Auguste entered his impenetrable stance once more as soon as I had gotten my bearings.

"If you manage to land a punch on me, I will end the lesson right there. However, if you are unable to land a blow, I will not cease fighting. That is, not until I beat every last speck of chimney dust off of your clothing…"

By the time the beatdown finally concluded, it was around 9:30 and I had collapsed on the floor from exhaustion. Needless to say, Auguste did indeed beat me like a dusty rug and I was unable to hit him even once. _So much for me giving him hell…_ Auguste returned to me after donning his coat once more and handed me a bottle of water. "I suppose, if anything, I should commend you on your durability. I must say, you don't break very easily." I didn't acknowledge him until I finished gulping down the water he had given me.

"Your compliments… for some reason *huff* they don't feel as good as Luvia's." He laughed a little at my comment and walked over to a cabinet and began pulling out a cloth along with some other supplies.

"I've decided I will have mercy on your first day. Go ahead and get a snack while I wipe down the dojo. I wouldn't want all of your soot and sweat to sit on the floor longer than necessary. I'd advise you to bathe as well during this time." I rose up to my feet and thanked him while he began scrubbing the floor, but quickly left before he decided to change his mind.

I entered the kitchen after limping down the hallway to the main wing of the mansion. I was pleasantly surprised to see what appeared to be a sandwich wrapped in foil, with a note on top. I instantly assumed it was mine, and decided I'd take it up to my room and eat it after I finished showering. I made my way to the foyer, up the stairs, and down to Auguste's bathroom, which he shares with me. I took my time doing so, checking all the places Luvia usually spends her time on my way. I realized I wasn't going to find her when I finally reached the bathroom, but I was also curious as to where she could be meeting with this person at. _I wonder if they can use magic too. What kind would they use? I bet they can shoot fire. I'd love to be able to throw fireballs._ I kept occupying my mind with thoughts about the mysterious guest while I waited for the water to heat up.

After the refreshing shower, I stepped out into the hallway, wrapped in my towel and holding my breakfast… lunch? _Brunch?_ Once I made it to my room, I closed the door and threw the towel onto the stone ledge of the chimney which it would dry on overnight after I lit the fireplace at dusk. I set my sandwich on the nightstand and opened the note to see what it read. "Emiya." _So it was my sandwich after all… Emiya._ I had been enjoying my name ever since Luvia informed me of it. It seemed so comfortable and fit so naturally, almost like the winter gloves Auguste tailored specifically for my hands. The name seemed so oddly familiar as though I truly was meant to be Emiya and it made me think about all the years of life I have no memory of, thinking that the familiarity I have with this name could indicate something from that time. But more than anything, the name felt powerful; almost as if just by saying it, I invoke something deadly within myself. I continued repeating my name to myself in my head while I ate my sandwich and stretched out my aching limbs. I looked down at my bed. _Mmmm I'd lie down, but I know the moment I start letting myself rest, it's going hurt ten times more when I get up to walk around again… Mm, this is a turkey sandwich._ I preferred turkey sandwiches over the rest, and I was delighted to see Luvia seemed to remember.

I'd finished my sandwich and begun assessing the damage in the body-length mirror mounted on the wall of my room. Auguste had, by some miracle, not put any bruises on me today, but the plate sized one on my mid-section that he left when he elbowed me yesterday still looked just as bad. _That mark looks angry…_ My eyes traveled up and down the mirror, analyzing all the components of my body. My body was toned and defined from what Auguste told me were "muscles." While they were odd looking, they were nowhere near as pronounced as Auguste's whose own made his body look like the rough surface of a walnut. Then my attention was once more drawn to my arms. I finally removed the plastic bag over my right one to protect the cast from getting wet in the shower and then I focused on my left one. While mine was far more noticeable, Auguste had many more scars than I across his body. Knowing how I got my own, I shivered to think of what caused his body to become so battered. I knew so much about Auguste's body because when I first arrived, he had to assist me in cleansing my body and he took the time to clean himself as well.

 _I wonder what Luvia looks like beneath her clothes…_ It was a thought that crossed my mind quite often. I had even asked Auguste once; it was during one of the last times he assisted me in bathing myself. I always have a hard time understanding what he says to me, but his explanation that time was the most confusing by far. He was very vague about it, but I understood that she doesn't have the long, dangling appendage between her legs that I do, nor does she have the sensitive sack beneath it. I wanted to know if her body was rough and muscular like ours, but the question really flustered Auguste and he explained to me that he wouldn't think so considering she was a girl, but he also had no clue. _From how soft her hands are when she grabs my wrist to take me to our lesson, I'd like to imagine the rest of her body is just as soft. I wonder what she's like down there though… Is it just smooth? How is she able to pee if not from a dangling bit?_ I was embarrassed to think about such things and it always made a weird sensation come over me when I delved too deep on the subject. The only thing I knew truly about Luvia is that I preferred her body to both Auguste's and my own, and the only thing I could discern for certain about her physiology is that her chest is far more plump and swollen than Auguste's and mine, as indicated from the tight fabric of her dress that struggles to stay constricted around it.

I greatly prefer remaining unclothed when I'm left to my own devices. I'd like to stay that way more often, but Auguste nearly beats me every time he happens upon my naked self in the morning. He says things such as "Why must you insist on remaining naked? Are you a wild animal?" and "If you keep sleeping in the nude, you will most certainly get sick! Put on some damn clothes!" and, most frequently, "Have you no shame?!" Something about clothes makes me feel restricted and I feel way more comfortable without them. And all the suits Auguste prepares for me take so long to put on and take off that I usually just wear my night garb when I leave my room for meals or lessons. Yes, that is how my mindset would be normally, were it just Auguste and myself, but Luvia changes things. While I don't care if Auguste saw me naked, the idea of Luvia seeing me in that state scares me and makes me feel embarrassed. For whatever reason that is, I do not know, but it must be awfully selfish of me to wish so badly to be able to see her without her clothes and yet not want her to see me without mine. _What a predicament…_

I started to get hopeful when another hour flew by and Auguste still had not come to get me. I even tucked myself into bed to try and get in a nap to make up for the sleep I missed this morning, but as soon as I began to drift off, Auguste opened my door and started yelling at me for eating in my room. After he smacked me upside the head and instructed me to put my clothes on, we headed to the makeshift classroom Auguste set up in his bedroom which he uses to teach me all my academic lessons. I'm, as usual, having trouble understanding the lessons and it doesn't help that I find none of it interesting.

My lessons today were in English and Japanese and once Auguste had finally finished the English lesson, I knew what was coming next. "Auguste, can we please skip the Japanese today? Even if you did go through with it, I can't focus at all right now and none of the info will stick." Auguste hummed while putting away the English book and replacing the vacant spot in his hand with the Japanese one from the shelf.

"Nonsense, it is important we maintain our schedule every day. You may think missing one little lesson today is not that big of a deal, but trust me when I tell you that the effects of it will be noticeable in the long run."

"It's not like I want to just slack off instead of listening to your lesson! I have other things I wanted to ask you about." He looked at me for a moment with his usual, unreadable expression and after the short pause he closed the book and placed it back on the shelf.

"I will satisfy all your questions, but just this one time. Since I am allowed tutelage over you for the entirety of today, I will make this exception." I was glad to be saved from the wrath of my Japanese lesson, but more than that, I was happy to have someone answer more of my questions.

"My first question is about the moon. I've been super interested in the sky at night for as long as I can remember, so I wanted to know why the moon is up there sometimes and other times it is not." Auguste smiled at the question and pulled out a pen and notepad from his pocket.

"I had forgotten that I don't cover astrology in the lessons I teach you. Remember this, Emiya, astrology is the study of the stars and is one of the oldest practices of mankind. Your specific question about the moon actually has its answer lying in the sun…" I listened with my full, undivided attention as Auguste explained to me how the moon's illumination was due to the sun and according to earth's rotation around the sun, only certain portions of the moon can be illuminated at any given time. Then I had Auguste explain to me what the earth was.

 _A giant ball filled with trees, more water than I could ever imagine, and tons of people just like me, Auguste, and even Luvia._

Auguste continued on, telling me about the other creatures who coexist with humans, like the fish who live in the sea, the birds who fly in the sky, and the dogs which are a favorite of humans and also make excellent companions, according to Auguste. Auguste drew a picture of each as he described it and the shapes and designs of these creatures were unlike anything I'd ever seen before.

I felt like Auguste was describing to me a fantasy. It seemed like something so mythical, something so much bigger than anything I could ever imagine. It reminded me of one of my dreams. Up until now, my world had been this mansion and the edge of the woods surrounding it. I had thought this world was big, but going by what Auguste just told me… _This world is bigger and more grand than anything I could have ever conceived._ Before we knew it, the time allotted for my lessons had long been over with and Auguste realized it was time for him to prepare dinner.

"I must go now, Master Emiya. Even if I could trust Miss Luvia to cook her own food, I wouldn't dare let our guest go without. And I'm sure you have gotten quite hungry as well." Auguste stood up from the edge of his bed he had been sitting on for the past while and made his way to the door.

"Auguste, wait please. I'm really grateful for all the stuff you just told me about, and I'm going to think about it for a long while, but I have one more question I'd like to ask you before dinner or any other lesson." He stopped with his hand on the door and turned back to me, giving me his full attention for a little while longer. "I want to know why I feel nothing when I stroll around naked and I don't care if you see me naked or when I see you naked, but when I think about Luvia without any clothes or about her seeing me naked, I can barely stand the thought of it and I start getting weird feelings."

Auguste made a weird noise as if he'd just choked on his own spit and then gave me a troubled expression. Or maybe it was the expression of someone who wanted to slug me across the face. _Maybe I said something about Luvia that was inappropriate…_ "I'm… n-not quite sure how to answer that master Emiya, I don't quite know what to say." _Once again, my question remains dodged… oh well, at least he isn't angry like I thought._ I let out a soft sigh of defeat and got up from my chair, prepared to leave and continue living in confusion about the subject, when Auguste put his hand on my shoulder, stopping me. "Wait a moment, I can't give you a definite answer to your question, but I can offer you a _potential_ one…" I looked up at him, puzzled by what he meant.

"I don't get it, but if you know why, I want to hear it."

He walked over to the glass doors which led to his balcony, "I do not _know_ why, I merely _believe_ why" and then gestured me out.

When I walked outside I was greeted by the beautiful sight of an orange sunset, which casted pink hues onto the clouds in the sky above. Auguste walked next to me and softly cleared his throat, gesturing for me to sit on one of the two patio chairs while he pulled out a book I'd never seen before from his coat. Once we were seated he began to open the book, but quickly shut it, before casting that troubled look from before in my direction. "As I said before, this may not be _the_ answer to your question, but it is a possible one. Are you still interested?" I nodded. "Very well, but what I'm about to confide in you with is my guilty pleasure. Miss Luvia knows not about it and I don't wish for her to ever find out. If I share this with you and she found out I did, it will be both of us getting in deep trouble, understand? So, can you keep a secret?" I was feeling less confident about hearing what he had to say, but I was even more curious now and I knew I could keep a secret, so I nodded my head once more. "Very well." And with that, Auguste opened the leather-bound book and flipped past the very first few of the many, many pages.

"The information I'm about to convey to you is of a world that exists outside of magecraft and magic. Not because it physically exists somewhere other than it, but because it is frowned upon by mages and condemned by them." Auguste stopped turning the pages after only having flipped between a few. "Here is one possible answer to the question you posed me, and it is the one I adhere by." I leaned in closer to Auguste, feeling as though if I missed what he said this time, I'd never get to hear it again. "Long, long ago, there existed nothing. There was but a vast space that never ended nor did it need to, as nothing would ever fill that void. Except for one being. This being is the primeval lifeform, one which people who follow his ways and doctrines in this current age refer to as 'God.' God existed alone in this space. No one knows how long God existed in this manner, or if time was even a concept that could determine such a thing, but what is known is that one day, God had enough. He wanted to create things to show His power, things that were beautiful and wonderful. So, He filled the dark void with everything He so desired. The entire universe was His canvas. He gave meaning to what the dark was and created its opposite of light and would refer to those two as 'night' and 'day.' Then, He created the sky, the land, the sea, the vegetation, and He hung the stars, the sun, and the moon in the sky, then He created fish, birds, and animals and then finally, man. He created man in his own image using nothing more than dirt and soon after, he created a partner for man using a rib from the man himself. God would call this partner the woman, and together, these two would make up the humans and were to be called Adam and Eve. These two humans were much different from the humans of our time today and one could even say they were on the brink of perfection. One day, however, the two made a grave mistake and, because of it, they were cursed and so were all their descendants from there on out. One of the many components of that curse was shame. And shame is what you feel when you think about Luvia seeing you naked. So, just like Adam and Eve, you will attempt to clothe yourself when in the presence of her because you are cursed with the impulse to do so. And so, that is the answer I have to offer you."

 _What._

"Wait w-w- Auguste what does- how does that- I- descendants? What are-" I could not make sense of what Auguste just told me no matter how hard I tried. I'd wanted to know why I didn't want Luvia to see me naked, but I never would've thought the answer could be so complicated and deep. Auguste closed the book and tucked it away, standing up while doing so.

"My apologies, I know you have many more questions, but I cannot dally any longer on preparing dinner. I will already be cutting it close as it is, so I must hurry. Do think on all of what I told you, though." And with that, Auguste guided me out of his room and hurried off to prepare dinner, leaving me standing in front of his door, dumbfounded.

I walked aimlessly down the halls and corridors of the mansion, thinking about what I'd just learned. _The stars, the moon, animals, humanity, the world, God…. This is all too much to take in._ I felt like ripping my hair out. This whole time I felt like I wanted, no needed, to know more, but it feels like the more I find out, the more that I need to know. _Auguste and Luvia… they're both so different. I'm learning so much from each of them, but what they teach is so odd and different from one another and what they teach seems to conflict._ I decided to stop thinking on it for now, telling myself that I wouldn't get anywhere thinking on my own and that I'd need Auguste to elaborate next time I see him. It was then that I realized I was lost.

This mansion is huge. It is so big, in fact, that if one were to delve too deep into unfamiliar parts of the mansion, they could very well become lost. Such is the case with myself now. I cursed myself. _It's been almost 5 months and I still don't know my way around this place? I'm so pathetic._ It was not all my fault, however, as the majority of the mansion was barred off and I was not allowed to go into those areas. I tried looking out a window to determine which side of the house I was on at least, but night had already fallen and I couldn't use the direction of the sun as my guide. _This sucks._ I had no choice but to try and retrace my steps, even though I had absolutely no idea of which branching hallway I'd come from. After walking for a little while, I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard voices.

I was alarmed at first, but only for a moment as I quickly determined the voice belonged to Luvia. She was talking to someone else in one of the rooms further down the hallway I'd been walking through. The voice was feminine. _Another girl? This must be the guest Auguste was talking about. So, Luvia took them somewhere this deep in the mansion?_ I didn't even realize I was walking closer and closer to the room, trying to get close enough to make out what they were saying. _Is it ok for me to listen in on what they're saying? Auguste said Luvia didn't want to be bothered and she obviously chose a spot somewhere in the house I didn't know about, but that just makes me want to know what they're talking about even more._

By the time I was only two rooms away from the one they were talking in, I could make out what they were saying, and I realized they weren't just talking, but arguing.

"Why would you ever think that's a good idea!?" The voice that belonged to the other woman.

"How many times are you going to ask that? To think we've been talking this long and you're still so hung up over that…" And that was Luvia.

"Because it's just so hard for me to fathom that you'd do something so stupid! All we need is for him to control his magic and gain access to _it_." It was obvious that whoever this girl is, she's upset with Luvia, but… _It? What is it? Who is he? What are they- who are they talking about?_

"I never said I thought it was smart, but what would you have me do? I have to meet him halfway on some things if I want to make any progress." I heard the girl groan in frustration.

"Meeting him halfway is one thing, but telling him _his name_ is something completely different. That will only complicate things and, if anything, slow the process." I realized something at that point. The two had been speaking in Japanese this whole time and I hadn't even noticed. I was shocked to realize I was keeping up with them far better than I ever have with Auguste, but I was still having trouble figuring out what they were talking about. _Something about their name and about a problem?_ I decided getting closer to hear them better would probably help me to understand what they were talking about, but that was a big mistake. "Luvia, do you feel that?" After I had only taken one step closer to the room, "There's a magical presence outside the room, right over there." I felt a jolt up my spine and my hair stand on end. I had a good idea of what the girl just said. _I think I'm busted._

"Wait, don't!"

"GANDR!"

A small, black orb busted through the wall and was driven straight into me.

I fell to one knee and let my weight lean against the wall. "AGHH! Ugh!" The bolt had hit me in my right shoulder, but only because my feet instinctively adjusted my body's position as soon as I heard Luvia scream out. If I hadn't moved, it would've went through somewhere in the center of my chest. My whole body was burning like it had been ignited and I could've sworn I heard whispers in my ears and saw visions rushing through my head. I dug my finger slightly into the wound the shot made and the pain helped me focus on where I was and what was happening. I looked down the hallway to see the door open and a woman I'd never seen before stepped out onto the velvet carpet of the hallway. She carelessly brushed her jet-black hair over her shoulder and stared into my eyes threateningly with her cold, blue irises.


	5. The Queen

I didn't think I'd be able to stand back up because of the relentless burning sensation and even if I did, this woman would probably just shoot me again. _I need to ready myself in case she decides to come at me._ I slowly raised my hand from where it was leaning against the wall and up to one of the mounted lights that dotted the sides of the hallway, giving me something I could lift myself up with if I need to fight.

"Jeez Luvia, you could've told me he was going to be in the area." The woman had turned away from me and back to the doorway to complain to Luvia more. This prompted her to rush out, while pushing her to the side and looking in my direction.

"He wasn't supposed to be! Even if he was, I didn't think you'd need to be told to not shoot at a random trace of magic!" She had already made it to my side and was looking me over to see where I got hit. The girl followed slowly behind her and looked at me with no remorse. Actually, I don't think she was even looking at me. It felt more like she stared straight through me and at the floor of the hallway.

Luvia finally helped me to my feet once she was sure I wasn't going to die and moved to start leading me off to what I assume was the direction of my room. She was stopped by the woman calling to her, without moving from where we had stood with her moments ago.

"That's pretty insensitive Luvia. You know the situation I'm in, so shooting at a potential threat should come off as being common sense." Luvia grunted in frustration and turned back to her, to which I turned around as well.

"I understand what situation you're in, but you won't convince me the thought it might've been him didn't at least cross your mind." The blue-eyed girl began walking to us once more, while flipping her hair over her shoulder again.

"That's not important. I'm not going to take any chances. He'll be fine either way, he's tough. Or did you not guess as much when you punched him down a flight of stairs?" I felt Luvia tense up next to me. The air was gaining a tinge of hostility.

Luvia didn't respond to the girl, but I wish she'd say something at least. I didn't like how rude and cold this girl was being, especially to me. Even so… while she had just shown no interest in me and was so rude, I was drawn to her. She was almost as beautiful, if not more so, than Luvia and she wore clothes that were much shorter and different than Luvia's dresses. I found myself fighting the impulse to run up and embrace her. _What a strange feeling… I can't understand why this mean girl is provoking such strange emotions in me. Maybe it's because this is the first girl other than Luvia I've ever seen._ I opened my mouth to say something, but Luvia finally spoke up right before I could. "If you're saying I should understand your reasoning, then you should definitely understand mine! We've already gotten past me striking him in the face regardless. It's water under the bridge!" The girl stopped walking a few feet away from us, probably feeling the aura of anger coming off of Luvia.

"Fair enough." She glanced down at my left arm after giving Luvia her uncaring response.

"My, that's unsightly. I know you said his arms got screwed up pretty badly, but I didn't think it was to this extent." I hid my arm behind my back feeling self-conscious after she said it was unsightly. "Though, it's no concern to me if it really did switch all his circuits on. In fact, maul yourself and wreck your body as much as you want so long as it keeps progressing your magus capabilities." Luvia moved to the side of the hall, taking me with her, before facing back to the girl with her angered look.

"I think it's time for you to go Rin." The girl, or Rin, looked at her in slight confusion before smiling and walking away. I look at her as she walks off, trying to find it within myself to get angered at her words, but instead it felt like they were crushing my heart.

"Rin…"

I only realized I said it out loud when she stopped dead in her tracks. Without even turning around, all she said was "You have a month left Luvia. For both of our sakes, you better not let me down."

Luvia stayed by my side in the hallway and didn't take a step until Rin had cleared out of the hall. We started to walk in the direction Rin had left in. While walking down the halls, Luvia didn't say anything and just led me on in silence. I wanted to ask her questions, but seeing as I just intruded on her private conversation and made the two get hostile, I didn't think I had the right to any questions.

Eventually, we made it back to the familiar halls that contained Auguste's bathroom and living quarters as well as my own bedroom. We eventually reach my bedroom, but Luvia keeps walking towards the foyer, passing it up. "Am I not going to my room?" Luvia kept walking while she answered.

"Not yet, no. We still haven't eaten dinner and there's something I'd like to discuss with all of us present." I instantly feared she was going to punish me for eavesdropping, but that fear dissipated when she stopped and turned to me with a smile. Then she just walks up to me and wraps her arms around me in a soft embrace. I stammer, unsure of what to do and feel my face heat up.

"L-Luvia what's wrong?" She didn't answer me and kept hugging me for a while longer. _Now that I thought about it, this is the first time I've ever been hugged._ I'd heard the term a few times in my readings with Auguste and he explained to me what it was, but I'd never experienced it nor seen it in person. After a while, I thought I might've heard Luvia sobbing and then I heard her lightly murmur "I'm sorry" into my shirt.

She released me from the embrace and began walking to the stairway at the end of the hall, turning away from me so quickly that I couldn't validate whether she was really crying or not. "Luvia? Are you…" She didn't turn when I called to her nor did she acknowledge it with words, so I silently followed behind her. Once we reached the top of the stairs, she began walking down, but I stopped at the top when I saw Rin at the bottom talking to Auguste. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but she didn't look happy, though I assumed that was normal for her. Luvia reached the bottom of the stairs and walked past them both, ignoring them, and through the foyer and into the dining room. Auguste bowed to Rin in farewell and hurried after Luvia. I watched him leave and when I turned back to Rin, she was staring right at me with her icy gaze. I wouldn't say her look was cold or uninterested like earlier, but it wasn't friendly. It was unreadable and troubled, much like Auguste's. She stared at me for a while longer before turning around and walking out the door.

As soon as the door closed, I rushed down the stairs and ran up to the small window in the door to peek out. I saw Rin entering the back door of a black cab and after she talked to the driver for a bit, the car starts up and drives off and into the beginning of the gravel road that leads out into the forest. I'd only seen one car before and that was Auguste's red, vintage car which he sometimes chauffeurs Luvia in when they leave the house to run errands. I kept watching the car until I could no longer make out the lights through the trees. It was then I heard the bickering coming from the dining room.

Luvia was in Auguste's face pointing at him while he stood there like a statue, undeterred by her anger. "For the last time Auguste, we are cancelling your lessons with him. We need any spare time we can manage to hone his magecraft." Auguste finally raised his hand and used it to lower Luvia's finger which she had been pointing at his face like a weapon.

"And this will be the last time I state it as well; you're not cancelling the lessons I have with him."

"He's not going to learn what he needs to in time! Even if we devoted every waking minute into teaching him about it from this point on, he still might not get where he needs to be in time!" Auguste's face began to show apparent discontent with the situation; a sight I had yet to see in the reserved old man.

"I understand that Miss Luvia, but he doesn't need to learn magecraft, what he needs to learn is balance. You're so focused on where he's going to be in a month, you can't see where he's going to be after that!" Auguste had even begun to raise his voice slightly. Luvia finally took a step back from Auguste, but she didn't lose her composure.

"Auguste! You're normally so loyal, but you're getting this passionate for someone you barely know? For someone you have nothing to do with? If you care that much about his balance and all of that nonsense, then worry about if and when he completes his purpose!" I was losing them at this point. The conversation was escalating too quickly and they were using words and referring to things I knew nothing about. I also took a step back, scared of how heated they were getting. Luvia still hadn't realized I was there, but Auguste glanced in my direction when I backed off slightly. He turned his attention back to Luvia.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe he needs something more to be able to do the daunting task you people expect of him? If you think magecraft alone will be able to complete that, then you're sorely mistaken." Auguste turned away from Luvia finally and began walking off, but he said one last thing while he did so. "And you say we barely know him, but I refuse to acknowledge that statement. We know more about that young man than anyone else. So, I will not agree with your opinion, because if it were the truth… that'd be far too tragic."

Auguste finally left the dining room, leaving only Luvia and myself. She stared after Auguste with her shocked expression and slowly dropped her gaze to the floor. I didn't know what to do. _Should I even do anything? I don't even understand what they were talking about other than it was all about me._ Luvia clutched the front of her dress in her hands and appeared as if she was trembling slightly. "I know that Auguste… you think I don't care about him? You say you know him, but you don't know what I know. I wouldn't be doing what I was doing if I didn't think it was the best option…" Luvia fell to her knees and I moved forward to go check on her, but stopped myself, hoping she would continue talking. _But why is she talking? Auguste has left. Is she talking to me? She has not noticed me so no, but why is it then that she talks to herself?_ "If he's going to survive what they're going to put him through… if he's going to have a future where all the things you've been teaching him can even be applied, he needs to become a mage. A mage stronger than we've ever seen…"

I decided to move forward finally and check on her. When I rested my hand on her shoulder, she looked over at me with teary eyes and weakly smiled. "Ah, Emiya, you're here. I'm sorry if you heard any of that rambling. Auguste and I were just discussing the future of your lessons." _Even now you're going to treat me like I'm too immature to see what was really happening? Then again, I suppose I don't exactly know what they were talking about, but I do know it's serious. And I know something's wrong._

"Of course, Luvia. I just saw you collapse, so I came to help you into a chair." _But I won't ask about it. Asking questions always gives you more to ask than you originally had. Besides, I could see it in both of their expressions, both of their voices; whatever is ahead, they both care about me and want me to be ok. I will place my trust in them._

Once I helped Luvia into one of the chairs at the table she looked up and down the table. "I'm sorry Emiya, but Auguste didn't set the table and I doubt he will be coming back to do so. Would you like me to go fix us a plate? I know you are hungry if all you had was that sandwich I fixed you." I nodded and she stood up to go into the kitchen, but stopped before doing so. "I'd also like to ask you for a favor Emiya. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to need all the time possible to teach you magic. That also means I need the time Auguste is taking up to teach you math and science and whatever else he's been instructing you on. However, nothing I say to him will change his mind about handing his teaching time over to me. He's being oddly stubborn about the situation. So, I'd like for you to tell him tomorrow that you no longer want to be taught by him." I was shocked by her words. It's true I didn't like Auguste's lessons all that much, but I still committed to being taught by him. Luvia continued, "All you need to do is tell him you overheard the whole conversation and you think it'd be best if you focused on your magic studies for now. You _will_ tell him this won't you?"

I was still having trouble making sense of the whole situation. I'd barely even understood the fact they were arguing about me taking Auguste's lessons earlier, so how should I know how to respond to her? _Is my only option to say "ok"?_ I thought about Auguste and how blunt he was about things and how he teaches me about all this stuff that seems outside the realm of magic. _It is true he's on a completely different spectrum than Luvia in what he teaches me. I agree with her totally when she says it gets in the way of my studies in magic._ I thought about Auguste when he discovered I'd been practicing my swordsmanship in the yard. _The jerk belittled me and then knocked me on the ground. Then he took away all of my free time and declared he was going to teach me himself, after saying it would be useless._ I thought about all of this while Luvia stared at me expectantly. _But then, why would Auguste so desperately defend to teach me something useless?_ And so, I gave her my answer.


	6. The Meaning of The Season

I couldn't sleep. I'd been lying in bed for hours now. After all the time I spent in this mansion, and all the sleepless nights I've had, I have become sensitive to how time passes by and I knew that soon, day would break. _Then another night with no rest will be added to the collection…_ I turned to my left side and stared into the fireplace that had stopped burning an hour or so ago. I could make out my white towel hanging on the stone ledge protruding from the chimney, catching the dim light from the starry night sky. _Was the choice I made the right one?_ In my head,I replayed the scene once more of what happened at the dinner table.

"No, Luvia." I couldn't look at her when I murmured the words out. She didn't say anything to me. I waited and waited for the words to come, but they never did. When I finally looked back at her face, she was just staring at me with a look of disappointment and defeat.

"Alright Emiya… I'll go get you your food. Once you're done eating, you better go to sleep. We have a lot of work tomorrow…" She walks away without waiting for me to respond and I stare at her, thinking of what to say, until she vanishes into the kitchen. _She didn't argue… She was so insistent earlier with Auguste, but the first time I said "no", she accepted it. Why?_ I couldn't understand what she was thinking, much less what I was thinking. _It almost feels like I wanted her to refuse me. To insist I quit no matter what._ But no. Luvia heard my answer, looked at me with eyes of regret, and walked off. Luvia walks through the double doors once again, almost as soon as she left, walks back over to where I'm standing, and places a bowl of cereal and a glass of water next to me on the table. She doesn't say anything, not even goodnight, before walking away towards the staircase in the foyer.

"Goodnight Luvia, I'll see you tomorrow morning!" I shout out to her, thinking if I said it any softer than a yell she wouldn't hear me, but it was pointless. The words bounced off of her and she kept walking, unfazed. _I thought… you were going to eat with me…_

After that, I ate my food, got ready for bed in the bathroom, and now here I lay in my chamber. I stand up from the bed, placing my feet on the cool, wooden floor. _Everything is so confusing… too confusing. How is it I've learned so much, but I still can't seem to understand where I am or what's happening to and around me? It's all so, so weird._ I walk to the window and open it so that I can lean my arms onto the windowsill and stare up at the stars. I try to count them, but give up almost instantly, remembering the sheer amount of them up there. I remember what Auguste told me yesterday. _A long time ago one man hung up all of those beautiful stars for the whole world to see, huh? How strong he must've been… I wonder if that man is still here today. If he's lived longer than everyone else, then he must be the wisest; maybe he knows my place._ I continue staring at the stars, finding myself pointing at them and tracing out the shapes they make with imaginary lines between them. _They're all so, so beautiful…_

Once the sky began to lighten into a dark blue from the dawn coming over the horizon, I withdrew back into the room, knowing the stars would soon be gone. I look around the room, expecting to see something, or someone, there, but there was no one, nothing. The mark on my shoulder burns still with the subsiding pain from that shot, so I remove my night shirt and look at the mark tentatively. The skin around the puncture wound was black, but not from being singed. Something about the magic she used was dark, and the small portion around my skin turned black almost as if it had been tainted, not burned. The wound was also not as deep as I originally thought, having only cut in less than a centimeter, but the effects of it were enough to be just as bad as being pierced all the way through. Though those effects are gone now, the shot made my whole body burn and the strength in my left arm and both my legs left me quickly, and I couldn't move my right arm, the one beneath the afflicted shoulder, at all. _That magic…_ I remembered it so clearly. When she used it, something lit up inside me. My feet moved because I heard the alertness in Luvia's voice, or so I thought. Deep down, I feel like I knew what the spell was; like I had seen it before. "A curse…" _Curse? Why do I know what that is…_ I look at my door on a whim.

"Gandr."

I had raised my scarred, left arm up to point at the wooden door and I stare down it in awe as I feel the magic energy naturally flow throughout my circuits to produce the small, black orb at the tip of my forefinger and I shoot it off with enough force to numb my finger.

I lower my arm and look down at my hand, flexing it twice to make sure it was ok. I was astonished to see it work, but the feeling only lasted for a moment. Before I even cast the spell, I felt as though I knew it would work. The hole it put in the door was not very pleasant to look at. Unlike Rin's, whose shot cleanly cut through the wall, leaving behind a perfectly circular hole, mine had shattered through and splintered the wood as it went. _Mine is nowhere near as refined, but that's ok._ I had no intention of ever using that spell again. As powerful and natural as it felt, it sickened me just to cast it and knowing that girl Rin uses it makes me even more hesitant to partake of it.

While I pondered the magic in the middle of my room, I heard a light cough on the other side of the door. I look at the door, slightly frightened, but was relieved to see Auguste slowly open it up. "Oh it's just you Auguste." Auguste takes a step or two into the room, his hand still on the handle of the door, and looks through the fist sized hole I made in the door. I notice the corner of his groomed mustache was obtuse and smoking and realized the shot had flown right past him. "Auguste I-" My apology was interrupted by Auguste laughing softly while poking his finger through the hole.

"At least this one is still mostly in one piece and remains hinged to the doorway. I take it you must have something against doors, master Emiya? Shall I put aside some funds for a curtain you can string up in the door's stead?" I look at him in slight confusion, but soon find myself laughing as well. Auguste joined me, letting out a hearty laugh, no longer restraining his voice. I look up at him, which prompts my laughter to stop immediately. _His face… he looks so happy. A term that seemed so empty and superficial for so long…_ It was painted so clearly across his face right now. Then I realized something myself; I had just truly laughed for the first time since I'd been here. I saw Luvia and Auguste laugh and chuckle before and mimicked them every now and then, but I never knew it wasn't a phrase or a response, but a reaction evoked from feeling something.

"Auguste… what you said, it was uh funny." Auguste's laughter died down and he stood up straight, clearing his throat.

"I would hope so. It was a joke, after all." Auguste turns and walks out of the room, upon which I follow him, thinking about his "joke." _Happy and funny? Two things I never thought Auguste of all people would show me…_

Auguste guided me down to the kitchen and began preparing breakfast. While I watched him dig through the fridge for ingredients, my gaze drifted across the many stovetops and counters and to one of the few windows in the room to see the sun's light beginning to shine through the trees of the forest. I realize this wasn't normal for Auguste and, just like yesterday, he had come to get me at around 6:00 once more. "Auguste, I just realized you came to pick me up really early again. I thought that was a one-time deal for yesterday?" Auguste retracted from the refrigerator, arms full of various ingredients, and kicked it shut with his foot.

"I came to get you to accompany me and assist me in making breakfast of course. Have you forgotten I told you you'd have no more time to spend by yourself?" Auguste sets down his armful of assorted ingredients and then starts to dig in one of the cabinets beneath the stove. _Luvia really wasn't lying when she said he wasn't budging on the whole lesson ordeal…_ Auguste rises up from the floor and shuts the cabinet and in his hand, he holds a frying pan. "I really must thank you though master Emiya. If you hadn't told miss Luvia you weren't going to stop your lessons with me, I actually was going to cancel them from this point on." I looked at Auguste in shock while he prepped the flames on the stovetop beneath the pan.

"Auguste, you heard me and Luvia's conversation?" Auguste reached over to grab an egg from the carton he pulled from the refrigerator and cracked it into the hot pan he just buttered while answering me.

"It wasn't intentional master Emiya, but I realized on my way out that I hadn't fixed you two your food. When I returned to start cooking, you two were already conversing and I unknowingly began eavesdropping. Once you refused to stop taking my lessons and Luvia went off to make you some food, I decided to just recede to my bedroom and act like I heard nothing." Auguste sprinkled a pinch of salt and pepper onto the egg he was cooking, filling the room with a delicious smell. "Though I guess I didn't feign ignorance very long, seeing as I just told you I overheard everything." _I can't believe Auguste listened to me tell Luvia that I wanted to keep taking his lessons. That would've been really bad if I had instead agreed to Luvia's plan while Auguste was listening in. It's even harder for me to believe Auguste was actually planning to cancel the lessons from now on had I not declared I wanted to keep taking them. Maybe it's because I decided to keep him as my teacher that he seemed so happy this morning…_ "Excuse me, master Emiya," Auguste snapped me out of my thoughts by calling out to me "I hate to interrupt your daydreaming, but I was serious when I said you were to help me prepare breakfast. Come here to me; you can stir up the batter for the pancakes while I prepare the eggs. We will be making a very hearty breakfast today, for it is a very important holiday." I stand up and walk over to the stove Auguste is standing over while thinking about the strange word he just used.

"What's a holiday?"

I lazily trace my finger along the rim of my glass, causing a high-pitched sound to be let off, while waiting for Auguste to finish cooking and for Luvia to come join me at the table for breakfast. Auguste made me leave the kitchen after I kept messing up while helping him cook. He was able to overlook me spilling the batter, using baking powder instead of flour, and sugar instead of salt, but he drew the line once I accidentally set his apron on fire. I stopped dragging my finger along the top of the glass and I rested my head next to my plate, impatiently waiting for one of the two to finish.

It was Luvia who beat Auguste, but only by a few minutes. She passed by me after I quickly sat up straight upon seeing her enter the room, said "good morning", and then sat in her seat across the table, placing her hands in her lap. I look over her face carefully while she sits with her eyes closed, humming softly, and a slight smile gracing her face. _There's not even a trace of sadness or frustration from yesterday. She gives off the impression of it not have even happening. In fact, she actually looks super happy._ I continue staring at her face, forgetting to even return the "good morning", until Auguste entered into the dining room with plates stacked atop his arms with far more balance than I could ever hope to achieve. "Good morning miss Luvia, I hope you slept well. I made sure to prepare all of your favorites this morning in honor of this special time of the year." Auguste set the array of dishes down in the middle of the table and poured each of us a cup of tea, much to my displeasure. "Oh and before I forget, merry Christmas miss Luvia." _Merry Christmas?_

"Oh yes, I suppose it is Christmas today isn't it? I hadn't even realized." Luvia brought the cup of tea to her mouth and took a little sip while Auguste took pieces of sausage, eggs, toast, and all the other assorted breakfast items to delicately arrange her plate with. _She doesn't seem to care very much about the merry Christmas for whatever reason. I suppose I'm the only one in the room who doesn't know what the merry Christmas is._ I decided to just play along for now and act like I knew what it was as I also took a tiny, **tiny** sip of my tea.

"Merry Christmases for you too Auguste, Luvia." Considering the strange looks they're giving me now, I'm going to assume I said that wrong.

Luvia finished breakfast quicker than normal this morning and stood up while firmly stating it was time for my magic lessons. "Oh, alright Luvia, I'll meet you up there in a minute, I just have to finish my- OUCH!" I'm interrupted by Luvia pinching my ear and tugging me upward from my chair.

"No, Emiya. I said we're going to do your magic lessons right now. If you want to keep doing your lessons with Auguste, then you're going to have to start giving me a little more attention too." I look at Auguste with pleading eyes, but he quickly averts his gaze as soon as I do.

"Very well miss Luvia, master Emiya. I shall clean the table and tidy up the kitchen while you do so." _You traitor._ I let Luvia guide me by my ear through the foyer, up the stairs, and to her lab.

I patiently wait for Luvia while sitting cross-legged on the floor where I usually do while she runs around and collects all the various tools, books, and other supplies for today's lesson. "So Luvia, what are we practicing in today's lesson?" Luvia grabs one last book from a shelf in the back of the room that she can barely reach and then makes her way back to me to start setting up the layout around me on the floor.

"We are going to make you successfully cast a spell today and we're not ending the lesson until you manage to do so." She pulled out a few vials with liquids of various colors inside them and shook and flicked them while she answered me.

"Is that all? Well I already cast one this morning so can we just take it easy and maybe let me go finish breakfast?" She absentmindedly flipped through the pages of a book while listening to me talk.

"Yes, yes, of course you casted a spell this morning, now I was thinking of starting with some of the more simple ones today to try and see- Wait! Did you just say you casted a spell this morning?!" I nodded my head slowly, wary of her sudden astonishment.

"Yes, I did. It was that curse the Rin girl shot me with last night. Gandr, she called it." Luvia continued to look at me in astonishment and her face looked as if she grew more and more surprised as I talked.

"You were able to tell it was a curse? Wait, you were able to cast it? How in the- There's no way you were able to cast Gandr after only seeing it in action once." I was a bit irritated she was having such a hard time believing me, but I would see to it that she eventually saw I was telling the truth one way or another.

"But I did! Sure, it wasn't as perfect as the one Rin shot, but I still did it." Luvia shook her head and returned to setting up the lesson for today.

"I'm sorry Emiya, but I don't believe you. If you really did cast it, then reproduce it for me. If you do that, I'll gladly end the lesson and spoon feed you your breakfast myself." I was tempted to do it, just so she would spoon feed me, but I couldn't.

"I can't do that Luvia. Whenever I casted it this morning, it made me feel sick to my stomach and on top of that, the Rin girl uses that spell herself and I didn't want to use any magic associated with her."

"Hey now, you know my magic is very similar to Rin's, right?" _I wasn't aware of that, no._

"Regardless, I did cast the spell this morning. If you need proof, go look at the hole in the door it made. Or even better, go ask Auguste. He saw me cast it." Luvia dropped the pouch she was holding and looked at me with anger written all over her face.

"You broke another door?! Did you not learn your lesson from the last time? I swear you… fine I'll believe you when you say you casted the spell; I don't need to go check the door or ask Auguste. However, if you're really unwilling to use the spell again, I'm going to have to disqualify it as a spell you learned." I sighed and looked at her with a bit of hope left in my eyes.

"But is the lesson still cancelled since I casted a spell?"

"No."

Instead of jumping straight into learning how to cast another spell, Luvia took a bit of time to explain to me the possible reasons I was able to cast Gandr and what Gandr was itself. "For starters, you didn't cast 'Gandr', you casted an advanced version of the curse we mages refer to as 'Gandr Shot'. Part of the reason I'm having such a hard time believing you actually replicated it is because you casted an advanced version of the curse itself that takes mages who decide to learn it a long time to accomplish. And only the best of those mages who learn it are able to shoot it with the force and precision of an actual gunshot. If you really did cast it and really were able to shoot it through your door, you either accomplished or came very close to that level of the Gandr Shot. So, basically, you broke the record of time spent learning a spell, having casted it after only seeing it once." _Big words. Again. Yay._

"I get the gist of what you're saying Luvia, I think, but how was I able to cast the spell? Just like you said, I only saw the spell once, but I was able to instantly use it." Luvia looks at me with an odd expression. I'd like to say she looked sad, but it was more than that. _Knowing? I feel as though that's the appropriate word._

"I'm… not sure Emiya. If I had to take a guess though, it might have something to do with your elemental affinity or even your origin…" She still looked troubled and while she was talking she had difficulty formulating her sentences, but I was intrigued by the terms she just used.

"My elemental affinity and my origin?" Bringing up the subjects seemed to brighten her up as she began eagerly explaining them to me.

"Yes, your elemental affinity and your origin. Your origin is basically who you are as a mage. It determines your being and dictates the way you will live your life. Your elemental affinity is very similar, but it isn't as embedded into your very being as is your origin. Normally, your elemental affinity will be of one or multiple of the five elements, but there are some cases where a mage's elemental affinity matches an 'element' not classified under the regular five. If a mage happens to have an origin that matches their elemental affinity, they can perform much better than a normal mage and can theoretically reach levels unable to be reached by those normal mages. So, my guess is that either your elemental affinity or your origin is closely related to the spell 'Gandr' so that just by simply seeing it… you can replicate the spell easily…" The certainty in Luvia's voice died out at the end of her explanation, but I had a better idea of why I was able to cast the spell.

"So, what is my origin and elemental affinity?" Luvia traced the spine of the book she was holding while thinking about the question I'd asked her.

"That… I don't know. I could take a few guesses, but knowing now wouldn't really help." That's a shame. _I really wanted to know what they were. They sound like important things._ "Hey, Emiya?"

"Yeah Luvia?" Luvia sets the book down and scoots a bit closer to me.

"I want you to try a certain type of magecraft for me. It's called projection."

We spent well over an hour practicing this "projection" magecraft, but I wasn't able to pull it off even once. I look down at the spoon, toy soldier, and various other objects Luvia had gathered for me to try to "project." The concept seemed simple enough after I'd tried a few times; essentially, you look at an object, get a good idea of its structure, then create a duplicate with magical energy. I look at the ornate pocket watch amongst the other objects and wrap my hand around it to inspect it more closely. After bringing it up to my face, I feel as though I can instantly see the entirety of what the watch is. _I will… trace the structure of this watch so I can be sure to make an exact copy._ I felt my magic energy flow through my left hand and into the watch and, in that moment, it felt almost as if it was a part of me. _I can see it. Through the glass, fitted with a bezel; the dial, its hands, the gears and the springs, everything. I see it all beautifully working together to make the watch tick._ But it ends there. Even though I can get a perfect picture of the object in my mind, I can't replicate it at all, much to Luvia's disappointment. "I'm sorry Luvia, but I can't do it. We've been trying for so long and I just can't. It's so weird, I can even see a clear blueprint of the objects themselves, I just can't recreate them." Luvia was looking slightly disheartened, but she suddenly perked up at something I said.

"Emiya, you said you can see the layout of what you're trying to project clearly in your head?" I nod and she responds by sighing in relief and placing a hand on her chest. "…So, he might still have access to it after all…" Luvia started thinking out loud and jumped slightly in surprise after realizing she was verbalizing those thoughts.

"I might have access to what?" She became flushed and started nervously looking around the room before rapidly picking up the assorted items on the floor in front of me.

"N-Nothing! I was just thinking you might still have a chance at learning projection is all! That is, if you're able to so clearly visualize it in your head."

"I don't think so Luvia… but why is it so important I learn this projection." Luvia stopped placing the objects back where she got them from around the room and faced me.

"It isn't important! Not at all, it's just a very useful type of magecraft so I was hoping you could at least learn the b-basics of it. A-Anyways, you did good today, so we can stop the lesson now." She stammered as she spoke, so I decided to drop it for now, thinking my questions were making her uncomfortable.

As I open the door to leave the lab room, I feel a slight tug on the back of my shirt. When I turn around, I see Luvia looking at me nervously with her other arm behind her back. "What is it Luvia? Is there something else?" Luvia shakes her head and then pulls her arm out from behind her back and sternly presents me with a small box wrapped in colorful paper.

"This is for you…" I slowly grab the package, wary of it being some kind of test and as soon as it's in my hand, Luvia retracts her arm and returns it behind her back while staring at me anxiously. I still don't understand why she's acting so weird, but I don't question it while carefully unraveling the paper wrapped around the small box. When the paper's all finally off, I look carefully at the white box and then look one last time at Luvia, who quickly averts her eyes from my gaze upon me doing so, before lifting the lid off the top. Inside the box is… _something beautiful._ The thing looked like it was made of the glass from the windows, but was so much prettier. I drop the glassy orb from the box and into my hand and stare in awe as it catches the light from the ceiling and refracts it throughout its mirrored insides. I roll it around in my hand. It fits perfectly in the middle of my palm and the rough, uneven edges feel nice against my skin.

"Luvia… what is this?" She looks at me in slight alarm, probably from thinking I didn't like it, but her expression changed when she noticed the wonder and awe strewn across my face.

"It's a diamond. I specialize in jewel magecraft just like Rin, so I have quite a few of them. I'm giving it to you as a little gift for being such a good student. I want you to start putting a little of your magical energy into it every day so that it will eventually accumulate into a fine gem that can produce a powerful spell." I vaguely heard what Luvia said while I continued to admire the gem. I rose my hand up to the ceiling and positioned the gem over the light to watch it brilliantly glisten. Luvia seemed surprised by how much I loved her gift. "You really needn't be so enamored with it. True, it is a diamond, but its cut is obtuse so it is of much less value than-"

"A star…" I had interrupted Luvia halfway through her rambling.

"Pardon me? Oh, are you referring to the jewel?" I lower the gem from the air and place it in my pocket before stepping up to Luvia and wrapping her in a hug. "E-Emiya what are you- It's not a star though, it's…" I hold her in the hug despite her stammering and her slight fidgeting.

"Thank you for giving me my own star." I was tearing up slightly which was the main reason I brought Luvia in for a hug; so that she wouldn't see my crying face. But she knew, of course.

"Of course, Emiya, it was my pleasure." She gently returned the hug while I tried to focus on not crying.

I exit into the hallway with one hand in my pocket, lightly rubbing my new prize. Luvia bids me farewell, saying she will see me at dinner, but I stop mid-step on my way to Auguste's room, remembering something. "Luvia, one more thing." Luvia sticks her head out of the doorway and into the hallway to see what I want.

"Yes Emiya?"

"Why did you give me such an amazing gift again?" Her face became flushed at the question and she nervously traced the doorknob with her finger while refraining from looking at me.

"I already told you, it's not that great. And I also said it was because you were being a good student." I take a step closer to her.

"But I thought you said I'd been wrecking the house and failing all my lessons up till now. Wouldn't that make me a bad student?" She receded slightly more into the room, her blush growing and her amber eyes looking anywhere else but at me.

"I-I mean you are still a good, obedient student despite that." She had almost walked completely back into the room at this point. "…and besides, it's C-Christmas after all…" _Oh yeah that Christmas thing. So, it must be customary to give others presents on this "holiday". Wait…_

"What? I thought you had told Auguste this morning you didn't even remember it was Christmas?" Upon me saying that, her eyes widened and her face turned from pink to bright red and she stood up straight in the doorway, stepping backwards while stammering.

"I-I-I. You, just- JUST GO TO YOUR LESSONS WITH AUGUSTE!" She slams the door in my face as soon as she's all the way back into her room and I jump back in shock.

"I-I'm sorry?" I quickly walk down the hallway towards Auguste's room after saying my apology. _I think my hunch was right this morning… She must really not like this "Christmas" for whatever reason…_

I stand outside of Auguste's room, staring at his door. I wanted to enter, but I was too preoccupied with my thoughts. I couldn't get Luvia off of my mind. _Is it weird I couldn't help but think how pretty she looked back when her face was getting all red and she was acting all funny? I don't know, but I'm happy that she seemed happy today. After last night, I wasn't sure how she was going to act from that point on, but things seem pretty good._ I'm not sure how long Auguste was standing in the doorway, staring at me, or when he even opened the door, but a prompt flick from him to my forehead broke me out of my thoughts. "Are you planning on staying out in the hall all day or are we going to get some work done?" I feel my face heat up in embarrassment as I follow Auguste into the room to begin the lessons he prepared for the day.

The lessons played out normally, like they always do. Auguste teaches me about a subject, I barely understand it, Auguste chastises me for not understanding it, and then we repeat that until it's time for dinner. _Wait a minute. I just realized Luvia worked me straight through lunch._ "Ughh I'm so hungry…" Auguste slaps my hand with his glove and I yelp, getting shaken back into reality.

"I swear master Emiya, if you spent half as much time applying yourself to your lessons as you did to thinking about food and the like, you would be making so much progress." Auguste doesn't sugar coat anything he says which is upsetting, but I suppose I like how a biproduct of that is how honest he is with me. "Oh yes, master Emiya, I have something for you. As upsetting as it is miss Luvia gave you hers before I could mine, here," Auguste pulls out a long box, wrapped just like Luvia's, from beneath his bed and hands it to me "this is for you. Merry Christmas." I look over the box, noting how much larger it was than Luvia's, but I don't open it immediately.

"Auguste?" Auguste hummed in response to me calling out to him while picking up all the random books, papers, and writing utensils we used during today's lesson. "What is the merry Christmas you guys keep talking about?" Auguste organized all the supplies into corresponding stacks while responding to me.

"I keep forgetting things such as that are all unheard of to you. I'll gladly tell you, but my answer will probably be different from the one Luvia would give you. I'll tell you if you'd like, but this is another one of those things you can't tell Luvia I told you about. Promise?" I nod my head.

"I promise, yes." He silently walks to the door and exits into the hallway, gesturing for me to follow. I adhere to his beckoning and follow him as he heads to, what I assume is, the kitchen.

"I will keep the explanation extra short this time, for I want dinner to be out and ready to help dissuade an argument like yesterday from breaking out again." We eventually reach the stairs and Auguste continues to explain as we descend. "Basically, do you remember the man, God, I told you about the other day?"

"Yes, I remember."

"Well, as time persisted, the humans He created became more and more twisted and fell away from His intentions more and more to the point where He eventually began losing hope in them. He even tested them once by flooding the earth to see how many would trust in His faith and survive, and only one man and his family were able to do so, along with the many other animals that lived on the earth. Well, the flood didn't do much to bring people back to God and eventually man started to break away again. God decided he would need a living example on earth to teach people about Him and show them the way, so He sent His son, Jesus. Christmas is to celebrate the day he was born, his birthday. The meaning of it has altered and changed over time, but that was the original reason for the holiday." I was confused by almost 99% of what he said, so I decided to only question him on one thing.

"Birthday?" Auguste donned his troubled face and stroked his uneven mustache while I waited for him to answer.

"It's another, uh, holiday. It is meant to celebrate the day one is brought into this world. Now, I really must go prepare dinner. We can dedicate a lesson this week solely to talking further about the topic, but for now, go open your present. I will call for you and miss Luvia when it is time to eat." I watch Auguste hurry to the kitchen until he disappears through the dining room, leaving me alone in the foyer. _A birthday…_ I open the gift Auguste gave me, not being extra careful like last time now that I know the true intention of the package, pull it out of the box, and soon find in my hand something semi-heavy wrapped with long, cloth bandages. I unravel the bandages that were much like the ones I wore around my left arm to reveal a blade. _Auguste… you sure are hypocritical if you're giving me such a "useless" gift._ I wouldn't say it was a sword, because it was way too short to fit the bill. The overall length of it was about from the tips of my fingers to the base of my wrist. The blade was sharp on one side and dull and flat on the other, save for a few pointed ridges near the tip that were each as sharp as the other side. In all my dreams I'd never seen a blade like it; it curved on the sharp side instead of the flat backside, making it almost form into a slight hook. After fidgeting with it for a while, I was surprised to see it could fold in on itself and retract back out. I wrapped the bandages partially around the blade so as not to cut myself and made my way outside to my training spot.

I ready the blade once I reach the edge of the forest and let the bandages unravel and drape onto the ground. _It's much shorter and lighter than the branches I practice with, but it shouldn't prove a problem._ I was about to start swinging like crazy as I always do, but I remembered what Auguste told me earlier. _It's someone else's birthday today and yet I'm the one who got all these presents… I didn't even get Auguste or Luvia anything._ As eager as I was to be able to finally swing a real sword, I refrained from doing so and began searching the leafy floor of the woods for something specific.

While we sat at the table eating dinner, I patiently waited for Auguste to come pour me some more water. He had been too preoccupied for the past while discussing with Luvia their plans to go to town soon because they needed to go take care of some errands or something like that, but he finally looks up from the conversation to see me patiently waiting for some more water. He walks over to me, pitcher in hand, and when he finally reaches me and begins pouring the water, I lightly tug on his coat tail to get his attention. He looks down at my hand first and then leans down to where he was sure only I could heart his whisper. "Yes? What is it master Emiya?" I hold my hand out to him and gesture for him to take what I'm holding. He looks once more at Luvia to make sure she wasn't watching us, but quickly took what I was holding when he saw she was preoccupied writing something down in a journal. He opened his hand and looked down in it to see what I made earlier. "What is this, master Emiya?" When I was out in the woods, I looked around until I found a fallen pine tree and I hacked into it until I reached a pine knot and then I carved it out. From it, I made a replica of the toy soldier Luvia had amongst the objects in her lab earlier. _I may not be able to project those things, but with that blade I can carve an almost perfect replica of them out of wood._ It was rough on the edges and wasn't painted or glossy like the other wooden soldier, but it looked almost identical in shape.

"I remember you told me today was that Jesus man's birthday. I thought it was weird I was getting all these presents even though it was his birthday, so I spent my free time making it. Can you give it to him? And tell him I said merry birthday." Auguste stood unmoving for quite a while, which confused me greatly, and eventually Luvia called out to him.

"Auguste, is something wrong? You've been leering over Emiya for quite a while now." He regained his composure and placed the pitcher next to my plate on the table.

"Of course, miss Luvia, I was just reinstructing him on the proper use of his spoons and forks. I noticed he was having some trouble." Luvia believed him and turned back to her writing. Auguste turned to me and quietly whispered "thank you master Emiya, I will be sure He gets it" while giving me a warm smile. When he walked away, I pondered why he was faking a smile at the end. _I've been noticing it for a while… The two in this house convey emotions to me they don't really mean sometimes, and I have no idea why_. It has been going over my head all this time, but I started to pick up on little things that indicated this to me. Like just now. Though his smile looked completely genuine, I saw in Auguste's eyes through his thick glasses, a look of sadness. No, it was pity.

I go back to eating my food, deciding I wouldn't let them know I was catching on to their frequent feigning of emotions. _I've decided the answers they refuse to give me, the questions that they dodge, they won't ever answer._ I take a bite of the braised beef. _So, I'll find the answers myself. And I must do so soon…_

That night, while I slept, I didn't dream of swords. I instead had a dream of a man trapped in a cage. But this cage was huge, and the door was wide open. The cage wasn't what trapped him obviously, it was a single chain attached to him and at the very end of the chain, the final chain link held within it all the nerves of the man, so that if he moved even slightly, his entire body would be wracked with pain. This man had only one eye and he was truly a sad, despicable sight to look at. The man who appeared to be the embodiment of nothing looked at me with his single eye and laughed at me. And then he spoke.

"What a sight… you're going to have to start doing better than that, or else you'll die. You'll die, Auguste will die, and Luvia, everyone will die. Prove you're more than a waste of time and space and learn. Whether you live or die isn't necessarily important, but there are some people who're actually important that are banking on your success. Don't fail them." Having such an empty, unflashy husk talk down to me seemed so backwards and out of place and yet there I was in the scape of my dream, on my knees, listening to everything he told me, taking it all to heart.

* * *

Hey guys, I wanted to make this chapter a bit longer than normal cause it's Christmas today so yeah I did that. I also made the story of it seem fitting for the holiday. I hope you all have a merry Christmas!


	7. The King

I try to pick my head up, but fail. All I can do in this dream is kneel before the talking husk and glare up at him in the edge of my vision from my bowed head. I hear him laugh once more. "Try as you might, but this dream isn't yours alone. I'd say given our current positions, I'm much more the ruler of this dream compared to yourself." _What right does this man have over me? Is it because of power he can make me fall to my knees? No, he is completely empty, without a trace of hostility nor danger in him. It's more like this is natural, this is how I should comply to a being such as him._

"I usually dream of more pleasant things than something like you… and as for the deaths you were predicting, I'm sorry to tell you that you're very wrong. One must kill for someone else to die, and I know of no one trying to kill us." I had forgotten I know what it is to kill for some reason. _I know of how to kill, how to end something yet I knew not about birth, about creation?_

"Yes, of course you know how to kill, it's only natural." The man across the room had read my thoughts. "It's interesting how you know what killing means, to end a life, make that person cease their existence, but you still can't follow a conversation and understand what a birthday is!" The husk laughed and laughed at his own "joke", or at least I assume that's what it was, and I listened bitterly, without saying anything, until he finally calmed down. "But that's exactly how it should be. You don't need to know what a birthday is, and you don't need to know how to articulate your thoughts. 'Killing' was imbedded in your nature, preordained. So, get past whatever road block you're stuck on and become the great mage you were created to be. The things Auguste preaches to you, the academics he teaches you, cease them. You just need power and you need a lot of it." I struggle to lift my head and yell at the rude creature, but to no avail. He seems to notice my intentions and quietly states "lift your head" upon which the weight on my neck was removed and I finally found myself staring straight into his one, glowing eye.

"I don't know who you are, but I wasn't created to be a great mage! The only thing preordained about myself is that I am to be a swordsman. The greatest to ever live!" The man gasps and leans in, putting extra emphasis on sarcasm.

"Yes, yes, sure you are. Being a swordsman is indeed in your near future, very near in fact, but I implore you to remember this: **you are just a stepping stone. The only thing you 'will be' is the means to someone else's success.** " His words resonated within me. I felt my whole body shaking and, even in this dream world, it felt so horrifyingly real. Those words resounded in my head, repeating over and over again, tormenting me. "Now then," upon him speaking once more the echoes stopped, but the feeling of terror persisted "I want to show you a little something…"

My vision blurs. No, it's not my vision, but the entire image of the dream. It's melting away and reforming into something different. Once the separated dream reforms, I find myself in a small room, filled with random metallic objects and with one, big door open and revealing the outside yard. Not too far away in the yard, I see a large house in a style very different from the mansion I live in with Luvia and Auguste, but somewhat similar to the style of the dojo Auguste trains me in. I'm on the floor of the small building I'm in, sitting cross-legged as I do on the floor during my lessons with Luvia. I sit on a thin cloth which has other random, odd metallic objects littered around on top of it. "Now then, trace on." The voice of the husk was now within my head and upon his words I mouthed "trace on" as well, and in my hands appeared paired curved swords. One black with a hexagonal pattern and the other silver as the utensils I eat my food with. "This is how you project. It's very important you remember what you just did." The husk continued to ramble in my head, talking about things he knew nothing of.

"I know what projecting is you idiot, I learned all the ins and outs of it during my lesson today. I may do it here in my dreams, but I can't do it, no matter how well I understand it, in reality." _It's a shame too. These two swords in my hands are magnificent and oddly familiar. If I'm not mistaken, I've seen them used by one of the swordsman in my dreams before._ I heard the voice pick up in my head again.

"Dreams?... Never mind, and as for the projection, it's odd you're being barred from using it. It should come completely natural to you…" I hear him talk in my head while I admire the two swords I projected and memorized the look and feel of them within my head. That is, until they dissipated in my hands, sadly. "We're going to try this instead." I hear the voice perk up again. "Grab that muffler right there." My hand reaches down to one of the strange metal objects and pulls it up to my other hand so that I can hold it with both. "It's not good if you can't accomplish Projection, but we're going to have to keep trying. We'll start by breaking it down even further and take it step-by-step." I'm getting agitated from all these commands and his lack of regard for me telling him I can't do it, but I listen anyways. "Alright here we go, trace on." I once again mouth out, what I assume is, an evocation; "trace on". A new experience occurs of which I hadn't happen to me before. I analyze the structure of the "muffler" just as I did with the objects in Luvia's lab earlier, but instead of the magic energy flow hitting the Projection road block as it did then, it instead branches around it and further improves upon the structure of the already existing object. "Perfect…" I hear the voice whisper inside my head. When I open my eyes, I see the result of my "tracing." The muffler had a linear, jagged pattern running up, down, and all over it, glowing brilliantly blue with sparks of magical energy frequently running atop it. Though it appeared to have only changed aesthetically, I could tell the muffler's durability had increased substantially. "This is called 'Reinforcement'. You can think of it as the baby step to Projection. Practice this until you can project something. Now, bye." As soon as he said that word, the dream didn't melt away, but instead abruptly shattered, and I opened my eyes in bewilderment from what I just witnessed just in time to be splashed in the face with cold water.

"Ubugh- JIYEHHH?! PFFT!" I stammered and spit while writhing in my bed, unsure of what just happened. I finally look around, through my wet, matted bangs to see Auguste standing, slightly chuckling, next to my bed.

"Morning, master Emiya. I see you finally decided to wake up. Iced water always does seem to do the trick." I swept my bangs back and wiped the water out of my eyes.

"I was already up! You just splashed ice-cold water directly onto my eyes! Why cold water?! Couldn't you have just woken me normally?" Auguste stopped chuckling and handed me his hand towel while he answered.

"I did try, actually. As a matter of fact, I've been trying for the past thirty minutes. No matter what, you wouldn't seem to wake up." _30 minutes? He tried for that long and couldn't get me up?_ "In fact, breakfast will be running a tad late thanks to you. I hope miss Luvia doesn't take too poorly to that…" He leaves me with that last comment, made in bad taste, while I get up from the bed and run around my room looking for some dry, clean clothes to wear. I continue wiping my face with the towel Auguste lent me while thinking about my apparent inability to wake up. _I guess whatever that dream was, the creature in there kept me there until I was 'allowed' to leave. I suppose that man must be my subconscious self, trying to tell me something. Man… my subconscious is a jerk._

Breakfast goes by silently, the only noise being Luvia and Auguste frequently talking about the plans for the next month. I pretend to not eavesdrop on what they say, but it wouldn't matter regardless as the only clear part of their conversation I understood was about Luvia having to go to town tomorrow for groceries and other random tasks. I silently eat breakfast until I see Luvia rise and begin walking to the foyer. I don't wait for her to drag me away by the ear and instead shovel down my last two pieces of bacon and bites of porridge before standing up and following shortly behind her. She turns to see me following and smiles, displaying her delight at my promptness.

After we arrive in the lab and Luvia shuts the door, I remembered my subconscious teaching me about the strengthening magecraft and I pull out my short blade Auguste gave me as a Christmas present. I note that it's a bit longer than the one Auguste uses to prep the meat for our meals with while I unfold it. Luvia turns around to see me holding the blade and yelps a bit in surprise right as I start to reinforce it. _Here we go…_ "Is that a knife?!" I don't even hear Luvia's shocked comment while I immerse myself into the strengthening of the blade. _I see it. The inside, outside, the entire makeup of this blade. Identify basic structure, singling out components of structure, estimating the unknowns- THERE!_ The jagged pattern graces the blade once more, even more vibrant than in my dream.

"Ugh…" I groaned from the indescribable feeling of having my magic energy once again transforming into a spell, but unlike the time casting Rin's spell, this felt not only more natural, but invigorating. Sparks of magic energy weren't frequently coursing across the surface of the blade as they were in my dream, but instead running all over it and branching off and onto my arm and the knob of the door, anything that it could conduct onto. It was so much more violent and intense than in my dream. I look up from the luminescent, sparking blade to see Luvia also staring at it in astonishment.

"Reinforcement… I've never seen such a powerful portrayal of it…" Her compliment excited me, and I decided to continue displaying my coolness by dispersing the spell, letting the blade lose its glow and enhanced attributes. I smoothly flick it closed and drop it back into my pocket before looking at her with a smug grin. Then she promptly walks up to me and smacks me on the forehead.

"Where'd you get that knife?! How long have you been able to reinforce?! How can you reinforce to such an intense degree?!" She kept lightly punching me on my head and my chest while hitting me with a barrage of questions.

"F-From Auguste! He gave it to me for Christmas. And as for the strengthening, I only figured out how to do it last night!" Luvia stopped hitting me and turned around stomping over to her supplies atop her old, wooden desk.

"I see! Yes, yes, it's good you're making progress. And I hope you enjoy the present _Auguste_ gave you." _I don't understand why she's so upset…_

"What's wrong Luvia?" She flopped down onto her leather-clad office chair and rolled up to the desk, placing her right elbow on it and resting her chin onto the corresponding hand.

"Nothing. Nothing at all! I just think it's amazingly convenient that you make more progress as a mage on your own than you do in your lessons with me. And it's just grand that you're getting so buddy-buddy with Auguste as of late. Maybe he should teach you magic?" _Did I… do something wrong?_

"Yeah, I guess it is great I'm becoming friends with Auguste, and yeah, I did like the present he gave me, but it's nothing compared to the one you gave me. It's way too short for my liking and it's nowhere near as pretty as yours." Luvia turned her head slightly away from my direction, just to the point where I couldn't see her face.

"Is that so?" I scratch the back of my head, thinking of how to word my response.

"I mean, yeah. Besides, I want to be on good terms with Auguste, but not as much as I do with you. I appreciate all he's taught me, but he's no fun most of the time, and he's always so strict… and boring. Plus, I don't enjoy staring at his face and body anywhere near as much as I do you; and he's not always on my mind like y-" Luvia jumped up from her chair and frantically ran over to me near the end of my explanation and started rapidly hitting me on the chest again with her soft punches while having her face painted a bright hue of red.

"Ok! OK! That's enough Emiya, you don't have to say anymore! I'm sorry I was acting so childish!" She walks away, and I lightly rub my chest, still wondering about her odd reaction. "Just take a seat and we'll begin our lesson in a moment…" I sat down in my usual spot and watched Luvia standing with her hand on her chest, fanning her flushed face. _So, this time she's the childish one? I suppose I can claim this as a small victory._ I chuckled slightly at the thought while Luvia regained her bearings.

"Now then, Emiya, let's first talk about your strengthening magic. Do you know what it is?" I nod.

"Somewhat. It's magecraft that reinforces something to make it stronger and more durable, right? Projection is also like a more advanced version of it." She looked at me in slight confusion.

"Yes, that's almost exactly right. I'm not sure how you know so much about it, but that's correct. Your Reinforcement just now, specifically, was very advanced. Reinforcement in and of itself is very simple to accomplish, but what's difficult is the ability to be proficient in it. By this, I mean that when you strengthen something, you have to be careful to reinforce the properties of it while also making sure to not try to overload it with energy to the point where the object breaks. It's because of this required balance that, while mages can use the magecraft to significantly strengthen something, it can only be increased so much before the object becomes unstable or just simply breaks. From what I just witnessed now though, you strengthened that blade to a degree far beyond that of a master in reinforcement." I was confused, as always, and it didn't take Luvia long to see this and break it down further so I could understand. "Let me describe it this way: when you cast Reinforcement magic, you are trying to add something to an object that is already complete. Because of this, the object will usually reject it. In theory, it should be impossible to reinforce something beyond a few notches than what most normal mages can accomplish, and that's only if you're a mage who excels in Reinforcement. You would need an incredibly good idea of the entire makeup of the item to be able to reinforce it to such an intense degree as you just did." I understood what she was saying now.

"So basically, another miracle?" She looked slightly agitated from how aloof I was about it, but she nodded.

"Yes, you _could_ say it is a miracle you were able to cast _another_ spell so seamlessly." I laugh warily at her joke, I think it was a joke, while my mind begins wandering back to the man in my dream. "Normally, I'd say practicing Reinforcement would be a waste of time, but if he's on the verge of an almighty Reinforcement… not to mention it could lead into him being able to Project…" Luvia said several things while accidentally thinking out loud that sounded interesting, but I was too busy focusing on the man from the dream. _Even now… I feel like I can see him. Or more like, he can see me._

"Well then, now that we're done discussing the miracle of you learning Reinforcement and casting it as a beginner without even having to use an incantation I think we need to-"

"Incantation? Oh, I have one, 'trace on', but I don't like the extra step, so I just skip it." Luvia looks at me dumbfounded.

"T-Trace on? I see… and you just skip the incantation?" I feel as though I might've said something I shouldn't have. Luvia's face looked dumbstruck at my mentioning of the evocation.

"Luvia?" Me calling out to her snaps her out of her daze.

"Huh? Oh, it's nothing. Now, if you're done interrupting me, I shall continue. Let me just mention, you should keep in mind that when it comes to Reinforcement, you don't just use it on weapons to make them stronger or more durable, you can use it on almost anything to increase the aspects of it. Like your sight, taste, or how bright a lightbulb is. You should practice a bit in those areas sometime. Now, I won't let my student excel in magecraft any further on his own than he does with me." Luvia pulls out a box that looks as though it was prepared right before the lesson from the drawer of her desk and brings it back over to where we're sitting.

"What do you mean Luvia?" She begins pulling out the contents while she answers.

"We're going to find out your elemental affinity."

After trying out all the different tests she prepared to see what element I was most inclined towards, I found that it was none of them. That is, until she pulled a match from the box. "Lastly, let's try fire." _Fire._ I'd seen Luvia demonstrate it once before and ever since then, I'd been enamored with fire. It didn't intrigue me anywhere near as much as swords, but it was beautiful just like them and it gave off the same deadliness at the same time. Luvia lights the match and brings it towards me. "Here Emiya, take it." I lightly grab the match between my forefinger and thumb and bring it close to my face, to the point where I can feel the heat. "Try to feel the flame, Emiya. See if you can inject your magic into it and move it." I do just as she says and, almost as if it's natural, the flame flickers to the direction I want. I push it even further, and the flame is soon standing completely straight to the left of the match stick. "Now Emiya, see if you can take the reins of the flame and control it. Feed it fuel from your magic energy, not from the wood of the match stick." Now, instead of pushing magic into it to manipulate it, I offer it to the flame, upon which it grows. I keep the light stream of energy into it constant and soon I once again manipulate it to crawl from the stick and onto the tip of my finger. There the flame sticks, remaining ablaze, while I continue to feed it magic energy. "Congratulations Emiya. It looks like you're a fire mage."

I tentatively try to move the flame around my finger like a string winding down a rod and then after I become accustomed to it, I make it rapidly dance around my hand. I make it shrink, I make it grow, I extinguish it, I reignite it, I let the fire flow from and around me as if it was an extension of myself. "EMIYA!" I lose the flame and watch it flicker out after my thoughts were disrupted by Luvia screaming at me. "If you want to show off how good you are with fire now too, that's fine, but do it somewhere like, I don't know, OUTSIDE before you burn down the house!" I sit back down after the weird mixture of pride from her saying I was good with fire and shame from being chastised washes over me.

"I'm sorry…"

"Alright, compared to how we've been progressing up until now, I'd say we've made huge strides. Now, a few more things before we break for lunch; gem magecraft can prove very useful when combined with fire, as it can contain pre-loaded spells within the gems, eliminating the need for incantations or spellcasting, something I'm sure you can appreciate." I nod quickly, eager to learn any shortcuts when it comes to magic. Luvia sighs at my enthusiasm in her suggestion. "Yeah, I figured as much. In that case, we might want to transition into teaching you how to use gem magecraft efficiently. That brings up my next point; the diamond. Have you started putting magic energy into it?" I laugh nervously and pull it out to hand over to her, hoping she'll somehow think there's some energy in it. "Emiya… I thought I told you to start storing magic energy in it every day? The sooner you start, the sooner it can be used. Trust me when I tell you this will come in handy someday when you're in a real pinch." I lower my head, scared to look at her gaze, but she soon lifts my head up by my chin and places the gem back into my hand. "Go ahead and put some in it now. I suppose I'll just have to include you transferring energy into it as a part of our lesson from now on." I nod and lightly roll the gem around in the palm of my hand.

 _The rough texture of it still feels just as good. Now… I guess I just 'inject' the energy into it like I did to power the flame?_ I delicately try to push a tiny bit of magic into the gem and it instantly takes, just like the flame, but unlike the flame, the gem sucks the energy into it with so much more strength. _It's almost like a sponge…_ This pushes me to feed it more, seeing as I felt no end to the storage capabilities of the small gem. So, I feed it some energy, then more, then more, then more, and soon the diamond starts glowing extremely brightly, illuminating the whole room. "Emiya! Emiya! That's enough, stop! You'll hurt yourself!" I stop filling the diamond with energy and look at Luvia in alarm from the dire tone in her voice.

"W-What's wrong Luvia?" She dons her dumbfounded expression again and grabs me by the shoulders, looking me up and down, shaking me lightly.

"You're ok?" I nod slowly, cautious of the way she's acting. "Thank goodness. Don't ever do that again! You can't put so much of your magic energy into something like that, it can damage your body and make you lose consciousness." I tilt my head in confusion.

"But Luvia, I didn't use that much. It was only a little bit." Luvia's face went pale.

"Only a… little bit?"

I stayed sitting, feeling as if my face was on fire while Luvia rubbed her hands up and down my bare chest while leaning over me. We got into this situation right after I explained to her I barely used any of my magic to power the gem, upon which she tackled me and ripped open my shirt. Now I'm sitting, still as a statue, while she rubs all over my chest with her hands, keeping her eyes closed as if she's in deep thought. I can feel traces of magic, so I know she's doing some kind of spell or something, but it's making me feel really weird. _Tingles._ That's the best way to describe it. _I'm getting tingly all over while she's on top of me…_ "Incredible…" I realize I hadn't been breathing when Luvia's comment made me sharply inhale. She finally stood up and opened her eyes to look down at her hands. "Emiya… I knew you had vast reserves of magic energy, but this is unreal. I tried to sense as deep as your magic energy went to gauge how much you had, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't see an end to it. But, surely there's an end, right?" _She's asking me?_

"Uhh… yes?" She placed her forefinger on her chin and kept pondering it, ignoring my unsure response.

"Putting aside whether his magic reserves are infinite or not, the sheer amount would explain his ability to reinforce something to such an extent… probably. Emiya." I perk up at her calling me, wary of what she'll do next. "Your magic energy, let me explain something to you: firstly, your reserves of magic energy have a name, it's called Od and it's one of the two sources of magical energy in the world, specifically it is the amount of innate energy a mage has within themselves. Your level of Od, especially, is far beyond the level of a normal magus. Secondly, the reason you can reinforce something to such a degree, I think, is because while reinforcing the object, you're simultaneously using your magic to increase the 'lifespan' of that object." I blink.

"Huh?" She glares at me.

"Just listen! You're casting Reinforcement to strengthen your blade, but at the same time, you're conducting some kind of equivalent exchange in your body, sacrificing magic energy to essentially force the blade to retain its shape so that it can withstand the intense reinforcement being applied to it. I don't quite know how to explain it, but it's like you're casting dual Reinforcement magic." I nod, displaying I understood exactly what she meant. _I have no idea what she means…_ "Hurry and go get some lunch Emiya. Then head straight to your lessons with Auguste. I need some time to think about this. Also, even though you say you didn't use much, never put anymore than about 25 percent of your magic into the gem during your transfer. I'm more worried about the well-being of the gem than of you now." I leave her to her rambling, hearing her last few comments to herself while slowly backing out of the room. "I don't think such an absurd process would be possible for a mage, much less a novice, but that would be the only explanation, right? Normally, yes, it'd be impossible, but with his immense levels of Od, burning though mana might be a valid option for him…" I listen to Luvia talk to herself until the conversation fades into incoherent gibberish as I get further down the hallway.

 _Is it really that hard for her to understand? Why do things have to be so… complicated? There's no secret mechanics behind what I do or how I do it, I just… do it._ I keep thinking about today's bizarre lesson while I eat some lunchmeat, bread, tomatoes, and lettuce. I didn't feel like putting them together into a sandwich today, so I ate each by itself. I sit on the windowsill of the kitchen while I eat, admiring the beautiful day. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing through the trees, and the birds were flying overhead and chirping a beautiful song. _Birds… I remember when Auguste told me about them. What did I think they were before I knew? I don't remember seeing them or, no, it wasn't that I wasn't seeing them, I just wasn't paying attention. They weren't important to me back then. 'Importance'? Yes, important… I wonder what is important to me._ I jump up from the windowsill and head off to my lesson with Auguste, leaving my plate hardly touched at all. I wasn't feeling very hungry today.

Auguste had me help him repair the roof today instead of preparing any actual lessons, thankfully. I sat on the edge of the hole in the roof while Auguste went off to bring up some more tiles. The image of the man from my dream returned to me once more as I sat and wiped the sweat from my brow. _What did it mean?_ I brought up my dreams to Auguste once before, the ones about the swordsmen, during my lessons in psychology upon having him mention the concept of dreams to me. All he told me was "all dreams have a certain meaning, but the hard part is finding out what that meaning is." I tried getting him to tell me, but he refused, saying the one person who knows what they mean more than anyone else is myself. _What could a dream like that mean though? It's so different than the others. It's… scary and overwhelming._ I pull out my folding blade and unveil it, remembering the words of the husk. _The things Auguste preaches to you, the academics he teaches you, cease them._ "Ah, admiring the gift I got you?" Auguste had returned and dropped a load of tiles nearby before sitting down next to me to join in my break.

"Yes… Luvia had called it a knife." Auguste chuckles.

"But of course. That's what it is after all. A _pocket_ knife, to be precise. I had it custom made in the style of a much larger blade called a Kukri. You won't find another like it anywhere." I look down at his gift, the pocket knife. Magic is nice and all, and Luvia's present may be far prettier than this knife, but something about it touches something deep in me. _I can't understand something like this, but even I can tell this knife means something big, like It's a symbol for something. Auguste… did you really think those times I practiced my swordsmanship was useless? If so, why would you give me something like this…_ I didn't like this knife because it was reminiscent of a sword, it was something else about it that made me feel so warm and happy inside. "Now then, I'll get back to working, but feel free to break for a bit longer. If we hurry though, we may have some time to discuss some things on your mind, if there are any." Auguste laughs slightly and gives me a quick wink before grabbing a piece of the sawed lumber and his hammer and descending down the ladder in the hole. _Give up this precious time I spend with Auguste? I said it once before, and I'll say it every time it's asked of me again. Never will I do such a thing._

We finished patching up the roof, or at least as much as we could with the time allotted for today, and then headed off to the kitchen while talking about everything that came to mind, whether it be questions, jokes, or about how my lessons with Luvia were going. After Auguste prepared dinner, stew with mashed potatoes, Luvia gloated about how far ahead I was coming in my magic training and how great of a teacher she was, but Auguste quickly retaliated with how diligent I'd been despite how hard his lessons are and that I was becoming sharper than the knife he'd given me with all the knowledge I was absorbing. They kept up their bickering and their playful rivalry while I laughed and laughed at the two from across the table. They soon stopped and joined me in the gleeful laughter. Auguste made funny faces at us and cracked a few jokes about Luvia, Luvia playfully punched him, and I just immersed myself in the warm atmosphere. _Despite everything… the confusion, the feeling of frequent deception, the tough lessons… this place… it makes me so happy._

Dinner went on much longer than normal that night. Even after we finished eating, we kept talking for a long time into the night. Auguste even joined us in sitting at the table tonight and ate with us upon Luvia's insisting he did so. We eventually called it a night once Luvia started dozing off while sitting in her chair and Auguste urged me to head off and use the bathroom first, that he'd escort Luvia while I did so. So, I did just that, and after I bathed myself and brushed my teeth, I eventually found myself in bed.

 _What a wonderful, wonderful night… and what amazing and unique people I share this place with._ I stretch out in my bed, letting out a loud yawn and feeling the sleepy sensation suddenly hit me like a sack of bricks. _I hope tomorrow is… just as… good…_ The image of the room fades away and I fall deep into my slumber.

Only a few moments into my sleep and a chain wraps around my throat, tightening to the point I can't breathe. I look around in horror, but there's nothing but darkness. I try to hook my fingers into the chain, but it's so tight around my neck that there's no room for them to fit. I try to scream, but no noise comes out. So, I just squirm and struggle as the chain drags me along the dark surface. Eventually I get yanked into the humongous, dim cage, right through the front door, and I gasp for air while glaring up at the husk, slowly pulling his chain back to be coiled up neatly next to him. _A dream where I need air? What… is this?_ "It's our dream. Us. We. If I'm going to hurt myself dragging you into this cage, then I'll be damned sure I give you the sensation of having no air to breathe. If you hurt, I hurt. I'll be sure to make it apply vice versa." I didn't know what he meant, but I could tell he was different from last night. Not only was his haughty attitude still present, but I could tell he was infuriated. "All day… All day and you didn't do what I told of you. Instead of practicing your Reinforcement magic and perfecting it to the point your Projection would work, you just blew the time away, patching up a roof, sitting around a table and having a jolly old time, hell, you even went and decided to learn fire magic instead of practicing your Reinforcement. What? Was that one just to rub salt in my wounds?" I didn't know what he was talking about. "You know what I'm talking about. You didn't even cut off your arrangement with that stupid butler!" Well, I knew I hadn't cut things off with Auguste, but otherwise I thought I did just as I was supposed to today. _Luvia… Luvia said I did amazing today._

"I did… practice Reinforcement today. Luvia commended me, she said I had done it better than anyone else she'd seen before!" The husk laughed, but not of joy, not of feeling humorous, but of anger. The fear I had felt this whole time continued to rise.

"Oh, Luvia said so? It's true I can't deny you completely mastered Reinforcement, somehow, but," The husk rose up to his feet and staggered over to me, pain from moving apparent on his almost indiscernible face. I try to move, but just like last night, I am barred from doing any actions of my own in here other than my independent thought. "Reinforcement isn't Projection, now **IS IT**?!" My body trembled in terror and I couldn't even move my head to see the kick that he delivered to my jaw. I gasp and moan in pain. This place, it's only a dream, it must be, but that kick… it felt just as real as every other blow I've had dealt to me since I've been here. My head stayed stuck in place, I couldn't even move it with the flow of the kick to cushion the strike. "Now then, let us continue our lessons from last night. I'm sure by the time you wake up, you'll not only be able to pull off a successful projection, but you'll have no will to defy me again… **ever**."


	8. Winter Day Date

My muscles throughout my body are stiff to the point it's difficult to move. Cramps are apparent all over and my right hand beneath my cast is screaming out in pain. I'd finally been freed from the hellish lands of my dreams at about 7:00, according to the clock ticking next to my bed, and I hadn't moved from the curled-up position I'm now in since then. _My hands_ ; my hands have been shaking ever since I woke up, doing nothing more than to scare me even further and bolster the pain in my right one. None of the many physical afflictions he made on me were apparent this morning, but my body must've responded to the dream while I was sleeping by flexing and tensing harder than it should, cramping and stiffening me all over. I moved my right hand quite a lot as well and must've hit something because it hurt insanely bad. _What he did last night… wasn't training…_

I get up from the mattress and find it hard to walk, falling onto the floor and shakily trying to bring myself back up using one of the bed posts at the foot of the bed. While I'm holding myself up against the bedpost, a sudden feeling wells up in my stomach and I begin to feel terrible. Almost as soon as the feeling comes over me, I feel something rise up from my stomach and into my throat and I quickly shut my mouth and cover it with my hand. Something bitter floods up my throat and into my mouth, leaving an incredible burning sensation. I want to let it out, but in fear of ruining Luvia's floor, I swallow the bitter, burning bile back down, much to my disgust. The shakiness in my hands spreads throughout the rest of my body and I'm now trembling all over, unable to process all of the scary, new things happening to me. _This is all happening because of what that thing did to me last night._

After the husk had told me we were going to train all night, he proceeded to beat me and torture me in many ways I never thought existed and most of which I've repressed to where I won't let myself remember. He showed me horrifying things as well, but the most horrifying being a town set entirely ablaze with people stuck in the flames screaming out at me for help while I kept on walking, pretending I didn't hear them. He told me things such as "this is what you'll find eventually if you continue to try and learn what Auguste teaches you; the filth of humanity!" and "you can see what those are right? Flames! The product of the heinous magic you're wasting your time trying to learn!" During the few times he wasn't abusing me physically or mentally, he truly did make me recreate projections; of swords, of tools, of objects I've never seen before, but it was still useless, just like it'll always be, as I'm incapable of the magic known as "Projection." He left me, sniveling and shaking on the floor of the cage, and told me that if I were to waste any more time not focusing on trying to develop the Projection to where I can use it, that he would visit me every time I sleep from then on to torture me and degrade my mind into nothingness, that this was his last warning.

I look down at my shaky hands and try in vain to project something, but even if I could, the way my body is shaking in fear now does not make a good tool to conduct the spell with. _I'll… I'll just practice Reinforcement then…_ I grab onto the bed post with my trembling left hand and begin the spell, but almost instantly, I lose control and the bed post explodes in my hand from being overloaded, lodging a few splinters into my hand. "Ahhh!" I walk backwards, away from the bed, and clutch the hair on the side of my head with my splintered hand, feeling tears welling up. _Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down…_ Almost as if it was a voice other than my own in my head, my sense of rationality kicks in and I shake my head while wiping the dampness from my eyes. _It was only a dream. Whatever that was, whatever it meant, it can't do anything. And even if it could, it can't right now._ I control my breathing and feel the trembling in my body slowly fade away. While I try my hardest to return a semblance of clarity to myself, I hear the door swing open and Auguste rush in.

"Master Emiya?! Goodness, what happened? I'd heard a loud bang go off in here, I…" Auguste trailed off when he saw me still looking shaken up and the smoldering bed post.

"Auguste I'm sorry I-I, the bedpost-" Auguste quickly pulled my blanket from the bed while I struggled to form an apology and swiftly wrapped it around my shoulders while leading me out the room.

"For heaven's sake Emiya, never mind the bed post, you're clearly troubled. Come, come, I'll make you some hot chocolate and you can tell me what's ailing you if you'd like." Having Auguste unveil his caring side so boldly puts me at ease and I feel relief finally flood over me while he leads me down the hall to make me some "hot chocolate."

"So, master Emiya, what is it that had you so shaken up?" I'd been enjoying the new drink Auguste prepared for me that was far sweeter and creamier than the disgusting, bitter tea when he finally inquired as to what happened. I stirred the remaining half of a cup of hot chocolate while sitting next to him on a stool in the kitchen, thinking of how to answer. _He's already told me once before that only I can solve the meanings of my dreams, so bringing it up to him again now probably isn't the best choice._

"I decided to practice my Reinforcement some because Luvia really seemed to want me to learn Projection, and I experimented with the spell slightly to see if I could figure out how to make it a Projection. I uh, destroyed the bed post, obviously, and was scared you two would be mad…" I wait for a moment and finally look up at Auguste after he doesn't respond to what I said immediately. He just looks at me with his unreadable gaze before gently placing his right hand onto my left shoulder and leaning in a bit closer.

"Master Emiya… are you _sure_ that's all that happened?" Auguste seemed very wary about the situation. _Does he know I'm lying?_ I could see in his eyes how worried he looked, but I couldn't go back on the story I made up now.

"Yes, of course I am. You're not mad, are you?" After a brief moment, I see relief flood over his face and he let out a sigh, removing his hand and leaning back slightly in the bar stool.

"No, no of course not. Miss Luvia, however, might be a different story." I laugh slightly at the comment and return to drinking my hot chocolate while Auguste excuses himself to go retrieve Luvia for breakfast.

I ate breakfast silently while Auguste poured Luvia a cup of hot chocolate. "What is this, Auguste?" She clearly knew what it was as she took a sip, but Auguste answered the question anyways.

"It is hot chocolate, Miss. I decided to let master Emiya try some this morning, remembering he's probably never had any, and decided I'd make some for all of us. I hope you're fine with having it substitute your morning tea." She placed it down after sipping on it for a bit, and gently wiped her mouth with her napkin, ridding herself of the brown hot chocolate mustache she'd gained.

"You know how much I love hot chocolate, Auguste. I do, however, think the drink might be a bit too heavy and rich to be enjoyed with breakfast." Auguste rubbed his bearded chin in a pondering manner at her opinion.

"Noted, miss Luvia." I always like listening to their conversations every morning because while they're always mundane, each and every one is different. I return to silently eating my breakfast after hearing in on their little exchange. _I'm going to have to practice Reinforcement all day today and see if I can somehow figure out how to project. Even if the dream is just a dream, and even if I'll never be able to project, I still want to be prepared for whatever happens tonight when I sleep._

I finished breakfast before Luvia this time, as she was eating at a normal pace once again this morning, and jumped up from my seat to head to the lab. "Alright Luvia, I'm going to go wait in the lab for lessons. You can take your time." I take a step forward to begin making my way to the stairway, but I'm stopped by Luvia calling out to me.

"Emiya wait! I'm pleased to see you so eager to begin lessons, but I have something a bit different for us today. See, we've been needing to run errands for a while and Auguste and I decided we would go today, but the hole in the roof is still not fully patched up and I'd also like to get that done as soon as possible. Basically, we decided last night right before I went to bed that I'll have you accompany me so that Auguste can finish fixing the roof today. He may even get the two doors fixed as well." I became alarmed at the news she just delivered.

"I, could I maybe stay and help Auguste? It's a lot of work for just him and it would be good exercise for me…" Luvia shakes her head and stands up.

"Nonsense, Auguste is plenty capable of handling it on his own. Besides, I need a man to protect me while I'm out in town. Do you not wish to come?" Any other day and I would want to go with her more than anything. It's my chance to finally see the outside world. _But I can't._ I began to get scared that I would be forced into going. Auguste seems to notice how uncomfortable Luvia's proposition is making me, so he pipes in.

"Miss Luvia, maybe I could have him today to assist me? He's not wrong when he says it is a lot of labor for one man." Luvia furrows her brow in discontent.

"Auguste, it was you who was so excited at the idea of him accompanying me in your stead today. I'd let him stay and repair it instead so that you can accompany me, but I don't like the idea of him being alone by himself. He's coming with me, end of discussion." I didn't know why Luvia wanted me to go so badly, but I was not happy about it at all. Almost every part of my body was screaming at me, telling me to refuse her and stay here to practice my magic, but I held my tongue. Something inside me urged me to go, and that everything would be ok. So, I silently stayed seated until Auguste and Luvia left the room and until Luvia returned shortly later to beckon me outside with her.

I didn't think Luvia was capable of driving, but she operated the vehicle so smoothly down the winding driveway throughout the woods that it made me wonder how adept a chauffeur like Auguste is at driving. It is my first time in a car and it did little to help how nervous I was already feeling. I rub the pocket knife in my coat pocket and pull it out after a bit. _I'll just practice my reinforcement in the car._ I make sure to focus so that what happened to the bedpost this morning won't repeat with the blade. As soon as the glow of the jagged lines graces the blade, Luvia swerves slightly and jerks her head to look over at me. "Oh, it was just you Emiya. I had thought the magic energy was coming from something hostile. Once again, I'm pleased to see you practicing Reinforcement, but would you mind stopping for the time being? Today is supposed to be a break for you and the magic actually makes it quite hard to focus on driving when I can feel its presence right next to me." I dip my head in sadness and dispel the Reinforcement before putting it back in my coat pocket.

"Yes, Luvia. I'm sorry." Luvia smiles and reaches over to rub my head.

"Don't be, Emiya. I'm actually happy you're so insistent on practicing, but let today be a day for us." _A day for us?_ That's a weird way to phrase an errand run intended for business, but I'm too preoccupied enjoying the head pats to worry about how she words her sentences.

Once we exit from the woods, I instantly feel overwhelmed by the sight I see. Long, open plains filled with grass surrounded us and the sides of the road are barred off by old, wooden fences. The plains of grass have occasional buildings, of which I assume are houses, much smaller than the mansion and the fields rise and fall in different spots, making it look like large bumps in the landscape. Unlike the woods, the trees in the plains are sparse and are only present nearby the houses throughout the fields. What surprises me the most, however, is the giant body of water in the middle of the plains that catches the light of the sun and glistens along the surface. _I remember this from my lessons with Auguste in geography. An ocean? No, it's too small to be an ocean and it's surrounded by land. It's a lake. Magnificent..._ The new surroundings make all the previous fears and worries fade away and I almost press my face against the window while staring at the passing landscape in wonder. I hear Luvia chuckle next to me. "I thought you'd like to see the world outside our secluded little forest. I'm glade you're enjoying it so much…" I turn to look at her just as she's looking away and I see an expression on her face that I've yet to see. She was smiling, and her eyes were soft and gentle, and they were filled with care, as if just because she looked at me, my heart was beating rapidly, and feelings of joy welled up inside of me. It was obviously a look that indicated she was happy, but there was something more to it than that. She was happy because I'm happy? _Maybe my worries didn't melt away because of the beautiful landscape, but because she was gazing at me with that sweet expression while I watched over the passing scenery._

The town was just as awe inspiring as the countryside we drove through to get there. It took us quite a while and the longer we drove, the more populated the area around us became, slowly filling up with more structures and people as we drove until we ended up in this huge, wonderful town. We drive slowly over a bridge that runs over a huge waterway and into the town before Luvia parks next to one of the many cobbled buildings on the side of the street. "Emiya, welcome to London!"

We walked through the town for quite a while visiting shop after shop after shop. The people here were so varied, and they ranged from plain looking to completely outrageous. Some stopped and talked to us, some looked at us with gazes that gave off the impression of contempt, but most didn't even notice us as they walked throughout the streets to conduct their business while Luvia drug me around by my arm that was interlocked with her own. I was at first embarrassed to be so close to Luvia, but it soon faded after we visited all the amazing places and it soon felt natural to have my arm interlocked with hers. She brought me to a small shop on the corner of a street filled with girls' clothing and the like and she sat me down in front of a changing room before running in and out, trying on different clothes, asking my opinion on them, and striking different poses for me in them as if she was some kind of a performer. It was embarrassing, but I went along with it and gave her my honest opinions on the ones I liked and the ones I didn't. After she was done, she purchased every one I said I liked and none of the ones I said I didn't for some reason.

The next stop after the clothes shop was a small food parlor that smelled of sweets inside. Luvia ordered two items from the vendor called "crepes" and after a brief wait, handed me mine once the man brought them out to her. It looked like a work of art; within the flat pastry that looked like a thin pancake held bananas, chocolate, various other fruits I've never seen and what looked as if it was a cloud that was whipped up on top. Luvia's was slightly different from mine, having some kind of cream within it, different fruits, and what looked like a red jelly substituting for the chocolate. "Isn't it delicious Emiya? These desserts are my absolute favorite! Here, let me have a bite of yours." Luvia gently wraps her hand around my own and leans it down to her face before taking a small bite from the crepe, leaving a small smear of the whipped substance on her upper lip. "Mmm delicious!" I felt embarrassed from the gesture and when I saw a passerby staring at us and noticed she was giggling, I felt my face heat up even more. Luvia licks the cream from her upper lip and brings her own crepe up to my face. "Would you like some of mine?"

"I-I'm good Luvia, but thank you!" She smiled and giggled at me, before twirling away and walking off to our next destination, steadily eating her own crepe on the way.

After visiting a few more clothes shops and other various places, I eventually stop and realize something. Right before Luvia heads into the flower shop, I stop and gently pull back on her arm slightly. "Emiya what's wrong?"

"I'm having a lot of fun Luvia, but I thought we were coming to town to get groceries and do some other important errands you had to run?" Luvia's face went pale and she started stammering.

"I-I, we are running errands, we're just uh."

"Luvia?" She shakes her head, and the color rushes back, a bit too much actually, as she's now blushing brighter than I'd been all day today.

"We, WE ARE DOING ERRANDS! What did you think we were doing all this time? I-It's not supposed to be fun!" I take a step back from her sudden outburst and she begins stroking her curled hair, avoiding my gaze.

"Ok… I understand that, sorry for thinking otherwise." She finally looks me back in the eyes and her blush subsides while she proudly lifts her chin up.

"Th-That's right! Well, if you understand, then come, we'll get those groceries you're so worried about." She walks off in the opposite direction of the flower shop. I look in the store at all of the pretty roses and the like. _Didn't she say this stop was an important errand too?_ I perish the thought and follow after her, remaining confused, and notice a giant tower in the distance of the direction she's walking. _I wonder what that big place is…_

After we got the groceries, we ran to a few more places and eventually Luvia said we only had one more stop to go to. I was thankful, for the amount of things I was carrying had grown substantially and ever since a little while ago, my head has been hurting very badly. When we finally reach the building, Luvia stops me outside of it and tells me that she has some papers to fill out inside regarding the mansion that we live in, which she apparently only just recently bought around the same time I started living with them. "I'm sorry Emiya, but you can't come inside with me. I should only be a bit though, you can go wait on a bench down the road if you'd like to rest your legs." She bids me farewell and I do just as she suggested, walking down to the bench to rest after feeling extremely fatigued.

I sit on the bench for about 30 minutes and soon find my headache not calming down and Luvia still not finishing her business in the building. I decide to stand up and stretch my legs, and this soon turns into me pacing around in front of the building, which soon turns into me walking down the street, away from the building. I don't even realize I'm walking away until I soon find my head pounding inside, aching to the point I feel inclined to clutch the sides of my head. I look up to my left to see the giant tower I noticed earlier was now right next to me on the side of the street. I felt the sick sensation from this morning well up inside of me and I walk backwards to the opposite side of the street, away from the giant structure, instinctively. I notice the giant dial on the side of the top of the tower that is just like the one on Luvia's pocket watch or my alarm clock, but on a much larger scale. Once I back onto the edge of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, I lose my footing, and find myself falling backwards. I close my eyes and was anticipating my head to collide with the concrete and make the burning within increase further, but I open them after a moment and see a hand clasping the front of my shirt, firmly holding me a few inches above the sidewalk. I follow the arm up and soon meet the cold gaze of a brown-eyed, brown-haired man. After establishing a line of sight, he releases my shirt, now wrinkled, and I fall down the last two inches.

"You should watch where you are going young man. Not only could that fall have left a nasty bruise on the back of your head, but you weren't even paying attention to the traffic while you walked across the street." I stand to my feet and see the man is sitting at a small table with two chairs and a large umbrella sticking out from the middle of it, shading him from the sunlight. The surrounding area has a few more tables like this, but no one else is around.

"What is uh traffic? No, what is this place?" The man looks at me inquisitively and sighs.

"This, young man, is a café. As for traffic, it would be that." Just as he says that, he points to a car speeding down quick enough to have hurt me severely had it hit. "Here sit down, I'd like for you to join me for a cup of coffee for a bit. You seem troubled." He beckons the old man who I assume was the "butler" of this establishment and tells him to bring out another coffee while I sit down.

"Uh thank you for buying me some 'coffee', but you really don't have to, I'm fine." I notice the golden cross draped around his neck that shines slightly from the light reflecting off its polished surface.

"Nonsense boy, it's only a coffee. Besides, I'd like to have someone to enjoy some idle chit-chat with on such a beautiful day." I force a smile for him at his generosity, but still feel uneasy.

"So, what is your name, kind sir?" He clasps his hands together in front of him while resting his elbows on the table, and a smile graces his face.

"Kirei. Kirei Kotomine."


	9. The One Who Heralds The Truth

Even though this man in the long, dark blue coat, Kirei Kotomine, told me he wished to talk for a bit, he remained silent, as did I from his oppressive aura, until my coffee arrived, courtesy of the old butler. "Now then, my child, what's bothering you so much to the point you forget to look both ways when crossing, or should I say, backing across the street." I was about to take a sip of the new beverage when he posed the question to me, upon which I place it back down.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that was a rule that had to be followed. See, it's my first time in town, or really, my first time outside of the mansion, so I'm still getting used to this place, but…" His expression faltered slightly at my answer as though I said something weird, but a word he used caught my attention. He referred to me as a child. "Child". It's the root of the word "childish". It's the word that, more so than anything else, Auguste and Luvia have refrained from explaining to me what it is.

"I see, well now you know I suppose. A word of advice: always stay wary when in the big city. This is a place littered with violence and crime, so always make sure to stay on edge." He rises up from his chair, leaving his empty cup on the table. "I really must be on my way, I must say though, you are quite the interesting character. One of the most unique I've seen in a while… Oh! I don't believe I caught your name; would you be so kind to tell me?" I didn't mind giving it to him, but I suppose I didn't really have a choice either way seeing how he gave me his.

"It's Emiya, just Emiya."

Kirei stops dead still as soon as the name leaves my lips. A smile spreads across his face, but is far different from the one earlier. If the one earlier was a grin, that would make this a face-splitting sneer. He turns to face me and sits back down in his chair slowly. "I see… yes, yes, you are Emiya. How intriguing…" His eyes that seemed so empty and vacant earlier now seemed as though they were on fire and full of life. Kirei turns around and calls out to the butler once more. "Excuse me sir, but can you bring out a fresh pot for us?" Kirei turns back to me. "My apologies, Emiya, but I would like to talk with you for a while longer, if you don't mind."

Kirei sits across from me, eyes closed and sipping on his coffee, his face still grinning and full of content. I decide to finally taste the coffee and as soon as the warm, black fluid spreads across my tongue, I spit it out onto the table cloth and start wiping my tongue off on my napkin in disgust. "Ugh, UGH! Thith tathtes dithgusting!" I never would've imagined there could be something more bitter and vile than tea, but I was wrong. _How can something that smells so warm and inviting taste like dirt?!_ I look up at Kirei and see my reaction to the coffee didn't provoke any emotion from him. He wasn't shocked, wasn't disgusted, he didn't even laugh thinking it was a joke; he just sat across from me, smiling and staring into my eyes. I regain my composure, assuming he has something important to talk about, and not long after, he begins to do so.

"Now, my child, you say your name is Emiya. Would you mind telling me who you're here with? As in, your guardians or parents." _Parents?_

"Wh- 'Parents'? Wait, you keep referring to me as your child, but what does that mean? I've been wondering it for the longest time." He clasps his hands together and leans forward in his chair.

"It is a form of title used in the Catholic church from the priest unto his church-goers. They, in turn, refer to him as 'father'. It is a form of respect, so to speak." _"Catholic church? Priest? Father? This 'childish' thing sounds like a completely different thing from 'immature'. Was my assumption of its meaning incorrect?_ "Emiya? Your guardians? Would you mind telling me who they are?" I was snapped out of the winding questions in my mind upon Kirei's voice reaching me.

"If you're referring to the ones who house me, it is two people by the names of Auguste and Luvia Edelfelt…" He poured me some more coffee in my cup to top me off while I answered, sadly.

"I see, I see. Very interesting. Now, what of your name? It sounds like an uncommon given name, so I'd assume it's no doubt a namesake… from your father?" I am greatly confused by his question and it derails me from asking him any of the ones he'd already planted in my mind.

"My father? I-I'm sorry, but I don't know what a 'Catholic church' is, much less a 'priest' so I'm afraid I don't have a father. Not that I understand why he would be giving me a name either way…" This time, Kirei did indeed burst out in a small fit of chuckles from my response, for whatever reason.

"Oh, how intriguing this is getting…"

Kirei must've noticed I wasn't drinking my coffee, so he asked the butler to bring out some cream and sugar, which completely changed the coffee into something amazing, almost like the hot chocolate. "Now, Emiya, you're saying you've never heard of a father before?" I shake my head.

"Up until you told me just now, no, I've never learned what that is." He twirls his thumbs around each other while thinking about how I answered.

"This might be a bit too over my head… just what did that fool do…" I heard him whispering to himself, almost inaudibly, while I drank the transformed coffee.

"Anyways Kirei, back to what I was saying, if a child is someone who goes to your 'Catholic church', then what does it mean to be childi-" My sentence is cut right before I finish the last word.

I feel the coffee slip from my hand and fall onto the table, spilling all across it and onto my lap.

The headache I had forgotten about up until now suddenly returned more forceful than ever before upon what I see walking along the sidewalk behind Kirei.

Kirei's face lights up in shock after seeing me react to what I saw. "Emiya?! What's wrong boy?!" He quickly turns around in alarm to see what I'm looking at, and stays still, staring at what shut down my mind completely. Behind Kirei, walking along the sidewalk, holding hands with the woman guiding her, was a little girl, no taller than the height of my knees. _Her features… they're so soft, they're, they're-they're…_ _ **young.**_

I feel tears instantly well up in my eyes and start streaming down my cheeks and dripping off my chin, onto my lap. My heart aches and I clutch my chest while squinting and exhaling hard, unsure of the wave of emotions washing over my entire being. "Kirei what- what… *sniff* what is she?" I look up through my watery eyes at Kirei and he slowly turns around, and for once I see an expression other than neutrality and devilish happiness on his face: sorrow.

"That, Emiya… is a child…"

I watch, in what I can only describe as horror and fear, the child and the woman holding her hand until they disappear around the corner block in the distance at the end of this sidewalk. I must've been quite the sight, because Kirei was refraining from looking at me while I had my crisis, his serious, sorrowful face still present. "I… a child…" I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to feel. I didn't even know why I was reacting to the child the way I was. I look back at Kirei with a pathetic, pleading face. "Kirei what is a- what is a child?" He closed his eyes and sighed, turning his full attention back to me finally.

"It's a younger human. It's the stage of life for a human after a fetus, from which a baby, and then a toddler forms, and then finally a child. That child then grows into a teen, an adolescent, and finally a young man, such as yourself."

"Hughh!" I let out a pained groan as I feel the tightness in my chest grow at what he tells me. Half the words he used I didn't understand, but he made one thing clear. At some point in my life, I was a child. I was something younger than my 'self'. I was something that grew and developed into the being I am in this moment. _Or was I?_ Kirei stared down at his cup of coffee, silently, with his solemn look. I look around and see water falling from the sky. At some point clouds had rolled overhead and begun to pour down rain on this cold, winter day. I stand up from my chair and remove my hand from my chest only to reach up and clutch my bangs in said hand. _What-WHAT IS THIS?!_

I hear someone call out my name. Luvia. I look over to see her running down the sidewalk to me, her bags I left on the bench in her right arm and her satchel held above her head to prevent her hair from getting wet in her left hand. She stops dead in her tracks whenever she looks down at the table and sees Kirei sitting there. "You! What are you doing here?!" I didn't know whether she was talking to Kirei or myself, or maybe even both, and I didn't care. I just stared up at the dark sky raining cold splashes of water onto my face. Luvia didn't move any closer to me and Kirei eventually stood up and walked around the table and past me. But before he continued to walk all the way down the sidewalk, he placed his hand on my shoulder and leaned in to whisper something to me.

"Listen closely, Emiya. Should you ever have anymore questions, just come back to this café. I promise you that if you ever return here, I will be here. How you will get here is another matter, however. I'm sorry, but this is all I can offer you…" And with that, Kirei walks away from the diner, going the same direction as the child and the woman when they left. Luvia ran over to me as soon as Kirei was gone and began asking me a multitude of questions. They were probably questions like "are you ok?", "how'd you meet him?", "what'd he tell you?", "did he hurt you?", but I didn't pay attention to anything she asked me. I only waited until she stopped talking and then I followed her as she led me through the rain by my hand. I was grateful in that moment the rain was pouring down upon us. Perhaps with this, Luvia won't notice how much I'm bawling my eyes out.

The car ride was silent. I was cold, and I was wet, but more than anything I was confused. So confused, that I couldn't even attempt to sort things out in my head now and all I could do was sit and repeat the scenario that happened over and over. Luvia didn't try to ask me anything either. She just sat silently and drove steadily until the forest the mansion lied within formed in the distance.

When we walked inside, Luvia placed the bags next to the door and grabbed me by my hand to lead me to the staircase and I assume to the bathroom or some other place where she could give me a towel, but I jerk my hand away and step away from her. "Emiya? Wh-What's wrong?" I could see from her expression the gesture hurt her feelings, but I was beyond caring about how she felt at this point. While staring at the floor I ask her

"Luvia… what is a child?" Luvia jolts slightly at the question and walks up to me and places her hands on either side of my face, lifting it to make my eyes meet hers.

"Emiya, listen to me. Whatever that priest told you was nothing but lies. Trust me when I say it would be in your best interest to just forget every-" I grab her arm with my left hand and rip it from my face, followed shortly by doing the same to her opposite hand.

"My best interest? My _best_ interest?! What do you know about my best interest?! That priest explained to me things you and Auguste have been failing to tell me ever since I've been here. And why?! You tell me he's lying, but I feel like it's you two that are lying!" Luvia steps back from me after I turn hostile and she gets teary in her eyes.

"I-I…" She can't even form a response to my question. I hear quick footsteps and Auguste soon emerges from the doorway to the dining room.

"What in blazes is going on here?!" I glare at him and pose the same question.

"Auguste, what's a child?!" Auguste is taken aback by either my anger or the sudden question itself.

"I… It's a-" Whether or not he was going to actually tell me, I don't know, but he promptly stops talking when Luvia jerks her head to him and looks at him with her now teary eyes, giving him an expression that reads "don't".

"Then what was that Luvia?" She turns back to me after I call out to her, tears now trickling down her cheeks. "If that priest lies… If it's in my best interest to forget what he told me… Why is it you can't answer the question I posed to you? The same one he gave me an answer to, no matter how hard it obviously was for him to?" Luvia just stands there crying and shaking her head. Auguste stands in the doorway, refusing to look upon me. _And even still, even after they know Kirei told me what a child is, they still won't elaborate._ I push past Luvia and walk to the stairway.

"Emiya- Emiya! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry!" She apologizes for being unable to answer me and walks up to grab my wet sleeve while I walk away. I jerk my arm away, inches before her hand clad in her silky, white glove is able to touch me, and quickly start ascending the stairs. I hear her crying even louder now and Auguste softly muttering some reassuring words to her, but I don't look back. I don't even know who I know anymore.

When I finally make it to my room, I take off my damp clothes and sling them onto the stone ledge of the chimney before chucking in some firewood and angrily tossing a gout of fire I conjured in my hand into the fireplace. I stand and watch the flames, wondering what to do from here on out. Some part of me tells me to go back, apologize, and do just what Luvia said and act like I never even met the priest. Another part of me says to run to the window and dive out. To run into the woods and far away from here, never to return, unknowing of what lies ahead. But… what I instead do… is put on a pair of my fleece pajamas, walk over to my bed, crawl in, curl up under the sheets, and weep. I weep and weep and beg for help to someone, anyone, before unknowingly drifting off to sleep once I exhaust myself of all the tears my body has to offer.

When I open my eyes again, I'm greeted with the vision of the husk, inside his wretched cage. He doesn't laugh this time and instead just stares at me. Finally, he calls out to me. "So… I see you had quite the day today. I would say I'm sorry, but…" I feel something sharp poke into my chest from below once he flicks his fingers up as if commanding it to do so, and I'm of course unable to look down at it. "You not only didn't practice your Reinforcement, attempt Projection, or even dabble in your useless fire magic today, but you decided you'd go off on a fun little date. Then you so rudely inquire as to things you're curious about from someone you only just met after I SPECIFICALLY tell you to not do just that. It's like you are an unwilling cur dog that wants nothing more than to disobey its master, just for the kick it gets out of it. To top all this off, you ruin that young girl's day by breaking her heart when you get home. What a selfish, twisted little creature you are."

 **Anger**

"But, don't worry. I would hate to break my promise I made to you, so I will be sure to thoroughly start your remedy tonight-"

 **Hatred**

"and I'll continue doing so for the rest of your sleepless nights, just as I promised you. I may have mercy at some point, should you learn projection, but-"

"HHHHHNNGAAHHHH!" I scream out and try my hardest to jerk my corporeal body and move it anyway possible. Not to escape the torture, not to run away from the nightmare, but to _get to him._ The husk jerks at my outburst and stands up, hastily.

"You bastard! What do you think you're doing, still trying to defy me?!" I feel the sharp point finish driving up through my chest and burst out from my back. I scream out, in a cry I wouldn't think a human could make had it not come from my own mouth. The husk backs away in alarm and this only bolsters me, making me feel as though I scared him. _Luvia told me once… I can reinforce more than just the strength and durability of things; the other aspects. If so- If that's the case!_ Then I will Reinforce my own mind. I will make it a steel trap of death that will rip the husk apart.

No sooner than I had this thought, the cage around me is graced with the electrified, blue patterns of my Reinforcement and the wide, open door to it slams shut. The husk's one eye widens and looks at the door in horror. "Wh-What!" I cry out once more in my animalistic scream and rip my hands away that were anchored in the ground and rise up onto my feet.

"You stupid, ugly, shell of a man!" I barrel forward with the full weight of this false body and tumble onto my hands, using the weight to rip my anchored feet from the ground and somersault forward, wasting no movement or time, and rush towards the husk which was now pressed against the cage wall, his indiscernible face filled with terror. I Reinforce my fake body and give it even more shape to where I stand before him in a radiant form as if it was my true self in reality. "Now we will play by my rules, my subconscious self! Let's see if you know what my past is! Let's see what memories YOU'RE KEEPING BARRED FROM ME?!" I cry out while leering over him, my form now much larger than his, before clasping my hands around his brittle head and piercing into him with my invasive magic. "TRACE **ON!"** The husk screams and screams in a cry more pained than I ever let out when he tortured me and soon I find myself diving into his mind, the part of me he kept locked away.

At first, it's a sphere of darkness surrounded by knowledge, but it's all locked tightly away from me. And then there's one part I can access, but only barely. I merge into it and after a bit, the darkness around me shapes into a room, but one I can't quite tell the details of. I try and try, but no matter how hard I try, I can't tell what this dark, black room is. And then, I feel something heavy and soft fall onto my pelvis and I twist my head forward to see a familiar face. The cold girl who had visited Luvia not too long ago was straddling my waist. The scenario shocks me, but I don't feel embarrassed. Instead, I feel enamored with her. Then, she leans forward and gently presses her soft lips against my own. I move naturally with the kiss as if I know what I'm doing and after keeping our lips locked for a moment, she pulls back from the delightful experience with a thin trail of saliva dripping down the corner of her mouth and she looks down at me with love-filled eyes. "Ok, Shirou, I hope you're ready. We must make sure we do this properly, so tonight I'm not going to let you get any sleep. Obviously, the same will apply for me…"


	10. Passion's Significance

Some serious nsfw lewdness ahead. You've been warned.

* * *

She is the only thing I can see here. I realized at this point that the room wasn't formless, but was instead pitch black; the lights of the room were off. And yet, Rin was perfectly visible in the darkness, as if light was cast upon her and nothing else in the area. She leans down once more, letting her soft chest press against me through the silky fabric of her button-up, white shirt. "I miss you, you know? It's not the same at our place without you there…" I raise up my hand and comb it through her lush, black hair.

"It's ok, Rin. Someday soon, I'll be back in that home enjoying each and every day. No matter what happens, I'll be fine. We have time, and even if the plan fails, I will find another way out. I swear it." I remain as a subsiding thought in the body of what I assume is my past self, watching everything play out. _I see… I don't have control over what I say or do. This is a memory, after all._ Rin pulls away from my chest and leans back up into a sitting position on my crotch, her legs spread on either side of me.

"Shirou… You say that, but…" I lean up quickly and envelop my lips around her own soft, pink ones. I don't move with the kiss like I did earlier, and instead pull away from it only a few seconds after I placed it upon her, as if it was a short peck instead of a kiss, and then I lean my forehead against her own. I lift my right hand up to gently caress her cheek, upon which I can feel the dampness of tears on my fingers; she's crying.

"Rin, listen to me. I have an important mission in this world; I won't die no matter what until that mission is complete. Be it the Mages' Association, the Church, the government, the entire world, or even God himself, I won't let anything stop me until I succeed." I lift my thumb up and brush away the tears under her left eye while trying my best to reassure her. "So, don't worry, alright? Our future together is secured and brighter than ever before." Rin pushes her face away from my own and nestles into the crook of my neck, sighing in frustration.

"Damn you and your silver tongue. You always know how to put me at ease…"

She raises her hands up to my chest and pushes me back down onto the bed. "Then, I'll hold you to your word, alright Shirou? You're going to make it out of here, complete your destiny, and sweep me off my feet, as my knight in shining armor… we'll live happily ever after." She reaches up to the top button of her white shirt and begins unbuttoning, working her way down. "But tonight, my prince charming, is the last night we have together as lovers, at least for a while. Even though this is about business, let's pretend it's not. Let's pretend everything bad that's happened, is happening, and might happen doesn't exist. Let's make love and give our entire beings to each other and no one else tonight…"

Rin drops the long-sleeved button up shirt onto the dark floor next to the bed and reaches down to rub my chest, which was bare just like her own, save for her bra. I raise my own hands onto her thighs and slowly slide them up her hips, her slender waist, and up her smooth abdomen until they reach her cloth-bound chest. I wrap my hands around her breasts and lightly massage them while she leans down to kiss me once more.

 _Wait, what in the world is happening?! The kiss was strange enough, but whatever's happening now is just too weird! And as this scenario is progressing, all the things this memory understands are being transferred to me. What a kiss is, what the cloth around her chest, a bra, is, and what… breasts are…_

I pinch my fingers around the protrusive nub hidden beneath the center of the bra pads and Rin softly screams out in pleasure. "Shirou… don't be mean…" She lightly moaned between her words while grinding her plump butt onto my crotch, from which I myself groaned in pleasure. _I feel it now. The sensation I get whenever I think about Luvia's curves or how she looks beneath her clothes; that tingling sensation._ I buck my hips up into Rin's own crotch and she moans a bit louder, pulling down from my lips to place her face in my neck once more, nibbling on the sensitive skin there.

 _But something about this feels different. Does it feel wrong? Yes, it feels like I'm being disloyal or unfaithful. Whatever I'm doing with Rin seems precious and I wouldn't want to engage in it with anyone other than Luvia. Nevertheless, the two keep passionately grinding into each other and rubbing all over one another's body._

Our bodies are soon slick with sweat and I can feel a significant amount of it pooling from Rin's own crotch. _No, it's not sweat, it's fluids overflowing from-_ "Your pussy, Rin; it's been soaked for quite a while hasn't it? I can feel the wetness through my pants now." Rin's face lit up in red even more than it already was, and she hid it deeper in the crook of my neck.

"…what'd you expect Shirou? I'm getting anxious from all the teasing and foreplay…" I sit up and push her down onto the opposite end of the bed, reversing our positions while she yelped out a bit in surprise.

"You said it yourself Rin, we won't be able to do this again for a while, so I'm going make the most of it." With that, I reach behind her and unclasp the hook of her bra strap, before pulling it away from her chest and tossing it near the shirt she discarded. Her chest glistened with the sweat and it rose and fell with each of her heavy breaths. _Hm, I assumed before I even removed any clothes her breasts were nowhere near as big and plump as Luvia's, but this confirms my suspicions._ The breasts were just as pale and flawless as the rest of her skin, except for the pink buds at the tips of them which stood pertly and made a beautiful contrast to the milky mounds. _I wish they were Luvia's… they'd probably be so much prettier and more fun to play with._ I play with Rin's chest; massaging, kneading, squeezing the boobs perfectly shaped for my hands and pinching, licking, and sucking on the nipples. After I give a bit of attention to the chest, I remove my left and lightly trace my forefinger down her body from her breast, down her stomach, to her bellybutton, and finally to the hem of her skirt. I unzip the side of the skirt to loosen it, and shove my hand down the front of the skirt and beneath her panties, placing my fingers onto her soaking wet crotch. She gasps and takes her own hand and starts rubbing the hard protrusion from my pants while I gently push my middle finger into the slick warmth of her lower lips. _This is her "pussy"? It's so warm and moist. It almost feels like the inside of a mouth, but it's so much softer and it envelops my finger and tightens around it. It feels nice…_ I continue to gently finger her while sucking on her right nipple and decide to "be mean" once more by using all my strength to finger her as fast as possible and suck with all my might. This time, she actually does scream and arcs her back inwardly, curving up from the bed.

"Shirou! I'm cu-cumming!" The tightness around my finger squeezes like a vice and I feel her juices gush out and into my palm, trickling off of it and onto the bed. After a moment, she collapses back onto the bed, panting and disoriented from the orgasm and I wait until her pussy loosens up to unsheathe my finger from it.

 _Did what I just do make her feel good? I can tell from the knowledge of this memory it did, but it looks as though I just hurt her and violated her._ "Like always Rin, you're so sensitive. Just a bit of force and I can make you climax every time, whenever I want. It's such a turn on." _Yeah, sorry, but I don't think she can hear you. Judging by her face, she's completely out of it right now. Jerk._ I pull down her skirt and panties at the same time, sliding them down her thighs, raising her limp legs into the air, and dropping them back onto the bed while sliding off and discarding the clothes onto the existing pile. I then get onto my knees on the bed and unbuckle my belt while unzipping my zipper. "You awake Rin? It's not time to sleep yet. What happened to 'not getting any sleep' tonight?" I pull the pants down and hook my thumbs into the edge of my boxers, dragging them down as well, until they reach my knees, upon which I swing my legs over and off the side of the bed while sitting down, kicking the pants off. While I position myself back on the bed, I lift Rin's legs back up and swing them over my shoulders, lifting her ass up in the air to the perfect level of my cock.

 _Cock? That's what the dangling bit is called? It's rock-hard now which usually only happens whenever I think about Luvia naked. It seems smaller than normal though… I suppose Luvia makes it bigger than Rin for whatever reason…_ I grab my cock with my right hand and rub the head of it up and down Rin's soaking pussy lips, pushing the very tip of it slightly in every now and then. _It seems a bit big for that opening, but now that I'm getting a good look at her 'pussy', it is very pretty. The lips of it are as supple and pink as the camellias in Luvia's garden and it feels amazing._

"Don't worry Rin, I know what'll wake you right up. I get it if you're tired, but it's way too early to start having pillow-talk!" And with that, I shove my cock as deep into her pussy as it can possibly go in one thrust, lifting her ass even higher up into the air.

"Ah! Shirou, don't move yet I just c-c-cumming! I'm cumming again!" I feel Rin's pussy grip fasten around me and squeeze while I continue to thrust up into her relentlessly as she sprays her love juice all over the spot where we're connected. She lightly whimpers and begs for me to be gentler, but I know she wants it rough. Even in a situation like this, she still can't be honest with herself. I lower my left hand on the bed to lift myself up higher and give me a better angle to drive my cock into her spasming pussy with even more speed and force. She moans like I'm fucking the daylight out of her; just the reaction I want. Pretty soon she starts grinding her own hips into me, massaging my cock inside her pussy from the movement. I pull out and flip her over so that her chest and face are on the bed, and I raise her ass back up, getting ready to screw her doggy style. I hear her whine from the covers. "Shirou… I can't see your face like this…" I rub her clit with my thumb while placing kisses starting from her ass and then up along her back, sending shivers down her spine.

"I'm sorry Rin, but the ensuing pleasure will surely make up for it." I lean back and waste no time plunging my cock back into her warmth, groaning at the pleasant sensation. I don't ease in with gentle thrusts this time either and piston my hips into her with my full force again. I can hear Rin below me, moaning into the covers while I fuck her senseless, trying to conceal her pleasure. "That's no-good Rin, you know I want to hear your voice." I raise my hand up and smack her across her plump ass cheek, prompting a louder moan through the fabric of the cloth.

I gently rub the tender cheek which has a red welp forming across the smooth white skin, before guiding my hand closer to between her cheeks, and I spread the cheeks apart, revealing her tiny asshole. I rub my thumb on top of it and hear her gasp in shock while lifting her head up. "Shirou, wait! You wouldn't dare!" And with that comment I plunge my thumb into her tight, little asshole as deep as it can go, and I start fingering it around. She screams out in pleasure before clutching the bedsheets into her hands and shouting out "I'm cumming" again. No matter what, her defenseless asshole will always be her weak point. Her pussy tightens up again and this time I can't handle it, pounding into her as hard as I can while curling upwards, gouging her insides out.

"Rin… I'm ugh- cumming too!" She weakly lifts her head up and turns to look at me.

"Shirou no, not like this… I want to embrace you while you do it…" Her honesty makes me lose control and I flip her over, without pulling out, and shove my cock as hard as I can into her, one last time, while wrapping my arms around her. "Ahhhhh!" She moans into my ear and wraps her legs tightly around my waist as I explode into her. I lightly thrust into her while I pump her full of my semen and eventually let my body go limp on top of her. "So hot! Mm! Shirou, I'm cumming… again!" She raises her head up and latches her lips onto mine, wrestling with my tongue as her poor pussy weakly orgasms one last time, squeezing out any leftover cum in my urethra to greedily gobble down into her womb. The sensation makes me moan into the kiss and after locking lips a while longer, I pull away and lower my head to suckle on her breasts while coming down from my high.

 _What in the hell did I just watch? My head is buzzing, and I feel as though I'm about to melt from what I just experienced. That sudden feeling of ecstasy at the end- what was that? It was short-lived, but it felt amazing. That's what 'cumming' means?_

After we bask in the afterglow for a while, Rin gets up from the bed and puts her clothes on, trying to not let the semen that's gushing out of her fall onto the floor by catching it in her panties. She pulls up her skirt and panties, filled with jizz, and snugly puts them around her waist, before putting on the rest of her outfit. She takes one step away from the bed and clears her throat.

"Alright Shirou, now… it's time." I knew it was. I wish it wasn't. I wish we never would've had to get into this situation, but unfortunately, we did. Unfortunately, we would have to use this option, as there was no other way. I just hope… everything works out… " **Ich wecke die Gezeiten der Magie und Krafte der alten Vergangenheit** …" Rin starts the spell and… _the floor, and the entire room, which had been completely dark until now, suddenly lights up from a blue magic circle spanning the entire floor being activated, of which Rin stands right in the middle of while she casts the spell. And the room… is a prison cell._

After that, I don't know what happened. I suddenly see the image pause and shatter before me, only to be greeted by the husk heaving and struggling in the middle of the cage. He dispelled my prying into his half of the mind. He gazes up at me with his one eye, filled with hatred and fury. "You bastard! Begone from here and never return! Keep your prying magic to yourself you damned freak!" And with that, the husk shoves me out of the cage and slams the door shut. As soon as the cage door clank shuts, I snap open my eyes and jolt straight up into my bed, breathing heavily.

My body is covered in sweat and my heart is pounding. "*huff*- Where- am I in my bed? A dream… of course, it was just a dream." _But that wasn't just a dream. It was a glimpse into my past, it had to have been. I never would've imagined I was in that intimate of a relationship with that Rin girl… She doesn't seem like my type at all._ I stand up from the bed and notice my "cock" is standing rock-hard in my pajama pants and is also covered in something thick and sticky. I pull down the pants to see the front of them, as well as my cock itself, covered and stained with the white substance that my dream form filled Rin's pussy with. I look at it in slight disgust and wonder how in the world I'll clean it, much less explain it to Luvia and Auguste. I take the pants off for now and walk over to the window to look up at the starry, night sky. _Those rain clouds from earlier finally finished their job and dispersed huh?_ My gaze falls down to the edge of the dark forest and becomes fixated on it. _Given everything that happened yesterday and last night, as well as what I just experienced… what do I do now?..._


	11. With More Answers Comes More Questions

I lean forward through the window and let myself fall out. I do as I did when Auguste dropped me and break into a roll before hitting the ground. I land on the flat of my left palm and roll onto my shoulders, while tucking my head in, before rolling on my back and into a sitting position on the ground. My rear was slightly sore from the imperfect bracing, but everything else was fine. I continue staring at the dark woods and look down at both my hands; the one covered in the nasty, velvet scar, and the one covered in the white, plaster cast. _Shirou… Emiya…_

This whole time everyone has been calling me "Emiya", but in that memory, Rin called me Shirou. _So, is it "Shirou" or "Emiya" or is it both?_ The words of the priest play back in my head and I remember he did mention something about multiple names; a given name and a namesake from your father. _Kirei said Emiya sounds like a namesake, so Shirou must be my given name. Emiya's the namesake of my father…_ I stand up from the cool, frosted grass and only then realize just how freezing cold it is outside. I, however, ignore it and keep on walking to the edge of the forest while thinking about how I can make sense of everything that happened. _Kirei basically told me what a child was, but he didn't explain what a father is, or at least, not in the non-Church aspect of it._ When I reach the edge of the woods, I grab a low-hanging branch from a tree and rip it off, taking it in with me. _So, who is my father and what significance does that person hold?_ If I tried to ask Auguste and Luvia, they'd probably just brush it off and try to ignore it any way they can. I could go to Kirei, but it's so late at night and the air is so cold and nippy that I don't think I could make it all the way back out there, much less expect Kirei to be up and waiting for me. I walk deeper and deeper into the woods, lost in my thoughts, unaware of the pairs of eyes along the trees, lightly glistening from the moonlight shining through the branches above.

Soon I find it too cold to bear and I conjure a bright flame in my hand, offering some temporary warmth. It was then that I realized I was surrounded. As soon as I lit the flame, I heard quick movement all around me amongst the trees and I heard growling and barking.

The North end of the woods isn't that large and it's the side the driveway goes through to lead out into the countryside. The South, however, is the much vaster side of this forest and expands farther away than I can even tell when looking out of the window in my room. I knew not what dwells here. I swallow nervously, unsure of what to do, seeing nothing more than quick-moving eyes running around me in a circle. I warily pulse more magic energy into my flame all at once to create an even bigger flare in my hand, upon which the swift figures of the creatures are revealed. Surrounding me is a band of about ten or so dogs. _No. Auguste had illustrated to me before what a dog is, and I saw several different kinds of hounds in town with Luvia yesterday. None of those were as big and limber as these monsters with coats so silver and ears so pointed and pronounced._ I fear what the creatures are and begin to hastily decide what to do. _The fire? Maybe the fire is attracting them to me?_ I look at the fire, unsure of what to do, and decide to take a chance.

I made the wrong choice.

As soon as the flame went out, I heard snarling and the rapid noises of their paws shifting and the formation of their circle breaking. I could tell vaguely where some of them are from the glistening of their eyes and the glimpses of moonlight being caught in their silver fur, but for the most part I was in the dark, blind. I quickly begin the spell to light my hand ablaze once more, but before I could, I hear a howl to my left and quick scampering to my right. On pure instinct, I take a big leap forward and only a split second after I do so, I feel the sharp fangs of the creature who ran up to me sink into the flesh of the back of my right thigh. With no pants, boxers, or any other form of clothing on, nothing prevents the monster's teeth from sinking deeply in and locking in place. "AGHHHH!" I cry out from the blinding pain and as soon as I do so, I hear the treading of all the other dog-like creatures accelerate and begin to home in on my position while the one attached to my thigh snarls while gnawing on my flesh. Right as the scampering of the creatures surrounds me and closes in only a few feet away, I hear something.

"Your weapon. Arm yourself."

I remember the branch I tucked under my arm when I conjured the flame in my hand and quickly reach for it.

As soon as I wrap my hand around the scraggly, rough branch, clarity returns to my mind. I stand up on my left leg and hear a searing noise emanating from my right thigh. A moment after the blistering noise, I hear the creature attached to said leg yelp in pain and run away, smoke emitting from its mouth. I look at where that mouth was just now to see flames flaring up from the holes its teeth left in my thigh, searing them shut with their heat. I naturally made them spring up to stop the ensuing blood from gushing out. The hulking creatures continue to close in, despite the small flames flickering behind my right leg and I turn forward to ready myself.

"These wolves…" _Wolves?_ The voice from earlier rings out once more. I briefly look up at the direction I thought I heard it coming from, but after quickly glancing back down at the wolves lunging at me, unfazed by the voice, I infer it must be in my head. "they are nothing to you. Display your might through your 'sword' to them. Exhibit the gift you've been given." At the voice's command, all at once I enact every skill this body has come to acquire.

In my left hand, holding the branch, I effortlessly cast Reinforcement on it, gracing the faces of the hellish wolves with the bright, blue glow. I immediately entrance Reinforcement on my right arm's cast as well, creating a gauntlet the wolves cannot break through. I notice once more that everything seems to be happening so slowly as I carry these processes out, the wolves gliding at me through the air slower than a snail's pace, the leaves of the forest floor blowing away from them as their paws kick off to propel them forward, and the swaying of the branches above as the winds of the night rush throughout them. The only thing not slowed is myself and the rushing processes of my mind. Then, I close my eyes. I close my eyes and once again remember Luvia's words.

 _I can strengthen things other than the destructive force of my blade._ As the thought occurs to me, the growling of the wolves grows louder and louder and even louder still. Then their breathing, their heartbeat, and even the soft noises of their hair bristles brushing against each other as they fly at me through the air. All of it. I can hear everything. Time picks up as normal. The wolves are only breaths away. And so, I strike.

The wolf to my front is closer than the others, so I lower my left hand, branch ready… and quickly jab it upwards, feeling a brief resistance and then smooth piercement as I drive the branch into its chest cavity and out through its back. I feel its warm blood gush out and covet my arm and, using all my might, I swing the shanked wolf to my left and feel the impact of it colliding into another, shattering both their bone structures, as they both screech out in pain. The wolf flies away, followed shortly behind by the corpse of the one wrapped around my branch which flew off of it from the force of the swing. As I raise my cast-enhanced right hand up in a quick uppercut to collide into and shatter the jaw of the wolf that was inches away from biting into my head, I hear the voice continue.

"Just as you have the strength to deal with these wolves…" I swing the branch in a wide arc in front of me, hitting two wolves across their heads, shattering their skulls while jumping up for the last of them to collide into each other beneath me as I was unable to strike them all down before they enclosed. "so will you be able to overcome the 'wolves' plaguing you in the other aspects of your life." I glare down at the wolves who crashed into each other, yet wasted no time in returning their evil looks upon me and raising their flared jaws up to snap at my feet that were just out of their reach in the air. I then straighten out and dive back down, feet first, to stomp upon the gnashing teeth of two wolves which broke and shattered when the weight and force of my stomp pincered their heads with the earth below.

The last wolf, which barely escaped from beneath the bodies of its two freshly killed brethren, limped away, having its right leg broken in half from the dogpile that I forcefully crashed into. "As for Auguste and Luvia, yes, they manipulate you and yes, they keep many secrets from you, …" This, however doesn't discourage the blood-thirsty wolf and it lunges at me straight-on, in a last-ditch effort to take my life as I did all its fallen kin. "but even still, they love you. With all of their hearts. As do I." When the wolf is right in front of me, jaws wide open, ready to overcome the last few inches to sink them into me, I shed a tear in sadness.

I cry at the words of the man speaking to me and at all the pointless loss of life I had to conduct. But, even still, I won't die in this creature's place. I raise the hand clasping the branch up and behind my back and lower the arm covered in my cast down and to the side of my waist. When the beast's mouth comes face-to-face with me, I connect the base of the branch and the fist of my cast together with all my strength, sandwiching and crushing the head of the wolf between them. "So, continue down the path you're headed and know that no matter what, regardless of what you do or where you end up, I will never give you more than you can handle…"

As the lifeless body of the final wolf falls from between my hands, I collapse with it. I heavily gasp for air while on my knees, realizing once again I hadn't been breathing and weakly lift my gaze to see one last wolf staring at me from behind a tree a few armlengths away. The one wolf unaccounted for, the one wolf that didn't engage with the others. I'm glad it hadn't, not only because I didn't want to kill anymore, but because that display of strength was very taxing and left me exhausted. I feel as if it decided to follow up with them, it may have been able to finish the job.

I stare at the wolf a while longer until it diverts its gaze from me and lunges into the darkness behind it. I reinforce my eyesight to try and see if it was really running off, but as soon as I adjust it to where I can see through the darkness, the wolf is nowhere to be found. I get up and feel pain shoot through my right thigh and the pads of both of my feet. Along with the bite into my thigh, my feet were also penetrated by the wolves' fangs whenever I crushed their skulls with my feet after stepping on their open jaws. I once again will the fire to lick at the wounds, searing them shut, while I bite my bottom lip to fight through the pain.

After much limping and staggering, I finally find myself back at the mansion. I hadn't realized how far away I went or how long I was gone until I saw the light of dawn breaking through the trees when I arrived home. I look down to see both my arms and legs covered in blood, whether from the wolves or my own, and I walk along the edge of the mansion until I reach Luvia's garden at the west side of the yard. I admire the varying colors of flowers while I uncoil the long garden hose and turn the knob to let the water course through it. The cold water makes me shiver while I hastily wash the dried blood from my body, but I try to ignore it while getting the blood off me as quickly as possible. I notice the blood that fell on my cast stained it and I began to wonder what to do to fix it.

 _I don't want Luvia to know I encountered those wolves, much less that I killed them, so maybe I should just get rid of the cast._ I'm no doctor, but I figured my hand had to at least be almost done healing by now, so I grab onto the cast with my left hand and begin reinforcing it. Instead of just reinforcing it as normal, I recreate what I did to the bedpost and I make the cast shatter and explode in my hand. I unravel the cloth that was beneath the cast from around my forearm and reveal my right arm to me once more. It seemed so weird and foreign. The arm was a shade whiter than the rest of my body, the fingernails on the three fingers that were concealed beneath the cast were untrimmed and longer than the rest, and the forearm was slightly thinner than my left which had grown from being used more.

Once I'm finished, I make sure to put the hose up just as it was, and I look one last time at the flowers and the pink camellias amongst them catch my eyes. I remember the dream about sex and all that happened yesterday, as well as what just happened with those wolves, and realize I gained little from the midnight stroll meant to clear my mind other than gain even more questions. I walk away from the garden and to the edge of the woods while pulling off my bloodstained shirt to wrap around the remnants of the cast. I ignite the bundle and feed magic into it until it degrades into nothing more than ashes in my hands. I throw the ashes into the forest and begin walking away. I decide to build upon my earlier decision to find the answers to my question without the help of Luvia and Auguste, while walking towards the side of the house my room's window was on. My destination: Luvia's private library.

After clambering up the side of the wall, with much difficulty due to me forgetting to drop my sheet ladder before falling down, I enter into my room only to see my bed was made and the pajama pants I left on the floor were now gone. _How in the world am I going to explain that mess to Auguste when I see him?_ I forget about the thought for now and quickly grab a new pair of briefs, pants, and shirt and begin clothing myself. I reflect on last night and realize I walked into the woods half-naked and then climbed up the house completely, stark naked. _Luvia and Auguste would have a heart attack if they heard about that, not to mention if they actually saw it._ I stop pondering about my naked venture into the woods after I put on my slippers and I then head into the hallway to make my way to Luvia's library.

I only visited Luvia's library once and I didn't even go inside of it. She had said she needed a specific book from her library before we started our lesson and brought me there to grab it, but made me stand outside of the door, in the hallway, and wait. When I questioned her about what a library is, she was very hesitant to answer, but she finally explained that it's a room with knowledge about everything you could possibly want to know. If she was telling the truth, my answers lied there. It was quite a while back when she brought me there, but I feel certain I can still find it.

After just a few minutes of searching, I recognize the doorway to her library. I reach down and turn the handle and, unsurprisingly, it's locked. I close my eyes without removing my hand from the handle while I analyze the structure of the lock in my mind. After gaining a good idea of how it functions, I reinforce the lock and force the mechanism to shift and unlock while keeping a steady flow of magic energy into it. I half-expected the attempt to fail, but based on Luvia's comment about how Reinforcement could do something such as making a light bulb shine brighter, I assumed I could force any object to perform its function, so long as it was simple. I'm pleased to see my assumption was correct.

Upon entering the library, I'm stunned to see how many books were in there. I should've known it would consist of mostly books, seeing as how Luvia stated it had all the knowledge I could want, but the sheer amount was insane. Even more shocking than that was how unorganized the room was. The books are stuffed into the many shelves with as much as they could fit, and the floor is covered in pile after pile of even more books. Some of these piles reach up almost all the way to the ceiling. After looking through a few of the books, I find there's no specific order to their placement and I soon start to feel discouraged I'll even find one that can help answer my questions. I look around the room a while longer and soon find myself in the back next to a table with a strange device on it. There was a box on the table with a screen and it seemed reminiscent of the magical thing in one of the diners Luvia took me to that was referred to as a tv. This object was fairly smaller though and next to it stood a large rectangular box with a few buttons on it and a little, flashing red light. In front of the tv-like object is a rectangular pad with a bunch of buttons all over it that consist of the alphabet, the basic one-digit numbers, and quite a few strange symbols and punctuations. Next to it sat a small oval-shaped object with a wheel embedded in the top of it near the front and it has a wire running from it and into the rectangular box next to the tv-device along with another wire coming from the board filled with buttons. I decide to not mess with the overwhelming and elaborate-looking setup and instead focus on the book next to the board of buttons titled "Dictionary." Inside of it are hundreds upon thousands of words, each with a detailed explanation of its meaning right next to it. _This… is exactly what I needed._

The first word I look up is "father". Thankfully, the words are put in the book alphabetically, so it doesn't take me too long to find it. There are two explanations as to what it is, one being the one Kirei explained to me about the title of respect amongst the Church's people, and the other explains it is a male parent of a child. _"Parent"?_ I look up parent and it just explains that it is a mother or father to a child. _"Mother"?_ I look up mother and it gives a similar explanation to what a father is, but that it's the female version of it. _Maybe I should try looking up child…_ I look up child and it essentially gives the same definition as Kirei did. _I recall Kirei talking about a stage of humanity that comes before a child… a fetus._ Upon looking it up, I can't quite understand what it is from the definition, but one of the words it uses catches my attention: "conception". From its definition I look up "conceive" and from that I get "impregnate". I close the book. I didn't need to look up that last word because I had already heard it once before. In the dream I had with Rin, whenever I filled her with my semen, the word "impregnate" was engraved into my knowledge. I didn't know what that meant, but I knew it was what I did to Rin. After the investigation I conducted in the "Dictionary", I now knew. I filled her with my "semen" that caused something inside of her known as "conception" or "impregnation" from which a "fetus" was wrought. That "fetus" will eventually grow into a "child", of which would make Rin the "mother" and I the "father" or together, the "parents". _So, Rin has a fetus, a child, no, a human growing inside of her? This is insane…_ I remember what Auguste told me, about God having made the first two humans out of dirt and realize this conflicts with what I just learned. I open the dictionary once more to look up "God". _It says he's the creator of everything and the supreme ruler of all. So… are both true?_ I scratch my head in confusion and shut the book again, deciding it probably wouldn't be able to explain that question for me.

I look around for a while longer at a few more books, hoping to find something else useful, but gave up after finding nothing anywhere near as insightful as the Dictionary. I leave the room and take a moment to make the door lock itself, before heading toward the staircase to make my way into the foyer. _I now have some answers, finally. I'm going to confront those two and demand they tell me where I'm from and who my father is. My father… the one from which I came. The "Emiya" before myself._

When I reach the top of the stairway, I stop in my tracks from a noise. _Crying?_ I look down at the foyer to see Auguste kneeling next to a sobbing Luvia wrapped in a blanket sitting in a chair that looks as if it was pulled from the dining room. "Auguste… it's my fault!" Luvia was hysterically crying while she struggled to talk. Auguste rubbed her shoulder lightly while trying to console her.

"No, miss Luvia, it's not. We just did all we could under the conditions given to us and that, sadly, wasn't enough." Luvia continued to cry and whimper while rubbing her eyes which were already puffy and red, indicating she had been at it for quite a while now. _She's been crying. Ever since she woke up and saw I was gone she has been crying. She thinks she chased me away…_ "Miss Luvia… if it's anyone's fault, it is mine. I shouldn't have taught him things that would only lead him into confusion. I knew it would complicate things, but I-I… I just couldn't sit by and concede to what was happening…" Luvia looks at him with her teary eyes and rapidly shakes her head.

"No Auguste, no! I won't let you feel at fault. What you decided to do was the right choice and deep down inside, I always thought it was too." I finally reach the bottom of the stairs, but remain there, unsure of how to approach the situation. Auguste notices me and his eyes light up in shock, but Luvia continues talking, not noticing my presence. "He's been gone all morning Auguste… do you think he's ever coming back? Was I really so horrible to him he had to run away?" Auguste smiled down at her and cleared his throat before answering.

"Perhaps… you should ask him that yourself." Auguste looked up at me once more and Luvia turned her head to follow his gaze and her teary, amber eyes widened in shock.

"Emiya!"

She quickly jumped up from her chair and before I could even say anything, she was right up against me, face buried into my chest and arms wrapped tightly around me. "Emiyaaaaa!" She called out my name once again and continued to cry into my chest. The weight of her against me proves too much for my injured feet and I fall down onto the bottom stair, but that doesn't stop Luvia from staying wrapped around me. I expected some harsh words to begin pouring out of her after a while such as "how could you" or "never do that again" or "you're the worst student ever", but they never came. Instead, she stayed nuzzled up into me occasionally letting out an "I'm sorry" or "please forgive us" while her crying slowly died down as she stayed cuddled up to me. Auguste walked up to me and exchanged a few words with me like "glad to see you're back" and "I'm sorry for the miss being so clingy at the moment". Auguste and I finish chatting after a bit and I turn my attention back to Luvia. She was still in her pajamas and her golden hair was still down and not fixed and curled as it usually is. I play with her unkempt hair and lightly rub her back while she stays latched on to me, whispering reassuring words to her while I do so. _I guess I'll wait till later before I confront them about what I learned. I don't think Luvia could handle me saying anything harsh to her at the moment and I personally don't want to ruin this moment by doing so either way._ Luvia raises her head up from my chest finally and looks at me with her sad eyes. "Emiya… where did you go? I thought you were never coming back…" I saw her tearing up again and I quickly responded before she started crying again.

"I just went out for a walk to clear my head, Luvia. I wasn't going anywhere, I promise." She looks into my eyes for a while as if she was trying to see within me to determine if I was telling the truth. She eventually lowers her head back down to my chest and then says something that shocks me.

"Please Emiya… don't ever leave me again."

I don't know how long we stayed embraced at the bottom of the stairs like that, but Luvia eventually fell asleep. _I came here expecting to chew them out for keeping me in the dark this whole time, but it looks like they flipped it on me. How did I end up feeling like the villain here?_ Auguste returns to the room eventually with some tea, but notices Luvia fell asleep. "Ah, I see she dozed off. She must be tuckered out from all that crying. She already didn't get enough sleep. She couldn't go to bed because of how troubled she was from that argument with you when you two got home, so she went to check on you late last night. It was then she discovered you were gone, but she at first assumed you were just somewhere within the mansion. After she couldn't find you anywhere, she awoke me and stayed up all night weeping." _Thanks, Auguste. Now I feel even more like a villain than I already did._ Auguste grabs the blanket Luvia left on the chair and leans down to wrap her in it. "I should return her to her bed now. She needs to be well rested, for I'm sure tonight you have quite a lot you wish to discuss with us." I nod my head as he lifts Luvia up and into his arms before slowly ascending the stairs. I look at him as he walks up them.

"Hey Auguste… I did something really stupid this time, didn't I?" He glances back over his shoulder at me while I ask him the question.

"Oh, but of course. It was stupid, very stupid indeed. Though, I suppose you could say we two have been acting pretty stupid this whole time as well." I smile at his reassuring words and feel an understanding has been reached between us. I begin to walk up behind him on the staircase and then remember one other thing I wanted to mention to him.

"Oh yeah, Auguste, while I was walking last night I could've sworn I heard some wolves howling in the forest out back. Are they a common problem here?" Auguste stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me once more.

"Wolves? Where in the world did you hear about those? Regardless, no they are not a problem here. They haven't been a problem here for quite a while now actually. There are no more wolves in the UK, they've all gone extinct."

 _What? There aren't any wolves here?_

"Well, save for the few in the zoos and such. What you probably heard while you were out on your walk last night were some wild curs howling, probably abandoned by their masters. That's not to say wild dogs aren't dangerous in their own right, however." Once Auguste was done explaining, he finished ascending the stairs and walked off to bring Luvia to her room, leaving me on the stairs, dumbfounded.

I walk through the underbrush of the forest while thinking about what Auguste said. _Maybe those things I encountered really were just dogs? No, they were definitely wolves. How could I make up something I only just learned about the moment I encountered it?_

I came out here again just to reaffirm what I went through. I remember the voice that spoke to me while I fought off the wolves and explained to me what they were as I walked and eventually I reached the clearing the fight took place in. And the clearing… was empty. There were no wolves, no blood, and no smell of death in the air. I began to doubt myself of whether this was really the spot or not, but then I found the branch I used to fight them with and some scorched leaves that were burned from the flames I seared my feet's wounds shut with. _Maybe something carried the corpses off? No, the blood of them would still be left behind and I doubt anything could carry off all those bodies in the amount of time I was gone, much less need to do so._ I find a little bit of blood on the leaves that were charred, but I quickly assume it was my own. _It's almost like they disappeared magically or that the fight never even happened… Like I was fighting with myself._

When I finally reach my room again after trekking all the way back to the mansion, I realize how great the pain in both my feet and in my right thigh are from all the walking. It then occurs to me, if the fight never happened, how'd I get these injuries? I quickly pull off my pants and my boxers and surely enough, on my right thigh lies the nasty bite mark of one of the wolves, surrounded by bright red skin that was burned while I seared the wounds shut. Similar marks were on my feet.

 _What… what does this mean? Those wolves- were they real or not?_ I recall the mysticism of the whole situation and how the whole time a loud, clear voice spoke to me in my head, almost as if it completely surrounded me. _Who was that? Was he the one who made the wolves attack me?_ I continue looking over the wound on my thigh in the body-length mirror and I decide to just lay to rest the strange occurrence for now. _I don't need to keep that on my mind. I have to clear my mind and focus to prepare for when I talk to Luvia and Auguste tonight._

My gaze drifts up from the wound on my thigh and to my two arms which were each equally unpleasant to look at now. My right hand is still stiff and aches slightly, but seems to be working fine. I take note of how a few of my fingers are slightly crooked. I let my gaze continue upward until I find myself staring directly into my own eyes.

The reflection it mirrors back to me is the person I truly am; Shirou Emiya. _You know, before I couldn't fathom how Rin and I used to be in a relationship together and, while I still can't see how it worked, I now do see the similarities between us that must've been what attracted us to one another. Our personalities are completely different, so it must've been these physical features that are so closely related which made us pair well together._ I think all of this as I stare deeply into my azure blue eyes and gaze up at my charcoal black hair that so perfectly imitates that of Rin's own…


	12. A Child's Purpose I

After I put my clothes on, I decide to occupy my time until Luvia wakes up by doing some meditation and magic practice. I look over my room after deciding this and take note of how different it was from my previous. This room is much more spacious and had many more features, such as a desk, couch, wall mirror, and window. The door here is wooden too… _And unlike when I lived in that room, they don't lock the door every night anymore…_ I turn to my right, away from the mirror, to look at the door upon realizing this and I notice Auguste patched up the hole I made in it. _I wonder if Auguste fixed everything else I broke?_ With that, I walk to the door and into the hallway and begin making my way to the old room.

The roof was patched up, painted over, and whatever circuitry that ran through it to power the hall was also repaired, seeing as the lights were now back on. As for the room, the wall, doorway, and floor, they're also good as new, save for the paint which Auguste must've not had time to get to. _Auguste sure is efficient…_ I realize he accomplished more in that one day Luvia gave him than the time I helped him by a large margin. The only things left that need to be done are the paint for the wall and doorway, a new door, and some replacements for the few pieces of furniture I broke. I enter the room and notice the light switch is missing from the new wall Auguste put up, indicating he didn't finish all the electrician work. It's fine anyways, meditation works better in a dark place. I sit down at about where I stood on the floor when I blew off the wall and the roof and reach into my shirt to feel around my chest for the gift Luvia gave me. While we were out in town yesterday, Luvia bought me a thin, leather-braided necklace and had a jeweler mount the diamond onto it, turning it into a beautiful pendant. Once I placed my hand on it, I detach it from around my neck and admired it for a moment. I look down at my right hand and decide I should try conducting magic through it as well, so I clasp the diamond tightly in it.

Ever since Luvia gifted this diamond to me, I've been making sure to fill it with magic energy every day after she explained how important it is for me to do so. Even last night while I cried myself to sleep, I clasped the necklace in my hand and pooled some magic energy into it. I'm a bit scared of how well I'll be able to do it with my right hand, but I realize my worries are unwarranted after I establish the magic flow and begin transferring it as normal. I do notice it's significantly harder to keep the flow going compared to when I use my left hand, but it's still doable. I can't really gauge how much 25 percent is, so I decided the indicator I'll use to stop is when I start getting a bit light-headed. Once I get to this point, I realize my breathing grew heavier as I filled the gem and I wipe the sweat beads from my brow while putting the necklace back on. _I'm still not sure what the point of filling this gem is. According to Luvia, whenever I decide to use it, not only will it be one-time use, but the gem is going to shatter. I'd much rather just keep it as the beautiful necklace it is._ Once the gift is safely back under my shirt, I adjust my kneeling position into a cross-legged one to prepare for meditation.

That's a lie, of course. While I do want to meditate, and I do know it is an important part of being a mage, the real reason I want to "meditate", the real reason I came back to this scary room, is because I want to invoke the dreams of swords once more. It's not that I haven't been seeing them ever since I left this room, but they've been much sparser. Whether it's due to the change in location or because of the sudden nightmares with the husk man, I do not know, but I figured returning to this room would help. And so, I close my eyes and steady my breathing. Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth. Start with five-second inhalations and exhalations and make them longer with each consecutive one. Soon, I enter the state of unconsciousness that I strive to reach every time during meditation. I call it "aware napping", but Luvia said that's not a proper way to refer to it. It's essentially exactly the same as sleep, but the only difference is I'm completely aware of my surroundings and I can awake whenever I want. Luvia told me it's some kind of self-suggestion, but I don't like thinking about the technical aspects of things. If I can achieve it, I do it; If I can't achieve it, I don't. It's as simple as that. At first, I don't see anything; just myself in the dark space that is the room. After a moment though, I hear distant clashing of steel against steel. I focus on that noise and single it out amongst the silence and I listen closely as the sounds of battle gets closer.

When the sounds become so loud that they appear to be in the room itself, they do just that. The darkness of the room is stroked over, and the scene of a duel is painted in front of me. _Yes, this is what I've been wanting to see for the longest time. These two men fighting one another._ As always, the men are featureless and look as though they are figures made of shadows, swinging their swords. It's almost as if I'm watching floating blades fight each other. One thing that I notice is different, however, is that the paired swords of one of the men are now revealed to me. They're the swords I always projected in the dreams with the husk; the tortoise shell-patterned, black and silver swords. I realize only then that I couldn't see the swords they fought with before. All I could see were "beautiful swords".

It's hard to describe, but it's like having a dream where you eat a dish that you've never tasted before, but can discern a certain taste of it in that dream. Whether it's an accurate taste of what the dish actually is or not doesn't matter, only that in that dream, the dish had a taste and regardless of the taste, you can tell whether it's good or bad. I can tell the "taste" of these swords I've never seen before and it's a good one. I guess in this regard, other than those paired, curved swords which I can clearly see now, I was watching them fight with shadows of swords. _Shadows of men fighting with shadows of swords…_ If I had to describe it in one phrase it would be: "I see two fake men fighting with the aspects of swords." Though after seeing the paired swords, I suppose it's now two fake men and only one fighting with the aspect of a sword… Just like the heinous killing intent of both of the men, the lack of form of the swords were overshadowed all this time by the beautiful skill they both exhibited. The dream follows the same trend as it always does, it keeps going with no victor being decided. But every time I have this dream, I watch it a bit longer. And with every few seconds more I see, I see more of the techniques and skills of each of these men. _My only hope is that one day I can watch the dream long enough to see how it ends._

Just as always, the dream fades away and ends before I want it to and my eyes slowly flutter open and I look around in the darkness of the room. I turn around to look at the window to see the sun's position to gauge what time it is, but then remember I'm in the old room that lacks a window. I hear a creak near the doorway and jump to my feet, instantly igniting both of my hands while entering a fighting stance. The glow from the flames illuminates the face of a very alarmed Auguste who turns the screwdriver in his hand one last time to fasten the screw of the light switch in place before flicking it on. I squint at the brightness of the light while extinguishing my hands and firmly placing them to my sides in embarrassment. "S-Sorry, Auguste, you startled me there." Auguste places the screwdriver in his little, red tool box on the floor and then closes it and locks it up.

"I should say the same. Earlier when I first arrived here, I didn't expect in the slightest you'd be here meditating. I dare say I almost shot you right where you sat when I noticed your presence." I sweat nervously at the thought that I almost died without even being aware of it.

I helped Auguste gather all of his tools and supplies while we talked about why I decided to meditate in my old room and about the dream I just had. "I don't know, master Emiya. Your dreams are a bit over my head. Have you discerned any possible reason for the dreams yet?" I thought about it while I grabbed the small box the lightbulb he replaced was in off the floor.

"Other than my abnormal love of swords, no I haven't found out the meaning of them. Maybe it _is_ just because of a simple reason like that?" Auguste lifts up his tool box and walks into the hallway, upon which I follow him while flicking off the light behind me.

"Perhaps, but I love the mystical aspects of life, so this old soul would prefer it if they have some bigger, grand meaning." He laughs at his statement and I take a moment to consider his words. _Regardless of whether they have an important meaning or not, that's not what's important right now. I'm ready to begin the interrogation. Though, I suppose I'll wait a bit longer until Luvia is with us._ "By the way, master Emiya, what happened to your cast? I noticed earlier today when you returned that it was missing, but I didn't comment on it then." I look down at my hand and flex it once or twice.

"I just broke it off. I got tired of it getting in the way and being a hindrance and I figured my arm had enough time to heal." Auguste sighs while continuing to walk.

"You did almost the same exact thing with the bandages we had on your left arm. I don't think you're qualified to decide when they come off, sir…"

"Hey, Auguste?" He looks over at me after I call for his attention, not stopping as we walk down the hallway. "Um… about my night pants… are you, uh, done washing them? They're kinda my most favorite pair, so I'd like to have them back as soon as possible…" I assumed not mentioning the embarrassing part would be best for now. Maybe he'll understand and not bring it up and we can just forget it, whatever "it" was, ever happened.

"Your night pants? I haven't gathered your clothes hamper as of recent, nor have I done any laundry either. I'm not quite sure which night pants you are referring to, I shouldn't have any." _He didn't pick them up?!_

"Are you sure Auguste? They were lying on my bedroom floor last I knew, and when I looked back they were gone. You didn't grab them when you came and made my bed last night?" His face became puzzled and he shook his head.

"Yes, master Emiya, I'm certain. I didn't even make your bed, nor did I go to your room last night." His answer made me even more nervous, but I quickly calmed myself down as we arrived at Auguste's room and he took the items from my hands to place back where he got them from. _The bed… it probably wasn't even made, and if it was, I probably just tidied it up before I went out into the woods. I was really emotional, so I could've just forgot. And as for the pants, they probably got kicked under my bed or my dresser when I slung them off…_

Auguste led me back to my room and brought with him an extra chair from his own. "What's the chair for, Auguste?" He placed it in front of the couch, across from the coffee table, and gestured to the fireplace with his hand.

"Would you mind starting a fire, master Emiya? As for the chair, it is a third seat for myself. We will begin the meeting now. Once I go retrieve miss Luvia, that is. As you can see," Auguste gestures to the window behind me "dusk has already begun to set, and the talks will no doubt draw on for a long time, so it's best if we start now." I nervously swallow and nod at him before turning to pick up a few pieces of firewood from the pile next to the chimney. _This is it… no more secrets…_ I hear Auguste turn on his heel and walk towards the doorway. "I will go prepare some tea and awaken miss Luvia. We will be back shortly." I nod at him as he swiftly exits before placing the wood atop the soot in the fireplace and then dropping a small orb of fire on top of it. The orb bursts as if it were a drop of water and spreads across all the logs.

I lay down across the couch and notice a strong smell. I pull my shirt up to my nose and realize the musk is coming from me. _All that sweating last night and today and the only thing I've had even close to a bath is that little hose shower in the garden. It's no wonder I smell so strongly right now._ "Hmm, I could take a bath, but I don't want Auguste and Luvia to get here and have to wait. I also don't want to miss out on any time that can be spent asking questions…" _It's probably impolite to them, but I'll just deal with it and say sorry if they mention it._

I continued to stare at the ceiling while I waited for Auguste and Luvia. After a while of doing this, I sit up, getting ready to go check on them and see what's taking so long, but then I hear the knob turn and the door slowly open. Auguste walks in with a tray full of ornate cups and a teapot in the middle and followed shortly behind him is Luvia, who is back to looking like her dignified, lady-like self. Auguste places the tray down on the coffee table and Luvia stands next to him, waiting, as he pours each of us a cup… much to my displeasure. As soon as he's done, he steps over to his chair and sits down, crossing his right leg over his left and intertwining his fingers on his lap, patiently waiting for Luvia to sit so we can get started. The problem is, Luvia wasn't sitting. She's staring at me with an embarrassed expression and the word "nervous" was practically painted boldly over her amber irises. "Miss Luvia? Are you going to join us?" She looks over at Auguste and reaches up to fidget with her hair while she stammers.

"I-I… can I maybe sit on the chair, Auguste? It's just that this dress wrinkles so easily and the couch is difficult to sit on with posture and…" Auguste chuckles softly while smiling. _Is there a joke I'm missing?_

"Is there a problem you have with sitting next to master Emiya?" She stops combing through her hair when he asks this, but her fingers keep shaking, indicating she's still nervous.

"No Auguste! There's no problem at all with Emiya, but… but the couch is really small… and we'd be sitting really c-close… together." As she talked, her figure shrunk more and more as her face got brighter from embarrassment. Auguste continues to giddily chuckle before standing up and walking over to join me, sitting in the same exact position he was in on his chair. Luvia takes his spot and locks eyes with me for a moment before quickly jerking her head away and staring into the fire. _No seriously, what's the joke?_

The humorous tone quickly fled once we were all situated, sitting down. Luvia clears her throat after taking a long, drawn-out sip from her tea. "Well then, Emiya, Auguste… I suppose we should start now." Auguste nods while staring down at his cup of tea next to mine, both of which remained untouched. Auguste speaks up while keeping his gaze lowered to the cup.

"Well Emiya, I know the gist of what happened yesterday and I'm sure you learned a lot and gained many more questions. Seeing how our current position is, I'd assume we won't be able to move forward unless we answer them all for you, correct?" _Of course. I'm missing the first 19, almost 20, years of my life. Considering how long just these few months have been, those years must hold so much important time. I have to know. And I have to know now._

"Yes, Auguste. I'm going to need the truth from both of you. And if for whatever reason you two can't tell me, I'm going to leave this place and go somewhere I can find answers." Upon my last few words, Luvia jumped forward in her seat slightly with scared eyes as if she wanted to say something, but then sat back and returned to looking away from me. Auguste just stared at his tea with his unreadable expression.

"Fair enough, master Emiya. Depending on how much you already know, there may be no point in keeping you in the dark anymore regardless." Luvia looked forward and nodded, her expression now as serious as Auguste's.

"That's right. I don't think our secrecy is a promise we can keep anymore. Now, Emiya, what would you like to know?" The three main questions I'd been sitting on all day, the ones I want to know more than anything else. I poured them out of my mouth the moment the last word left hers.

"My mother! Who is she?! My father as well, who is he? My parents, who are they? Why didn't you tell me about the relationship I had with Rin? And why did you keep the name 'Shirou' a secret from me?!" I didn't mean to shout it out at them, nor did I mean to ask all of the questions at once, but that's just how it came out. Luvia's face is full of shock at my questions and she open and closes her mouth as if to talk, but no words come out. I look over at Auguste and even he looks shocked at what I asked, and his mouth as well is slightly ajar. Luvia suddenly says, "I… I didn't realize you already knew so much. How did you even… no, it doesn't matter how you found out. Your questions already indicate you know the answers to them. Rhetorical questions, is it? What, is this just a display to us to show how much you already know?" Luvia's gaze and tone became defensive towards me while she talked.

 _I already know? What does that mean? Why would I ask if I knew? Those questions are genuine…_ Auguste spoke up to continue where Luvia left off. "Well, regardless of how you know this, I'll confirm your information for you. Yes, your mother is Rin Tohsaka, and yes, your father is Shirou Emiya." My eyes widen, and my head draws a blank at what he tells me. I follow his gaze down to the two cups of tea and look at my own reflection in the dark liquid, where I can barely make out the blue of my eyes and the darkness of my hair.

"My… mother and… Shirou Emiya?"


	13. A Child's Purpose II

It took me a moment to realize the meaning behind Auguste's words. My mind went to thinking That I, Shirou Emiya, had a son with Rin Tohsaka who is also me. After realizing that's impossible, it clicks in my head that there's a third party unaccounted for in what I'm thinking: the man who is the actual Shirou Emiya, my father. I stop thinking about it when I see Luvia reach into the front of her dress just as I did in my own shirt earlier when I was looking for my pendant. She finally finds what she's reaching around for and pulls out a small, golden locket on a thin chain wrapped around her neck. After unlatching it, she hands the necklace to me and I carefully wrap my hand around it, fearing how expensive it might be.

"Open it, Emiya." I do just as she says and, after looking around for the small clasp of the locket and clicking it off, the locket snaps open and inside is a picture of three people. I instantly recognize the faces of Rin and Luvia, but there's a man behind the two I don't know. "That's your parents, Emiya. You've already seen Rin, but you've yet to meet your father. The man standing behind us is Shero, your father." Luvia answers the question I was pondering for me. _So, this is Shirou Emiya… not me._

After she informs me as to who the man is, I begin to see the similarities between us. Our face structures are very similar, and our builds are both slim, but are still muscular… even our hairstyles are almost the exact same. The picture is in black and white and according to their attire, I assume it was meant to be formal, but Rin and Luvia are pinching each other's faces and pulling their hair with looks of hatred. _They can't even put aside their rivalry for a normal picture?_ The only one who seemed to be taking the picture seriously was Shirou, but… I could tell even though Rin and Luvia were fighting each other in the picture, they were still enjoying themselves, but the same cannot be said about Shirou. His face was so, so sad. _Maybe sad isn't the right word, I'd say it looked more stern and serious._ The most prominent thing about him are his eyes. I can't describe the vibe they gave off, but if I had to, I would say they held the same expression as his face. I close the locket and hand it back to Luvia while thinking as to why he looked so haunted and I couldn't shake the feeling that I've seen those eyes before somewhere.

"As I said before Emiya, I have no idea how you figured out your relationship with them, but maybe it's for the best you did. We don't have to keep our promise to them if you found out what we were keeping a secret from you on your own." _My parents made them keep all this a secret? Why?_

"Why wouldn't they want me to know, Luvia?" She fastens the locket around her neck again and places it within her dress while she answers.

"A lot of things happened, Emiya. I'm sure you also noticed Rin and Shero are about the same age as me which would make you older than both your mother and father?" I felt my hair stand on end at the scary fact she just pointed out. _I'm older than both of my parents? That's right… they did look as old as Luvia and Luvia told me I'm two years older than her._

"I… didn't notice that Luvia, no. What does that mean though? Shouldn't that be impossible?" Luvia nods her head, donning an expression just as confused as mine.

"It should be, yes. And trust me when I say Auguste and I may have been keeping many secrets from you, but how your existence is possible isn't one of them. We have no idea how or when you were born. I only found out you existed the day I met you and had to take you here." _What does that even mean?_ It doesn't sound like I'll be able to figure out how me being alive is a possibility from Auguste and Luvia because they both seem as genuinely confused about the subject as I am. _I don't doubt they're my parents, though. I was able to pull off Rin's spell, Gandr, almost seamlessly and I assume my adeptness in Reinforcement is also due to my father. Maybe the same even applies for my fire magic? I probably inherited my skills in that field from one of them too. And putting the magic aside, I look just like them, anyone would think we're related. Wait, so this probably means that dream I had with Rin wasn't between her and I, but between her and my father. Could that have been the memory of me being conceived?_ One thing about all of this that's the most confusing though, is that I have no knowledge, no morals, no wisdom, and no memory from all those years of my life. _It's almost as though my life before now was frozen in place and suspended as time went on._

I decide to just focus on the other matter at hand; why they were keeping my relationship with my parents a secret. "Anyways, putting that aside for now, Luvia, why did they want to keep it a secret?" Luvia takes a sip of her tea and gets comfortable before she answers.

"To answer that, we'll have to go a bit further back to before you started living here, before I met you. You see, your father, Shero, and your mother, Rin, are both mages like me and they also happen to study and learn at the same institution as I, the Clock Tower." The image of that giant tower that I had the horrible headache at and the café across from it where I met Kirei rush into my mind. "They arrived there not too long ago, actually. It must be a little over a year at this point. Rin and I never got along from the get-go, but I did enjoy the company of Shero and I even hired him to do some work for me in this very mansion." She gestured around her when she mentioned the mansion and then her expression grew glum. "But… I never knew much about their life before they enrolled at the Clock Tower. Neither of them ever wished to talk about it, especially not Shero who I never squeezed even the slightest detail out of. I was lucky to even find out his last name. There were rumors amongst the mages of the Clock Tower that they were participants in the Fifth Fuyuki Holy Grail War, but I never believed them, even if they were both from Fuyuki."

 _Fuyuki? The Holy Grail War? I assume Fuyuki must be a place, but what's the Holy Grail War?_ I guess it must not be important because Luvia continues without explaining. "Anyways, they always studied diligently, and they actually became the two most prodigious students the Tower had to offer near the end of their first year there. But then… a little more than five months ago, Shero was imprisoned by the Mage's Association and locked away in the Tower's large, underground oubliette, or prison. Normally, the Association isn't allowed to imprison someone for a crime, as that is the job of the police, but if someone were to commit a grave offense to magic, specifically against the Association, they have no mercy. Whatever crime they committed had to be severe to be taken in by them, and the sentence is almost always the death penalty… as is the case with Shero."

I stood up from the couch after becoming horrified at what she told me. "Are you telling me my father is dead?!" She isn't frightened by my reaction and must've been expecting it because she calmly shakes her head and places her teacup down on the coffee table.

"No, Emiya. At least, not yet. Even though the sentence is usually the death penalty, the Association gives a very large window of time for anyone willing to make a case for the convicted person's innocence. We actually have less than a month left at this point. The thing is, no one besides Rin even knows what Shero was imprisoned for and they won't allow her to tell anyone either. She's been trying her hardest to prove he's not guilty, but she can only do so much by herself and even less now that she's been kicked out of the Tower; she was kicked out the same time Shero was imprisoned." I didn't quite understand the confusing situation, but I knew very well it sounded dire and appeared my father had very slim chances of making it out of this. "And that's where you come in, Emiya." _What? Oh yeah, this point in her story must be around the time I came into the picture._

"One day, Rin suddenly called me up and said she needed me to come down to her apartment asap. She didn't give me a reason, but I still made my way there and when I finally arrived and went into her apartment, I was followed shortly behind by some mages from the Tower who started pounding on her door, saying they needed to ask her some questions. She hastily and desperately led me to the fire escape while the mages started breaking down her door. And there, next to the window, sitting on the floor, wrapped in a woolen blanket, was a young man with soft, black hair, crystal-clear, blue eyes, and a gaze staring upwards to the window and through it, the starry night sky above."

"Rin ripped the blanket from him and opened the window saying we had to go now. The only thing familiar to me about this person was that he was wearing some of Shero's old clothes. I didn't understand what was happening or why I had to take this man with me, but I trusted Rin and then tried telling him to come on, but he just stared at me in confusion as if I was speaking a foreign language. After much pushing and struggling we managed to get him out of the window and down the fire escape. Rin didn't come with us and I instead led him away from the apartment through the alleyways to make way back to Auguste's car. I was scared as to what those mages wanted, but I still continued forward, just as Rin asked me to. Only halfway down the alley, the man started freaking out and pulled away from me while groaning like an animal. I was scared and didn't know what was happening, so I put him deep into slumber with a spell and then dragged him to the car myself. That man was you, Emiya. I don't know if you remember any of this yourself though…" Luvia's expression slowly turned soft and happy with a light blush as she recalled the memory and she laughed occasionally as she told the story.

"I do remember it, Luvia. Not that well, but one of my earliest memories is you taking me away to be brought here. Though, I had no idea what was happening at the time. I do, however, remember I was being led away by a beautiful, golden woman who had the voice of an angel." I was just being honest, but apparently that was too much for Luvia because her happy expression quickly turned into a shocked one and the blush across her face grew both in size and brightness.

"Wh-What does that have to do with anything?!" She pats herself on the cheeks and clears her throat while I dump enough sugar into my tea to erase any trace of bitterness.

"Back to the subject at hand, Rin called me later that night and I had already put you to sleep in your own room. I had quite a lot to ask her, but she answered hardly any of the many questions. She started off by saying you were her and Shero's son and that you were the key to saving Shero." _The key to saving my father?_

"Uh, how so?" Luvia was watching me dump an abnormal amount of sugar into my tea when I posed her the question.

"Well… maybe I should start by telling you how Shero is imprisoned. The jail itself is nothing special and it only has about 5 cells to hold people in. The holdings are nothing impressive either; even the most novice mage could break out with a beginner spell to break the lock of the barred door or to unlock the lock itself with Reinforcement or something of that ilk." I nervously look away at her mention of using Reinforcement to unlock a door. This time, Auguste finally speaks up, and with a slightly bitter tone at that.

"The real problem is the casting of the spell itself. The prisoner being held at that time is unable to cast any form of magic at all. When they are imprisoned, they have their wrists and ankles locked with clasps that prevent the exertion of magic." I was surprised at what he just told me.

"Is that true Luvia? Can someone actually be prevented from using magic?" She nods at me.

"It is indeed true, but the prevention of magic is just temporary. There is another way to completely seal a mage's magical capabilities, but it's a very intricate and dangerous process that ultimately doesn't even work, so these temporary cuffs are much more effective." _A way to completely seal a mage's powers… that doesn't even work? She explained that oddly…_ "The bracers and anklets are derived from a much, much more ancient artifact: the leash Gleipnir. It's a much more powerful version of the clasps, but it's purpose is somewhat more of an opposite effect. Instead of barring the user from using magic, it prevents them from holding anything that can be considered a weapon. The way it works is it must bind the one who is designated to be sealed and then the artifact has to create a lifeline between itself and the mage using it to bind the target; the artifact is actually a treasure of the clock tower that is greatly valued. The bracers work the same way, but unlike them, the leash is cursed. The one whose life is attached to the bracers can remove them at will, thus breaking the connection, but if someone were ever to use the leash, the effects of it would remain until the person whose life is connected with Gleipnir were to die." _Another cursed thing. I despise the notion of curses and especially ones that involve the trappings of death._

"Well, that's a pretty messed up artifact. However, I think I understand the gist of both it and the clasps. Those clasps are wrapped around Shirou, preventing him from using any magic to break out? And the only way to get them off would be if the imprisoner was to take them off himself or if he was to die?" The faces of Luvia and Auguste turned grave at my words.

Auguste spoke up once more in response to what I inferred. "You are right, yes, but even if we were to get the cuffs off, that's not the biggest problem at hand. To even get into the prison, you must get past a giant, stone door which closes using a mage's magic energy and can only be reopened by that one specific mage's trace of magic energy again. So, if the door was closed when we engaged to free him, we would have to find the person who has it locked and make them open it. The giant door itself is guarded by a sealed designation enforcer who is also more than likely the one who keeps it locked. They are mages who essentially hunt down other mages for heresy. Word has it that this specific enforcer is a survivor from the Fifth Fuyuki War, making them a very formidable foe." _There it is again. He referred to that Fuyuki War…_

"Alright… I think I understand. There's two main obstacles in the way of my father's freedom, right? The mage whose life is tied to the cuffs on him and the designation enforcer who guards the prison… is this what you meant when you said I was the key, Luvia?" She slowly stirred her tea while staring down at her cup, taking a moment to answer me.

"Yes… You see, Rin has concluded that diplomacy won't work and she's getting nowhere with her plead for Shero's innocence. The only way left to free him would be a prison break, which has never happened before in the history of the Clock Tower. With Rin, myself, and Auguste, that would make three allies working together to attempt such a feat, one of which isn't even a mage. There really aren't any other allies we can gain other than ourselves, for it's forbidden to talk about mages and magic to any normal person and no mage, whether in or outside of the Clock Tower, would dare lift a finger against the association, not even my family or closest friends. That's when Rin introduced you to Auguste and me. She claimed you have the potential to defeat both the enforcer and the mage by yourself alone. At first, I didn't believe such a claim, especially after training you for a while and seeing no progress whatsoever, but after the sudden leaps and strides you've taken just over the course of a week, I believe she may be right. Just so you know, a good indicator to how strong you are now would be that if you were to fight a mage at my level or Rin's, you could easily defeat them with just your Reinforcement alone."

 _What?! Since when have I been on Luvia's level? I suppose I wouldn't really be able to tell because we don't spar as I do with Auguste, but still, the way she talks sounds as though she's been practicing magic her whole life whereas I've only been doing it a few months._ "Even more so than that, Emiya," she called out to me while I sat down, dumbstruck at her last comment "according to Rin, you inherited an extremely powerful spell from Shero that would be able to defeat the mage whose keeping him bound with ease. In fact, she said it's the only way you'd be able to defeat him… and knowing who he is, I agree with her." _A spell? What kind of spell is so much more powerful than the ones I've already been mastering?_ Luvia apparently read my mind and answered for me. "The spell invokes the inner world of that person and gives form to it. It's called a Reality Marble. At first, I didn't believe Rin at all. I couldn't conceive Shero had access to something like that, even if he was the top student at the Clock Tower, but even more than that, I refused to believe it is accessible by another person, even if it's his own son. It's impossible for a mage to pass down a Reality Marble to their descendants as it's specific to their own being and applies only to them. It is 'their world'. Rin insisted that Shero had one however, and she was adamant that you have the ability to use it too. To be honest… I still don't believe it, not a word of it, but what I do believe is that you would indeed need something of that scale to have a chance of defeating the mage who keeps Shero's own magic under locks. And according to Rin, the only way you can access it is if you can perform, and master, Projection magecraft." _A Reality Marble…_ I had no idea of what a Reality Marble is, but the concept Luvia described to me sounded interesting and I felt determined to master it, with or without Projection.

"Wait, Luvia… you talk like you know who the mage keeping the locks on Shirou is. Do you?" She looked extremely uncomfortable at the question and I realized both her and Auguste had been trying to avoid saying who he was this whole time. _But it doesn't feel like they ignored it because they didn't want me to know. It's more like they didn't want to acknowledge who the mage was; that they didn't want to remind themselves who he is._

"Yes, I know. He is one of the greatest mages I've ever heard about and he even lives in the Clock Tower, he's also the one who creates the lifelines for all the prisoners' cuffs, so I suppose you could say that makes him the warden. He is one of the Dead Apostle Ancestors, a Wizard Marshall of the Mages' Association, and, most importantly, a holder of one of the very few true magics. His name is Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg."

We talked about just a few more things while Auguste gathered up the teacups and began to clean the coffee table off, having seen the conversation began to die down. "Luvia, I'm just going to ask a few more questions, at least for tonight. I wouldn't dare ask any more than that even if I had more; this is starting to become a bit too much to swallow. Is that ok?" She nods and hands her empty teacup to Auguste who sets it on his tray. "Does this mean I have no given name? I know you said my namesake is Emiya, but do I not have another as you and Auguste do?" Luvia shakes her head.

"You don't, no. Rin didn't give me one when I first talked to her about you and then when she came here to check on your progress, I prodded her for answers to questions such as that and how you're their son and yet you're 2 years older than them. She just told me that the name I gave you, 'Emiya', would work and that you didn't have another. As for your age, she said the 'how' is irrelevant and that me knowing the deal with your age wouldn't change anything. The rest of the time was spent with her yelling at me for giving you a name in the first place, stating you didn't need that now and all you needed was to become a proper mage so that you could have a fighting chance against the people who are imprisoning Shero. She said the same thing the night you first arrived here when she called me; that I shouldn't teach you anything other than magic, anything more than the bare minimum of what you need. Because if I did, it would complicate things and only hinder the progress. That's also the night she mentioned you 'have the body of a 20-year-old' when I asked how you were their son and yet apparently around the same age as them." Auguste's face grew very displeased to the point his anger was apparent while he finished wiping off the table. Luvia continues,

"She said one other strange thing that night: 'He should already know all of what he needs to, so it shouldn't take too long to teach him. In fact, we shouldn't even be in this situation to begin with, he should already be a proper mage. I have no idea what went wrong.' She must've been thinking out loud because when I asked her to elaborate she became defensive and stated it was none of my business." I sigh and rub my forehead, feeling a headache coming on. "But, Emiya, you can choose your own name if you want… most people don't have the chance to decide what they'll be called the rest of their life so..." I acknowledge how pleasing that sounds and continue with my questioning.

"Alright, well then why do I have to beat this 'Zelretch'? The way it sounds to me is that we would only have to beat the designation enforcer if they tried to stop us and then manage to get the door open. The only trade-off would be that Shirou would be stuck with cuffs and unable to use magic, but he'd still be alive at least." She shakes her head at the question, indicating my assumption was wrong.

"It wouldn't work, Emiya. It's partially because Shero would more than likely refuse to leave unless he could access his magic once more, but it's mostly because those cuffs link Zelretch directly to Shero. So long as he has them, Zelretch would know where he is, and the Association would be in constant pursuit of him." I frown at her answer, having to come to terms with the fact a showdown between me and him would be inevitable. _That first reason she gave was weird though. Why would my father be so adamant about not having his magic? Is it that important to him?_

I look up and nod at Luvia and decide to ask her one last thing because she suddenly started looking troubled and sad; I want to let her go get a good night's sleep and wake up happy. "Just two more questions then, Luvia. You said you don't know why my father was imprisoned?" She shakes her head.

"And we won't find out unless we get him out. Rin can't break her vow of silence unless he gets freed or dies." _What a screwed-up situation… how in the world am I finding myself in the center of it?_

"Alright then… do you know if he's innocent then, Luvia? And if not, do you _think_ he is? If you don't think so, do you at least think he committed the crime for a just reason?" Luvia clutched her dress and furrowed her brow while thinking how to answer me.

"Will my answer change your decision of whether or not to help him?" I shake my head. _Regardless of if my father is a crook or a hero, innocent or guilty, I still owe both him and my mother for bringing me into this world. And I have many questions to ask him myself, so I will meet him face-to-face soon no matter what._ Luvia lets up her grip on her dress and finally answers me. "I… don't know, Emiya. Your father always had an insanely strong sense of justice and he wanted nothing more than to be a defender of that ideal. But in reality, I know so little about him I can't speak on his behalf. I suppose based on the year I have known him and from what he said to me during that time and solely because of the fact I myself believe in his good nature, I would say he's either innocent or, at the very least, he committed a crime to save someone else." Her answer put me at ease and I finally stand up and rub my tired eyes, now out of questions to be answered.

Luvia stands up too and wishes me goodnight before turning around to head out the doorway and go get ready for bed. Auguste had left earlier after he finished picking up and I assume he went to go clean the dishes off in the kitchen. For whatever reason, he seemed very agitated by the talks. _I hope I didn't overstep my bounds with him…_ Before Luvia reaches the door, I remember something and walk over to her while calling out her name. She jumps slightly and slowly turns around to face me. "Y-Yes, Emiya? What is it?" I don't know why she seemed nervous, but I didn't pay it any mind. I reach up and place my hand on her shoulder, upon which she jumps slightly again and begins to grow red in the face.

"I just wanted to say thank you. Even though I kinda forced you into telling me, you still finally told me the truth. The truth wasn't what I expected and it's really bitter, but I feel I'm better off knowing…" Luvia smiles nervously and nods rapidly while looking down at my hand on her shoulder.

"I-I, yes, Emiya you're most certainly right. Now, I do wish to talk more, but it is quite late. I should really head off to bed." She reaches up to push my hand off her shoulder, but before she can I lean in and slide it from her shoulder and down and around her back, as I do with my other, to wrap her up in a big hug. She yelped for a moment, but as soon as I fully embraced her, she didn't push me off or resist at all.

"Seriously… thank you, Luvia…" She still didn't resist or say anything, all I can feel is her breathing against my neck. _She's breathing pretty hard. Or… no, she's not breathing hard, just inhaling really deeply._ Upon having this thought, I hear her whisper out against my neck with her hot breath.

"Emiya… you smell…" I suddenly remember how musky I smelled from all of the sweating and physical exertion I did in the last 24 hours and I quickly walk back and away from her while blushing heavily and stammering to tell her I'm sorry. I just see her standing there with her eyes still closed, blush still apparent, and nose still wiggling while smelling the space in front of her where I stood just a second ago. Her eyes flutter open, which suddenly look tired and hazy, and she looks around slowly to the left and then right as if she's confused and dizzy. When she finally sees me standing a few feet in front of her, blushing just as hard as her with a confused expression, the haziness in her eyes disappears and she quickly steps back and collides with the door. "I-I, I mean, you-you're…" She stammers at me and I remain silent, unsure of how to react. She just continues to grow even more red, somehow, and eventually just turns the knob behind her and slides out of the door into the hallway, whispering an almost inaudible "goodnight" as she did so. _She… just now she was insanely cute. And I thought I noticed it from across the table on the couch earlier, but after hugging her up-close, I could tell something about her smelled really good tonight…_

I sit in the chair Auguste left behind in my room, which I moved over to the window so that I could stare out of it and up at the night sky. _No moon tonight… not even any stars. Auguste told me before that this can happen when the night sky is especially cloudy. Who knows, we might get some rain…_ The longer I sat and stared at the night sky, the wetter my shirt grew from the tears falling off my face and onto it and the more my teeth grew to ache from me clenching my jaw shut tightly. Once Luvia left, I could finally drop the façade. I was scared. I was angry. I was depressed. I was crushed. I feigned being calm and reserved for the entirety of that discussion. _They want me to break my father out of jail?! From what they implied, not only do I need to do that, but they expect me to KILL two people to do so?!_

I reach up and rub the side of my aching head, but soon I find my fingers clutching the strands of hair and pulling against them, trying to rip them out. _Is that all my purpose is? To fight and kill and commit a crime so that I can see a father I've never met before? Who am I doing it for? The mother who acted completely indifferent to my existence?!_ I recall the husk, the dark side of my mind, who plagued my dreams. He said the same exact thing I'm thinking right now. "Killing is embedded in my nature. It's what is natural for me." Upon remembering his infuriating words, I _did_ rip the handful of hair out causing me to gasp from the wave of pain throughout my head. I let the clump of hair fall from my hand and drop to the wooden floor, while letting my body go limp and my gaze drift back up to the dark sky. _In all honesty… about halfway through the conversation, I decided I'd run away. Why does it have to be me? Of course, I want my father to live and I want to have a family, but how do they expect me to defeat a specialized mage killer and a being who has access to one of the true magics; a magic that lets someone accomplish things outside the realm of possibility? I think this, but then why is it… I'm still sitting here in this room, not leaping through this window?_

I recall the scene that just played out between Luvia and I. The special emotion she stirred up inside of me, just the same as she did when she gave me that gift. _Is this weird feeling, this connection I feel I have with Luvia, and Luvia alone, the reason I'm staying?_ For the longest time, I never knew how Auguste and her truly felt, but I decided to believe they cared for me. Especially after the way she acted just now; it felt like she both liked and cared for me. Those aren't quite the right words to describe how she acted, but that's all I've got.

I scan the entirety of the sky trying my hardest to find a star amongst the darkness, but I see none. _While it is contributing to me not wanting to leave, Luvia and Auguste aren't the reason I'm staying here… So, what is? Why am I refusing to give up on the task set before me? Is it because of my father and mother? Do I feel obligated?_ I think of any other people of significance I could be doing this for. _Could it be the priest, Kirei? No, not at all. While I immensely appreciate him opening up the truth of my world to me, I wouldn't attribute that alone to making me want to save my father, so…_ It was then I remembered it.

The voice that spoke to me, the voice that had been in the back of my head all along. It wasn't the husk, but something else. He who calms my mind when I can't comprehend what's happening, he who spoke to me when I fought off those vicious wolves, he… who told me long ago that I would become the greatest swordsman to ever live… That person, that voice, said everything would be fine; to just continue down the path I'm walking, and I will be ok. It was once this thought occurred to me that a small opening in the clouds far, far above the forest opened up and through it, I could see a single, bright star shining brilliantly. It shined right above the city of London, right above where the café and the clock tower were, right above where I had to go. Several hours had passed since the talk with Luvia and Auguste ended; it is now just past midnight. The two of them will both be well asleep by now, especially since I made extra effort to give off the impression I was fine with this situation, and so… In one swift motion, I unlatch the window lock and open it up before diving straight out. As I fall down to the ground, I make my decision. _I will do what they ask of me, and try my absolute best to set my father free, but before that I have to find out one more thing: who is the man, my father, that I'm fighting to save? Kirei Kotomine knew the name Emiya and knew it well. I could see it in the way his eyes lit up when I mentioned it. He will tell me who my father is, who I am, and who "Emiya" is._


	14. The Holy Grail War

I walk through the dark woods while shivering from head to toe, using only the general direction of where the star was and the fumbling of my hands against the trees and underbrush to guide me. _Reinforcement on my eyes so that I can see through the darkness. A coating of fire on my hands to keep me from freezing. I could easily use my magic to guide myself more easily to the city, but I have to overcome this. If I need to get stronger, I'll overcome the things that make me weak…_ So, I trudged on through the woods while cold air nipped at me and my head grew to ache from my eyes struggling to see anything in the total darkness.

After trekking through the north end of the woods for what felt like forever, I finally reached the barbed wire fence that separated them from the spanning pastures of the countryside. After seeing it once more, specifically how huge it is, I realized how stupid what I'm doing is. Even so, I have to get to him as soon as possible, and the nighttime is the only period I have when I'm not under the watchful eyes of Luvia and Auguste. They may come clean on their part, but that's not to say they'll approve of me seeing the priest or learning anything I don't have to. I grab the spiky wire on top of the fence and lift myself up and over in one go, trying to position my hands to where the spikes on the wire won't poke into them. The tall grass of the field comes up to about my knees, but it looks like further out it will come up even to my waist. After staring out at the expansive fields, I soon feel myself trembling from how cold it is, and I decide to stop worrying and just focus on walking forward so that the physical exertion will give me at least a little warmth.

Once I walked for what seemed like about an hour, I was discouraged to still be unable to see London in the distance. I'd been able to keep the direction mostly accurate because of the few houses scattered throughout the fields, some of which still had lights on, but the direction and location of the city wasn't the problem; it was whether I would have enough time to make it or if my body could withstand the cold before I reached it. I just finished walking along the edge of the giant lake, putting the beautiful landmark behind me along with the woods that contained Luvia's mansion, but I once again doubted myself. _It's already been at least an hour. That means it's a bit past 1:00 am now… Considering the time it took for Luvia to reach the lake from the mansion during our car ride, I'd assume that at the current speed I'm walking, so long as it remained constant, I'd arrive in London after at least another two hours. That means 3:00 am. I would have almost no time to talk to Kirei if I wanted to make it back to the house at 6:00, which is when Auguste will arrive to wake me up. Not to mention that with how cold I'm getting, I'm going to have to use magic soon if I hope to be able to get there. And this is all assuming Kirei truly will be there. He said he would if I ever returned, but for all I know he could've skipped town right after he left that café._ All while thinking this, I continued to walk onwards to my destination. Worry as I might, I'd die along the way there before I'd give up and turn around. As I kick each foot in front of the other through the tall, dead grass, I soon feel cold splotches hitting my bare hands and my face. _No, please, don't rain._ I look up and around me in horror, anticipating the cold downpour of the water, but I instead find soft, fluffy specks descending all around me. I'm grateful these cold specks came in the rain's stead, but I grow fearful as the chill they deliver resonates throughout my body while walking forward.

Freezing. I was beyond the point of just "cold" now, I was freezing. There were more things wrong with my body now than I could allow myself to think about. I was afraid to bring my casual, day shoes in case they got ruined from the journey, so I opted for my slippers, and now I'd give everything to go back in time and choose the shoes instead. The heavy layer of the frozen rain matted down the tall grass, making it easier to walk, but at the same time making it to where I plunged my feet into the ankle-deep frost with every step. It didn't take long for it to cling to my cloth slippers, melt, and soak them and my socks thoroughly. My feet started screaming out in pain, especially the part with the puncture wounds from the wolves, just as the one on my right thigh soon imitated in doing so. It felt as though tiny knives were being inserted throughout my legs and twisted all around. They screamed out in pain, that is, until my feet grew more and more numb until I eventually couldn't feel them. Had they frozen, I didn't know, but I still stomped one down in front of the other, occasionally falling over from not getting a proper footing with each step. Soon the numbness rose from my feet and to my calves and thighs and then the soreness of the bite on my right thigh plagued me no longer as well. I lift up my right foot, but before it even falls down to the ground to take the next step forward, my left leg gives out and I fall back onto my rear.

I stay seated for a moment, wondering what in the world I could do to save myself. _Fire… magic. I'll use my fire magic._ No. I didn't know why, but I remember I told myself I couldn't use it to fall back on if I decided to do this. _I guess then… I'll just freeze here._ I'll just freeze and die here in this beautiful, yet deadly, white field. My mind itself felt as though it was growing numb, as though the spreading sensation of my loss of sense had finally reached my head. Then, I looked up again and saw it in the distance. It was just barely, oh so barely, but I could make out the glowing lights of the urbanized area on the outskirts of London. This made my senses rush back to me and a fire was lit inside of me; a blazing, metaphorical fire. I remove my jacket and rip off each of the sleeves before pulling out my pocket knife and cutting the sleeves into thin wrappings. I remove the slippers, wrap the makeshift stockings around my feet, and then slide the slippers back on before wobbling back up to my feet. I march on. As I walk, whenever I feel my head getting hazy, I bite into my tongue and clench my teeth to help me focus on continuing. On and on, until I can make out the bright, beautiful structures of London.

The houses on the outskirts of the big city were still mostly lit up, but there were no people on the streets, and from what I could tell, there was no activity in the multitude of houses either. After I walk across the giant bridge and into the city, except for a few passing vehicles, I see there's no one up and about here either. _I suppose it_ is _late… what time is it exactly?_ I look around, wondering how I'd be able to tell and then I remember the clock tower. I turn and look up to it and… _4:38?!_ I underestimated how long it would take me to get here… though I suppose I _did_ still get here, and without any form of magic, just as I declared I would. I limp along the sidewalk of the street as streetlight after streetlight passed me by. I make my way to the café based on the familiar places we visited while here, being careful not to slip on the slick concrete with my unstable legs. Eventually, I finally arrive at the familiar firm where Luvia took care of some business regarding the mansion.

I turn my gaze back to the street after glancing up at the building to see the side of the clock tower in the distance and the café right across the street from it, which I could immediately make out from the familiar umbrellas which were covered in the white, fluffy frozen rain. I continue forcing my weary body down the street, but I soon feel myself turn extremely disheartened and full of dread. The lights of the coffee shop were off and there was no one amongst the umbrella-covered tables, much less Kirei himself. Even so, I continue until I finally reach the front of the café. I press my face against the glass and peer inside thinking maybe he lies within, but I, of course, can't see anything. I knock on the glass a few times and call out his name, but after waiting a few minutes, no one responds. I refuse to give up now though, and I choose a chair amongst the tables to sit in and wait. I waited for a few minutes rubbing my hands and shivering while my head pounded, and my teeth chattered together. For an instant, I doubt Kirei's words and think he might actually not show up, but as soon as this thought crosses my mind, I hear footsteps approaching behind me in the distance, sloshing and crushing the packed, frozen specks as they treaded. I turn my head and as soon as my eyes fall upon him, relief floods over me and any regret I had about making the trip melted away. He continued walking with his hands behind his back and he smiled at me when he saw I noticed his presence.

Once he arrived at the table where I'm sitting, his smile disappeared, and he looked at me with a serious, stern gaze. "What… happened to you, young Emiya?" I was practically vibrating where I sat from how much I was shivering now in my frost-covered, soaking garments.

"Ah… y-y-y-you know, s-stuff." I attempted a joke despite how horrible I felt, and while he didn't laugh at it, he did offer a smile. I must've been quite the sight. My skin had grown pale, my hair was covered in the frozen rain and it had even clumped together and froze in a few spots, my clothes were also covered in the frost and where they weren't, they were soaked through, while the corners of my mouth and my chin itself had dried blood from my tongue which I bit into relentlessly throughout the end of my journey.

"Well… before we talk, I think I should patch you up a bit. Come." Upon beckoning me, Kirei walked to the door of the café and knocked on the glass as I did, but he instead followed a certain pattern or rhythm in the way he knocked. After the very last knock in the sequence, the lights instantly flicked on and the old man opened the door, dressed in his butler outfit as though he never changed after his shift today. I jump up from my chair and shuffle over to the doorway to follow Kirei in and then realize that this old man was probably awake when I was banging on the door and he probably saw me as frozen as a popsicle, and yet didn't let me in to help me. _What a jerk…_

I lay on the bed in the upstairs of the café which is apparently the old man's living quarters, almost completely in the nude, save for my pair of boxer briefs. I tell Kirei what happened and how I got here while he inspects my body to see the damage I ascertained. "Are you telling me you walked here?! Through the hayfields?! How you accomplished that in just four and a half hours is impressive; it would take any normal person all night to get here, if they didn't collapse from fatigue first. Not to mention you accomplished it at night, in below freezing temperatures, and amidst a snowfall. Truly… an impressive display, my boy." _Snowfall? So, those white specks must be called snow._ His compliments ebbed away the pain of the journey and fueled my ego up a bit, but I was still embarrassed to be lying practically naked on a bed for him. "Hmm… frostbite in several areas; most prominent on the feet, specifically the toes… several severe puncture wounds, one on the left foot showing signs of infection… burn marks over the gashes; third degree on the right thigh, second degree on the pads of the feet. Hmm. Boy, lift up your head, open your mouth." I do as I'm told, not wanting to interrupt his diagnosis. He grabs a flashlight from the nightstand next to the bed and shines it into my mouth while looking in inquisitively. "Hmm… incisions on the tongue because of the teeth… not too severe, but bad enough to make eating and drinking difficult as well as talking; it'll be prone to infection too… Alright I think that's about it, now prepare yourself, I'll have you fixed right up, but trust me when I say it won't feel pleasant at all. Though, considering you were able to withstand getting these injuries to begin with, I'm sure you can handle it." His words unease me, but I don't object as he positions himself next to me on the side of the bed and rolls his sleeves up. I stare at him through the corner of my eye and I look on in awe as he unveils an intricate array of red markings on his right arm with a few of the markings looking as though they've faded away for some reason. Kirei holds his hands out in front of him and points them down at me while inhaling deeply. "…HNNGH!" He lets out a grunt as though whatever he's about to do is taxing on him and as soon as he does, a white light with green hues pours out of his hands and covets my body. _What?! Magecraf-_

"AGHGH!" I scream out and contort my body in pain as whatever spell he's casting causes immense agony to wrack me throughout my entire being. The pain dies down a bit as he continues, but it's still so immense that I feel like screaming. _This pain… it's as though he's breaking my body apart and putting it back together. It's just like when I seared my open wounds shut; it hurts so much, but it'll help me._

Soon, the pain goes away entirely and the light being casted off Kirei's arms dies off and subsides, revealing to me his giddily grinning face that had been covered by the glow of the spell. I take a moment to catch my breath before sitting up on the bed, wondering why he looked so pleased by my suffering. As soon as I'm back in a sitting position, I realize that I felt good as new. No, literally as good as new. The pain from the bites, burns, "frostbite", cuts, scratches, everything. I even find that the aching in my right hand is now gone and I look at it to see, despite it still being scarred just like my left arm, the fingers were now straight and no longer slightly crooked. My skin is once more flush and full of life and the punctures in my thigh and feet from the wolves were now sealed, leaving only small, pink scars and any traces of the burns were completely gone. I jump up and stand firmly on the floor, feeling as though I could run back and forth from here to the mansion twice before morning broke. Kirei watches me ecstatically jump around for a bit before turning around and walking down the stairs with the butler and back into the café. I only notice he's gone when I go to ask him what he did and see that he's not in the room anymore. I quickly wrap the blanket around me after seeing my clothes weren't done drying by the electric heater and I run downstairs, thinking he might've up and left me.

My worries were misplaced, as when I walked down to the café, Kirei was seated at one of the few tables with his fingers interlocked and resting on the table, his eyes closed and the chair across from him pulled back, inviting me to take a seat. I do just that, and as soon as I sit down and scoot up, he opens his eyes and stares deeply into my own. _Those eyes… I realized it earlier; when I thought I saw Shirou's eyes somewhere before, it was because I have. He had the same piercing, yet empty look as Kirei._ "Don't worry, young Emiya. I already ordered Charles to bring out some refreshments for us. And I made sure to order a whole pot of coffee, just for you." _Charles must be that butler…_ I look at him warily, displeasure apparent on my face. He sighs. "With cream and sugar, of course." I feel relieved that he remembered how much I hated the vile fluid by itself. Kirei clears his throat and leans forward, his rugged face somehow becoming even more serious. "Now, judging just by how torn up your body was, I'm sure you've been through quite a lot and have many questions to ask me; as that was the only reason I told you to come back here. I won't waste any time on asking you any of mine then, if that's the case. Let us jump right into it; go on, ask away." I was surprised by his directness on the matter, but also pleased to be able to get right to business.

"It's about my father, Shirou Emiya. Needless to say, I found out a lot of confusing things in the short time we've been apart, Mr. Kirei. I remember how you reacted when I mentioned the name Emiya to you, so I know you know _something_ about my father, and I would like to hear everything you do." Kirei stared at me with his unchanging face and then allowed a grin to crack once more while lightly chuckling.

"Is that all?" _"Is that all"?_

"Uh, I mean yes… I do have some other things maybe, but my father is the main focus. I guess I'm also interested in knowing what the Holy Grail War is, if you know anything about that…" The spark I lit in his eyes the other day reignited and his grin became that maniacal smile once more.

"Yes, yes, there it is. The proof I was waiting for. I knew it, I knew you were just too interesting to pass up. You've breached my expectations once more and found out another key component to yourself that's important, very important indeed. I'm sure to you, 'Emiya' and 'the Holy Grail War' are two completely different things that you only happened to hear about by chance, but oh how wrong that is. In reality, the two are so closely related and intertwined by the threads of destiny that you could run your entire life and still end up being caught in the web." _Destiny?_

"A 'destiny'? I-I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with the term, but are my father and I really that involved in this 'Holy Grail War'?" Kirei doesn't answer me and instead laughs; not a chuckle like earlier or every time before this, but a hearty laugh I would've never thought the man was capable of.

"Yes… your destiny. I'm interested to see the road you end up walking, Emiya. So, tell me, do you really want to dive into the truth? Even though risks will most certainly be involved?" The way he was acting makes me doubt for a moment. _And knowing what happened last time and how hectic and strange things became; would it really be for the best if I do?_ No, it's too late to back out now. I made my decision when I leaped from that window hours ago. I don't voice out my response though, I wasn't sure my answer would be the same if I did, so I instead just nod my head once. "Very well… Rejoice boy, because for you, and you alone, I will give to you the complete truth, and nothing less. It is indeed what you've asked me for, so I shall deliver it now regardless of if you're capable of handling it or not. Prepare yourself, boy… your wish will finally come true."

The butler, Charles, walks up to the table before Kirei begins his explanation, and he places down the pot of coffee, two mugs, a plate of shortbread cookies, and a candelabrum. I look at him in confusion, wondering what the candles were for, but he just walks away and heads back upstairs. "Charles is being kind enough to let us use his café to conduct our little meeting, but he still does need to sleep, and he would rather us talk under candlelight than keep his shop's lights on and give the impression it's open." Kirei explains it for me and I remember his words about the city being a big, dangerous place and I'd imagine that's all the truer at night, which makes sense he'd want his shop to not stand out. Kirei stands up and walks over to the base of the staircase. "I'll just switch the light off and go grab Charles' lighter under the counter so we can get started." He switches the light off and when I hear him start walking over to the counter, I suddenly remember my magic.

"Hold up, Kirei, I can take care of the candles, just retake your seat." He doesn't say anything and just instead changes course back to the table, as I could indicate from the sound of his approaching footsteps behind me. Before he even sits down, I casually waft my left hand over the candles, lighting each and every wick with one swift stroke. Kirei looks at it, intrigued, while sitting back down on his chair.

"What a nice little display of flame magecraft. It reminds me much of my old master, Tokiomi. He was a great teacher and by far the best manipulator of fire I've ever met. Perhaps he's where you get it from…" I wonder what he means while I pour each of us some coffee and start adding some cream and sugar to my own. Once I hand him his cup, he takes one long, drawn out sip before placing the now half-empty mug back on the table and returning his hands to being clasped together on the tabletop. The dim candlelight illuminated his face and casted shadows on it in a scary manner while I stirred my coffee. "Alright Emiya, I'll start with your parents."

"In all honesty, I didn't know your parents were Shirou and Rin when I first met you. After you told me your name was Emiya and I realized the features you shared with them, I inferred it as such, and my suspicion seems to have been correct based on how tonight you apparently found out on your own what I had been suspecting; that Rin and Shirou are indeed your parents. I assume you coaxed that gem mage and her butler into spilling what they knew to you. Well, now I'll do my part. Are you aware of how you were 'born'?" I shake my head. "I see. Well, I'm sure you and your mansion dwelling companions were able to at least conclude you have the body of a young man the same age as, if not older, than Rin and Shirou. If that's not strange enough, prior to five months ago, you didn't exist. The Clock Tower keeps very close watch and regular inspections on all its mages, and not a trace of you was present before Shirou Emiya was imprisoned. My point in saying all of this is that, if you thought maybe you existed on this planet for the roughly 20 years of age your body has, you're wrong; either that or Rin and Shirou are somehow smart enough to slip one under on one of the world's most influential, covert organizations. You, Emiya, did not exist until about five months ago, so it's wrong if you think you're 18, 17, 20, or whatever you think your current age is; you're only around four or so months old."

What I'd been dreading to be true finally came crashing down on me. It wasn't amnesia or some type of magic blocking my memories; I'm just somehow an almost newborn child in the body of a man. "How'd they do something like that, Kirei?" He shrugs his shoulders and looks down at his steaming coffee.

"There's only three ways it could be possible from what I know, and I only see one of them being somewhat achievable. As for the two others, that I don't think either of those buffoons could accomplish, it would entail manipulation of time or interference with parallel worlds via a multi-dimensional refraction phenomenon, but both of those would be only one step away, if not within, the realm of 'true magic'. Because of this, even though this method is extremely hard and probably also beyond the skill of those two, I can only assume you are the end result of them trying to create artificial life using their own DNA; a homunculus." I didn't know what a homunculus was, but being told I'm artificial life struck a bad cord in me.

"Are you saying I'm not a real human?! I'm just a faker?" He doesn't react to how shaken up his comment made me and instead reaches across the table and grabs my arm, pulling it to him slightly. He inspects it and I feel the pain shoot up and through it once again while his hand holding me starts to glow. I clench my teeth and press my forehead down and onto the table, but I don't scream or rip my hand away.

When the pain finally stops, I retract my hand and look up at him dizzily to see what that was all about. "It doesn't seem that's exactly the case, Emiya. The magic I used on you just now is the same one I did earlier when I healed your broken body. It's a form of healing magecraft known as Spiritual Healing. It's actually a curse that's fairly hard to master, as one uses actual spirits to conduct the healing. Anyways, when using that magic I can see all the makeups of your body and I can say with the utmost certainty, that you are not a homunculus. Before even using the magic, it's evident that you have emotions, a trait that almost no other homunculus has, but when I looked within you, you had the most important component belonging only to humans, a soul. Other than that, while you do have the insane Od capacity and powerful, abundant magic circuits of a homunculus, I don't see any indications that your body is physically weak or that you have a short lifespan. Either you're something other than a homunculus, or those two mage apprentices somehow created the most perfect one to ever exist." His words were confusing, but they did make me hopeful I might be a human. At the same time, they also indicated the third possible explanation to my existence is also wrong.

"So, if I'm not a homunculus and I wasn't created using true magics, what can explain me then?" Kirei rubs his chin for a moment, thinking, and then shrugs his shoulders once more before reaching to the coffee pot to refill his mug.

"If it's something other than those three methods, it's beyond my understanding. We won't get anywhere dwelling on this, so let's move on to the next topic… the Holy Grail War."

The plate of shortbread cookies is now considerably emptier because I'd been shoving one after another into my mouth without even realizing while Kirei educated me with all this information. "Let's start with a comment I made earlier, about my master, Tokiomi Tohsaka. Now that I've told you his last name, I'm sure you can guess who he was; the father of Rin Tohsaka. As I also mentioned, he was an amazing fire mage, so it wouldn't be a stretch to consider any inclination you have to that magecraft is thanks to him. One thing I thought when you first sat with me at that table to drink some coffee, actually, was 'this boy looks so similar to Tokiomi. I bet as a young man, Tokiomi was the spitting image of this boy.' You do look a bit more fresh-faced and rebellious in the face than him, a trait surely taken from your father, but it is a moot point. Back to what I was saying, Tokiomi fought in the Fourth Fuyuki Grail War and I was his student prior to it and right during the beginning of it. Your mother and father, Rin and Shirou, were only little kids when this war took place. There was another involved party, however; the foster father of Shirou Emiya: Kiritsugu Emiya. He was an interesting man, and he instantly caught my eye the moment Tokiomi informed me he was one of the seven masters. I wanted to know what he was fighting for… why, I didn't know, but now I do. He always had the same look in his eyes and the same feel about him as I. I didn't realize it at first, but I thought if I could learn what drove a man that was so similar to myself, I could find out what in life I could use to gain a sense of purpose." Kirei's words hit me right in my heart. _I'm sure he knows, but my situation isn't so different. I too am looking for what my purpose is…_ "Yes, I was intrigued by him… that is, until he slighted me in a way that's unforgiveable…"

"You see, Tokiomi was a great mage and was well acknowledged amongst all the others. In the short time I spent under his tutelage, I thought 'this man must be the greatest mage ever, he surely will win this war.' And I wasn't the only one who was aware of that fact. On top of potentially being the best mage in the war, he had also summoned the strongest servant, the hero from the Mesopotamian epic: Gilgamesh." I lost track all at once of what he was saying.

"W-Wait, Kirei. Gilgamesh? Summoning servants?" He realizes what I mean, about how I didn't know what terms he spoke of, and then continues.

"I forgot to mention that crucial part. The way the war is played out as follows: there are seven mages who are chosen by an omnipotent device called the Holy Grail, which is capable of granting wishes, and they each then conduct a ritual to summon a powerful entity who's called a 'servant' or a 'heroic spirit'. These servants fight each other alongside their masters, and once only one servant remains, their master is awarded the Holy Grail for whatever they so desire. As I mentioned earlier, Tokiomi's servant is what many consider to be the most powerful servant; the oldest hero of mankind: Gilgamesh. Early into the war, Tokiomi thought it would be advantageous to give a small display of Gilgamesh's power, as well as make the other participants of the war believe he took out the servant Assassin, which was my own, by faking its death at the hands of Gilgamesh. For the most part, the tactic worked, scaring everyone with the daunting truth that Gilgamesh was far superior to their own servants. The only one who wasn't blinded by fear was Kiritsugu Emiya. Where everyone else saw the devil himself being guarded by a demon who just effortlessly struck down another powerful servant, Kiritsugu saw an opportunity and he saw straight through our ploy and decided he'd strike then and there when it'd be least expected. As his servant, Saber, attacked Gilgamesh head-on outside of Tokiomi's mansion, Kiritsugu snuck in, undetected… and murdered my teacher."

"It was a fairly downhill battle from that point on for Gilgamesh. Without a master to sustain him, no command seals, and no foreseeable future of being a winner of the Grail, Saber beat him. By the time I finally returned to the mansion from where I was stationed with Assassin further away, they were dead, and Kiritsugu and his servant were nowhere to be found."

I was shocked my grandfather could do something so underhanded and evil, but then I remember Kirei saying the whole point was to kill the other contestants, so it probably didn't matter how it was executed. "Needless to say," Kirei continued after drinking a bit of his coffee "I developed quite the grudge against Kiritsugu. If that grudge wasn't already strong enough from him killing my teacher, it certainly became nothing more than pure hatred for the man when he decided to assassinate the current overseer of the war, my father Risei." I felt heartbroken at what I was hearing and couldn't believe Kirei wasn't tearing up or even displaying any anger as he told this story; he just sat there with his nonchalant expression and cold eyes.

"I'm sorry…" I said it out loud, not even realizing it at first. It felt necessary for me to say because I'm sure my predecessor never said the words himself. Kirei shakes his head at me.

"For what, boy? You're as innocent as a baby, literally. Now, after Kiritsugu killed my father, I retrieved his overseer command seals and-"

"Wait, what are these command seals you keep talking about?" Kirei realizes he's managed to not explain something else important and clears his throat.

"Another important aspect; command seals are spells given to a master that gives them complete control over a servant by issuing one command per seal. Every master gets three, and whatever remaining seals there are after the war are transferred to the overseer issued by the Church. Now, as I was saying, once Kiritsugu took away these two important people from my life, I decided to abandon the interest I had in him. Whatever drove him, should I find it out, would drive me as well; it would drive me to a place where ambition would destroy me. I knew my next move had to be to find an ally; it was the original plan of Tokiomi, to have me assist him so that his victory would be ensured, so I decided I had to fall back on that same tactic. I didn't care about winning at that point, the only thing I cared about was ensuring Kiritsugu wouldn't win. I knew any sane person would jump at the chance to form an alliance with someone if it ensured their servant would win, so the only problem would be choosing who. That person would be the master of Berserker, Kariya Matou."

"I don't know why I chose him, but after finding out his reasons and the situation he was in, I took a fondness to him and knew he had to be the one. It took a lot of convincing, especially when I mentioned I was the pupil of Tokiomi, but he apparently had a grudge against Kiritsugu now that he'd killed Tokiomi, as Kariya said he had business with him that Kiritsugu had now prevented him from being able to finish. That, paired with the fact his Berserker reacted too strongly to the Saber of Kiritsugu, made him desperate to deal with both of them as quickly as possible. After we allied, everything fell perfectly into place. Lancer was dispatched by Saber, as was Caster, and Kariya's Berserker and my Assassin disposed of the Rider. My Assassin, sadly, was lost in the process. Kariya and I decided the best course of action from there would be to have me transfer a few of the command spells I took from my father and gift to Kariya, so that he could be sure to control Berserker enough, allowing his body to survive till the end of the war. You see, he was currently being plagued by magic crest worms in his body which allowed him to have a servant as strong as Berserker, but at the same time, it slowly ate away at him and destroyed him; and did so even quicker when he lost control of Berserker. He made Berserker engage with Saber while I did so to Kiritsugu. At some point, Saber began to lose, so Kiritsugu ran from our fight when he had an opening, upon which I returned to Kariya. He was within an inch of death and out of command spells when I found him in the alleyway he was positioned in. I gave him one last command spell so that his contract with Berserker wouldn't go void and then healed him to the best of my capabilities while the worms within him ran rampant. Soon, the crest worms in Kariya stopped raging and the healing took root, indicating the fight was over, regardless of which servant won. Not long after the worms stopped freaking out, a bloodied and tattered Berserker happened upon the alleyway and fell down to his knees next to his master. By some miracle, Kariya actually stood victorious among all the other masters."

"We made our way to where the Grail had been resting and from it was flowing a black sludge which had covered the floors of the entire area. I knew not what it was, but I could only assume it wasn't good. I thought for a moment whether I should tell Kariya to not cast his wish upon the strange thing, but then I remembered it wouldn't be him doing it, but instead the person he promised to give the grail to: Zouken Matou. The old man, Zouken, had followed us to the Grail's resting place and unveiled himself from the darkness, thanking Kariya for all his hard work. But… right as he took his first step forward to the Grail, Kariya suddenly screamed out his wish to it with all his might. Do you know what it is he wished for? 'Holy Grail, I beg of you! Remove the scourge known as Zouken Matou from this world! For the sake of this planet, the sake of its people, even for his own sake; wipe away his existence! Free Sakura and I from the chains he binds us with!' The old Zouken stared at him in shock and before he even let out a word, the slime covering the floor rose up quicker than I could process and took form to encase itself around him. Once all of the black sludge surrounded him, it compressed itself until it was but a small orb, big enough to fit in the palm of my hand. I had thought it was over, but then it shrunk further still and further and further, until the man known as Zouken Matou was gone. Once the ball of sludge that consumed him had vanished, I turned to Kariya screaming as the worms churned under his skin, but they weren't just acting up as they were before. The worms were disappearing from him, one by one. Not falling out of his skin or shriveling up and dying, but squirming as their forms turned to nothingness. Once Kariya had stopped screaming and the last of the worms vanished, he stood to his feet and the color of his flesh turned peachy, his eyes regained their brown color and the haziness was gone, his hair even came back to life, its color returning. He stood before me, the man he once was, as though the afflictions Zouken cursed him with never happened."

"Once this happened, Berserker himself finally moved from his gazing on the sidelines and went to the grail and whispered to it in his incoherent tongue. I didn't know if the grail was capable of granting more than one wish, but it must've been so, as whatever Berserker wished for caused the Grail to erupt in the black goo and rise from its resting spot and into the sky above Fuyuki… or at least, at the time I would think it was Berserker's wish that caused it. Kariya and I escaped the enclosure before the sludge swallowed us and when we reached the surface of Fuyuki, we saw what the grail was doing. Above where it rose from, the Grail was making fire spread across the city and the sludge run wild throughout, surely killing anyone unlucky enough to live in that area. I had no idea what could be done, I was just horrified that Berserker would wish for something like this, even more so that the Grail would actually grant it. Kariya though, he knew what to do. He ordered Berserker by his last command seal that I gave him to destroy the Holy Grail. And well, that's all she wrote."

"We would later find out that Sakura, the young girl Kariya was fighting to save, also had Zouken's worms removed from her body and the physical changes it caused her, such as her hair and eye color changing, much like Kariya's, also reverted to normal. It was a miracle, but something strange and dark happened as well. To all the people who once knew Zouken, other than Kariya and myself, their memories of him vanished. Any trace of him left on the world other than Kariya also vanished. Even his other son Byakuya and his grandson from Byakuya, Shinji, also disappeared, living only in the mind of Kariya and my own after he informed me of their previous existence. It was… sickening to see how horrifying the extents of the Grail's powers could reach. I knew it was omnipotent, but I didn't expect things to end up the way they did. Regardless, Sakura was just as she was before she was taken and defiled by Zouken, having no memories of him and no lasting scars, marks, or worms on her body from him. Kariya returned her to her mother, Aoi, who was also the wife of Tokiomi before he died. Not even a year after Sakura was reunited with her family, Kariya married Aoi and his wish, his true wish, was finally fulfilled. He encouraged them all to cease their magecraft so they could live together happily as a normal family, upon which Sakura and Aoi happily threw it to the wind. There was one who didn't give up their magecraft however… the other young daughter of Tokiomi and Aoi, Rin Tohsaka."

"Rin greatly resented Kariya, saying he was the man who hated her real father and that he barged in on their family, demanding the precious magic of her father to be discarded. It was such a drastic change, as before her father died and Kariya married her mom, she considered Kariya as much a father as Tokiomi. Kariya at first wouldn't budge, wanting her to live happily and be a part of the family he wished for, but after seeing she would never give it up nor would she ever approve of him, he conceded under the condition it be me who becomes her teacher." I drop my mouth open and my eyes widen upon the revelation.

"You were my mother's teacher? I had no idea you were that affiliated with her…" He nods and rubs his temples as though he has a headache, indicating the title of "Rin's teacher" is not something to take pride in.

"Yes, I was her tutor for the remaining years of her studies in the stead of her father. When Kariya decided to move he and his family off somewhere in the United States, Rin demanded she be allowed to stay in Fuyuki with myself and continue her studies. None of them wanted her to do so, but Rin continued to push them away, saying she would choose her father's magecraft over them any day. And so, Kariya, Aoi, and Sakura headed to the US to start their new life, leaving Rin with me. It didn't take long for her rebellious streak to kick back up again and she started living all by herself, without any supervision from me. As for Kariya, I still keep in touch with him. The three of them live happily outside the world of magic now." _So that's the story of my mother, Rin. And her father, my grandfather, Tokiomi..._

"Well… that does it for how I got to know your mother Rin. Now… do you remember the fire of Fuyuki the grail caused?" I nod my head, recalling the horrifying image he put in my mind. "Well, among all who were in the fire, only a single person survived. A single person was rescued by the man who was the last master besides Kariya in the Fourth War. Yes, Kiritsugu Emiya rescued a young boy from the flames of Fuyuki who he would then adopt and raise as his own. This boy was your father, Shirou Emiya."


	15. The Villainous Hero & The Heroic Villain

The candles had now burned down to almost half the length of which they were before; the melted wax trailing down the sides of the white sticks and pooling around the brass guards each has at its base from the candelabrum. "So, my father is a survivor from the fire that erupted in Fuyuki caused by the wish of Berserker?" Kirei opens his eyes and responds to my question right as the next drop of the cream-colored wax falls into the quickly solidifying pool at the base of its candle.

"Yes, you are mostly right except in two regards; Shirou was not _a_ survivor, he was _the_ survivor. Out of all of the victims in Fuyuki from that fire, he was the only one amongst the affected who survived. There were some other children who were found and brought to a hospital, but they all died to an 'unknown sickness' not too long after arriving. That 'sickness' was a multitude of curses each received from the Grail which slowly killed them. Shirou survived solely because of a healing catalyst Kiritsugu gave him that mended his body and protected him from the evil curses. As for the second wrong statement you made, that widespread destruction wasn't the direct wish of Berserker."

"Wait, are you saying the Grail twisted his wish? And what's this about curses from the Grail? I thought it was holy and that it granted whatever wish the winner wanted?" Kirei nods his head and pushes his empty mug to and against the coffee pot, which is also now empty.

"Yes, that's how the Holy Grail originally worked, but things changed after the Third War. After that, the Grail was corrupted and became evil and twisted, having nothing but sorrow, malicious intent, and curses spill from it. Neither Kariya nor I knew at the end of the Fourth War that the Grail was corrupt because of the nature of Kariya's wish. Having someone be completely erased from the tides of history is already a vile and evil wish, regardless of how evil the person you made disappear was. It was probably because of this that the Grail actually accepted his wish; that, and the fact that it did twist it in its own way by also erasing Zouken's other descendants, Shinji and Byakuya. Actually, the grail might not have even heard the wish Berserker gave it. It might've just enveloped the city in fire after Kariya's wish as a biproduct." I bit into the last cookie while pushing away the empty plate so that it could rest next to the empty cup and coffee pot while Kirei continued.

"However, it wouldn't be until the end of the Fifth War that I'd come to find the Grail was corrupted. You see, as the grail was destroyed in the Fourth War, a new lesser Grail had to be prepared for the Fifth and that Grail was the biological daughter of Kiritsugu, Illyasviel von Einzbern." I look at him and skew my brow in confusion at what he just said.

"The Lesser Grail? And Illyasviel von Einzbern? Are you saying the Grail isn't a cup or an object, but a person?" Kirei shakes his head at my question I abruptly interrupted him with.

"No, no, that's not correct… at least, not necessarily. The Grail is an omnipotent wish-granting device, as I've stated, but there are two, I suppose you could say, forms to it. The Lesser Grail, which is the physical embodiment the Grail enters this world through, and then the Greater Grail which is the omnipotent device itself that exists in a corporeal form that normally can't be touched. The Lesser Grail is provided by one of the original founders of the Grail War; the Einzberns. They create Homunculi, which I've already explained to you as to what they are, and amongst those Homunculi are descendants, or perhaps I should say 'replicas', of one of the first Homunculi they created who is also the core of the Greater Grail itself; Justeaze Lizrich von Einzbern. These replicas act as the blueprint for the Lesser Grail. In fact, Kiritsugu's wife and the mother of Illyasviel, Irisviel, was the one who acted as the Lesser Grail in the Fourth War. And in the Fifth, it was Illyasviel's time." I felt sympathy for my grandfather after hearing both his wife and daughter were sacrificed to allow the Grail to be summoned and felt even more saddened upon remembering it was all for naught; just to be summoned by a corrupted artifact.

"Was it hard on my grandfather? To have both his wife and daughter taken by the Grail War?" Kirei looked down at his hands clasped together with a troubled look as though he didn't exactly know. He scratched his head while pondering before finally answering me.

"I'm not quite sure, Emiya. As I said, I never bothered to get too close to him after the ways he wronged me, but from what I saw, he truly did love his wife. As for his daughter… well, we'll get to that. Let me continue with the story. For starters, after the Fourth War, Kiritsugu never really saw Illyasviel again because the Einzbern's barred him from doing so, saying he failed them. They refused him and cut off all connections with him, keeping Illya for themselves. So, he moved to a nice house in Fuyuki with the boy he saved, Shirou, and began his life again. By 'life', I mean his preparations for the next Grail War. He didn't expect to see the next War, since the wars are spread out far apart by usually 60 years, but he had a son who could carry the torch for him. So, he began diligently teaching Shirou magecraft to the best of his abilities for the next ten years."

"Why only ten years? What happened after that?" Kirei laughed at my oblivious question before answering.

"Why, the Fifth Grail War, of course. As I said, the wars are usually spread out by many, many years, but this one arrived much sooner than normal, as I'm sure you could tell. I'm sure when Kiritsugu recognized the command seals form on both his _and_ his son's hands, he was overjoyed. Overjoyed to see he had another chance, that is." At his mentioning of my grandfather's second chance, I realize Kirei never told me what his wish even was.

"Kirei, a second chance at what? What was my grandfather's wish?" Kirei stopped his story, taking a moment to reflect and realize he indeed did not tell me what his wish was.

"I see, I didn't mention that part, did I? Well, put simply, your grandfather wanted to be a hero of justice. He wanted to wish for the world to be one in which everyone could be saved; a world where no one killed each other and where everyone lived together." _I… From how Kirei talked about my grandfather and all he did, I never would've imagined his wish would be so righteous. But…_

"Wait, the Grail is cursed, and evil isn't it? So, wouldn't a wish like that be impossible even if he did win?" Kirei nods with his expression turning sorrowed and grave.

"Exactly… but as I said, I, Kariya, and especially Kiritsugu… None of us knew at that point that the Grail was corrupted. It wouldn't be until the end of the war that we'd find out. And so, he trained Shirou vigorously for those ten years and he became an incredible mage, extraordinarily proficient in Reinforcement and Projection. Not surprisingly, both he and Kiritsugu were chosen by the grail to be masters. Kiritsugu the master of the new Assassin, and Shirou the master of Saber. Coincidentally, not only was it a Saber, but it was _the_ Saber that Kiritsugu received in the last Grail War; a biproduct of Kiritsugu placing that artifact closely related to the Heroic Spirit inside of Shirou to save him from the Grail's hellfire. Kiritsugu's other child, Illyasviel, was also chosen to be a master, despite being the Lesser Grail herself. I assumed that was the Einzberns fix to losing Kiritsugu, but, regardless, there were technically _three_ Emiyas competing in the Fifth War." I widen my eyes at the weight his last sentence carried.

"I see… you really weren't joking when you said the Emiyas are closely enveloped in the Holy Grail War. Now, who are the other masters of that war and what servants did they get?" His eyes widened at my question and he lowered them to the table before shutting them tightly closed. Right before he shut them though, I could see the despair in them.

"The other masters… Well, as for the servants, they don't change with every Holy Grail War. It's always the seven classes of Saber, Archer, Lancer, Rider, Assassin, Caster, and Berserker. You know the master for Assassin and Saber, Illya was the master of Berserker, and Archer's master was actually your mother, Rin. Caster's master was murdered by Caster's own hands and then she transferred to be the servant of a teacher from your parents' high school that she became enamored with. And as for Lancer, he was the servant of an affiliate of mine that I actually encouraged to be a participant in the war; her name is Bazett Fraga McRemitz…" _So those are all of the people who took part in the Fifth War… Four of those people he just mentioned I am closely related to; Kiritsugu, Shirou, Illyasviel, and Rin. So, I guess this means Kirei didn't participate in this War… Wait, he didn't mention Rider or Rider's master; maybe that was his servant?_

"And what about Rider? I'm assuming you were their master?" Kirei's eyes quickly snapped open again, holding within them a mixture of fear and alertness, but it quickly faded to the look of despair they held earlier.

"Y-Yes… the master of Rider. No, it wasn't me. After the death of my father in the Fourth War, the church assigned me as the new overseer to the war which barred me from being able to participate. No, the master of Rider in that war was… my daughter, Caren Kotomine." He looked extremely pained when he talked about her and I wondered for a minute whether I should make him delve into the topic.

"Uhh, K-Kirei, if it's a delicate topic, we don't have to go into it-" He made me stop midsentence by raising his hand up and over the flickering candle wicks, making his open palm face me, as an indication to cease talking.

"No. It is indeed something I'd much prefer to not dig up, but I want you to know all the history of your father and grandfather. Both the good… and the ugly. Well, for starters I should probably explain how my daughter came about, as I'm sure I don't look to you like the kind of man who'd be a father or even a husband. Well, I was in fact both of those. I married my wife, Claudia Hortensia, while trying to find a sense of purpose in my life. I thought with her, I could gain as close of a semblance of normalcy as possible. While we were married, I thought I never loved her, I thought her suffering from her terminal illness brought me joy, and I thought the idea of her dying and the daughter she bore for me being raised without a mother or father by distant relatives would just be the best thing ever. And that's what happened. I made her bear a child for me, half-thinking it would be a fun trial in and of itself to see if she could withstand the pregnancy with her weak and frail body. She indeed did survive the pregnancy and gave birth to our daughter, but it did nothing more than hasten the pace at which her time on this earth degraded away. When she was lowered to a status of nothing more than skin and bones, barely even alive anymore, I decided I would end my life after she herself died; thinking I owed that much to her for what I did and after realizing I'd never be a normal human being. But when I told her this, that I would kill myself, and that I never loved her, she just smiled at me… and… and told me 'no, you do love me, Kirei' and then she killed herself before the illness could. As she died, I cried next to her on the bedside and in her dying breaths she… confidently said: 'See? I told you so. You cry now that I'm about to leave you because you truly do love me...' And I, the dumb man I am, thought she was wrong and that I only cried because I could no longer see her suffer or kill her myself."

"But I was wrong. I did love my wife. It was just that I only realized it when she died. You never really know how valuable something you have is until it's gone. I was just stubborn and disillusioned, and I thought it was impossible for someone like me to love anything. I only realized this after Kiritsugu took both my teacher, Tokiomi, and my father, Risei, from me as well. The feeling I had when they were both gone; it was despair, just as it was with Claudia. It only took losing three people for me to realize that it wasn't despair because I myself wasn't able to kill them, but it was despair that I'd never see those people again. I always told myself 'now you can't kill them, you'll never have the chance', but in reality, I was just pleading with the world to reverse it so that I could 'kill them' myself; a task I would tell myself I'd carry out at a later date until day after day would pass by and they'd all eventually die a peaceful, happy death, upon which I'd say 'I myself didn't kill them, what a shame'… It was too late for Claudia, I'd already done something unforgiveable to her, but it wasn't too late for… for Caren. So, after the Fourth Grail War, I fought and fought for years to regain custody of her and it proved to be an insanely difficult task, as she had a gift tailored for exorcisms that the Church highly valued and wanted to keep for themselves. Eventually, after negotiating with them and agreeing to keep her in the line of Church business under my guidance, they allowed me to be her guardian. So, for a while, I had two new 'daughters' of which were also my disciples. Caren, who I taught the ways of a Priestess, and Rin, who I taught how to be a mage. I was quite the heretic back in my day… Rin eventually left to live on her own, as you know, and it was then just me and Caren. Well, years went by and Caren became a fine priestess, but I soon started to dread the coming years, as the Church would force her to enlist with them and work in other places as an exorcist. That was… delayed, however, upon the arrival of the Fifth Fuyuki War. Even though she wasn't a mage, nor did she have any magic circuits, the Grail chose Caren to be a master and gifted her with command seals."

"I was astonished to see she was chosen to be a master, and at the same time I was terrified. I knew that without any Od whatsoever nor any magic circuits, it would be almost impossible for her to maintain a servant unless she made it sustain itself off the life force of others. She insisted on being a master though, saying if she did so, then the amount of time she had together with me would be prolonged, as the Church wouldn't be so daft to pull her away from a Grail War. She devised a plan where I would act as the magic supply to the servant and she would exist only as its master; that so long as all I did was supply mana, it technically couldn't be counted as interfering with the war… Well, I eventually agreed despite how strongly I was opposed to the idea and then only a few days later, she, or should I say _I_ , summoned her servant, Rider. And thus, the Fifth Fuyuki Holy Grail War began."

"For the very beginning of the war, it went smoothly. Caren and I observed the other participants from afar and didn't make our presence known at all. Soon though, Kiritsugu and Shirou made their debut; and with their appearance, the other servants started dropping like flies, one by one. The servants were one thing, but Kiritsugu's boy, Shirou, was another scary task altogether that we had to deal with. With his skills as a mage, he was almost as strong as a servant himself. Well, Bazett lost her Lancer almost immediately and instead of waiting out the war to see if she could somehow snag victory without a servant, she left, telling me she had better things to do and that I wasted her time with all of this. The ones left that Shirou and Kiritsugu had to beat were Rider, Archer, Berserker, and Caster."

"Kiritsugu and Shirou split up after Lancer's defeat and went their separate ways. Caren and I would later have found out they did it with the plan that Kiritsugu would beat Caster on his own and Shirou would go for Archer. Well, Shirou did so, and when he encountered Archer, he found the master that accompanied it to be his classmate, Rin. During their fight, they were interrupted by Berserker and Illya, who decided the best time to strike would be there when she could take out two servants and their masters at once, and then catch Kiritsugu on his way back from Caster's dwellings at a nearby temple, hopefully after he beat her. This would mean that other than Rider and Caren, Illyasviel would be the only other master with a servant. Oh yes, I should mention that at this time, Shirou didn't know Illyasviel was his sister, as Kiritsugu never disclosed that to him, but Illyasviel knew Shirou was her 'brother' and based on the lies and deceit the Einzberns fed her over the years, she had a strong personal grudge against both him and Kiritsugu. Well, needless to say, Illyasviel underestimated Shirou and his servant and she didn't count on him forming a temporary alliance with Rin during her fight with them."

"While the two fought and quickly overwhelmed Illya, Kiritsugu receded from the mountain temple, apparently hurt and weakened with his Assassin in a similar state; torn up and looking as though it couldn't take another strike before being destroyed. We assumed this meant he managed to beat Caster and her master, albeit barely. It was when we saw this… that Caren decided… she'd take this opportunity to try and take down Assassin for good. She claimed that after Berserker was taken down, she could potentially have to face an alliance of three masters and their servants which would be impossible for her to beat, and while I agreed with that, I also knew she was not necessarily in any better of a fighting shape than Kiritsugu, nor was her servant. Even though I'd been supplying the servant with mana, the fact remained Caren was still the master and it was incredibly draining on her already weak body and Rider wasn't anywhere near peak performance from receiving second-hand mana. I remember… I remember saying to her 'you should just try to outlast them, Caren, and not even fight at all. You don't even really have a specific wish for the Grail, do you?' and she just laughed at me and strolled up to the front of the church we were bunkered in. When she reached the giant, double doors at the front, she stared at them for a moment, and without turning back around to me, she said in a voice more cheerful than I ever heard her speak in: 'I actually do have a wish, dad. A super important wish. But, I can't tell you. For now, it's gonna have to stay a secret.' And with that, she left the church with her Rider and I stood there without responding to her, shocked by how she referred to me. It was the first time since I regained custody of her that she called me her father… When she found Kiritsugu, he… he unveiled that it was a trap he set for her."

"Apparently, he and Shirou knew the whole time that the master of Rider was watching them and almost everything they did, so he devised a plan to lure them out and beat them. He and his Assassin were nowhere near as hurt as they appeared to be; it was an act. Without any hesitation or remorse, he quickly and easily dispatched Rider with his Assassin… Hassan of the Cursed Arm. I watched in fear, hoping he would leave a defenseless girl alone who just lost her servant; he knew that she wasn't a mage because no trace of magic dwelled within her… but, he had other plans. I still remember… what he said to her before… before…"

"'So, the daughter of the current overseer turns out to be the final unaccounted master, huh? Stealing the Grail away from me last time just wasn't enough for you was it, Kirei? You just had to try and take it again…' He said all of this while staring directly at the familiar I was using to watch their battle and then… and then… he pulled out his long-barreled pistol which he used to kill all those mages across the span of his life… the very one he used in his fight with me during the last Grail War and then… and then… he pushed the end of the barrel against the soft, white hair of my daughter that was so identical to her mother's… and pulled the trigger, letting off an ear-ringing bang. He immediately pulled another gun from his coat and shot at my familiar, cutting the feed I had. He shot both times in such quick succession that for a moment, I hoped I was just imagining things; that in the haste of him shooting my familiar, I imagined him shooting my daughter straight through the head with a bullet that came from a gun with no business being used against a normal, innocent, weak, human girl… with a shot that was meant for me… But I knew I was just having wishful thinking. After staring down at the pan of water on the floor, that had once reflected the image from the familiar, for hours on end, up until morning broke and casted its harsh light onto my body that hadn't moved an inch, onto my unblinking eyes… I finally fell to my knees and broke down into a fit of tears, filling the pan with more water as it trickled one drop quickly after the other from my eyes. My daughter, the one last beautiful, shining person I had in my confusing, horrible life… was gone…"

I felt my lip quiver as streams of tears trailed down from each of my eyes. I stare at Kirei, whose face had hardly changed, with his empty eyes staring blankly down at the table and his mouth not frowning, nor grinning, but remaining neutral; the only change in his face being the tears that flowed freely from his eyes, much like my own, that acted as a stark contrast to the uncaring, emotionless face he wore. _Kirei… your life… has been so unfair to you. Everyone that ever became close to him was taken away; whether it be by the grip of death or just from moving away to a foreign land, he's lost everyone… A fact I'm sure he blames himself for…_

"Kire… I-I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. That's… that's *sniff* horrible…" I felt myself grow even more heartbroken whenever I say the words again. _"I'm sorry." … Saying those words again reminds me once more that no one had probably ever apologized to him for taking away what he held dear._ I wipe away the tears staining my face with the blanket I'm wrapped in while Kirei speaks up again, making no move to wipe away his own; acting as if they're not even there.

"When I was doing all of that soul searching right before the Fourth War and even during it… I was so focused on trying to figure out the man I am that somewhere along the way, I stopped trying to be the man I should be. Truly… I was simply just selfish back then. I thought I was so much different from everyone else, that I found joy in things no one else did; that I was a danger to others and myself because of my twisted pleasure. I was just selfish in thinking that; thinking that I was somehow special compared to everyone else. Turns out, there's no such thing as a 'good person'. No one in this world is born inherently good, we're all corrupt. The thing that differentiates us though, is how much we decide to feed that corruption. Saints? Idols? Champions? Heroes of Justice? They're all fakers living a ruse. Yet… they have to continue living that lie forever. You will rarely find someone who truly does something out of the good of their heart and feels joy from it. I only wish… someone would've told me that sooner… Yes, even in light of this, I am still different from others; most would even say there's something wrong with me or I'm not right in the head. But… I was disillusioned in thinking I should give in to the sinful half of myself because it's 'who I really am'. If that was true… everyone would do it, and the outcome would be hell on earth."

I realized at that point I'd been thinking that Kirei's sadistic nature meant he was a bad person or that he was evil, but after hearing all that he said, how can I still think something like that? He's such a confusing man; it's as though his core truly is rotten and evil, but there's something else within him that won't allow that darkness to be nurtured and bloom. It's as though what he said, about how the heroes and saints are all faking it, is true… I look up at his face after dwelling on these thoughts to see it hadn't lifted from staring down at the table, but the tears finally stopped and dried, leaving only faint stains from where they were trailing down his face and on the cloth below from where they hit the table. "Kirei… I normally can't understand talks that are as complicated or deep as this, but for some reason I understand what you're trying to say. If you don't mind, I'd like to make an observation I saw during all you said to me…"

"You're a man that lived his whole life as a 'villain' who carried out heroic deeds… While my grandfather, Kiritsugu, is a man that lived his whole life as a 'hero' who carried out villainous deeds. I don't know anything about 'titles' or 'names' or 'who you really are', but wouldn't this mean, based on the actions you two carried out in your life, you are a good person and my grandfather is a bad one?" His vacant expression slowly faded away as I talked, and he lifted his head so that his gaze could meet my own. Confusion. That's the best way to describe what he looked at me with.

"My… Emiya, who would've thought you'd be such a philosopher given how young-minded you are. In all honesty, I never really looked at it so plain-and-simply as that. I will give some thought to your words, but make no mistake, I'm not a 'good person' by any means." After responding to my 'theory', Kirei rose up from his chair and stacked our empty cups and coffee pot on top of the cookie platter, before walking away and towards the door next to the counter of the café that led into the kitchen. I look after him as he fades into the darkness, away from the dim illumination of the candle, and worry for a moment if he would return. After I hear a bit of clanging in the kitchen, Kirei soon unveils himself from the doorway once more, and returns to the table, carrying with him two water bottles. He offers one to me across the table while retaking his seat.

"Uh, thanks." I grab it from his hand and place it down on the table in front of me, not feeling very thirsty at the moment.

"No need for thanks. I realized after that talk that my throat had become a bit parched. Now, I'm sorry I got derailed on my little sappy back story. Back to the Grail War. After Kiritsugu killed Caren, you could say all hell broke loose from that point on. I left the Church once reality finally sunk in and quickly made way to the spot the fight happened. I was shocked to see her body was still there; Kiritsugu made no effort to hide the evidence or anything, which is what one would normally do during a Holy Grail War. I decide to just take her back to the Church and lay her body down on my bed. I'd conduct a proper burial for her later on. It was after Caren died that I felt something snap inside of me and I decided I would finally settle my business with Kiritsugu. I broke the rules. The overseer joined the War from that point on."

"I took all my raiments with me and left with the goal of ending the life of Kiritsugu. It would be a lie if I said it wasn't purely out of blind hatred for the man, but I truthfully did know that something was wrong with him. During the Fourth War, whether it was my daughter or not, he wouldn't have killed a girl who was neither a mage nor a threat. Him also leaving the evidence of a murder broadly out in a street was a clear indication something wasn't right. Well, it wasn't Kiritsugu I found, but instead his son, Shirou, and Rin who were recovering in Kiritsugu's house. They said they'd beaten Berserker, but they let Illyasviel go free; a mistake that was made clear when Kiritsugu regrouped with them and cussed and cursed Shirou three different ways, saying she was the key to activating the Grail. After that, Kiritsugu left with Assassin to go recapture Illyasviel. After hearing how adamant he was about getting his daughter, not to save her, but for prematurely summoning the Grail, I knew without a doubt something was wrong with him. I told Shirou what Kiritsugu had done to Caren and Shirou was shocked as well. He said that since the Grail War started, Kiritsugu had gotten far more harsh and intense than before; that he seemed to be falling apart. So, I joined in on the temporary alliance with Shirou and Rin in order to stop Kiritsugu, at least until we saw what his objective in all of this was."

"We left to go to the Einzbern mansion, which lied in the snowy rises on the outskirts of Fuyuki. The trek through the woods was going normally for a while, the oddest thing being we saw no indications of Kiritsugu making his way through them, but then something unexpected happened; Assassin descended upon the group and attacked Shirou's servant, Saber. The sneak attack he landed was bad, it had been delivered through her right shoulder blade, preventing that arm's use. The blow, needless to say, evened the playing field between them. It was at this moment we realized Archer hadn't been with us. Rin called out to him, but he didn't respond. Saber was quickly getting overwhelmed by this Assassin's extreme speed and as soon as I was about to join the fight against him, Rin used a command seal to summon Archer to where they were, apparently not knowing both Shirou and I were more than capable of dispatching the Assassin. That wasn't the full depth of her mistake, however. The command spell she used was the last she had; the first being taken up at the very beginning of the war when she summoned Archer and the second used during the fight against Berserker. No sooner than being summoned, now that the contract was void with Rin, Archer attacked your father, Shirou."

"What?! Why would Archer turn on him? And wait, this means there were now two servants fighting you four?" Kirei nods his head and screws the cap back onto his water bottle, of which he took a swig from during my interruption.

"Yes, it was now two servants against three mages and one servant who'd been crippled. It turns out Archer had been waiting all that time for Rin to exhaust all her command spells or to somehow make the contract void so that he could act independently… to kill your father, Shirou." I'd leaned forward enough to where the flickering flames of the candles were just a few inches away from my face, to where I could feel their warmth. The anticipation of his story had made me sit on the edge of my seat, literally. "If his betrayal isn't shocking enough, maybe this will be; Archer not only wanted to kill your father, but he _was_ your father, from the future. Apparently, he regrets how he ended up in life, so he wanted to kill his past self which would erase his horrible future and all the horrible things he did. He had no clue how that'd come to fruition, but the Holy Grail made it possible, as it summons heroes from every age to fight one another, both past, present, and future." The story was becoming unreal at this point. I could tell it was serious and dire, the situation they were in, but I was too amazed at how the story was unfolding to acknowledge that fact.

"What happened next?" I quickly inquired, after seeing Kirei was pausing to take another sip of water.

"I see you're quite enamored with this tale… Well, are you aware of what a Reality Marble is?" I nod my head. "Good, then I don't need to explain it. Well Archer, or Shirou from the future, developed one at some point and he chose that moment to use it so that he could dispose of Shirou quickly and easily. As soon as he began the chant for it, I backed away so that I wouldn't be-"

"Wait, Kirei. You said he had a chant for it? Would you mind relaying it to me?" Kirei looked at me quizzically upon my asking. "Please. I would just like to know it." _Well, other than just wanting to know it, I need to know it. Chances are, this 'chant' is what activates it. And more than likely, this Reality Marble is the one my father has now that Rin and Luvia said I need to learn. I never knew there was a chant for it… Maybe with it, I will be able to use it._ Kirei looks at me with his blank stare after I practically beg him to tell me, and without agreeing to or denying my request, he begins it.

" _I am the bone of my sword_

 _Steel is my body and fire is my blood_

 _I have created over a thousand blades_

 _Unknown to Death,_

 _Nor known to Life._

 _Have withstood pain to create many weapons_

 _Yet, those hands will never hold anything_

 _So as I pray, Unlimited Blade Works_."

"Unlimited… Blade Works." I repeated the words in awe immediately after Kirei said them. _Blade Works? His 'Reality Marble'… Is it one that involves swords?_ The first thing that came to mind was my obsession with swords and how I constantly dream of them even though I've never seen one in real life. _My father… and his Reality Marble; they must be what I inherited my attraction to them from._ I repeat the words of the chant in my head, of which I immediately memorized once Kirei spoke them. As I repeated it in my head, I could feel my heartbeat quicken and my head pound. My right eye twitched and burned to the point that I had to reach up and vigorously rub it with my hand once I finally finished the chant. _Just thinking about it invokes some weird reactions from me; it obviously has some type of connection to me._ Kirei continued looking at me in confusion while I went through concentrating and then to whimpering while rubbing my aching eye.

"Are you… ok?" I nod at him while blinking my eye, finding that I can see out of it just fine still. "Alright then… well, back to what I was saying. I didn't know it was a Reality Marble that Archer was using, but I knew it was a powerful spell of some kind so both I and Assassin evacuated the area before it went off. The only ones sucked into his world were Shirou, of course, and Saber and Rin. Only a moment after they were all spirited away, Assassin engaged on me. Unbeknownst to me, Kiritsugu told him that I was a target that needed to be eliminated, which is why he engaged on our group to begin with. As if that wasn't odd enough, he told Assassin that if he saw an opening, he was to take out either Saber and Archer as well. He knew there could only be one servant left standing in the Holy Grail War and he apparently wasn't going to have mercy, not even against his own son. The fight between us was a close one, but I outmatched the Assassin in terms of pure skill, plus I was far more determined to win than he; even if indirectly, that servant played a role in the demise of my daughter. It was because of this that the servant decided to fall back on his Noble Phantasm. And before you interrupt me again, a Noble Phantasm is the crystallization of a Heroic Spirit's legend and it takes form as their ultimate weapon. Truly, against me it would've been my undeniable demise; the strike his Noble Phantasm, Zabaniya, would have delivered. Unfortunately for him though, I had a trump card up my sleeve."

"That trump card was literally up my sleeve." Kirei once again reaches to his right sleeve and rolls it down to reveal his intricate, red tattoo which had multiple strokes of the depiction faded away as though they'd been scrubbed off. "These are command spells. Normally, they're used for the sole purpose of controlling your servant, but the way they do so is by being small carriers of immense magical energy. It's because of this that you can Counteract a spell's effect with them or use them as a reserve of magical energy to conduct a spell yourself, if you know how to. It was because of the adeptness I had in this field that when the Assassin created a dualist heart of my own with his Noble Phantasm to be crushed and, in turn, crush my own, true one, that I could stop it. I simply overwrote the fake heart he created and ended the spell then and there. It took me about four seals though, so it was an extremely costly task in all due respects. Or maybe it wasn't just my interference with the spell; perhaps my innate luck is just extremely high, who knows. It was at that point I realized I couldn't pull off stopping his Noble Phantasm even a second time more, so I tried to end it quickly, but even with all of my skill, a mage could hardly hope to defeat a heroic spirit. Or so I thought. I fought with him a while longer, managing to keep him at bay while keeping myself alive, but not being able to deal any significant damage to him. My hope was that Shirou and the others would emerge victorious from Archer's world at some point and help me beat Assassin, or at the very least, dissuade him from continuing to attack. However, time went by and they still hadn't emerged… and Assassin decided to use his Noble Phantasm once more."

"I still had command seals, twice as many than the ones I used to counteract his Noble Phantasm the first time, but I knew for some reason if I attempted to stop his attack this time, it wouldn't work. So, instead of using the remaining eight seals to defend, I attacked with them. Assassin hadn't even considered the possibility of me being able to strike him down, that is if I even reached him in time before he crushed the fake heart, but his underestimating of me proved to be the death of him." I blink at Kirei for a moment, wondering what he meant, but then I realized he was implying that he won that confrontation.

"Are you saying you actually beat him, Kirei? How'd you do it?" I didn't know much about these Heroic Spirits, much less have I personally seen them in action, but the way he's been describing them this whole time makes them sound as though they're unkillable monsters. _That one, Archer, is my father from the future. And he has a Reality Marble capable of taking down someone who can use true, legitimate sorcery. I don't understand how a plain-looking priest like him could destroy something like that._ Kirei dug around in his coat pocket while I debated the possibility of him beating one and then finally pulled his hand out. He tossed on the table what he retrieved from within his coat and it's… _A sword hilt? With jewels embedded in it?_

"This is an Azoth Blade; or at least, what's left of one. After Tokiomi died, I searched his mansion to see if there was anything that he had that I should make sure fell into the hands of his family, instead of the Association. I came across this and instantly recognized it as the ceremonious Azoth Blade. Considering they're usually meant as a sort of 'graduation present' I realized he planned to give this to me as congratulations for completing my tutelage. Ever since I found it, I've kept it close to my side. The thought once occurred to me of whether or not I should give it to Rin as a memento of her father, but I selfishly denied the premise and kept it for myself. And good thing I had; for whenever I closed the distance on Assassin, I unveiled the sword and filled it with as much magic as I could and then bolstered it even further with every command seal left on my body. Assassin knew the blow would be fatal and instantly cancelled his own casting to crush my heart so that he could try and evade the attack, but he made the wrong choice. Had he crushed the heart, he could've ensured we both died, but instead, he alone perished there after being violently cleaved in two from the erupting sword of light I'd created. The blade was put well over the limit of its magic capacity, so it shattered, leaving it in the state you see it in now."

I look down at the sword hilt which I now notice has the cross guard of it blackened and charred from what I assume was the explosion it created when he struck down Assassin. I fight the persisting urge to reach across and snatch it so that I could more closely admire it before Kirei grabs it and returns it inside of his coat. I return my gaze to Kirei so that we could continue the conversation, trying my hardest to forget about the remnants of his sword for now. "Wait, Kirei, what happened after you beat Assassin? To both my father and Kiritsugu? Also, if you used all your seals to take down Assassin, how do you still have them now?" Kirei finished the last sip of his bottled water, placed it on the table after screwing the cap on, and then rubbed his eyes a bit from, what I assume is, the tiredness of our late-night conversations kicking in.

"Come now boy, one question at a time. These command seals-" he gestures to them once more on his right arm "aren't the same as the ones I used to defeat Assassin. A single one of them is the final remaining command seal from your father from the Fifth War," he points to one specific one that's almost directly on his wrist before pulling his sleeve down to cover his arm once more "while the others I acquired… much more recently." _He acquired them recently? What does that mean?_ "Anyways, as for what happened after Assassin's defeat, I won't sugar-coat it; your father defeated Archer and then we, all together, killed Kiritsugu."

"What? You can't just say it so plainly like that! You're going to have to elaborate more." Kirei groans and rubs his forehead, indicating to me he's not only tired now, but also more than likely annoyed.

"Compared to everything else I've explained, it's nothing as dramatic or important. To go over the full venue, here's what happened: Once Shirou beat Archer, I stopped for a moment to help Rin heal Saber and then we headed onward to the Einzbern mansion where Kiritsugu would be. Turns out, the whole point of Kiritsugu making Assassin engage on our group was to hopefully take out two servants successfully, even if one of them was Assassin, his own. He accomplished his goal. You see, once only one servant remains, the Grail can grant a wish, even if it isn't the victor's own. The Grail just has to recognize you as a victor; and more than anyone else, it saw Kiritsugu as its victor. You see, I'd assumed the extent of the Grail's reach were the people it cursed and killed in the Fuyuki fire, but it's reach went a bit farther than that. To Kiritsugu. It cursed him with degradation of his sanity. And so, after both Archer and Assassin fell, Kiritsugu sacrificed his daughter, Illyasviel, to the Grail, and by the time we made it there, he had casted his wish upon it. The first of all of us to find out the Grail had been corrupted was Kiritsugu; and even despite seeing the hellish world it promised him, he gave it his wish. 'The salvation of humanity.' The Grail took that wish and granted it by pouring out its curses and hellfire once more from the sky above. Kiritsugu was so far gone he didn't even realize what he'd done was a bad thing, nor did the thought occur to him we could easily defeat him and destroy the Grail once more. He hadn't even summoned the Grail in the proper place where its form would be most complete and instead did it at the Einzberns mansion, where he had just slaughtered all the inhabitants. And so, we finished him off. It was Shirou, actually, who struck down his father. He didn't even know what was happening; all he did was mutter 'I did it' and 'It's over, Irisviel' while Shirou drove a blade through his heart and kicked him off and into the river of black sludge he had made pour down and run through the forest." I find a bad taste in my mouth at what Kirei tells me; about how my other grandfather finally met his end.

"I-I see…" I didn't know the life of someone who had such a beautiful wish ended so pitifully. _It's really heartbreaking…_

"I'm sure you can tell why I didn't want to go into detail about it now. I hate to admit this, but I truly did regret that Kiritsugu lost his sanity. Not because I thought it was 'sad' or 'a bad ending', but because I knew he probably held no remorse nor knew he even committed the atrocities he did; specifically, him murdering my daughter. After Shirou struck him down, he simply made Arturia destroy the Grail, the extent of its destruction having only resulted in a forest fire." _So that's the end of the Holy Grail War… Wait!_

"Um, Kirei, not to be rude or anything, but what did all of that have to do with my father and how he ended up in jail? That story was mostly about you." Kirei scoffs at my question and turns his gaze away from me.

"I'm sorry my storytelling skills didn't live up to your expectations. I wasn't close to the boy Shirou Emiya, I only watched him from afar throughout the Grail War; I told you everything I knew about him." I could tell he didn't appreciate my lack of gratitude for all the information he gave me.

"I-I'm sorry Kirei, you told me much more than I ever thought I'd learn. I was just saying it didn't really explain how he ended up in jail."

"Yes, it surely didn't. Well, after all the turmoil of the war, Shirou transferred his last unused command spell to me and Saber returned to the throne of heroes. It's also worth noting that he learned how to access his Reality Marble during his engagement with Archer." _I knew it._ "Shirou and Rin had apparently been close during and before the War, and they decided to become a couple and move to the Clock Tower in London to further develop their mage skills. Or at least, that's what it seemed like, but in actuality, they were mainly trying to convince the Association to dismantle the Grail once and for all and to end the wars. The Association gave little attention to their pleas, however, and planned to only further the development of the Grail War. This remained unknown to Shirou and Rin for a while though, and after the two left Fuyuki, the only other thing I learned about Shirou Emiya is that he gained two new hatreds after the Fifth Fuyuki War; one being towards me, as he associated me with being the reason as to why his father went insane, and the other being towards the Grail War itself, seeing it as an evil ritual that did nothing more than to bring about sorrow and ruin people's lives. That second hatred he developed is the reason he now sits in a cell with his hands cuffed together. You see, the Grail War in Fuyuki is not the only one to exist. There have been multiple across the world and while they all differ quite a bit, they're all dedicated to the same end goal of achieving the Holy Grail and having a wish granted. Well, right here in London, just about six months ago, a Holy Grail War was being attempted to be conducted." All at once, I pieced together what must've happened to my father.

"Don't tell me… he…"

"Yes, that's right. Your father stopped the First London Grail War from occurring. You see, the Clock Tower was becoming impatient with the Wars inconsistencies at achieving the ultimate goal of the Mages' Association: to reach the root of all magic. So, after many years of researching and testing, paired with the consecutive blunder of the last Fuyuki Grail War, they decided to force their own Grail War by creating their own lesser grail and transferring the grand magic circle to summon the greater grail into London. It worked, and this was found out by Shirou almost immediately as one day both he and Rin had command seals appear on their bodies once more. He went to the higher ups of the Clock Tower and demanded they tell him and Rin what was going on. After confirming they were both legitimate masters for the War they were planning, they disclosed to them what they did. They forced the Greater Grail to make its presence in London for a War. Your father, after finding this out, wasted little time in finding out where the lesser grail was being kept and he learned it was in an off-limits facility far off from London where they were recreating replicas of Einzbern Homunculi. One amongst them was the lesser grail."

Now I truly knew what the crime my father must've committed was. He went to that facility, found the lesser grail… and killed her. "You don't have to say anymore, Kirei. I already think I know what he did. He went there and killed the lesser grail, right?" Kirei shook his head and looked at me with his cold, blank stare which indicated to me I was about to hear something I really didn't want to.

"I suppose yes, he did do so… but how would he know which amongst them was the lesser grail? Do you think the Tower would actually inform him of something like that?" I felt my stomach grow to ache and feel sick as the realization of what he meant slowly came over me. "Your father went there, and he did destroy, or 'kill', the lesser grail as you said… but he did so by killing every homunculus that dwelled within the facility. Anyone who tried to stop him or get in his way, he also killed. And once everything that could be a potential threat was eliminated amongst the facility, he destroyed the facility itself, reducing it to a pile of what it once was and within it, the corpses of all he slaughtered." My mind was blown upon hearing what crime it was that got my father in jail, but I swallowed my disgust and decided to finish pressing for answers.

"Ok then… So, how did the Tower manage to catch someone powerful enough to do everything you just said? He even has a Reality Marble, right?"

"Yes, you are correct. Normally, he'd probably be able to take on any person in the Clock Tower, maybe even all of them at once, but they were painfully aware of how powerful he was. So, they just waited in the dwellings of him and Rin on the same night he destroyed the facility. Word travels fast to the Association about any obstacle in their plans, and they knew immediately it was your father who destroyed the place. So, they waited, with your mother, Rin, in their possession, for Shirou to return. Once he did, they instantly jumped him, restrained him, and into the prison he went. Rin was almost arrested to, but after a lot of interrogation with the two, they concluded she wasn't involved in your father's terrorist plan, so they let her go. She did, however, get kicked from the Tower for her potentially assisting as an accomplice, whether intentional or not." _And that's how I ended up in this situation. After hearing what he did, it's not shocking to see he got arrested, nor is it hard to believe Rin can't get anywhere with a plea for his innocence._

"Wait, Kirei, how do you fit into all of this? You shouldn't even be here now, right? You should be at your church in that Fuyuki place." Kirei smiles at my question and shows a pleased face, of which I hadn't seen in a while.

"Good, you finally asked the golden question. 'What's your role?' 'How do you know all of this?' Well I'll tell you, as I said earlier, the Church hires someone from their own ranks to oversee the war, and since I've had more experience in the Grail Wars than anyone else, they chose me to come here temporarily to oversee this War. Because of my position in it, I was disclosed all the information of what transpired, and I received the command seals of the few masters who got chosen before Shirou destroyed the lesser grail. They were his, Rin's, and another mage from amongst the Tower's more prestigious; that's where the ones that now rest on my arm came from. I was actually supposed to leave quite a while back, but I thought this change in scenery would be good for me… that, and I could've sworn I felt a shift in the winds, indicating something big was about to happen." Kirei looks from my face and down my upper torso before letting his gaze rise back up to my face, almost as though he's sizing me up. "And it seems I was correct."

"What do you mean by that?" Kirei chuckles and rises up from his seat, just as three of the seven candles extinguish from being burned down to the base of their wicks, the others sure to follow in suit shortly after.

"I'm not a fool, Emiya. Your father suddenly gets imprisoned and a little while later I see his walking battery of a son wandering around and asking questions about his father and the like. Are you saying it's just a coincidence that this 'son' of his with the capabilities of a mage stronger than I've ever seen before suddenly shows up out of the blue in your father's most desperate time of need? You're planning, or should I say _he's_ planning, a prison break." Given how sharp Kirei is, it should come as no shock that he found out what our intentions are.

"Y-Yes, ok. You're right. Are you going to stop me?" Kirei laughs and walks to the door of the café. He stands at the door for a moment before finally turning his head back to me and looking at me with his cold stare. His cold stare that at the same time held within it a spark of interest. A spark that paired well and glistened with the dimming flares of the few remaining candles.

"I won't stop you, no. If anything, I'll help you." And with that, all the remaining candles extinguished and I hard the door open and close as Kirei took his exit.

I light a small flare in my hand and use it to guide myself up the staircase to retrieve my clothes. I'm surprised to see they're in front of the door to the upstairs floor, dry and neatly folded for me. I remove the blanket and put my clothes back on before folding the blanket itself and placing it in the vacant spot where my clothes had lied.

Once I exit the café, I'm startled to see Kirei still outside and standing next to one of the umbrella tables. He's staring up at the sky which had finally stopped snowing and had cleared up to unveil the stars. "Uh Kirei?" He doesn't turn to look at me and just instead grunts in response. "You weren't out here waiting on me, were you?" He answers me, still without turning.

"I was, actually. Our candles ran out and I didn't want to have to bother Charles for anymore, so I came out here where the stars would act as our new light. Though, I do wish to take my leave soon; dawn will break not very long from now. I just wanted to see if you had anything else to ask me." I look up at the giant tower to see the big clock face. _5:30 exactly… that's just great._

"I actually have to get going too, Kirei. Thanks so much for this, but I have to try and get back before… Wait, there is one more thing I'd like to mention to you. Do you know anything about voices that speak to you?" Kirei finally looks down at me instead of maintaining his gaze with the sky; apparently my question both confused and intrigued him. I quickly explain to him the instances of that voice that speaks to me sometimes and about the experience I had with the 'fake' wolves.

"So, you have a little voice in your head that's been saying all of this? Heh… I'm not so sure, boy. Who knows, you might be a modern-day prophet." Kirei found humor in what I explained to him and was chuckling and apparently not taking it seriously.

"Hey, this isn't supposed to be funny. You saw those bite marks on my body, remember? And what's a prophet?"

"Ah nothing, just the ramblings of an old man. Look, the way I see it, this 'voice' has been helping you, so if it really is there, it clearly doesn't mean any harm. I see no point in bothering to figure out what it is if that's the case." I sigh in annoyance, but quickly dismiss the thought, telling myself even though he didn't offer any sound advice on it, he did just tell me more than I could've ever hoped for about my father. _But still, he didn't even attempt to guess at it…_

"Well Kirei, that really is all I have for now. I suppose this is goodbye." Kirei nods and reaches out to grab my hand and then firmly shake it up and down, for whatever reason. He looks at my disgruntled face due to what he just did and sighs.

"It's a handshake, Emiya. You do it to say hello and goodbye. Well then, if you ever have any more questions, please don't refrain from returning here. Just take care to not tread on the verge of death next time. Oh, speaking of which, that rule about traffic doesn't mean you're not allowed to walk on the streets at all, Emiya. So long as you pay attention, you really should return home by walking on them rather than trudging through the hayfields. It'll save you time and energy." I feel my face heat up in embarrassment and mentally slap myself silly for not realizing something so simple. _I went through all of that torture when I could've just walked down the streets to get here?! I'm such an idiot…_

I thank Kirei once more for all he's done for me and then turn to walk away back towards the direction of home, opposite of the way Kirei went. I don't make it far though, only about three steps, before I hear Kirei's gruff voice call out to me from behind.

"I never found it out by the way, Emiya. Her wish, that is. Caren's… Out of all the things that have happened throughout my life that I regret… Is it strange that the one thing I regret the most is having never heard her wish? It's always been on my mind, ever since that day. 'What could a girl who seemed so empty and twisted as her own father possibly wish for that made her seem so happy and hopeful in that one moment?' That's what I ask myself every time I think about it. But, that's a question I'll probably never get the answer to. I suppose that's the cross I have to bear for allowing what happened to her to transpire… Emiya… I say all this to say that if there's someone important to you and they have a wish, you should try your hardest to hear it for them. Because one day… they might not be able to chase after that dream anymore. The one person left who could've fulfilled that dream for them could've been you…" I stand as still as a statue, listening to each and every one of Kirei's words, forgetting to even breathe. I didn't know how to respond to him, or if he even wanted me to respond at all. Regardless, not long after he said his piece, I heard the crunching of his footsteps behind me as he treaded away from where we stood in front of the café. Footstep after footstep, until eventually I couldn't hear them anymore no matter how hard I listened. I was left alone in front of that dark café, my only companions being my own confused thoughts and the last, few lingering words he'd left me with.


	16. Lust?

What Kirei said was indeed true; walking back on the main road is saving me a lot of time and energy compared to struggling through the tall weeds of the hayfields. I look down at my feet as they step one foot in front of the other down the black pavement. My previously luxurious, brown suede slippers were now ragged and stained from my excursion tonight, but I didn't care. I know knew, to the extent I possibly could, who I am and the position that I'm in. _My father did indeed commit a crime though… one that I can't help but look at as horrid and disgusting. Should I still help Luvia save him?_ "Ha, yeah right… Like I still have a choice in the matter anymore." Yes, whether I felt I should save him or not, it was too late. Not only had I promised Luvia and Auguste, but I told myself I wouldn't stop till I met my father face to face.

Even though I was on this huge road that led to that giant, buzzing city of London, there were hardly any vehicles on it tonight. There were more than I could count during the car ride with Luvia in the day, but only a few have passed me tonight. _If I had to guess why, it's probably because this is the rural countryside away from London, so not as many people traverse on this side than the other surrounding areas of the big hub city._ I'm not complaining though; the less cars that interrupt the peaceful trek back home, the better.

I finally arrive at the familiar lake and realize that I've been making pretty good time considering daylight still hasn't broke and I've once again arrived at the only waypoint I have on the journey. _Traveling on the roads really does save time… I left at a bit past 4:30, so it has to be close to 7:00, or when dawn breaks, by now._ Taking this into account, and my own curiosity in how much endurance I have, I decide to attempt making the rest of the way back by running. I look down at my slippers and realize they're not going to be much help, so I remove them, one foot at a time, and place my bare feet against the cold, slick highway. After securing the slippers under my right arm, I gaze out in the distance in an attempt to see the forest where the mansion lies. While still looking forward, I lower my stance and bend my knees. Without wanting to wait any longer, I bolt forward and stomp down one foot after the other while racing as fast as I could to get back home.

By the time I finally reached the edge of the woods, I had trouble catching my breath and the pads of my feet burned and stung, albeit less than they did when I went through the fields, but they still hurt nonetheless. While staring down at the white puffs of hot air breaking free from my mouth and the warmth of my body and to the frigid air that surrounds me, I realize that it's still dark. I quickly catch my breath and then glance up to see that the sky had begun turning pale, indicating the sun was just over the horizon, but I'd still managed to beat it. I let myself crack a smile at this before grabbing onto the top wire of the fence and lifting myself over it. At this point, I reinforce my eyes so that I can see while making my way through the dark forest, the canopy of leaves blocking the light of the stars.

I sigh in relief when I see the yard come into view, and before I know it, I'm back home. I half-expected to end up fighting another pack of wolves or have some other weird occurrence popping up, but my journey back home went off without a hitch. After stepping into the dew-covered grass of the front yard, I turn and rub the pads of my feet against the bark of the trees to clean them as best I could before putting my slippers back on. _Then again… I suppose It doesn't really matter if I put dirty feet in these ragged things…_ After scraping my feet against the rough bark one last time to get all the dirt and leaves off, I crouch down and start sliding the slippers on. While I do so, I glance at the front door of the mansion. _Should I just go right in the front? Auguste is probably up by now and he more than likely noticed I was absent… I'll still take the window, just in case he didn't._

I struggle to reach up and grab the ledge of the next windowsill on the side of the house. Once again, I failed to remember to drop down the blanket ladder and I was paying for it now more than ever. The fatigue from walking all that distance finally hit me when I started trying to climb, and I noticed how aching all my muscles were. Combined with how sleepy I was from being up all night, reaching up to my window felt more strenuous than all that running I did. Even so, I grit my teeth together and strain with all my might to reach up while hanging from the side of the house. After putting much more willpower into it than I thought necessary, I catch my fingers onto the edge of the windowsill and quickly jerk my other hand up to grab on as well. In one swift, painful motion, I jerk my body up and through it and flop face first onto the floor of my room. While breathing heavily, I turn over onto my back and rub my sides, feeling my lungs burning. I look down at my left hand and raise it up in the air to inspect it. _Am I… out of shape? I really need to start putting more effort into exercising…_

I didn't waste too much time on the bedroom floor and soon rose back up to my feet to look around expectantly. I don't know why I thought I'd find something, but sure enough, the door to the hallway is open and there's a note on the nightstand next to my bed. I approach it slowly and nervously, unsure of what it'll say, and when I reach it, I see there's a fancifully written "A" in cursive… in Auguste's hand writing. "Oh boy…" I decide to pull the bandage off quickly and I don't hesitate any longer to snatch it up and quickly unfold it.

"Dear Master Emiya, I see you've once again run off for one of your 'walks'. If you're reading this, then you've returned before I've found you. Even though I fully trust you were going to return, I'd rather not have a repeat of that morning with Luvia, so I've taken the car to take a quick drive and look for you. I'll be back no later than 8, and if I haven't found you by then, I expect to find you back at the mansion. Also, Miss Luvia is still in bed, so please take care not to wake her. If you want to deprive yourself of sleep, that's one thing, but please don't push the same thing onto her. When I return, we're going to have a little talk. Yours truly, Auguste."

 _Ripping the bandage off quickly doesn't help at all…_ The weird mixture of impending doom from Auguste's "talk" and the regret from having made him worry about me create a bad feeling in my gut, but I try not to think about it and decide I should really, REALLY take a bath. I did nothing but put myself through even more physical exertion and got even filthier last night and I still haven't bathed since the night before. _If I only smelled musky last night, then I must smell like hot garbage now._ Thinking about how bad I smell suddenly prompts the memory of last night when I hugged Luvia. I reach up and lightly knock myself on the head a few times, realizing how much of a fool I made myself out to be by doing that. _And now she thinks I smell bad… great._ I keep mentally scolding myself while going through my dressers to find a new outfit to wear when I finish my bath. Once I decide on a long-sleeved, white t-shirt and some comfy sweatpants, I top it off by grabbing some boxers and then head out and into the hallway.

I walk slowly down the dark hallway and wonder what Auguste is going to scold me about when he finally returns. My pondering is short-lived and is interrupted by something… screaming. I drop my clothes to the floor and immediately make a beeline for Luvia's room. _Luvia?! Why's she screaming?_ It wasn't very loud, and it sounded muffled, which scared the daylights out of me as I raced down the hallway, despite my aching legs. When I reach the turn in the hallway, I grab onto the corner where the walls intersect to anchor myself while turning, so as to not slow down. As soon as I cut the corner and continue running to where her room is, I reinforce my hearing to better pick up her voice. After increasing it a few notches, I hear it come in clearly enough to make me feel as though I'm right next to her.

"Ah! Ah… ah, ah, AH! Mmm!" The longer I hear her "shouting", the slower my pace falls while I continue running towards her room. _These shouts… It doesn't sound like she's in danger. Or, not only that, haven't I heard them before?_ Accompanied by her shouting, I hear the constant rustling of cloth all around her and a sloshing and light, smacking sound. My run all but becomes a walk as I slowly approach her door and deactivate my reinforcement, no longer needing it. I feel my face burning up and I'm not exactly sure why. I stare down at her brass door handle, only a few armlengths away, while debating what to do. _Sh-She can still be in trouble, right? I don't know what's happening to her behind that door._ I suddenly remember the trick I started developing after my encounter with Rin when she shot me. How to suppress and camouflage my magic presence. I planned on using it for stealing cookies late at night when I don't want Luvia to feel me walking past her door, but now it seems I've finally come across a practical use for it. As I kneel down and crawl towards her door after concealing my presence, I begin to start questioning myself. _Wait… If I think she's in danger, why am I sneaking up on her door and concealing my presence instead of calling out to her or bursting through the door? I… just want to get the drop on her. I-In case someone's holding her hostage! Yeah, I just have to play it safe!_ After thoroughly convincing myself of my intentions, I nervously look at the keyhole and swallow deeply before slowly raising my eye up to look inside. What I see through the keyhole almost makes me choke on my spit.

Luvia is lying down in her bed, on her back, naked. Well, I suppose she isn't totally naked; there's a pair of pants with one leg sprawled down her stomach and down between her crotch, barely covering it from my gaze, and the other up, sandwiched between her breasts, and wrapped around her neck like a scarf. Other than that, she has another cloth clutched in her left hand and pressed firmly against her nose. Her eyes are closed and she's steadily screaming… moaning into the piece of cloth while also breathing heavily through said piece of cloth. My mind whirs at what I'm watching, and I can't decide if I'm embarrassed by what I'm seeing, excited, or worried that she's doing something so bizarre. Just as I start trying to figure out what in the world she's even doing, I see the cloth barely covering her crotch rapidly rising and falling and I look to the side of it to see her arm sticking in underneath it. _Her hand… she has her hand right where her p-pussy is. She's doing exactly what I… what Shirou did to Rin in that memory. Sticking her fingers in there…_ My eyes fall on her bountiful breasts which are bouncing lightly up and down. From the angle I'm staring at, they look just like that giant ice cream sundae Auguste gave us for desert that one time. Each huge mound of vanilla ice cream topped with a bright red cherry…

"Nghh… Ah! I… I just don't get it…" For the first time since I've started listening to her moaning, she says actual words. "Even… even- ah! After washing it, they still smell so strongly… It's his fault I'm doing this…" _"Smell"? "His"? What in the world is she talking about?_ I squint at the cloth she has pressed up against her nose and reinforce my eyesight to get a closer look. As soon as I inspect it more closely, I feel my breathing stop. _No way…_ I look down at the pair of pants and confirm what I was fearing. _Those pants… that cloth... They're what I was wearing that night whenever that white, sticky stuff… that cum spilled out from my cock and into them while I was dreaming. My pants… my boxers! She found them?!_ I feel my cock rise up and harden in my pants, pressing up rigidly. _That explains why she was acting so weird last night and when I hugged her… that smell, my smell, she liked it?_ I continue staring at her without blinking, watching the effect my scent has on her play out.

I notice her moaning begin to pick up in both frequency and volume as her hand movements beneath the pants' leg grow faster. "Ah, ah, AH! Even after cumming two times last night… the first thing I jump at after waking up are his clothes- ngh! Just to do it again. I'm so pathetic…" _This is the third time she's done this?!_ I feel my mind grow hazy and the most prominent thing within my head is the overwhelming desire to reach up, open the door, and then run in and conduct a repeat of what I saw in that dream. _I mean, it'd be ok right? She obviously wants it…_ I almost do it, but stop myself, feeling my rational side kicking in. Kick in as it may though, I however don't pull myself away from the show. After a few more seconds of her pleasuring herself, she suddenly stops moving altogether. I feel my heartbeat stop, fearing that I might've been caught. As soon as this fear arises though, I see her lift her hand up from her crotch. The moment she pulls her hand away from it, I zoom in on the area, and for a brief moment, I see her bright pink pussy, slick with juice, before the pant leg falls from her hand and covers it back up. I almost audibly sigh in disappointment, but I stop myself when I see her press her soaking wet fingertips against the cloth of the pant leg and press down against her pussy. As soon as she presses against it, she pushes it into her folds and rubs up and down violently. Her moaning actually does reach the point of a scream and I press my face as close against the lock as I can, feeling as though I wasn't looking close enough. "Mm, mm ah nnh, Emiyaaa!" As soon as she calls out my name, she arcs her back up and I see her huge tits bounce up with her and then fall back down, wobbling as they do. She stays arced up like the curve in my knife's blade while her fingers remain stuffed up into her pussy, the cloth of my pants' leg coiled around them and shoved in with them. As her breathing increases in desperateness, I see the cloth of the pants' leg around her hand grow darker from her pussy's juices, the proof of her orgasm, soaking into it. _So that's orgasm number three? Huh…_

As soon as she finished her business, she rose up from the bed and dizzily got to her feet. She began folding my, previously, favorite pair of pajama pants, but I didn't stick around to see her put away my clothes while butt-naked. I slowly crawl away from her door and once I'm a safe enough distance away, I myself dizzily rise to my feet and begin making my way back to where I dropped my clothes at. I dispel my presence concealment and instead of thinking about what I saw and what to do about it, I instead replay what I saw over and over again, trying my hardest to recall it as vividly as possible. Her big, succulent breasts, her beautifully pink pussy, her sexy moans as she brought herself to an orgasm… while thinking of me. I thought about all of it while I walked down the halls, scooped up my clothes, made my way to the bathroom, went inside, prepared the hot shower, and stepped inside the tub.

I vied for a shower instead of a bath, thinking the hot water falling on me would snap me out of whatever weird trance I've found myself in, but it only made me feel even hotter, obviously. I look down at my fully erect cock and grimace at the sensation. _It almost feels like it hurts…_ I wonder at what I can do to soothe myself and eventually find my right hand wandering from its vacant spot at my side and up and to my pulsating appendage. I find myself operating on instinct instead of thought and soon my hand is clasped tightly around my member, stroking up and down. It doesn't take long for me to realize it's not only helping the pain to subside, but it's making me feel good, really good. I grip it harder and stroke it up and down, base to the tip, faster and faster. I don't know how long I kept doing that, but soon I felt the sensation becoming more and more pleasurable and I pressed my forehead firmly against the left wall that I'd been leaning against. "Nnn- NGH!" I grunt loudly as the sensation reaches its peak and I finally feel sweet release. I watch as stream after stream of the white substance spurts out and splatters against the wall of the shower. After it finally stops shooting out, I feel my knees weaken and tremble, and I let myself lower down and sit in the tub. I have no idea how long I was "remedying" myself, but I suddenly realize the water falling onto me from the showerhead isn't hot, but ice-cold. _The water… the hot water ran out?_

I washed off the thick, white goo from the shower wall and down the drainage pipe before taking my cold shower, much to my displeasure. Despite not enjoying the shower, at least I realized that cold water, not hot, snaps your mind back to reality and puts things back into perspective. I had no idea what I did or why I did it, so I began to try and think of what reason, logically, that I did it. _My original take on sexual reproduction is that it is for that purpose alone; sexual reproduction. However, after seeing and hearing what Luvia did just now and last night, and after the accident I had a few nights ago and just now in this shower, I can only assume that the main purpose of sexual reproduction is still to procreate, but the individual act of "releasing" is not only a component of that, but it's a necessity. Whether it's done through the act of sex or not, the release, orgasm, or climax is something one has to regularly accomplish. From what I just experienced, if it's left unattended to, it leads to loss of rationality, frustration, and clouding of judgement… or maybe I'm just overthinking things._ Regardless, there's one thing I do know, and that's that if there's something necessary to humans, such as food, water, shelter, or clothing, they'll naturally seek it out, just as I naturally did that… thing just now.

Once I finished the uncomfortable shower and my little soliloquy, I dry off and put on my new pair of clothes before looking at the dirtied and ruined garments from my trek last night. _I'll just hide them for now… I don't know what else to do._ I finish cleaning myself up and exit the bathroom, wondering what to do now. I decide to go to the kitchen and find something, anything to eat; I'm starving after everything I did last night. And after that, maybe a nap. I haven't had any sleep for a while now and I could really use some.

I drop off the ruined clothes in my room and hide them underneath my mattress. After that, I continue making my way down the hallway. When I pass Luvia's room, I stop and debate for a moment whether or not I should look inside again. I go against my better judgement and do so, only to find Luvia back in her nightgown and passed out beneath her covers, lightly snoring. _Really? Though, after experiencing "cumming" firsthand myself, I can see why she wants to sleep after it._ I pull my gaze away from her, feeling my sleepiness growing from seeing her contently dozing away before continuing my way to the kitchen.

Once I open the double doors to the kitchen, I'm greeted by a seemingly unhappy Auguste, who's flipping through the grey pages of the morning newspaper. "Ah ha ha… Auguste… your back…" Auguste folds the newspaper together and lowers it, meeting my nervous look with his stern gaze.

"You took the words right out of my mouth." I just continue nervously laughing while inching my way around the kitchen and to the refrigerator. "You know," Auguste calls out to me without turning to look at me as I rummage through the fridge to find something quick to eat. "in all honesty, I wouldn't care if you left the mansion at night to go wherever it is you go, so long as you tell me and also promise you'll come back. In fact, I'd even cover for you when it comes to Miss Luvia." For a second, I feel as though I'll be able to walk away from this scot-free, but I know Auguste better than that. "However," _there it is_ "you don't do that. I also know that whatever it is you did the night before, you weren't just going out for a walk. I reviewed the security footage, just as I always do, and I saw you return with blood all over you and a bad gash on your back thigh. I don't know what it is you're doing, but if you're doing something that's putting your life in danger, I might just have to stop you." I drop the apple from my hand I'd just taken a bite out of while he spoke, and almost choked on the bite as I swallowed it.

"Stop me?! I thought you just said you'd be ok with it?" He frowns at me and sets the newspaper down on the counter before standing up from his chair and to his feet.

"Yes, I'd be ok with it so long as you were just walking or conducting business on your lonesome that you can't in the daytime or in our presence. That is, so long as it isn't dangerous. Look… I don't want to make you stop doing whatever it is you feel like doing. You _are_ your own person, and I want you to feel like that as much as possible. But, I can't also just stand around with my hands in my pocket knowing that whatever it is that you're doing could be dangerous. You see the difficult position this is putting me in?" _Yeah… I see it._ Auguste wants me to feel independent and feel as though I'm my own person, but he also doesn't want me in any dangerous scenarios. He wants me to make my own choices, but he's scared of where that'll put me. He doesn't want to ask questions, but he also thinks he's obligated to do so. He wants me to have a private life, but he doesn't think I can do that.

"I… I see what you mean Auguste. Would it help any if I assured you that I wasn't putting myself in danger?" _Not that I could necessarily say that without it being a lie._ Both during that time with the wolves and last night when I nearly froze; I've put myself in plenty of danger. Auguste shakes his head at me and walks over to stand in front of me. Once he reaches me, he sighs and bends down to pick up the apple I dropped.

"I'm afraid I can't just take your word for it, Emiya. Not this time. It's not that I don't trust you, but I don't trust the world around you. No matter how sharp you are, you can still be surprised by this world. Both in a good way… and in a bad." Auguste looks down at the apple and pulls out his hand towel before wiping it softly and tossing it back to me. I grab it out of the air and look down at its shiny, red surface. _I know what he's saying is true, but I can't_ not _go out anymore._ "Alright, I think I know a resolution to this. Three days from now, three. You and I will spar in the dojo. If you beat me, I will accept that you can take plenty care of yourself and will allow you to continue your little treks in the woods throughout the night. All I ask is that in this three-day period, you will not leave the house out on your own again. This is also beneficial in that it's been awhile since we conducted your combat training even though it was supposed to be a daily regime. Regardless of whether you win or lose this bout in three days, we will begin regularly conducting your training from that point on again as well. Now, do we have an agreement?" I was wary of accepting it, knowing fully well that Auguste is far superior to me when it comes to fist fighting, or even just fighting in general, but I was also aware that this is probably my only option when it comes to being able to go out and see Kirei again.

"Alright Auguste… let's do it." He smiles and pats me on the shoulder and I feel relieved for whatever reason. Whether it be because the tension in the air was finally gone, or because Auguste was being so understanding and negotiable, I don't know.

"Very well, master Emiya. Now, go on into the dining room and finish your apple. Soon I will have a proper breakfast out and ready. And perhaps Miss Luvia will even be up by then and will join us at the table; she normally never sleeps in this late." I laugh nervously, knowing full well why she's sleeping right now. I turn and make my way to the double doors leading out to the dining room.

"Alright then, I'm looking forward to it. And thanks Auguste." I walk forward, expecting to hear a "you're welcome" or a "my pleasure" from him on my way, but instead I hear him call out to me again in a serious tone.

"I won't go easy on you, Emiya. Not at all. I'll be fighting at my full strength, as best I can. I expect you to do the same. No magic either; we will only be using our strength, skill, and wit. Prepare yourself." I felt myself freeze in my steps. I wondered whether I should look back at him or respond, but I know he isn't expecting either, so I instead keep walking towards the doors. _Just now… Auguste wasn't warning me, he wasn't giving me advice. That was a threat…_

After sitting at the table for a bit more than half an hour, deep in thought about what Auguste said and about the coming fight between us, I hear footsteps descending the stairs from the foyer. I turn and see Luvia gracefully descending the steps, dressed in one of her beautiful, elegant dresses. Had I not seen what she was doing earlier myself, I never would've thought such a prim and proper lady would do something so… vulgar. Upon recalling just what it was that she did, I snap my head back towards the table and focus my gaze on the intricate design of the table cloth. I could feel my face burning and my body tingling. _Calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down._ I don't turn to look as I hear her enter the kitchen or as I hear her footsteps approach me from behind. Once her footsteps reach behind me, instead of passing me up and continuing down the table to her spot, I hear her stop. "AyAgh!?" I yelp in surprise as I feel arms wrap around my chest and someone _else's_ chest press into my back.

"Mmm, good morning, Emiya. It's refreshing to wake up and actually see you home; I half-expected you to be gone again…" I look down nervously at her hands that are now wrapped around me and stutter, unsure of what to say.

"G-Good morning Luvia, how… how are y-you?" I feel her retract her arms from me and hear her step away from behind me and to my right. In the corner of my eye, I see her pull out the chair from next to me and sit down. _Why's she sitting there? That's not where she normally sits!_

"Are you ok, Emiya? You're acting pretty weird. Are you not feeling well? Feeling sick?" I shake my head and finally look at her to respond, so as to not make her anymore suspicious. I should've kept my gaze down at the table. The morning sunlight pouring through the foggy glass window was filtered beautifully and caught itself in every feature upon her in an almost perfect way. Her already golden hair seemed to almost glow, the color of her amber eyes was brought out and more prominent than ever, the jewels of her necklace reflected the light within them and sparkled and dazzled brilliantly. Everything behind her, everything around her, it's all blurry; all I see… is her.

"I… I… I'm fine…" I must not have been convincing at all, as the concern on her face seems to grow even more. Her gaze drifts from my face and to the side of my head and her eyes widen and she gasps in shock.

"Emiya! Your head, your hair! What happened?!" I wonder for a moment at what she's talking about, but then I remember the clump of hair I ripped out last night before I made my way to Kirei.

"Oh that, I uh… I reached up to scratch my head and while doing so I kinda-" I go dead silent and stop my sentence right there when I see Luvia raise her right hand and quickly guide it up to the side of my head. I feel her press her finger against the little, exposed patch of my scalp and gently rub it. _That hand- those fingers! They're the ones that were- that were!_ My face feels as if it's on fire and I can feel beneath the table, in my pants, something else starting to rise up. _Stop it, stop it, stop it, STOP! Body, please!_ My rushing, nervous thoughts are interrupted when I heart Luvia laugh.

"You're saying you did it yourself, Emiya? My… what a clumsy guy you are…" She continued giggling while rubbing the side of my head a while longer. All while doing so, she looked oddly content, happier than I've seen her in a while. _In fact… I haven't seen her so happy since we were in London together…_

Once Auguste finally emerged with food and began bringing out the dishes to the table, she removed her hand from the side of my head and reached out to him, who, after setting the platters of food down, handed her the newspaper. She then occupied herself with that while Auguste arranged our plates. She didn't get up, didn't go to her seat across the table where she normally does, and instead sat next to me, waiting for breakfast. I look at Auguste, who stares at the two of us in equal confusion while he fixes our food. And then, I look back at Luvia. To Luvia, to this girl… what meaning does she have to me? Or maybe the right question, the one I should be asking here, is what meaning do I have to her?


	17. The Wizard Marshall

_On this night, Emiya and the others sleep peacefully, each of them now having newfound resolve and confidence. New, confusing emotions may be blooming in the heart of our hero, but he still looks to the future, however bleak, with assurance and fearlessness. There is another however… who with each passing day, certainty becomes less a luxury and more something he finds unreachable._

 **Clock Tower, 1:26 a.m. (almost 21 hours after Emiya left Kirei to return home)**

I gaze out the window of my high, all-seeing quarters to the small café far below, across the street. The snowfall of this night is a piteous display compared to the nigh blizzard of last night. After staring a few minutes longer at the café, whose lights extinguished many an hour ago, I finally turn in my swivel chair to face my desk. The figure sitting across the room in a chair of their own perks up upon finally seeing I'd dragged my attention from the outside view.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" I offer them a laugh at this question, for I'd been staring hour after hour at the street from the blasted window; a fact they knew, for they sat in this room with me, in silence, the duration of my peering.

"I'm afraid… not. However, was I looking for anything in particular? No. I'm merely hoping is all." The person begins to scooch their chair closer to the desk but pauses and looks to me for assurance that they may in fact come closer. After gesturing for them to join me, they finish dragging their chair across the floor of my office and soon they sit across the desk from me.

"Hoping for the boy, you mean?" The person inquires. I stroke my beard and think for a moment, before nodding. "You plan to take his life?" They ask. Reminiscing on the young lad compels me to once again turn my attention to the window, but I stop myself, knowing full well he wouldn't be there.

"I had… decided to make an attempt on his life. However, I'm now not so sure. That day when he first arrived in this town, I knew the moment his foot graced the city streets with its first step. Despite concealing his magic signature, I could still feel. The volume… the magnitude of magic that child held. It has been many years… since the pangs of fear or shock resonated in these bones." The person sitting with me seems troubled by me stating this, despite the fact I've said it all the night before.

"You… then the choice should be obvious! You needn't even wait for him to return to these streets! We must group and find this threat so that we may destroy him!" I raise my hand to the spirited mage, urging for them to regain their semblance of calm.

"You must… remember the other component of this boy I discussed. The next time he would arrive in this city is late at night, after all men and women, mages and normal folk alike, had gone to sleep. A night no one would've dared left their home. A night a blizzard came, the likes of which hasn't been seen in this town in all recorded human history. This boy hobbled down the streets, composed more as a corpse than of man, all just so he could meet another on the whim they could tell him who he is." My companion fidgets in their chair, clearly not wanting to discuss this.

"So, what?" They ask me. I laugh, knowing them to be aware what I'm implying, just not wanting to acknowledge it.

"This is… something he achieved without the means of magic. I'd memorized his unique flow of mana quite thoroughly; had he done any spellcasting of any sort, I would've been able to tell. Imagine my shock when I see him in the street below, barely able to walk, making his way to that establishment. What reason did he do this? Did he not fear death? Why wouldn't he use his craft to simplify such a task? What reason to take on such a task at all? All these questions can be answered with one word: Determination."

"What does his willpower have to do with any of this?" My associate interjects with a question, now more out of curiosity than anger.

"Wouldn't you say… someone who can overcome something so deadly without magic deserves to use it, regardless of how potentially dangerous it could be?" They bitterly swallow their words, not being able to refute my statement. They tear their eyes from me and stare, long and hard, down at their lap.

"What of your visions? Of your fate you foresaw" Ah yes, the question that I myself now cannot refute. _What creature could possibly say they're ok with accepting their death when they know it's coming?_

After seeing this boy the first time, every time my eyelids close, it seems a vision regarding him plagues my mind. Despite all I've achieved, despite my wealth of knowledge, despite all the realities I've lived and seen, never once have I experienced such clear foresight. Why now? Why is it of this specific child? I close my eyes once more, for every time I do, the visions are shown even more clearly than the last and more and more is shown to me.

 _I see the child training and training his magic. I see his sadness, I see his joy. I see him removing the shackles from his father and placing them on himself. I see love, I see hate. I see a long and hard journey. I see him facing me. I see myself fall. I see him walk away from murdering me, never to second guess it again. Then…_ the vision extends further than before. The boy stands now a man in a large, desolate desert. Across the years he has become far more limited and has lost so, so much. He faces another, far stronger than him, in this barren land. Defeat is almost a certainty… however… what limits him will become his strength. " _Remember this:"_

 **G I G A**

I snap my eyes open and rise to my feet with a start. "Master Zelretch!" My comrade shouts, rising to their feet with me. They lavish my body with worried eyes. I raise my hand to them and calm myself.

"D-Don't mind me, I'm alright." _Never in these visions… has someone spoken to me directly…_

"I-I can see that talking of this is beginning to trouble you. Let us perish the conversation. Whatever you decide, whether we leave this boy to his own devices or stop him, I will follow you. Just know, I still think you should put him down before he, foolish as it sounds, does so to you." I laugh weakly at my muscle-headed friend's single-mindedness.

"Yes, yes, I know what you think. You give me too much credit though. This old man isn't what he used to be. You'd probably do better fighting him than me, Miss Designation Enforcer." They nod while blushing at my praise before bowing and leaving me to my solitude within my office. I sigh in the darkness, feeling guilt weigh heavy on my heart. _It almost seems unfair that I'm not being completely honest with her… In truth, even now, I'm not certain I'd be able to best him in a fight…_

"Emiya." I call out, into the darkness. "His creed…" I continue. "And: 'GIGA'…" _What do these constants in these cryptic visions mean? What significance do they hold?_ In light of all this, even if I could overpower him, is it my place to do so? It almost feels like, when I see visions from a future that stem past him slaying me, I have no right to try and stop him. Almost like… I'm just a very small part of a much bigger story.


	18. Love?

Hello readers. I'm sorry it's been a while since I've updated this story (and the other ones). I've been busy, but I should be able to start uploading more consistently from here on out. As an apology, I tried making this chapter extra long. Thank you all, have a nice day. 

* * *

_One. Two. Three._ As soon as I pull my right fist back, I force my left forward to occupy the now-empty space. I then repeat.

I feel an occasional sting from the beads of sweat dropping from my wet, matted bangs and into my eyes. Not just my hair, but my entire body is soaked in sweat. _Yeah… I'd imagine constant jabs at midair, for hours on end, would do that to a person._

Only earlier today was my bet with Auguste made. We've agreed to fight for my right to leave the house and go where I please, when I please.

Immediately after breakfast, I parted from the other two and found a nice clearing in the woods to practice for a while. _A sparring match with Auguste… With no holding back, no pulling punches._

I turn on my heel and shout while cleaving my palm down to collide with the base of the tree behind me. I breathe heavily and slowly pull my aching palm away from the sturdy trunk. "That was… dumb."

The feeling of twigs breaking and leaves crushing beneath me ensues as I plop down onto my rear atop the forest floor to catch my breath. _If I hope to have any chance of beating him, I have to spend every minute that I can training._ Auguste isn't someone I should take lightly, even if he's not a mage. _On top of him already being a seasoned fighter, I'm not allowed to use any magic; it'll just be us and our fists… even if I do prepare nonstop before we fight, I still don't know if I can come out on top._ I cut my break short and stand to my feet, ready to force myself to go a bit longer.

* * *

 _I'm not sure what I'd define as "a bit longer", but that definitely wasn't it._ The sky that had grown red and orange from the setting sun is now dark blue and rapidly dimming into blackness.

My feet step in reverse until I feel my back collide into the familiar tree. I slide down the rough bark to rest my weary body on the trunk, trying to catch my breath. _Congratulations Emiya. You spent an entire day swinging at nothing._ The thought sounded silly, but the workout was almost as strenuous as last night's journey when I nearly froze.

Upon remembering how I almost froze to death, I suddenly notice the nip in the air and realize that with the arrival of nighttime, the chill will set in full throttle. I get ready to steady my feet and head inside when a thought crosses my mind. _That thing Kirei told me about, the incantation for my father's reality marble… maybe I should try it once before I quit for tonight?_

After wobbling back into the middle of the clearing, I only then realize how exhausted I am. _Not only have I been training all day, but it's now freezing outside. On top of that, I still haven't slept in over 24 hours._ The lack of sleep, especially, was starting to tax my body. _Better make this quick._ I raise up my left hand and spread my fingers, palm facing the ground beneath. _Now…_

" _I am the bone of my sword."_

Immediately, my muscles tense up and my head starts aching. _This… this really hurts._

" _Steel is my… body!"_

My entire body wracks with vicious pangs. I can only describe it as feeling though everything is tightening compactly, like a spring coiling to its limit. I gasp for air and open my eyes after not being able to even finish the second line. I become woozy and suddenly feel as though I can hear my own heartbeat pounding. As I lose my balance and tumble forward, I notice the vision in my right eye flickering. Before I collapse onto the ground, I slam my left palm down and keep my upper torso raised.

"*huff* *cough*W-What was that?" The amount of pain I felt from trying to cast a spell instills an unknown sense of confusion and curiosity in me. _Maybe this is the training I must endure to be able to use this power?_ The feeling isn't unlike how it is when I attempt to Project; just like banging on a brick wall with a hammer. Only, not only does it feel like that, but it physically pains me to try. I gather myself up and quickly hobble to and inside the mansion to avoid the ensuing cold.

Oddly enough, I'm not greeted with the welcoming scent of dinner or even the ambience of Auguste preparing it in the kitchen. _It's pretty late. Normally the food would be ready by now._ After quickly poking my head into the doorway to the dining room, I confirm that dinner isn't out nor is there any indication of it being prepared. _I wonder what Auguste is doing…_

I don't worry about the absence of food for long because even if it had been ready, I still probably wouldn't have eaten. All while I was training earlier, I could barely keep my eyes open. I've reached the limit for how long I can go without sleep, food is the last thing on my mind.

I walk up the stairwell and continue down the familiar array of halls to my quarters. While walking absentmindedly, I notice a familiar door ahead and to my left. _Wait a minute… that door, isn't it-_ My thoughts are abruptly halted as the door in question swings open and slams into my face.

"Agh!" I fall back onto my rear and reach up with both hands to clutch my tender nose. I glance up while wincing and see my suspicion of the door be confirmed as Luvia steps out the doorway and into the hall.

"Ah, Emiya." She addresses me. "I thought I heard footsteps out here." Yes, the door belongs to the lab room we conduct my lessons in. I notice Luvia seems particularly happy, which strikes me as insulting considering she just nearly knocked my nose off my face. "I'm so proud of you, Emiya!" _Proud of me?_ I stare at her in confusion, not understanding what she's referring to.

"Proud of me… for what?" I nasally mutter out while rising back up to my feet. She laughs while retaining her ecstatic grin. Her beaming face forces me to blush and avert my eyes. The memory of what she did before is still ever-present in my mind. I've yet to decide how to interact with her after seeing something like that.

"Oh, don't play dumb! You came here for our lesson, right?" My heart sinks as I realize we'd yet to have it today. I was so caught up in training that it slipped my mind. _What should I tell her? Even if I were to start a lesson, I'd probably pass out on the floor immediately._ That's only half the reason; the other half being, once again, the incident I saw before and me not knowing how to handle being alone with her.

"Uh… about that Luvia," I answer "could we maybe do it later? I don't feel-" I'm cut off by Luvia snatching my hands up and swiftly dragging me into the room.

"Oh, nonsense!" She cheerily responds. "We still have so much to cover! Time is of the essence, we haven't much left." I open my mouth to interject before hearing her sling the door shut behind me and click the lock closed. I sigh in defeat and resign to my fate, feeling too tired to even argue with her.

"Well at the very least," I say while reaching under my shirt to retrieve the diamond pendant "can I just transfer mana to this and call it a night? I'm so tired that I doubt I'd retain any information if you taught me." She begins to pout at my suggestion, but her expression eventually melts into acceptance.

"Very well, Emiya. But just so you know, this is a one-time deal! And you'll make it up to me by having an extra-long study session next time, understood?" I nod graciously and wrap my left hand around the pendant.

Luvia nods at me before walking across the room and to her desk. I find a spot to sit on the floor in the middle of the room and sit cross-legged. Once situated, I begin the mana transfer.

As soon as the flow of magic is established, I feel my muscles give out and my body go limp. The last thing I see before my eyes slam shut and I fall flat on my back is Luvia sorting through some papers on her desk.

"Emiya? Emiya?!" I hear her voice call out in concern, followed promptly by rapid footsteps approaching me. I feel her kneel next to me and her hand gently grace the side of my face. "Are you alright?" She worriedly asks. I groggily nod my head. "Good grief, why'd you collapse then?" I scrunch my face up, wanting to be left alone so I could nap.

"Mmm… tired…" I mumble while turning on my side away from her.

"Tired? Wh- Hey! Don't turn away while I'm talking to you!" I feel her hands gently grab my head and lift it briefly in the air before placing it on what feels like a soft cushion. "You shouldn't sleep on the floor. If you're going to sleep, at least let me help you to your bed."

I frown in annoyance as she continues to bicker at me. My consciousness was already being lulled back to the land of dreams, so I didn't understand she was excusing me from the lesson to go sleep in my bed. All I understood was that she was discontent about something.

"No loo… look." I sluggishly answer her while slightly raising my hand that clutched the diamond in the air. "I'm gonna. Gonna put some magic in this so… quit… fussing…" I grip the gem even tighter before my hand falls back to the floor and I let myself snap into deep sleep.

* * *

My eyes slowly open as I get stirred from my slumber. _Mm… where am I?_ I glance around at my dark surroundings and see the shelves and tables lined with softly glowing vials and shimmering gemstones. I realize I'm in the lab and that I must've fallen asleep on the floor. I turn my gaze to the direction of the window and see no indication of sunlight. _Still nighttime…_

I close my eyes once more and nuzzle into my pillow so that I could return to my peaceful sleep. I note that the cushion is warm and smells pleasant. I reach up with my right hand and push it underneath the pillow to hold it close while I slept. I clutch the material in my hand and give it a light squeeze, surprised at how comfortable it is.

"Soft…" I murmur while dozing off. As I slip into unconsciousness again, I briefly recall an image. It's the image that shook me awake only moments ago. _I suppose I was having a dream with that scene in it…_ A room in a tower. Inside sat an old, bearded man.

* * *

"E-Emiya…" A familiar voice calls out to me. "Emiya." Again. It's the voice of a girl, the voice of- "Emiya! Wake up!" I open my eyes after she shouts at me and shakes me lightly by my shoulder.

"Luvia? W-what's wrong?" I ask worriedly while staring up to meet her gaze. Her face is above me, only a short distance from my own, and her cheeks are tinted a soft pink.

"Would you mind maybe… letting go?" I offer a confused look to her question. After sitting up from the floor, I draw my attention to my right hand and realize what she wants me to let go of. My right hand rests tucked beneath the object I'd assumed to be my pillow all of last night. That is, beneath Luvia's thighs. Specifically, her butt.

"Agh! I-I'm sorry!" I quickly yank my hand out and jump up to my feet, anticipating a beatdown to head my way. Instead of angrily pummeling me, Luvia simply sighs and also rises up to her feet. Her bunched-up dress clumsily unravels around her long, slender legs as she stands up. The morning light pouring through the window haloes her figure in a way that makes her seem to glow. Despite her slight bed head and wrinkled dress, she struck me as gorgeous.

"No need to apologize, Emiya." She answers. "I suppose it's my fault for letting you rest your head on my lap." Relief washes over me upon seeing she doesn't seem to be upset. As she straightens out her wrinkled dress, I return my gaze to my right hand and squeeze the air twice. _It was so soft…_

"Luvia," I begin, facing her again "why exactly was I sleeping on your lap?" The slight blush spreads across her face once more after hearing my question.

"W-Well, you refused to wake up after passing out on the floor… I was just going to sit with you until you woke up, but I suppose I eventually dozed off as well."

"I see…" _That doesn't really explain why she let me use her lap as a pillow, but I'll just leave it at that._ I feel pangs of guilt after thinking how uncomfortable it must've been for her to sleep sitting on the floor while leaning against the cabinet with me on her lap.

"Well then," Luvia states while stepping towards me "shall we go get some breakfast?" The sudden proposal, paired with the heart-skipping smile she's beaming at me, makes the guilt evaporate from my mind and a slight heat grace my cheeks. I nod sheepishly, and she responds by wrapping her hand around my own and leading me out of the lab that served as our bedroom last night.

I expected to be greeted with a table set with food and Auguste dutifully standing next to it, ready to pull out Luvia's chair for her to sit in. Instead, the same empty table as last night is what greets Luvia and I when we enter. The kitchen also remains as soundless and void of the scent of cooking food as it did last night. Luvia, seemingly unphased by this, walks along the table and to the kitchen door.

"Emiya," she calls back to me "you're ok with cereal, yeah?" I nod at her absentmindedly, wondering where Auguste is. After receiving my answer, Luvia ducks into the kitchen. I take my usual seat at the table and wait as Luvia pilfers around in the adjacent room.

The waiting was short-lived, as Luvia returns into the dining room only a few minutes after leaving. Her left hand holds two stacked bowls and a pair of spoons, while her right arm hugs the gallon of milk and box of cereal.

She once again sits next to me instead of her usual spot before giving me one of the bowls and a spoon. She pours the golden, sugar-coated flakes and a splash of milk into her bowl before handing the milk and cereal over to me. Still encased in a haze of confusion, I begin pouring my own bowl. _Luvia sure seems out of character from the usual prim-and-proper persona…_

"MM! Splendid!" She suddenly exclaims loudly, almost making me drop the milk jug.

"W-What's splendid?"

"Oh, this breakfast! I simply adore these sugary cereals, don't you?" I smile weakly and empathetically nod. _Actually, I don't care too much for them at all…_

"But Auguste hardly ever lets me eat them." She continues. "He's always talking about how unladylike or unhealthy it is for me to eat junk food." Despite pouting and complaining about Auguste, Luvia continues to insert spoonfuls of the cereal into her mouth.

"Auguste just cares about your wellbeing, as I'm sure you know." She absentmindedly agrees with me while continuing to savor her cereal. _Wait, speaking of Auguste…_ "Where is he anyway, Luvia? I saw he didn't prepare dinner last night and he's once again absent this morning."

"Oh yes, I forgot to tell you. Auguste informed me yesterday that he wanted to take some time off. He said he needed to 'hone his edge' over the next few days and that we would have to prepare our own food and take care of any business on our own or postpone it until he's finished." Luvia spoons another bite of cereal into her mouth after answering, while I drop mine into my bowl in sync.

"Oh no…" I mutter.

"I know, right? Who does he think he is up and leaving us like that? Of course, I couldn't refuse him because he certainly deserved a few days off, but still…" Luvia's pouty ramblings echoed as an afterthought as I cursed myself for my idiocy. _I was a fool to think he wouldn't take advantage of this time to train as well. I already don't know if I can beat him, but him being in peak form certainly won't increase my chances._

"Luvia, where is he right now?" I hastily question her. She taps her spoon against the rim of her ceramic bowl while pondering a moment.

"He went to practice in our little oriental gym… what did he call it again? Ah yes, the 'dojo'. So, probably either still there or up in his bedroom." _He's even using the dojo for his training. He really is serious…_

I pull my milk-soaked spoon from my bowl and begin to dry it off with my napkin while wondering what to do. _As far as I know, he could've spent all of yesterday and last night training. He could even be training this very moment. I can't afford to waste any time- I'm wasting time right now!_

I quickly shovel the last of my cereal into my mouth and down the remaining milk. "Alright, Wuvia." I mumble from my cereal-stuffed mouth. "I'm gwonna- *swallow* I'm gonna go check on him, if that's ok." I stand from my seat. _That's a lie. I just need to go someplace and make a gameplan. After that, I need to train like crazy._ I turn to leave the table when I feel a firm grip take hold of the back of my shirt.

"I don't think so, Emiya." _Dammit._ "If you think you're already going to run away from the promise you made, you've got another thing coming." _Promise?_ I glance at her puffy, pouty face in confusion, not sure what promise she's referring to. "Oh, don't play dumb. You told me last night that we were going to have an extra-long study session today. To make up for that pitiful excuse of one last night." _UGGHHHH! Again with the lessons?_

"Really? Like, right now? We only just had breakfast, and I- I wanted to go ask Auguste something." She shakes her head rapidly and tugs on my shirt, urging me to retake my seat.

"Oh no, no, no you don't. He specifically told me not to bother him over these few days, and that applies to you too! And since you can't see him, you have no choice but to spend time with me!" I stammer while my mind races to find an excuse.

"B-But I-" Luvia's pout turns into a full-blown frown as she glares at me.

"Butts-" she begins "are for sitting!" With that, she tugs me down and back onto my chair. I groan and let my head fall down and onto the tabletop. She continues to stare me down, apparently waiting to see if I had any other complaints. _I can't tell her the real reason I want to leave. That I need to practice before Auguste and I beat the hell out of each other. She doesn't even know that Auguste has been giving me these combat lessons… I guess this is checkmate._

"Fine…" I eventually mumble "You win." I straighten up and grab the box of cereal, deciding I might as well eat some more if I'm going to be stuck here. Luvia dons a pleased smile and releases her hold of my shirt. She continues to cheerily eat her cereal while humming a tune.

I stare down at my bowl of cereal, wondering what the hell I'm going to do. _From the look of things, I won't be able to escape her throughout today. I suppose if I practice all of tonight and tomorrow, I'll be able to somewhat makeup for this lost time._ I sigh and take a spoonful of the dry cornflakes into my mouth, not even realizing I'd forgot to add any milk.

* * *

I frown at the patch of greenery at my feet, not even knowing where to begin. Currently, I find myself with Luvia in the middle of the forest. After breakfast, we changed into some work clothes and she brought me out into this clearing in the woods south of the mansion.

"Uh, Luvia?" She sits at the opposite side of the clearing, rummaging through her own patch of the green sprouts. I'm once again taken aback when I see her in her jean overalls instead of her usual poofy dress. She pulls her attention from the foliage to look at me inquisitively. "Why exactly are we hunting for four-leaf clovers?" I question.

"I thought I already told you?" She responds, slightly agitated. "One of the residents in London told me that this breed of clover flourishes after a heavy snowfall. The prime time to hunt for a four-leaf clover is a day or so after the snow." A chill runs up my spine after she mentions that damn blizzard. _Ugh, I still see small patches of snow here and there… Wait…_

"Luvia," I answer "that explains why now would be a good time to look for clovers, but that still doesn't explain _why_ we are-"

"Aha! Found one!" She suddenly shouts out while jumping to her feet and hoisting the little, green clover into the air triumphantly. _You cut me off…_ She rushes to me and proudly presents the little plant to me. "Look here, Emiya!" I stare at the clover, unimpressed. _I thought we were going to have a magic lesson…_

"Yeah it sure is… four-leafed alright." Luvia frowns at me, not happy with my lack of enthusiasm.

"How are you not amazed by this? You know how rare these are, right?" I stare at the plant in confusion, not sure what I'm missing.

"It's just a plant… right?"

"No! Not right! These things bring good luck, you know?"

"Really?" I look closer at the clover. _It just looks like the rest of them. Besides having an extra leaf._ Today's the first time I've ever even heard of these clover things. _I don't see how having a different number of leaves makes it special._

"Hey! Stop that!" Luvia promptly flicks my nose while chastising me.

"S-Stop what?" I ask while blocking my nose from any further assault.

"Stop thinking so hard about it! I said the clover is rare and lucky because it has four leaves. That's it, end of story." _I don't understand why she's getting so upset…_

"But… why?" Luvia sighs at my further inquiry. She steps beside me and sits down. After I stare for a moment, wondering what she's doing, she glares up at me and slaps the ground next to her, gesturing for me to sit. I comply and quickly plop down before she yells at me again.

"Look, Emiya…" She starts while scooching closer to me and raising the green-petaled flower in front of us. "what do you see?"

"A clover with four leaves." I state simply.

"Alright, well, I see a symbol." I shoot her a confused glance.

"A symbol?"

"Mhm, a symbol. This extra petal transforms a normal plant into a lucky charm." I scratch my head at her reasoning. _That still doesn't explain how it's lucky. Is it magical?_ I feel a soft thump on my forehead as Luvia once again flicks me. "What did I just say? Don't think so hard!"

"I-I just want to know what makes it special, jeez!" I bark at her while scooching away in the hopes to avoid more flicks. Her angry/pouty expression softens and likens to a sad frown.

"You don't always need to try and find an explanation to something, Emiya…" Her comment, paired with her disgruntled expression, captivates my attention. "The more truths you uncover about the world, the less magical it becomes…" _What?!_

"Huh?! Are you saying that the more I learn, the less magic I can use?!" Luvia glares at me after hearing my question.

"No, the world doesn't literally lose magic, you dummy! I'm trying to say that… as you figure out how the world really works, life becomes less wondrous…" After she elaborates, I realize what she's trying to say. _The child-like wonder… it eventually goes away._ I turn my attention back to the "lucky charm" in her hand.

"I think I understand what you mean… So, what makes the clover with four leaves lucky, then?" Luvia stands up and tucks the clover in her pocket before dusting off her rear.

"Maybe it'd be easier to understand if you found one of your own." She answers. I look at her inquisitively while she stares at me expectantly. "Well? Get to it!"

"Ehhhh? Isn't one enough? Why do I have to find one too?" Luvia stomps her foot while pouting.

"There wouldn't be a point in coming out here and collecting them if you don't understand the worth of them! Now quit yapping and start looking! We aren't leaving this spot until you find one!" I open my mouth to give a rebuttal but stop myself. _Once she gets stubborn like this, there's no changing her mind._ It's already past noon and I don't want to be stuck out here all day. _I'll just hurry and find one so we can get out of here…_

* * *

I groan while rising up from my aching knees. Specks of dirt and stray, normal three-leaf clovers fall from my clothes as I stand. I hold my right hand in the air, within which is a clover with four leaves.

"I… found one." I call out to Luvia across the patch of plucked clovers and barren soil. She pulls her attention away from the magazine she had begun reading a few hours ago and looks at the small sprout in my hand.

"Ah, wonderful. It's about time. Any longer and we'd be out of daylight." I look up to the sky after hearing her comment and realize that it had dimmed and turned orange from the setting sun. _So much for not being stuck here all day…_ Luvia walks in front of me and smiles at me with sparkling eyes. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Can't you see now how it's lucky?" I nod immediately at her question, afraid that she'd make me look for another one if I said otherwise.

"Yes, of course! So, so lucky! I'll treasure this charm forever!" I exclaim while waving it around in the air. Luvia seems to buy my answer and smiles even wider, while donning a prideful expression.

"I knew you'd come around, Emiya! You can see how cool it is now, right? Right?" After making her comment, Luvia grabs me by my left hand and begins to walk away from the clearing. "Now let's hurry inside, wash off, and get into some clean clothes. I have the perfect idea of what to do with our new good luck charms."

I let myself be led by Luvia through the trees. _She sure seems to like dragging me around by my hand lately._ My attention gets turned back to the clover in my free hand. _I sure am relieved to find this thing after all of that searching._ Considering how long it took me to find it, I find myself seeing a strong value in it. After all of that searching, I found one and was finally able to stop looking. _In that sense, I suppose it really is lucky. Wait… is this supposed to be the lesson?_

Once inside, we have a quick, simple dinner consisting of finger sandwiches and cola. After which, I take my bath first, followed shortly behind by Luvia. After changing into my pajamas, I make my way from my room to the lab, as per Luvia's instructions. _I don't know what she wants, but I can't stay with her long. I've been doing her bidding all day, I need some time to myself so I can begin preparing._

Once I'm at the door to the lab, I hesitate to reach for the handle. _Let's just get it over with._ After opening the door, I'm greeted by Luvia in the middle of the lab, on the floor, amongst pillows and bunched up blankets. The overalls she was previously wearing are now replaced by one of her frilly nightgowns.

"Oh! Emiya, you're finally here." I hum in response while walking to the center of the room. I kneel on the floor near Luvia while inspecting the various sheets and cushions around us. "You brought the clover, right?" She asks while standing up and walking to the closest countertop.

"Mhm." I reach into my shirt pocket and pluck it out. "Right here. Just like you asked." Luvia cheerily hums before snatching a book from the counter and returning to her spot on the floor. I knowingly stare at the book in her hand, anticipating a magic lesson to start. "A tome? I don't think I've seen that one before. What's the lesson about?" I flinch when, instead of answering me, Luvia taps the book against my forehead in a manner similar to how she has been flicking and poking me throughout the day.

"It's not a tome, silly. It's a storybook. _Sleeping Beauty_." I grab the book from her hand and pull it away to prevent her from smacking me with it again. She childishly sticks her tongue out at me. I chuckle before turning the book over to look at the front of it. Sure enough, the words "Sleeping Beauty" are labeled on the top of the cover. Beneath the bold letters is some smaller text reading "And Other Classic Tales". _Now that I look closely, it is kinda small to be a spell tome. It's more like a thick pamphlet._

"Sleeping Beauty? A storybook? What's that?" She looks at me disappointedly.

"Emiya, it's a book that tells a story…" I frown at her. _Yeah, I figured that much._ I hand the book back to her before falling backwards onto a bundle of the covers.

"So, why did you tell me to come here, Luvia? You have a lesson planned?" She shakes her head.

"Nothing in particular, no. I wanted to do something with our clovers, and we can study up on anything you're confused about." I raise my clover up and inspect it upon her mentioning.

"What are we doing with the clovers?" She leans over to me and plucks the clover from my hand before gesturing to the storybook again.

"That's what the book is for. Here, watch." As instructed, I watch Luvia as she opens the book to the middle pages. Once there, she carefully places the clovers next to each other before smoothing them out to make sure they're completely flat. Afterwards, she shuts the book and presses the front and back cover together firmly. "There we go!" I raise my gaze from the book to look at her in confusion.

"What's the point of that?"

"It's called flower pressing, Emiya. This way, we can preserve our good luck charms forever." I feign amazement and mumble a drawn out "wow". _They're not flowers though… I also don't get how it preserves them, but I suppose it's cool._

"Oh yeah, Luvia" I begin "I've been meaning to ask you since I came in here. What are these pillows and blankets for?" She frowns at my question and gives me an expression that tells me it should be obvious.

"You should know, sleepyhead. They're for when you pass out on me again. I'd rather not have to sleep sitting up all night again." I bow my head in embarrassment at her comment.

"Th-That was a one-time thing! Besides… you didn't have to let me use your thighs as a pillow." She begins stuttering when she hears what I said.

"Y-You say that, but you were sure latched on tight when I woke up this morning!" I open my mouth to refute her but decide to just remain silent. _At least_ I _didn't "relieve" myself with_ your _clothes._ After recalling the vivid scene, I shake my head and turn my attention back to the blankets and cushions. _Still though… this is a lot for just one person to sleep with._

"You think I need this many pillows and blankets?" I ask Luvia. "I don't get cold _that_ easily." I thought changing the subject would lessen our embarrassment and help dissipate the awkward atmosphere, but Luvia's blush instead deepens at my question.

"Well… some are for me, too."

"What? You're sleeping in here too?" I nervously ask. She nods. "Hey- isn't that like, a bad idea?" She fidgets at my question.

"How so? We've technically already slept together once before…" I almost choked on my spit after hearing her say that while looking all flustered and nervous. _D-Don't say it like that, dammit!_ "It's just like a sleepover." She continues. "I used to have them all the time with my friends when I was younger." I hesitantly nod after she further explains.

"Yeah, I don't suppose it'll be a problem." She begins to look less sheepish once I finally agree to the idea. The awkwardness, however, remained. _Jeez, why do I feel so weird about this whole situation?_

Luvia and I remain quiet for a while after the awkward exchange. _I have no clue what to do now. At this point, I think I would have preferred a boring old magic lesson…_ Luvia is the one to finally break the prolonged silence.

"Um… Like I said, if you had anything you were unclear about, now would be a good time to discuss it. A-About magic, I mean!" I nervously laugh at her suggestion. _I don't think I'll be able to come up with any legitimate questions under the current circumstances…_ My eyes wander the room in search of something to steer the conversation with. The book Luvia pressed our clovers in, resting on the floor next to her, catches my eye. _Ah, that's perfect!_

"Why don't we read that together?" I ask while pointing to the book. She looks at the book before growing even more flush in the face.

"This book? A-Are you sure?" I nod. _Sure, it's a random suggestion, but anything to help distract us sounds like a good idea._ "You know it's a romantic fairy tale, right?" I tilt my head in confusion.

"I'm not sure what 'romantic' means, but Auguste has told me a few good fairy tales before." Luvia sighs at my response.

"Whatever… fine. If you want to, then I suppose it's ok." With that, she grabs the book and walks over to sit next to me against the mound of pillows and blankets. She opens up the book to one of the first few pages. On top of the page, just as on the cover of the book, it reads: _Sleeping Beauty_. Luvia clears her throat in preparation to begin reading. "Once upon a time there was a Queen who had a beautiful baby daughter…"

"A-And then he bent down… and gave her a k-kiss…" As we neared the last few lines of the short story, Luvia became more and more hesitant and eventually stopped reading after that last sentence. _I can see why the story is making her embarrassed. At least, if it is anything similar to the reason it's making me embarrassed._ The mentioning of a kiss in the story makes images of the dream of Shirou and Rin making love run through my head. _What was the "kiss" again exactly? Hm… oh yeah, it was when they locked mouths together… I think._

Recalling that image makes me look to Luvia's face and focus on her lips. For the first time today, I realize she isn't wearing makeup. _She wasn't wearing it when we were outside in the clover patch either._ Without the makeup, I could see how soft and pink her natural lips appeared. _She looks great without it…_ Luvia turns to look at me, noticing my focused stare.

"W-What? Is something wrong?" I quickly turn my gaze back to the book and look at where we left off.

"You still haven't finished the story. There's a bit left." Despite telling her there was more left, she didn't continue reading. I skim through the remaining lines and assume it's because nothing else really happens besides the classic happily ever after. "Hey, Luvia?" After a brief pause, Luvia hums in response while tracing her finger in a circle repeatedly atop the page. "What's a kiss?" Her finger stops tracing.

"H-Huh?!" She responds to my question with a shocked one of her own. _I don't know why I'm asking her, I already know what it is. Maybe it's because as far as she knows, I don't. Asking her might make me seem innocent to her. Or maybe… I just want to hear her explain it to me._

I turn my eyes from the book and back to her to find her nervously twirling her hair around her finger. Her eyes are looking away from me and her expression indicates she's trying to think up an explanation to give me.

"Well it's… when two people like each other, one way they express that affection is by…" Luvia turns to face me. Before saying anything else, her head slowly moves toward me. So slowly, that I don't even notice at first. Without even realizing, my own head begins to drift towards her at the same pace. As though they're gravitating towards each other, our faces draw nearer, closing the gap between where each of us sat.

"One way they show that affection is by touching lips…" She continues. "It's called a…" Only a slight distance remains between us. I can feel the heat from her face against my own. Whether it actually be her own body heat, or my face warming up from the blush I surely have, I don't know. Luvia's eyes close and her lips pucker ever so slightly. "…kiss." She mumbles out.

I quickly yank my head away. Away from the mysterious force that's luring me into her lips, before I fall prey to its trap. As soon as I'm facing the opposite direction, I force out a laugh between my heavy breaths. "I-I see! So that's what it is!" I loudly declare, trying to regain my composure. "Thank you for telling me, I was oh-so curious as to what it was!"

I glance back to Luvia after hearing her respond with a quiet "mmph". Her face looks disappointed and regretful. _I'm sure it's because she realized she almost kissed me. ME. I'm sure that, just like between my mother and father, a kiss is something you save for the one you love. I can't believe I just tried to trick her into giving me one by feigning ignorance…_

After finding a spot on the counter to place the book, Luvia puts a paperweight on top of it, saying it's necessary for the clovers to press properly. Luvia and I take a minute to spread out the thick comforters onto the floor as makeshift pallets, before lining the pillows on the edge of it and laying out the blankets on top.

Still feeling embarrassed as hell, I crawl underneath the blankets and tuck myself in. I watch Luvia make her way to the door to flip the light switch off. After she flicks it off, and the room becomes shrouded in darkness, I listen as her footsteps approach the bed. _I wish my heartbeat would stop beating so hard. I can't believe I'm letting myself get nervous about this. We're just two friends, a student and his mentor, sharing a bed. Nothing more, nothing less._

I expect Luvia to crawl under the blankets at the opposite, far edge of the spread, same as me. Instead, she crawls underneath and lies down right in the middle. _Ok… a bit closer than I thought, but this is still ok._

After lying down, Luvia begins fidgeting and moving beneath the covers. _What is she doing?_ After a little while longer of the moving, I feel something soft press against my back. I realize that she had been inching closer to me this whole time. Her soft body is barely pressing up against my own, but it's still enough to let me know her presence is there.

"I hope you don't mind." Luvia suddenly whispers into my ear, making my hair stand on end. "But the central heating doesn't reach the lab room. It's a bit chillier than I expected, so let me borrow some of your body heat, 'kay?" Her hot breath wafting over my ear distracted me to the point I barely even heard what she was whispering to me.

"O-Okay…" I quietly murmur out while shyly fidgeting where I lie.

It doesn't take long for Luvia's breathing to transition into a soft snore. _She's finally asleep? Thank goodness._ I, however, have no idea how I'll manage to get any sleep tonight. Sleeping next to this girl is a lot more nerve-wracking than I anticipated, not that she's making it easier by being so close. At some point, her right arm wrapped around me and her body pressed a bit harder into my own. _This sucks…_

Eventually, the nervousness and the embarrassment all but fades away. Whether it be because I progressively grew more tired or because I realized how comforting it feels to lie next to Luvia, I'm not sure. The steady heartbeat beneath her chest pressed against my back, paired with the embrace of her arm wrapped around me, makes me feel oddly secure. My eyes which I'd been struggling to close can barely stay open. I feel my mind go numb as I drift asleep. One last thought crosses my mind before I lose consciousness. _I was supposed to train tonight…_

* * *

As I open my heavy eyelids, I let out a long, content yawn. _Mm… That was the best sleep I've had in weeks._ Once my eyes are fully open, I see something blonde and blurry in front of me. _Mm?_ I reach up with my left hand and rub the sleepiness out of my eyes. After take-two of opening my eyes, I realize the blurry, blonde blob is Luvia.

"Luvia?!" I yelp, not realizing what's going on. After a moment, I recall that we slept together last night. Recalling how I ended up in this situation eases my embarrassment, but not completely. That's because, unlike how I fell asleep, I find myself in a much more intimate position with her.

My right arm is tucked underneath her, and my left leg is between both of hers. Her right leg, the one on top of my left, is wrapped around my waist. Both of her arms are locked around my chest in a hug. I take a quick glance beneath the blanket covering us and see that her gown has rode and bunched up above her waist, exposing her bare legs and panty-clad bottom. _This is a pretty risqué embrace…_

"L-Luvia, wake up. It's morning." _Wait, is it morning?_ I knew it was at least daytime, based on the illumination from the window, but what time it is, is up in the air. After briefly surveying the walls, I eventually find the wall clock. _Let's see, it is…_

"12:30?!" _It's already past noon?_ "Luvia, seriously, it's time to wake up." I reach up with my left hand and gently shake her by the shoulder. "Come on, wakey-wakey."

"Mm… just a few more minutes…" With that, her grip tightens, and she pulls herself deeper into the embrace. Her breasts smash into my own chest and her face burrows into the crook of my neck.

"Hii-Hiiieeee!" I cry out while chills run up my spine from having her breath fan out across the nape of my neck. "Luvia, I'm ticklish there!" As if she heard what I said, Luvia promptly flicks her tongue across the surface of my neck. "HYA!" I shout and contort my body before slithering out of her hold like a snake. Once out of her death lock, I guard my vulnerable neck with my hands and scooch away from the bed. After reaching a safe distance, I realize I hear muffled laughter coming from Luvia. She sits up from the blanket with one hand covering her mouth in a futile attempt to hide her laughter.

"Jeez, you weren't lying. You really are ticklish." I glare at her apparent giddiness upon finding my weakness. Without even responding, I jump to my feet and stomp to the door. "Wait, where are you going?" I scowl at her in an attempt to hide my embarrassment.

"To go find something to eat! Maybe you'll join me once you're done pretending to sleep!" I ignore her whining about how I'm being a sourpuss as I make my exit.

After entering the kitchen, I decide I might as well just have cereal again. However, in an attempt to make my diet slightly more balanced, I grab an orange as well. I bring the components of my late breakfast into the dining room and take my seat.

While peeling my orange, I hear the familiar footsteps of Luvia descending the stairwell in the foyer. Before long, she joins me in the dining room.

"Good morning." She mumbles after letting out a yawn.

"Morning." I respond. "I brought a bowl and spoon for you too. If you're ok with cereal, that is." She smiles appreciatively before happily skipping around the table and to the seat next to me. _I suppose I should start regarding it as her_ normal _seat._ I take note that she's still wearing her nightgown. _Normally, she'd change before going anywhere outside of her bedroom._ I can't say much though, considering I'm still in my pjs too.

After she pours her own bowl, we both begin to enjoy our cereal; with Luvia savoring it much more than myself. I offer her half of the orange and she graciously accepts.

While eating, it dawns on me how casual and natural this feels; Luvia and I spending this time together, that is. _To think, I was worried about how I'd interact with her. This time I've spent with her may have been awkward, but it was still really nice._ I feel a lot closer to her than before.

"Emiya?" Luvia addressing me halts my train of thought.

"Yeah? What's up?"

"I was thinking, after we're done eating, would you be up for a bit of an exercise? There's something I've been meaning to test with you lately but haven't had the chance to." I offer a half-hearted smile at her comment. _Technically, you had a chance to test it all of yesterday and last night, but you were too preoccupied with clovers and slumber parties._

"I suppose so, if it's that important." She grins upon hearing my acceptance and shovels another bite of cereal into her mouth while happily humming. I've finished eating at this point, but Luvia's already poured herself another bowl. _So, really, we're just waiting for_ you _to finish eating…_

While waiting, I absentmindedly scratch my chest and my finger brushes against the pendant beneath my shirt. _Oh, dang it!_

"Luvia, we were so preoccupied yesterday that I completely forgot to fill the gem with any mana." She smiles upon hearing the news.

"No worries!" She exclaims. "As it turns out, considering the experiment I have in mind, you having not filled the gem is perfect!" I look at her in confusion, not sure why that would be beneficial to whatever experiment she has in mind. "For this particular test," she continues "I want your mana reserves to be completely full!" After hearing her last sentence, I feel anxiety well up inside me towards whatever experiment she's about to make me undergo.

* * *

I wait patiently by the flower garden while Luvia continues fiddling with whatever she's setting up. She brought out some old barstools, which she lined up next to one another in front of the tree line. Now she's putting what looks like empty soda cans on top of them.

Eventually, she reaches the final stool and puts the last can on top of it.

"Annnnd, finished!" She states excitedly.

"Alright," I respond "I'll bite. What's the deal with the stools and cans?" She quickly steps away from the line of stools and gestures to them with her hand.

"The 'deal' is that they're targets. Go on and see if you can hit one." I nod. _I don't see what the point in that is, but-_

"Ok." I pull out my knife from my pajama's pocket and flick it open. With a quick jab of my hand, the knife flies swiftly through the air. It impales the middle can and knocks it off and onto the ground, a few feet back from the stool. "Was that good?"

"No! No, you dummy! I meant with your magic! With your fire!" She angrily stomps her foot on the ground, apparently peeved that I used the knife on one of her precious targets. I sigh.

"You should've said so, then." My comment doesn't help to lessen her pouty fit, as I ignite my hand with the warm streaks of fire.

"It should be obvious!" She continues. "Why should I have to clarify I want you to use magic when I brought you out here _for_ a magic lesson? More importantly, how can you throw a knife so well? Are you a ninja or someth…" While Luvia continues chewing me out, I pull my hand back and… _Throw!_

The hand coated in fire slings forward and… nothing happens. I pull the still-lit hand back and stare down at it in confusion. _Why didn't it fling off?_ I extinguish the flame and flex my hand before reigniting it. _And…_ I pull my hand back. _Throw!_ My arm swings forward in an arc, harder than before. The flame merely bends and drifts with the wind before settling after my arm stops moving.

"Uh…" I mumble out, confused as can be. I look to Luvia, hoping she can explain why I can't throw the fire.

"I see." She begins. "This is what I was afraid of. Despite being able to conjure the flame, you can't manifest it into actual spells. I thought maybe somehow you didn't need an incantation, same as with your Reinforcement, but I suppose your fire magecraft is a different story."

"An incantation?" I question. _Like my father's "reality marble"?_ Without paying any mind to my question, Luvia continues rambling about it.

"I can't believe I didn't think to test this until now…" She continues. "I suppose it makes sense, a magecraft based in an element isn't as rudimentary as Reinforcement."

"Uh, Luvia?" I call out to her, but my words don't reach her.

"Well, this does set us back a bit… And I was so excited to see he has an affinity for fire magecraft. Oh well, we'll have to start with some basic spells and work our way up-"

"Luuuuuuvia?" I call out again in a louder voice while dragging out the "u" in her name for added effect.

"What, Emiya? I'm trying to decide where we go from here."

"If this is all about the whole incantation thing, it's no big deal, right? I just have to say a command to make the fire do what I want, right?"

"I- well, yes basically. However, it's a bit more complex than that." _I see. It's the same thing as that "Trace on" nonsense. Alright then._ I lift my left hand towards the left-most target. I light the hand ablaze once more.

" _Burst_!" I shout. The flames expand around my hand before convulsing and retracting to my palm, where they constrict on themselves. The reddish-orange orb jettisons from my hand. Not even a moment later, and it pelts into the base of the can. Upon impact, the orb violently explodes.

I jump a bit in surprise from the force of the shot. The explosion wasn't huge or anything, but it had a lot of punch behind it. I turn to Luvia to see her reaction. I'm greeted by a yelping Luvia, whose nightgown has been blown up and over her head from the gust of the small detonation, revealing her panty-covered body beneath.

"Ah! Luvia, your dress!" I shout in embarrassment while slapping my hands over my eyes. After her yelping subsides, I wait a little longer before finally removing my hands and looking. Luvia now stood in front of me with a fierce glare and an even fiercer blush.

"You…" She starts. "You saw, didn't you?" I slowly pull my gaze away from her while vainly trying to whistle in innocence. "W-Whatever!" She continues. "It's beside the point. Back to the matter at hand, mind telling me what that was just now?" I glance down at my hand and then back to her.

"It was a fireball. I think?" She sighs and rubs her temple at my answer.

"You think? I swear, it's just one big surprise after another with you. It's not easy to invoke a spell with a shortened phrase, much less a random word." I frown at her, still not understanding why it's so amazing.

"It was nothing, really. And it wasn't a random word, I just said what came to mind when I thought of throwing a ball of fire." Her eyebrow twitches in annoyance at me. Without warning, she reaches up and pinches my cheeks before stretching them.

"That _is_ just a random word, then! Apologize to all the non-talented mages who have to work their asses off!"

"Ow, ow, ow! I'm sowwy untawented mages!" I yelp out while tapping her arm in defeat. She sighs and releases her hold on my face. While I rub my sore cheek, she walks to stand next to me before pointing to another target. I follow where she's pointing and see one of two stools on the far right. _Yeesh. The one I hit with the bolt, and the one next to it, were blown to pieces. The others were either knocked over or had their cans fly off._ The only two that remain intact are the ones at the opposite end.

"Well, do it again, Emiya. We need to make sure it wasn't a fluke." I nod and reassume the position. After shouting "burst" out, the same thing happens again. The compressed ball of fire shoots, hits the can, and explodes. Although this time with less force, as I tried to hold back. Luvia nods approvingly. "Good, again."

I nod and aim at the last target before repeating. This time, the firebolt hits even more precise and the explosion is even smaller. _The chair is even mostly still intact._ I look to Luvia who once again nods.

"Alright, do you think you can conjure up an explosion from your hand? Instead of shooting it?" _She's not giving me a break, huh?_ I walk away from her until I'm a safe distance. I lift my hand up above my head and look at it while pondering. Eventually, the word comes to me.

" _Flare_!" I shout. The fire swirls and swells in my grasp briefly then rapidly expels from my hand, consuming the area above me in a small, explosive cone. Feeling the warmth and power behind the display fills my heart with awe. _This actually does feel pretty amazing._

"Excellent." Luvia calls out. "Now, forget the targets, give me three of your "bursts". Just aim them up at the sky." I frown at her constant demands but comply anyways.

After I finish the set of fireballs, Luvia commands me to run 50 laps around the mansion perimeter, with Reinforcement applied to my legs. I hesitate, feeling as though I deserved a break now, but agree anyways.

After that, the orders kept coming, getting more and more ridiculous than the last. Whether it be simultaneously casting reinforcement with one hand and a fire spell with the other or conjuring the biggest ball of fire I can and chucking it into the air. Eventually, I'm covered in sweat and heaving from the exertion. While resting before Luvia hands me my next task, I look up at the sky and realize the sun is well into setting, and nightfall will soon be here.

Instead of smacking me with another command, Luvia approaches me. I straighten up when she arrives in front of me to try and seem like I'm not exhausted, despite being covered in sweat and all of my limbs feeling like they are full of needles.

With no warning, Luvia reaches up and unfastens my first few shirt buttons before opening up to reveal my bare chest. She spreads her hands and places them carefully on my damp chest. I panic for a moment but calm down whenever I see her eyes shut and a concentrated look on her face. _She must be checking my mana reserves again._ A moment after this thought crosses my mind, Luvia opens her eyes.

"As I thought." She states simply before looking up to meet my gaze. After staring at me for a few seconds, I see slight concern spread across her face.

"E-Emiya?" She asks, worriedly.

"What? What's wrong?" She shakes her head and pulls my arm up and around her shoulder.

"Nothing, let's just get inside. That's enough for today." I don't argue and instead follow along with Luvia, letting her help guide me there.

After entering the house, Luvia takes me into the dining room. She seats me in my usual spot.

"Can I get you anything? Are you hungry?" Luvia asks hastily.

"No, that's fine. Some water would be great though." Without delay, Luvia quickly scampers away and into the kitchen. _Considering how ruthless she was in those exercises earlier, she sure seems concerned about me now…_

Soon Luvia reemerges from kitchen, rushing over to me with a glass of water. After handing it to me, she watches like a hawk while I raise it to my lips and begin downing it. I notice from the complexion of my right hand, and of my face's reflection in the cold water of the glass, what must have Luvia so concerned.

"My skin looks pretty pasty." I comment after finishing the water. Luvia's expression turns grievous after hearing my observation.

"Is anything else wrong?" She inquires.

"Not particularly. My arms and legs are filled with some acute stinging sensations, though. Along my back, too." She lowers her gaze to the floor.

"I see… Why don't you go towel off and regroup with me in the lab afterwards?" I hesitate before begrudgingly nodding. _I really don't want to do anything else magic related tonight…_

I stand from my seat and begin making my way to the foyer. Soon, I hear Luvia's own footsteps join me, close behind.

"Do uh, do you need any assistance?" She quietly offers as I begin ascending the stairs.

"I already told you, I feel fine. Besides, I doubt you want to help change me into new clothes." The red tint in her cheeks reignites after my mentioning of changing clothes.

"R-Right!" She agrees. I sigh while continuing on my way up the coiled stairwell.

* * *

At this point, all of my pajamas need to be washed or have been ruined due to my antics. Because of this, my options on what to wear are limited to the uncomfortable formal attire or my bathrobe. I debate for a moment on whether I should just stay in my current pjs, but considering they are soaked in sweat, covered in grass and dirt streaks, and smell of burned cloth, that's probably not a good idea.

Eventually I decide to wear my robe and a fresh pair of underwear. _No point in putting on the fancy clothes while I'm all sweaty. Since I'm probably going to take a shower after doing whatever Luvia has planned in the lab, the bathrobe makes the most sense._ Once I finish changing, I drape the damp pajamas over the ledge of the cobbled fireplace. As I exit the room, I think about how it'd be nice to start a fire before I go to sleep tonight.

* * *

Upon entering, I'm surprised to see the lab all reorganized and void of pillows and blankets. In the center of the magical lab, instead, sits Luvia who's sipping out of a small teacup. Another chair and a small folding table, topped with a teapot and another empty teacup, are next to her. I walk to claim the empty seat while taking note that Luvia's still in the same pajamas.

She finally turns her attention to me when I sit down. I begin fixing my own cup of tea before hearing her choke on her own and fall into a little coughing fit.

"Luvia?! What's wrong?" After a moment longer of coughing and rubbing her throat, she answers me.

"What- what are you wearing?!" I glance down at my red bathrobe in confusion.

"A… bathrobe? Haven't you seen one before? Auguste has the exact same one as me." She opens her mouth to respond, but no words come out. After staring at me in disbelief, Luvia sighs and takes another sip of her tea.

"Never mind, then." She finally answers. "Let's move on to why I called you here. I wanted to discuss the purpose of those exercises today."

"It was to teach me how to incant spells, right?" She shakes her head.

"That wasn't my goal, no. I'm pleased that it was a skill you picked up during the test, but the real goal was your magic expenditure."

"My magic expenditure?" _I don't know what that last word she used means…_

"Yes. In other words, I wanted you to use as much of your magic energy as possible." I tilt my head in confusion, not sure why she'd want me to do something like that. _Especially since she told me using too much could be deadly…_ She notices my confusion and clears her throat.

"Please, let me elaborate." She continues. "I've discussed this with you once before, but there are two types of 'magic sources' in this world. The first is mana, a substance that exists in the world around us, which mages can draw upon for extra reserves under certain circumstances. The other source is called Od. This energy is the innate storage of magic within a mage.

"Well, if you recall when I first checked your Od capacity, I couldn't believe how massive it was. It was completely mind boggling. I felt like it went on forever, unending. I couldn't tell what the precise limit to your reserves are. Since I couldn't determine exactly how many units your body held, I decided I should instead run a test to see how long until you ran out."

The purpose of all that spellcasting suddenly made sense. _She was making me use all the magic I had so she could tell how much I had in total. I suppose she found it out at the end? Considering she said the experiment was over and we went inside._

"Well? What's the results?" I ask, eager to find out. Luvia finishes a long, drawn out sip of tea after I ask my question. She places the cup back on the small platter.

"Inconclusive." She states.

"Huh?"

"Inconclusive." She repeats.

"What do you mean by that?" She begins pouring herself another cup while answering.

"After all those hours of making you cast and maintain your spells, when I checked how much Od you had left," she pauses to stir her tea a few times and take a sip "it seemed just as massive and unlimited as the first time I checked." My eyes widen in amazement.

"Hey, isn't that like, amazing?" I question in astonishment. She shakes her head. I look at her in disbelief, unsure why she'd disagree.

"The fact itself is amazing, terrifying even. It explains why you're able to take so many shortcuts with magecraft and spellcasting; you're supplementing excessive Od to construct and cast the spells instead of doing so through knowledge and understanding. It's also why your Reinforcement magecraft is so profound. At least, that's the only sensible reason I can come up with. However, that's where the amazing aspects of it end." I scratch my head and raise my brow at her, unable to piece together what she means.

"Why is that so, Luvia?"

"Do you remember when you commented on how your skin looked paler? And how your arms, legs, and even your back were stinging?" I look down at my hand which had become more flush and natural-colored over the past hour. _Almost back to normal._ I nod at Luvia, pulling my attention away from the hand. "Those are side effects of excessive stress on magic circuits." With that one comment, everything clicks into my head and I realize what she's been trying to explain.

"I see…" I mumble.

"You understand now?" She continues. "Irritation to the nervous system and altercations in the pigmentation of your body. These are the two most common effects of overusing magic circuits. I've also informed you of this before, as I'm sure you recall, but even though your Od reserves are inexplicably large, your magic circuits are extremely mediocre." She pauses for a moment, in what appears to be hesitation, before continuing.

"No, it'd be better to be blunt." She firmly states. "I'd say they are even less than mediocre. In other words, below average." _Jeez, hearing her say that hurts worse than I would've thought…_ "Because of this, even if you have a never-ending supply of magic, your ability to cast spells will be limited. Complex spells or rituals will probably be forever impossible for you to learn. Honestly, probably any magecraft outside of your elemental affinity will be impossible. I suppose Reinforcement is an exception because you inherited your father's aptitude in it, but…"

I take advantage of her pausing in her explanation to interrupt her. "It's alright, Luvia. You don't have to say anymore. I understand." Her expression softens and her eyes fill with empathy at what I said.

"I'm… sorry." She quietly responds.

"No need to apologize. It's better I hear it now instead of later." She shakes her head.

"N-No, not about that… I'm sorry for putting you through that test. It was inconsiderate of me. The damage to your nerves and your skin losing color may have been temporary this time, but they could have very well been permanent if I pushed you even just a bit harder-" I press my finger gently against her mouth, urging her to stop talking.

"Really," I respond "it's alright. From my perspective, I think the test you put me through was necessary. Beneficial, even. So rather than _you_ apologizing, _I_ want to thank you." I pull my finger away after saying my piece. Luvia's expression turns from one of regret to slight embarrassment. Instead of saying anymore, she simply nods.

We sit in silence for a while, steadily draining the pot of all its tea as time passes. _The atmosphere feels a bit awkward now._ I decide I should probably say something to break the blaring silence.

"So, now that you put me through your tests and we know what we know, what good is that information for?" Luvia perks up at my question, apparently pleased that I thought to ask.

"Well," she begins "we have a much clearer picture of how to proceed forward now. As I said before, complex spells and magecraft, other than Reinforcement or fire, are out of the question. So, instead of broadening our lessons from here on out, we should just focus on these areas. However, I think we should keep trying with Projection as well, as per Rin's wishes." I nod at the suggestion. Luvia's mentioning of Projection and my mother makes me think back to the only time I saw her. That, and the nightmare with the man in the iron cage. I shiver at the thought.

"How will my weak magic circuits impact the effectiveness of the magic that I can use?" I quickly inquire, trying to get my mind off the cage man.

"Well… The way you implement your magecraft, it's hard to call it actual spellcasting. It's very primitive. You use one-word incantations and conjure flames and explosions of varying destructiveness. I'd say the best way to use your magecraft in combat is to use a multitude of quick, smaller explosions, fireballs, etc. The more large-scale you make the attacks, the more strain on your circuits. Whereas with smaller, simpler attacks, you'll be able to fight for longer." _I see…_

"Yeah, I suppose that makes sense." I bow my head and sigh, feeling disheartened that I would have to fight so tamely.

"D-Don't be sad!" Luvia quickly reassures, after seeing my unenthusiastic reaction. "There's still one more huge benefit I derived from the results that I've yet to mention!" I perk up and look at her curiously. "Even though the state of your magic circuits prevents you from utilizing your large reserves of Od to the fullest, there's still another boon that we have access to because of it."

"And that would be?" I inquire.

"We can extract some of your magic energy and use it as extra reserves. For when we assault the Tower, I mean." Luvia's mentioning of the attack on the Clock Tower suddenly smacks me back into reality. _I'd almost forgotten about the whole prison break they'd devised._

"Why would I need reserves of magic that you say I have an endless amount of?" She shakes her head at my query.

"No, silly. The energy we extract won't be for you, it'll be for Rin and I, in case we run out… which seems likely." _Her and Rin?_

I think back to when Luvia and Auguste explained the plan to me. _They said I would be finding and fighting that wizard marshal… what was his name? Oh yeah, Zelretch or something. And potentially the designation enforcer guarding the underground jail that my father's locked in, if I run into them._ I glance over to Luvia, who's patiently sipping on her tea while I ponder. _I guess that means while I do all of that, Rin, Luvia, and Auguste will be performing some kind of diversion? Or maybe keeping any of the other mages from interfering when I go to the wizard marshal?_

"Luvia," I finally respond "what will you, Rin, and Auguste be doing while I'm dealing with this Zelretch person? Are you really going to show your faces there and fight the other mages? You're both students, wouldn't that be really bad?" She shakes her head once more and softly sighs, before placing her teacup onto the small, folding table.

"I suppose," she begins "now would be as good a time as any to brief you on the full plan. Firstly, Rin has already been excommunicated from the association, so it can't get much better or worse for her. We also have no intention of showing our faces or getting caught. The jail holding your father is on the eastern wing of the building, so Rin and I will sabotage the western side with magic explosions that will be set preemptively. Afterwards, we make a flashy display with a small magic bombardment, to ensure the mages know they are actively under assault by an enemy." I nod in agreement at her explanation. _It sounds simple, but still effective. The plan is to make as many inhabitants gravitate to the side of the attack, in preparation to deal with the assailants. It'll make the side with the jail vacated and less defended._

"What next?" I ask.

"As soon as we cast a few more spells and shots at the western wall, Rin and I will immediately evacuate the area. It won't take long before they realize they're no longer under attack, but it'll buy you some time. I'll leave the city, while Rin sneaks around and joins you on the eastern side. Unlike Rin, I can't remain in too close proximity. Because, as you mentioned earlier, I'm still a student there and I'd rather not have them realize I was affiliated. I don't plan to join Rin and Shero on the lam." I tilt my head in confusion.

"On the… lamb?" Her face lights up in realization after seeing I don't know what the phrase means.

"It means when you're running away, usually from the law." I grow depressed after she explains. _I suppose it makes sense, that they'd have to run away after we broke him out._ It was pretty foolish of me to think everything would be sunshine and roses once my father escaped. _Even still… even if I only see him face-to-face once, I must meet Shirou Emiya._

"Where will Auguste be during all of this?" I ask, wanting to get back on topic.

"With you." She states simply. "He will go and assist you to the best of his ability. You see, Auguste, Rin, and yourself are the only ones who can afford to go in and perform the actual breakout. Rin is going to run away with Shero after the breakout, so it really doesn't matter if they find out she was part of it or not. Auguste isn't a mage and the association won't know he's related to me, so him helping you is a pretty safe bet. And, regardless, if push comes to shove, he can just leave my services and return to his home country before the Association can draw a connection between us." The more she talked, the more disheartened I became. _Is_ everyone _going to run away?_

"And what about me?" I press further.

"You're our ace!" She states, enthusiastically. "The Association won't have a snowball's chance in hell of figuring out who you are. You're a mage that they have no data or intel on; a dangerous enemy. Even if they dug to try and find out who you are, they wouldn't get far because there are no records of you. No birth certificate, no citizenship, no identification. And in the worst-case scenario, if they did somehow find you, you can just go on the run too." I frown at her last suggestion. She giggles after seeing my sour reaction before placing her hang reassuringly on my own.

"It was just a joke, Emiya." She assures me. "Don't worry, no matter what happens, I'll keep you safe here with me. So long as none of us get caught and we get in and out, everything will somehow fall into place after that." Her words ease my heart. In fact, I feel myself on the verge of shedding a tear of joy at her promise. I hold the waterworks back though, and nod in agreement with her.

"Alright, Luvia. I'll hold you to it."

* * *

What feels like another hour flies by as Luvia and I continue talking about pleasantries and regaling on the past few days we've spent together. _Strange though…_ _I could've sworn there was something important that I've been meaning to do. What was it?_ I turn my gaze to Luvia. She stops, mid-sip of her tea, and gives me a warm smile. Seeing her smile makes my worries dissipate. _Ah, whatever. I'm sure if it's that important, I'll remember by tomorrow._

I fidget in the chair to sit more comfortably. While adjusting, I feel the familiar, cool gem of my pendant brush back and forth across my chest. _Ah, darn it! Before I forget again, I should fill it with some magic._

I pull the necklace off and wrap my left hand around the beautiful diamond. Luvia watches me observantly as I begin to transfer some of my magical energy. _Hm, she's probably proud that I remembered to do it today…_ While letting my magic flow into the gem, I'm reminded of the comment Luvia made. _She said she could harness my magic energy and use it as an extra source for her and Rin during the assault, if they needed it… I wonder how._

The dim illumination within the gem extinguishes as I cease to fill it. "Uh, Luvia?"

"Hm?" She hums in response while setting her, once again, empty teacup on the table. _She drank almost the entire kettle herself… I only had one cup._

"I was just wondering," I begin "you said my excessive Od could be utilized as extra reserves for you and Rin. How would you do that?" She pauses for a moment and taps her chin, apparently thinking on how to answer.

"Well, um," she finally responds "your magical energy can be transferred to another mage after it's extracted." I offer her a confused look.

"How is it extracted?" She hesitates after my question before answering.

"Through… bodily fluids. What I had in mind was extracting some of your blood and diluting it to mix into a sort of… potion?" I get shaken by the idea, not eager to have my blood get taken. Auguste's words echo in my mind. _It's essential to living, so I should hold onto it._

"Does it have to be blood? That idea doesn't sound very appealing…" Luvia's cheeks redden ever so slightly at my question.

"N-No, it doesn't have to be. Like I said, it's all bodily fluids so sweat and saliva and all of that could work, it's just… It'd be better if it's blood. The Od concentration is strongest in blood and seme-" Before she could finish the word, she shuts her mouth and covers it with her hand. _"Seme"? Wait… don't tell me._ I notice the slight tint of pink in her cheeks from before has now branched across her face and darkened to a fiery red.

"I-I see." I quickly blurt out. "Very well, blood it is then!" I can feel my own face's warmth, proving I must be blushing too. For whatever reason, the anxiety in my chest continues to swell. "Maybe we should take some now?" I offer. Luvia looks surprised by the proposal.

"Tonight? I don't think so- I mean, the longer we have it sitting around, the less energy it retains. It'd be better to do it the day before the-"

"I-It's just a test run!" I quickly interrupt. She maintains her unsure stare with me, but eventually nods.

"Right… just a test. Very well." With that, we both stand from our chairs. I follow Luvia as she walks to one of the cabinets beneath the window showing the night sky outside.

After rooting around in the drawer for a while, Luvia finally rises to her feet. She unveils what she has clasped in her hand: a small, yellow rectangle with a tiny glass vial in the middle of it. The object is no bigger than a matchbox and it has an orange click-button on the side of it.

"Since this is just a trial run," Luvia begins "we'll just take a tiny bit of your blood by pricking your finger. No sense in drawing a syringe full this soon before the fight, especially since you exerted all that magical energy in the experiment and by filling your gem." I nod, finding that proposal very appealing.

"W-Will it hurt?" I nervously ask. She shakes her head.

"It'll sting, for just a little bit." She responds while grabbing my left hand and lifting it up. _So, my left one, huh?_

I anticipate Luvia to make a disgusted face or shy away from the arm that's still an abnormal color, with slightly obtuse fingernails. _It really is unsightly…_ Instead, she tightly wraps and interlocks her hand into it, lifting the forefinger up gently with her thumb. She tenderly wipes the pad of the finger with an alcohol wipe while staring at it intently. After wiping, she readies the yellow device in her other hand and presses it against the finger.

"Ready?" She asks. I nod, surprised at how concentrated and serious she seemed. After noting my approval, Luvia flicks her finger on the side of the yellow rectangle, making the button activate. I feel a quick jab into my finger from the needle and wince slightly. After only a second longer, Luvia pulls the device away. I notice the tiny glass vial in the middle of it is now full of blood as she places it on the counter top.

"Let's see… napkin, napkin." Luvia mumbles. We look around to try and find the napkin she had ready. A drip of my crimson blood rests on the tip of my finger in a teardrop shape.

I begin to feel self-conscious as Luvia is unable to find the napkin, her hand still interlocked with my scarred arm. _It's probably to hold pressure so that the blood doesn't come out so quickly… I doubt she wants to keep holding onto it._

"Sorry, Luvia…" She pauses her rummaging amongst the drawers of the cabinet to look at me in confusion.

"For what?"

"Suggesting we should do this. I'm sure you don't want to be touching my arm…" Her confused expression deepens, indicating she's perplexed by what I'm saying.

"What? Why wouldn't I want to touch your arm?" I frown at her, not happy that she seems to be playing dumb.

"Y-You know why! I mean, look at it. All fleshy-colored with ugly, uneven fingernails… it's unsightly." Luvia's confusion dissipates and she dons what looks like a piteous expression. I try to pull my hand out of her grip, feeling as though I'm about to die of shame and embarrassment. Her grip tightens.

"For goodness sakes, Emiya…" She sighs after making her comment and straightens up where she stands. She lifts my hand up towards her face, despite me resisting and trying to pull away. Without saying anything more, she parts her lips and envelops the tip of my finger in her mouth.

"Nngh?! W-What are you doing?!" My body tenses up and I panic as Luvia inexplicably sucks on the tip of my pricked finger. I try to pull my hand back, harder this time, and Luvia responds by glaring up at me and lightly biting down on my digit, in a gesture telling me to stop.

"Luvia, you don't have to try and prove anything! It's ok, really." She shakes her head slightly and pushes the finger a tad deeper into her mouth. A yelp escapes my mouth and my face begins to feel like it's been caught on fire.

"M-More importantly," I continue "it's unsanitary!" Luvia continues to ignore my nigh-begging of her to stop. After a moment longer, she removes my finger from her mouth. A thin trail of saliva bridges the gap between her lips and my finger as it's freed.

"Stop it!" She commands. "I don't want to hear you talking about yourself like that again, understand?" I stammer in confusion, unsure of why she's angry at me.

"B-But-" She glares at me, halting me from continuing to try and offer a rebuttal.

"No buts! I can't believe you'd think I saw your arm as ugly or unsightly…" Her tone devolves from one of anger into sadness. After a prolonged pause, she continues. "If it's you… then nothing about you is dirty, unsanitary, ugly, or whatever else you think." My breath catches in my throat and my mouth opens, slightly ajar.

"Luvia…" After I mutter her name in disbelief, she appears to become aware of what she just did and said, indicated by her face reddening to a crimson flush.

"I-I mean- that's not what I-" She tries to pull her hand away, probably to attempt to run in embarrassment, but now it's my turn to not let her pull away. I hold her hand firmly.

"Luvia, I… I feel the same. About you, I mean. You're not dirty and… you're definitely not unsightly!" She starts stammering at my confession and her blush spreads to the point even her ears are blood-red.

"Emiya w-what are you saying? I wasn't…" She begins to try and refute what I said but stops halfway through. I stare at her in anticipation, not sure what happens next. She too, stares at me expectantly. It feels like we're in a stand-off, waiting for the other to make their move.

I look into her eyes. The eyes that were so clear and focused only moments ago when she was taking the blood sample. The eyes that now stare at me half-lidded and clouded with emotions. _Lust. Love. Anticipation. I wonder if my eyes appear similarly to her?_ I glance down at her lips and I'm reminded of the story of Sleeping Beauty. _I... I want to kiss her._

"Luvia…" I finally murmur. "You said saliva can be used too, right?" She nods slowly and warily. "Maybe… maybe we should run another test?" She continues to gaze at me with her wanting eyes. Eventually, she takes a step towards me.

"Maybe we should." She replies. I match her step forward with one of my own. Our bodies only remain a short distance between one another. Our hands stay gently interlocked. I lean down while Luvia rises onto her tip-toes.

Her eyelids shut and her lips open slightly as the distance between us diminishes. I mimic the shape of her lips but leave my eyes open. _I want to see her… when we touch._ I can feel the warmth of her breath approach briefly before our lips press together.

The moment our lips connect, Luvia's eyes reopen. Instead of rational realization kicking in and compelling her to pull away, her eyes stare deeply into me. The airs of embarrassment and awkwardness evacuate and are replaced with desire. Her eyes glazed with lust stare lovingly into my own, as do mine into hers.

Without warning, her eyes close and her mouth opens slightly more. I shut my own eyes, wanting to just feel for the moment, both emotionally and physically. As if it's natural, my own lips move and clash with hers. It doesn't take long for her tongue to brush across the top of my lower lip. I reply by running mine along her upper lip. This transitions into both of them wrestling and coiling around each other. I can taste the slight tang of iron, probably from the drop of blood she licked from my finger.

As our saliva swaps and mixes, I loosen my grip on Luvia's hand before running my fingers up and along her arm. She whimpers into my mouth as I run my hand under her armpit and around her back. I pull her closer into me, doing away with the gap between us. She responds by draping her arms around my waist.

Soon, I take a moment of respite from the kiss and press my face into the nape of Luvia's neck, breathing heavily. By the rapid rising and falling of her chest and her own heaving, I can tell she needed to catch her breath too.

"Did *huff* did it work? Did you get some of my mana?" I ask for confirmation while raising my head to see her face. _She looks as disoriented as before._ Luvia offers a puzzled expression at my question.

"I can't tell…" She finally mumbles. After responding, her embrace on me tightens and she begins to lift her face up to mine again. "We should try again… just to be sure." After hearing her suggestion, I lose all restraint.

I butt my lips into her own, resuming our kissing with just as much fervor as before. Her eyes sparkle in surprise from my forcefulness. It's short-lived however, before she begins wrestling against my mouth with even more gusto. _This angle isn't good enough. I want her to be at eye-level._

I push her back, against the counter, before lifting her up and seating her on top of it. I quickly resume the kiss afterwards. Soon, one of Luvia's hands run up and along my back before arriving at the base of my head. She sifts her fingers into my hair and pushes me deeper into the kiss. _It's not enough. It's not enough!_

I pull my lips away from the heated lock, to which Luvia shoots me a confused, pouty look. I plant my lips elsewhere, on the nape of her neck, and begin suckling on the tender area.

"Ahn!" She yelps. I consider it a sign of approval and suck a bit more roughly. After giving the spot attention for a while, I move my lips lower towards her collarbone. "E-Emiya! Hnng! Wait…" I don't even hear what she's saying as I continue to plant kisses and love marks down her chest.

Once I reach the collar of her nightgown, I lift my hand up and wrap my fingers around the first button. Before I can unfasten it, Luvia presses her hands against my chest and pushes me back a little.

"I said wait!" She barks. "S-Stop… don't do anymore." I backpedal a few steps after hearing her disapproval, feeling my heart break. _Did I do something wrong? What did I… I'm such an idiot!_ I turn to begin running towards the door but stop when I hear Luvia continue.

"I-If we're going to go any further…" I look back to see her fidgeting nervously. "Then I want to do it… pr-properly." I continue staring in bewilderment, not sure what's happening anymore. She notices my confusion and hops off the counter. After walking to me, she wraps her left hand around my own. She then continues towards the door of the lab.

After we walk out into the hallway, she flicks the lab's light off and shuts the door. She looks at me briefly before ripping her gaze away and staring at the floor.

"This way…" She mumbles. A thousand different thoughts rush through my head as she quickly leads me down the hall. I can't tell if I'm in trouble, in luck, or anything in between.

"Luvia? Where are we going?" I ask warily. She looks at me in surprise, as though it should be obvious.

"Where else?" She asks quietly. "My… my b-bedroom." _Her bedroom?_ It doesn't take me long after that to piece together what must be happening. The vivid imagery of Rin and Shirou rush through my head. _Wait! SEX?!_

I begin panicking as I realize the route Luvia's taking me through the halls will indeed bring us to her room. However, the more I think about, the less nervous I become. The memories of the time I've spent with her, both during these past few days and ever since I first came here, replay in my mind.

I slowly realize that I've grown very fond of her, that I like her. I reflect on what just happened in the lab and I realize Luvia must feel the same way about me, if not even stronger. _What's about to happen… it's something I want._

Just as I feel as though I've come to terms with sleeping with her, I feel an ache spread throughout my head. I reach up with my free hand and rub my temple, trying to ease the pain. As I do so, I suddenly feel a wave of rationale waft over me.

A thought crosses my mind. _Do I really want to do this?_ I look at my hand interlocked with hers and I remember the passionate embrace we held each other in, just moments ago. Yes, this is something I want.

 _Is this really the time to be doing this? Shouldn't I sleep, train, study?_ While it's true that the daunting task of breaking my father out inches closer every day, there's time for this. Just this once.

 _What about Auguste? The fight with him?_ The fact dawns on me that I'd completely forgotten about the fight. On top of that, the fight between us takes place tomorrow. Because of the time I spent with Luvia in the lab, the night's already half over. There's no longer any time to prepare. I'll just have to face him tomorrow as I am, for better or for worse.

We arrive at Luvia's door and she releases her hold on my hand before sliding into the room. I go to follow her, but she halts me with her hand.

"Not yet." She timidly responds. "Let me get ready first…" With that, she backs into the room and shuts the door. I walk to the opposing wall and lean against it while nervously waiting.

 _Are you even thinking this through? It isn't wise to bed a woman with whom you have no prior engagements with._ As these logical thoughts continue to pass through me, they become even clearer and more foreign. It's as though I'm arguing with myself; my heart vs. my brain.

Luvia is the woman I've lived with and laughed with. Besides Auguste, she's the person I'm closest to. Hopefully that remains the case now and forever. I couldn't imagine myself doing this with anyone but her. If it isn't her, then it wouldn't be worth it.

 _You must ask yourself if this is love. Or is it simply just lust?_ What a stupid question to ask myself. This very well may just be an action I take from getting swept up by desire, in the heat of the moment. However, I can say with certainty I love Luvia Edelfelt. I take solace in this truth because of one simple reason: if I try to imagine life without her, I can't. It'd be a world in which I wouldn't want to exist.

"Um, Emiya?" My thoughts are interrupted when I hear Luvia call out to me from the room. "I'm… I'm ready." I swallow nervously. Slowly, I begin walking towards the door. The door that separates me from something that'll change my life forever. Something that will change my relationship with Luvia forever.

 _Don't do this._ I pause mid-step. Why is it that I hesitate? Why is it I keep trying to reason with myself not to do this? I feel a chill run up my spine from the last thought that I had. It felt like a command, or perhaps a threat.

I shake my head in irritation. I believe strongly in my heart that I want to be with her, so there's no point in second guessing now. I finally reach the door. I lift my hand towards the knob.

" **The physical union with Luviagelita Edelfelt will result in your death.** "

My hand freezes above the doorknob. My hair stands on end. A cold sensation breaks out in my feet and resonates up throughout my body.

I look down at my hand to see it trembling uncontrollably. I slowly and hesitantly turn my head to look behind me, where the voice spoke to me. Once my head is turned, I see… _nothing?_

Without warning, I feel something stab into my chest.

"Ugh?!" My eyes widen and I stagger back a few steps. The blade, or whatever it is, continues driving into me and through my chest cavity. I feel the skin of my back give way as it punctures it, having been stabbed clean through me. The bitter, metallic taste of blood wafts over my tongue as it gushes out of my mouth.

I stand, terrified, unsure of whether to look and see who my assailant is. I finally muster the courage and decide to look into the eyes of who stabbed me, before I die. I turn my head forward once more and look down.

Instead of being greeted with the gaze of the assassin, I see no one. My hand instantly darts up from my side and pats my chest. _What?_ I open up my bathrobe. _Nothing?_ There's no blade, wound, or blood. _Blood?_ I reach up to my chin and lips with both of my hands. After rubbing them for a moment, I realize there's nothing. _But I… I coughed up blood._

Despite there being no blood, I swear there's still a lingering taste of the pungent fluid. _Was it a dream? No, that wouldn't be the right word. A hallucination?_ Despite being relieved that I'm not dead, I also feel horrified. The bizarre situation reminds me of the encounter with the wolves. _Wait, the wolves? Is the voice I heard the same from that time too?_

I look back at the door, feeling a great deal of uncertainty well up within me. _I… maybe I really shouldn't join Luvia…_ I have no idea what that hallucination means, or if I really will die if I sleep with her, but it'd be better safe than sorry.

Just as I'm about to turn and run away from the whole predicament, Luvia's door opens. She pokes her head out and looks at me in confusion.

"What's taking so long, Emiya? You shouldn't keep a lady waiting…" I notice a burning blush covering her face. _How do I tell her I changed my mind?_ I look around nervously while biting my lip, unsure of what to do. She notices my skittish manner and smiles before letting out a small giggle.

"W-What's funny?" I ask her.

"You're nervous, aren't you?" _Yes, yes, I am. But I don't think it's for the reason you think it is._ "It's ok." She continues. She opens the door fully and takes a step out into the hall with me. I feel my hart skip a beat.

Instead of the nightgown she wore earlier, Luvia's now sporting a lacy blue bra and panties. The fabric covering her nipples and nether region is a fine, translucent mesh. I'm barely able to make out the shape and color of her nipples underneath.

"It's my first time, too." She states. "I'm nervous, really nervous. More than you, I'm sure." I open my mouth to try and formulate the words to tell her she needs to stop, but find myself unable to. _Luvia, you don't understand what you're doing to me!_ How do I tell her I'm not nervous about sleeping with her but about being skewered? She takes another step forward after I continue being unable to form a response.

"But then I just… remind myself that I wouldn't want my first, or any other time, to be with anyone but you." After making her comment, she reaches up and gently grabs the sides of my head. "And suddenly," she resumes "I'm not so nervous anymore." With that, she leans up and plants a soft, loving kiss on my lips.

After maintaining the lip lock for a moment longer, she pulls away and looks up at me. She looks at me pitifully with her lusty eyes. "So please... don't make me beg." She hotly whispers.

 _I wasn't gifted with a childhood. I wasn't able to grow up with a mother, a father. Much less any siblings. Even friends are forbidden to me._ Luvia grabs my hand and turns towards the door. _All I was allowed were two guardians in this house… Can I at least be allowed a lover? Must I be deprived of that too?_ I begin walking with her to the doorway.

 _Luvia would never hurt me, much less kill me. And if someone else must because I decide to be with her, then that's fine._ All reasoning, all logic, and all worries dissipate from my mind. All I can feel are the strong emotions I hold for Luvia. _If joining with her means my death, so be it._ I let myself be pulled into the dark room.


	19. Testament

Despite Luvia's bedroom being dark, I can still make out a few details thanks to a lit candle on the nightstand next to her bed. The little wisp of fire casts an unusual pinkish-purple glow on the surroundings. I'm surprised to see things I would've never suspected Luvia of having, such as a plush teddy bear on top of her dresser. _I got a look at it back when I peeked through the keyhole, but I never would've guessed her room would be so girly._

"Hey…" Luvia mumbles. "Quit staring so much, it's embarrassing." I look at her in disbelief. _Is it really any more embarrassing than what you dragged me here to do?_

Luvia releases her hold on my hand and walks around to the side of her bed, before crawling on top. She kneels on top of it and stares at me expectantly. I stand awkwardly at the foot of the bed, not entirely sure what to do next. _I guess I… get on the bed with her._

After taking a seat on the mattress in front of her, we now stare at each other silently. Even though it's dimly lit, I can tell Luvia is being tortured by her incessant blush. _Maybe I should take the initiative?_

I shuffle forward on the mattress until I'm only a few inches away from her. I swallow my nervousness and reach up to cup the side of her face with my hand. Following in suit, I place my lips against hers and mimic the passionate kiss from earlier in the lab.

She adapts to the gesture and begins returning the kiss. While keeping our lips locked, I lean against and push her to lie down on the mattress. She squirms slightly underneath me and wraps her arms around my lower back.

I retract from the kiss to take a look at her. Despite only smooching for a few seconds, she's already heaving slightly. I notice red marks dotting the left side of her neck, tracing down towards her chest. _From when I was kissing her neck in the lab…_

My hand moves from Luvia's side, up towards her shoulders. I reach underneath her, tracing my fingers along the fabric of her bra's back strap. Upon reaching the spot where the straps connect, I begin fidgeting with the tiny, metal hook holding them together.

It only takes a few seconds of fumbling for me to undo the latch. Luvia takes care of the next part for me and pulls the bra off, dropping it off the right bedside. Before I can get an eyeful of the sight I'd been waiting for, Luvia's hands quickly cover up the newly exposed area.

"Luvia?" I ask, confused.

"D-Do I have to show them? I already feel like I could die of embarrassment at any moment…" I whine slightly at her refusal to unveil them. I quickly ponder how I can convince her.

"Oh, I know!" I state, sitting up straight. She watches as I undo the cloth belt of my bathrobe before pulling it off and slinging it to the left side of the room, leaving me in just my boxers. "There. My chest is out in the open, so now it's your turn."

"Huh? B-But that's completely different!" I give her the best puppy dog eyes I can.

"Pleeaaase?" She hesitates for a moment, but eventually sighs and slowly moves her hands without saying another word. I stare in wonder as she exposes them to me. "C…Cool."

I immediately notice several differences in her chest compared to Rin's. For one, Luvia's are much, much larger. Secondly, her nipples aren't the same as Rin's. She has puffy, peaked nipples that seem to merge with the areola in perky mounds, whereas Rin had two pronounced, protruding nubs. _Wait. Why am I comparing her tits with my mom's?_

Luvia continues to get flustered and disgruntled as I stare intently at her chest, deep in thought. She pouts while quickly trying to cover up her breasts again.

"I knew it! They look weird right?" I quickly wrap each of my hands around her own and press them back against the mattress before she can clap them over her chest.

"No, no! Wait! They don't look weird, not in the slightest. I was just in awe… they're amazing." She whines while tugging against my hands.

"Saying that doesn't make me any less embarrassed!" While staring at her breasts, I feel an odd compulsion wash over me. I lower my face to her chest and envelop her left nipple with my lips. "Hya?" She softly squeals in surprise when I take her nipple into my mouth without warning. "E-E-Emiya, what are you- ah!" Luvia interrupts her own question by yelping when I give her teat a suckle.

"This is payback for what you did to my finger back in the lab!" I respond after briefly unlatching my mouth. I quickly resume sucking on her breast, which she responds to by squealing and softly moaning.

"Ah! Hnn! B-But why suck on my breast?"

"Mm, because they looked yummy." I respond out the corner of my mouth without pulling away from my hold on her nipple.

"Th-They look wh-wh-what?!" I glance up to see her blush has deepened to the point even her ears are burning a bright crimson. Her eyes, however, betray her apparent embarrassment. Within them I can see the lustful haze from before, telling me she's enjoying the situation.

I retract my hands away from hers. Almost instantly, she reaches towards my head. I expect her to pull me off from my suckling, but instead she wraps her hands around the back of my head and pulls me closer. To answer her eagerness, I open my mouth slightly and coax her tit deeper into my mouth, enveloping the entire areola.

"Hah! Mmn!" She lets out even louder, pleasured moans in response. I take it a step further by maneuvering my left hand up to her right breast and gingerly pinching the pert tip between my fingers.

While thoroughly working on her breasts, I notice her hips beginning to squirm around and occasionally grind into mine. I rotate my mouth from her left breast to the right one before running my fingers down her abdomen and towards her waistline.

"Mm- ahah! That tickles, Emiya!" I teasingly stop above her bellybutton and begin tracing circles around it for a moment, prompting her to let out uncontrolled laughs between her moans. However, not wanting to waste any more time, I soon continue my trek and end up at the elastic waistband of her underwear. "E-Emiya, wait." I look up at her inquisitively before unlatching my lips after taking one more big suck, causing a popping noise as her nipple is freed.

"What is it, Luvia?"

"Before I take them off… you have to do the thing again." I tilt my head in confusion.

"What thing?"

"Yours… y-you take yours off first." I sit up straight and hook my thumbs into the sides of my boxers. I go to yank them off, but my hands don't comply. I suddenly become self-conscious of the situation. _Dammit. After coming this far, it's a hell of a time to be getting embarrassed._ Luvia seems to notice my hesitation and sits up as well. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing it's just… kinda embarrassing." Her mouth opens slightly in awe at my confession.

"Embarrassing? After pushing me down and ravaging my chest, _this_ is where you get embarrassed?"

"D-Don't use the word 'ravaged'!" She places her hands on either side of her hips and frowns at me.

"Really now, there's no need to be so shy. I've seen it all before." My eyes widen in shock and my mouth hangs slightly ajar.

"Y-You have? When?!" She stares at me as though it should be obvious.

"Well, you know, when you first got here you didn't know anything, so you had to wear a diaper for the first-"

"AH! Stop it, stop it! Shut up, I don't want to hear this!" Not wanting to hear any more embarrassing stories from when I was an ignorant, belligerent man-child, I quickly yank the boxers off and toss them in the direction I threw my bathrobe. Luvia dons a pleased smile and begins staring down at my genitals.

"Woah, so this is what one looks like…" She mumbles while lowering her face. I jump slightly when I feel her warm breath fan across the area. My self-consciousness sets in again and I start worrying about its appearance. _Does it look weird? Is there supposed to be hair down there or is that weird?_ After that embarrassing conversation about when I first lived here, my penis now only stood at half-mast, so to speak.

"Does it… um, look weird?" I nervously ask.

"H-How would I know, idiot!?" She hastily spits back in an offended tone. "Yours is the only one I've ever seen… are they normally this big?"

"H-How would I know, idiot!?" I quickly shout at her, half-mimicking her own voice.

"G-Good point…" She mumbles. I think back for a moment on the times when Auguste helped me bathe, when I couldn't do so myself. I also recall the dream of my father and mother sleeping together. _Compared to both of those times, mine does seem to be significantly larger…_ I decide to keep that fact to myself though, not wanting to tell Luvia I have two sources to compare to. I jump again when I feel something wrap around my cock.

"Luvia?" I see her tentatively holding my member with both of her hands. She looks up to meet my gaze, her blush ever-present.

"Am I not allowed to touch it? After you got to feel up and suck on my boobs?" I bite my tongue and hesitantly nod my head as I feel a blush burn its way across my own face. Luvia continues to stare at it inquisitively and, after alternating her grip several times, begins stroking me slightly.

"Nn!" I lightly grunt in surprise from the sudden gesture.

"Emiya? Did it hurt?"

"No, no. It just… felt kinda good."

"I see…" After a moment longer, she begins stroking it once more. I manage to suppress the moans and grunts of pleasure that her, albeit clumsy, hand movements are inciting. It doesn't take long for my cock to become fully erect and stand at attention. "It got even bigger…"

"Yeah, it feels really good." Luvia nods absentmindedly while staring intently at it, her hand motions having ceased. I take note that Luvia needs both hands for her fingers to wrap around the entire girth. I gasp when she lowers her head down and takes the tip of my cock into her mouth.

I try to question the sudden oral sex, but when I open my mouth, all that escapes is a moan as she lowers her head to take in more of the length. After pausing for a moment, Luvia shuts her eyes and pushes her head even further down, taking it all the way into her throat. It's short-lived however, as almost immediately after taking most of the length in, she pulls it out. As soon as her mouth is free, she begins coughing while her eyes water up.

"Luvia, are you ok?" I worriedly ask. She nods while rubbing her throat.

"*cough* I didn't think *cough* it'd be that hard." I reach behind her and pat her on the back as she finishes coughing.

"You didn't have to put it in your mouth… What made you want to do that anyways?"

"I'd heard from other girls at the Tower that a guy likes it when you do that for him. Did it not feel good?"

"Uh, no, it felt very good."

"I-In that case!" She quickly leans down and inserts the head of my cock back into her mouth before I can say anything. She wraps her right hand around the base of it while continuously bobbing her head up and down. Despite not taking it in as deep as she did before, the constant stimulation causes me to groan in pleasure.

I instinctively reach up and place my hands on the side of her head. I soon find myself unable to help it and begin matching her movements with small thrusts of my own. Every time I buck my hips, she gags slightly, but doesn't make any indication of stopping or pulling away. It doesn't take long before I feel myself getting close. And, after she gets the hang of it and begins making tongue movements along the shaft while sucking up and down on it, I feel myself about to burst.

"Luvia! If you do that, I'm gonna-" I feel my toes curl and my legs stiffen as my ejaculation arrives. Luvia lets out a surprised "mmph?!" at my sudden orgasm, but quickly adapts and begins swallowing as I continue to let out spurt after spurt of jizz into her mouth.

My knees grow weak and I contently fall back onto my butt atop the bed. Having my member pulled from her mouth, Luvia once again coughs lightly while covering her mouth. She only coughs once or twice before clearing her throat and catching her breath. She notices a splotch of my cum on the corner of her mouth and, after wiping it off with her forefinger, licks it clean. For some reason, the act of her swallowing my load causes a blush to erupt across my face and any trace of fatigue to dissipate. She notices me sitting and watching her before frowning.

"A-Are you done?" She asks, sounding slightly disappointed.

"Hardly! If you do something like that to me, I'm just gonna want more!" I lean forward and pounce onto her, causing her to yelp in surprise. Without waiting for her to take care of it herself, I curl my fingers into the hem of her panties and begin tugging them down.

"Emiya, what's gotten into you?" Luvia asks me sounding surprised, but not disapproving.

"I don't know, but after what you just did, I suddenly really want you." Her face heats up at my comment. Once I pull her panties down around her knees, I reach up with my foot and hook my big toe into them before dragging them the rest of the way down. Meanwhile, my hands both fill themselves with her bountiful breasts and I begin kneading them.

"You… want me?" I nod before quickly pressing my lips into hers. She once again lets out a surprised "mmph!?" into my mouth as I eagerly press into her. I boldly force my tongue into her mouth and coax hers into mine before playfully biting and sucking on it. While I occupy myself with that, Luvia begins rubbing my shaft with her slick, warm nether regions. As we wrestle with our tongues and rub each other with our sensitive love-making organs, I feel my patience dwindle and my restraint diminish.

"Luvia…" I mumble after pulling away from the heated kiss "can I put it in? Pleeease?" I join her in looking down at the spot where we're rubbing against each other. Luvia also has hair above her crotch, despite being golden in color and only covering a small patch.

"You-you want to put it in? I… shouldn't we wipe it off or something first?" I raise my brow in confusion, unsure of what she's referring to. "I mean… there's still some semen on it and everything." I look down and, surely enough, there's still some semen glazed over the tip and along the shaft.

"It's fine, isn't it? There's going to be more covering it soon enough, anyways." Her eyes widen slightly at what I say as her blush sets in heavier. She opens her mouth as if to say something, but no words or protests come out. I take it as an ok to continue and reach down to grab my shaft and line the tip up with her pussy.

"Do it slowly…" She mumbles. I nod while grabbing her by the hips. Slowly, just as she instructed, I press my hips forward and my member into her. I'm taken aback by the surprising tightness but continue to push. I encounter a brief resistance, but smoothly finish embedding myself into her afterwards.

"Nngh! Mm..." Luvia's whimpering catches me off-guard. I notice her eyes have begun tearing up again.

"Luvia? What's wrong?" She shakes her head and forces a slight smile.

"Nothing, I'm just not accustomed to it. You're too big for your own good…" I frown and awkwardly rest my hands atop the bed on either side of her, unsure of what to do. "Emiya…" she continues "it'll help if you hold me." While suggesting it, she raises her hands up and wraps her arms around my back.

"Al-Alright." I slide my hands along the top of the mattress and tuck them underneath her before lowering my body until our bare chests rest against each other. She stares into my eyes, our faces only being an inch or two apart. She gives me a warm smile before raising her head and planting her lips on mine.

Between the passionate kiss and the stimulation of her lower lips around my cock, I feel a building urge to begin moving. I raise my hips and pull about halfway out, causing her to softly moan into our locked lips. Then, as gently as before, I slowly plunge my cock back into her.

After staying still for a moment, enjoying the affectionate kissing and the warmth of being inside her, I repeat the motion. I retract my left arm from underneath her and begin teasing her nipple again. Eventually, the inner walls of Luvia's vagina become tighter and frequently spasm around me, making it feel even more pleasurable. Luvia pulls away from my lips while breathing heavily.

"You can… go faster now." She murmurs, almost inaudibly. I nod eagerly before lowering my mouth and planting another love mark on her collarbone. "Ahn!" She moans in surprise when, in unison to me suckling on the sensitive area, I buck my hips up into her.

"Hnn!" Even I let a groan out from the amazing sensation. I grow embarrassed that I continue to be unable to stifle my pleased moans, so I retake one of Luvia's nipples back into my mouth.

"Ah!? Again with my boobs?" I respond by coiling my tongue around the nub and giving a strong suck. Another loud moan breaks free from her mouth. _Her voice is so sweet. I want to hear even more!_

While continuing my forceful sucking, I resume thrusting in and out of her quivering pussy. I soon establish a steady rhythm after picking up the speed and force behind my hip motions.

"Ah, ah, ah! Emiya!" I instinctually ram my entire length into her after hearing her moan out my name. "H-Hyaa! Emiyaaa!" Her legs both rise and swiftly wrap around my hips, locking me in place. My surprise grows when I feel her, already tight, snatch coil around me even tighter.

I cease my thrusting, out of fear that if I tried to pull out it'd get ripped off. Warm fluid floods out from her spasming pussy as she remains wrapped tightly around me.

"Ah! L-Luvia, too tight!" The stimulation proves too much, and I feel the familiar heat begin pooling in my loins, telling me I'm close. I grind my hips into her to try and edge my orgasm closer, which elicits another loud, surprised moan from Luvia.

"Emiya, don't move! I just came, i-it's sensitive." I rapidly shake my head.

"No, you don't understand! I'm about to cum too." I firmly grab her by the hips and begin thrusting, albeit with small thrusts due to her legs still being locked around me.

"Eh?! You're going to cum again? W… Wait!" I raise my brow in confusion at her, not understanding what the problem is. _Even if I wanted to stop, I can't exactly with your legs and arms wrapped around me like pythons._

"S-Sorry! I can't hold it!" I bite down on my lower lip before giving one final thrust and driving my pulsing cock all the way into her. "O-Ohhh!" After seating my member all the way inside her pussy, I feel myself climax once more. However, this time the orgasm feels like it's on a whole other level and waves of pleasure wash over my entire body.

"Ah! Ahn!" As I begin ejaculating deep inside her, Luvia's moans raise by a few more decibels and I feel her pussy walls begins tightening and spasming once more. "So, hot… Emiya, I'm cumming again!" Without warning, Luvia's hands drift up to my head before grabbing it and pulling it down to her. She slams her lips against mine and begins roughly deep kissing me, her tongue running wild inside my mouth. Meanwhile, her legs somehow coil even tighter around me.

I thrust in unison with the spurts of jizz shooting out of my cock, trying in vain to embed myself even deeper into her. With every small thrust, Luvia whimpers and mewls into the kiss and a small spasm ripples throughout her vagina.

After who-knows how long, I feel the orgasm subside and my member ceases to pump cum into her. I pull away from the lip lock for some much-needed air. While heaving and trying to get some oxygen back into my lungs, I rest my head atop her chest, between each of her large, soft breasts.

"Love..." I begin absentmindedly mumbling "I *huff* I love you, Luvia. *huff* I love you. I really, really love you." After catching my breath, I lift my head up and place it into the crook of her neck.

"Jeez, Emiya…" She finally responds. "I would sure hope you love me. After letting out such a huge load inside of me. Do you have any idea what happens when a man ejaculates inside of a woman?" I raise my head to look inquisitively at her.

"You could get pregnant… right?" Her eyes widen and her jaw drops.

"Y-You know?! How? Wait, nevermind that. You knew it could happen and yet you still did it?! How brutish of you…" I frown at her while nuzzling my cheek against hers, not understanding what was so bad about it.

"Hey, I don't have a problem with it, you know? I love you and wouldn't want to do it with any other woman. So, even if it were to happen…" Surprisingly, her eyes widen even more, and she turns to face away from me.

"I-It's not a matter of how much you love me… idiot." I frown again before tucking my arms underneath her and pulling her in for a tight embrace.

"Well, that's a shame then. Because I really, reaaaaaaally love you. More than anyone else, I bet." After remaining silent for a moment, she finally turns to face me again.

"M-Me too…" She begrudgingly states. "I love you, too." I smile happily before giving her a quick smooch on the lips.

"In that case!" I declare "You won't care that I start round two, right?" her face lights up in shock.

"Round two?! W-What do you- ah! Hah, ahn!" Her surprise morphs into pleasure as I begin pounding into her with even more gusto than before, simultaneously answering her question while cutting it off.

* * *

"You *huff* idiot. I can't believe… you came two more times after that." I laugh while struggling to catch my own breath. We lay on our backs side-by-side, covered in sweat and sexual fluids.

"Yeah well, I can't believe you came _three_ more times." I refute. She sits up while stammering and blushing.

"I-I-I did not cum three times! Only once… maybe twice." I smile while letting out a content yawn.

"Whatever you say, boss." She pouts at me while I begin pulling down the bed's comforter to pull over myself. _Since we're both thoroughly damp now, tonight's going to be a really chilly one._ After pulling the comforter down, I beckon Luvia with my hand.

"W-What?" She asks, blushing.

"Come lie next to me. We're both wet and naked, so we should hold each other while we sleep… to keep warm." She appears slightly frazzled by my suggestion, but eventually nods.

"Right… to keep warm."

Once she crawls over and lies down, I tuck my arm under her and pull her the remaining distance between us, towards me. Despite letting out a small, surprised "eep!" when I suddenly pulled her into my embrace, she doesn't protest. I finish by pulling the plush, blue blanket over us and nestling my face in between her breasts.

"Seriously…? Again with the boobs? Jeez… pervert." I laugh and retaliate by placing another love bite on her right tit, causing a small, surprised moan to slip from her mouth.

"A pervert that loves you to death. That's me." My response seems to catch her off-guard again, as she tries to stammer for a response. Being held by her, experiencing her warmth, hearing the soft rhythm of her heartbeat, everything about the situation puts my soul at ease and makes my drowsy eyes flutter shut.

"Love you… too." Is what I hear before my consciousness slips and I fall into a heavy slumber.


End file.
